All Articles Tagged "first dates"
Can money buy love? Well, according to a new study by WhatsYourPrice.com, how much a man spends on the first date can determine the length of the relationship. The study found that American men who as much as $240 on first date versus the national average of $80 were 23 percent more likely to land in a serious relationship.
WhatsYourPrice.com conducted the study over a two-year period and looked at 1,000 American men who were all members of the dating website. “The amount a man spends on a first date indicates his level of sincerity towards building a serious/lasting relationship,” says Brandon Wade, founder and CEO of WhatsYourPrice.com, a site where dates are auctioned off to the highest bidder. “That is not to say that men should always spend the same amount as they did for the first date. However, to leave a good impression, men need to do, what I call, ‘The Peacock Dance’ to show they are good providers and therefore viable mates.”
The survey might be on to something. As we reported not long ago, many women–and men–are asking potential dates for their credit rating. So it stands to reason, that big spenders on the first date might have a better shot.
The study found:
- Men who spent below $80 were more likely to be promiscuous than men who spent more.
- On average a mere 15% of men in the study claimed on average they spent $240 or over on a first date, while 39% stuck to the national average of $80.
- Of the men who spent $160, 56% were in a serious relationship within three months.
- Of the men who spent $80, 45% were in a serious relationship within three months.
Does it matter to you what a man spends on the first date?
In my opinion, first dates are for gauging chemistry, compatibility and communication. It’s understandable to want to make a good first impression, so a man or woman will probably want to pull out all the stops in order to impress their date. However, I find that little things can make or break a date, and if you neglecting to notice them will ensure that there won’t be a second one. First dates are supposed to be exciting…and maybe even magical for the both of you. When thinking of the perfect first date, consider the following tips to help get you both off to a great start.
When you’re looking for Mr. Right and seemingly juggling several different men, it can be stressful, to say the least. To add even more stress into the equation, dating typically also involves break-ups, bad first dates, and awkward dating moments. While dating is bound to add a little bit of stress into your life, it doesn’t have to be overly troublesome. Here are some ways to manage the stress of dating.
Don’t bite off more than you can chew
If you already have a busy schedule, don’t try to have three dates during one week. Be sure that you plan each of your dates and meetings with men carefully. With an already jam-packed schedule combined with the stress of ensuring you’re on time for each date, you’re bound to go a little bit crazy! Pick and choose your dates and schedule them accordingly. If you’re really feeling a certain guy, make sure to set up a date with him before anyone else.
Let’s face it. The first date is a test. Unfortunately, many of us go about it the wrong way by trying to figure out everything our companion is doing wrong to disqualify him instead of looking at everything he’s doing right. Following are the seven most common first date mistakes, based on what my male clients have told me after going on dates with women.
Read more at Essence.com.
A man and woman are sitting to dinner on their first date. He’s chosen a gorgeous restaurant and has an amazing smile. She looks absolutely fly in her new little black dress and he’s told her so once or twice already. SCORE! Flirtatious small talk has ranged from his athleticism to her impossibly deep dimples. Surface stuff? Yes. But it’s setting a cool, comfortable atmosphere and both parties are feeling each other.
Then comes the “Kiss of Death” question which SHOULD allow both people to assess where the friendship/relationship has the potential to go (or not) but more often than not it leads to even thicker masks being painted on.
“So… what do you look for/like in a man/woman?”
Time after time this one seemingly harmless question changes a person’s demeanor and behavior unbeknownst to them.
He says he enjoys women who have a good head on their shoulders, give great conversation, have eclectic taste in music, work out and are into football. As he speaks she’s working her way down her self-check list, mentally checking things off with a smile until the “works out” and “is into football” leaves his lips.
What the what? She’s naturally petite, doesn’t do much more than Pilates and rarely watches football, aside from movies that have something to do with the sport. She hates football. But she doesn’t want to lose this awesome guy. Quick! What does she say?
“I’m really getting into football lately! Go Steelers!” Then she pulls any and every football tidbit she’s ever heard her brothers talk about and tries to arrange them all in a semi-literate way, praying he doesn’t ask too many questions until she can get home and Google everything she can on the sport.
Or the other way around, he asks what she looks for in a man and she gushes about men who enjoy traveling and know their way around the kitchen. He freaks. What can he cook? A bowl of cereal. But what does he say, mesmerized by the gorgeous smile of this woman sitting before him?
“Yeah, I enjoy watching the Food Network to get ideas for new recipes.”
“Oh, you cook?” She asks him with eyes bright.
“I’m somethin’ like a black Emeril Lagasse,” he brags, as he frantically makes a mental note to ask his sister for cooking advice.
We have all done it at some point. So focused on maintaining the interest of the person in front of us that we throw complete honesty out the window. We want to impress. We want to be wanted because, well, we want them; Feigning interest in things we could really care less about and pretending to be pros with things we are total failures at or have never even tried. Then, IF a relationship materializes, we wonder why things start to unravel sooner than later.
I don’t suggest baring your soul from the first conversation, but it is important to remember who you are and to be honest about it from the jump. We forget that some aspects of what we find attractive in others often morph and grow and change as we grow and experience life.
You would be surprised at how often my open disdain for things has created a larger air of interest on behalf of the guy. Instead of shying away because we didn’t share one or two of the same interests, it was now his opportunity to teach me something which could turn itself into a successful second or third date, and who knows after that?
Nowadays I try to avoid asking such a cornered question as “What do you like in a man/woman?” Instead, I just engage. I engage in conversation about any range of topics. I engage in small silly behaviors like singing off-key to a favorite song. I engage in being me in front of him and honestly, even if a relationship never materializes, more often than not, I’ve had some great dates and secured awesome friends. I would rather be my random self than to try to stuff myself into an uncomfortable mold. Because, let’s be honest, many men have no real clue what they “like” until they meet her. Forget what he “likes.” Be you. Whether a relationship materializes or not, he’ll respect it and you’ll know that you’re being appreciated for what YOU actually bring to the table.
La Truly is a late-blooming Aries whose writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and change among young women. Her blog: www.hersoulinc.com and Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly.
So, you are dating a guy, and it’s the crucial first few weeks. You really like this guy, and you are wondering what you can do (or avoid doing) to keep this relationship going and not scare him away.
The truth is there are certain things that women can do that will scare men away everysingle time. Don’t sabotage a potentially great relationship that could have gone somewhere by scaring a man off right at the beginning.
So here are 6 dating behaviors guaranteed to scare men off that all women should avoid:
1. Trash Talking Your Ex. Don’t ever trash an ex boyfriend in front of a guy you’re dating. I don’t care if you’re on your first date or on your fifteenth date with a guy, don’t ever trash talk your ex. Your ex is somebody you dated, invited into your life, and with whom you spent a lot of time. So don’t talk negatively about your ex in any way, because what a guy thinks when you do this is that if he ever becomes your ex that you are going to trash talk him the same way. So, when a man asks you about your ex, the only thing you should say is “We are no longer together. It was a great relationship while it lasted, and I learned a lot.” That’s it.
Read more at YourTango
Zaphesheya After how many dates is a girl expected to pay??? Does a guy take offense if you wipe out your card to pay?
Damon: If you’re familiar with my columns/articles/chats, you’re probably also aware that I’m a bit of a traditionalist in regards to dating and gender roles. Basically, the answers I give in regards to certain expectations may not be the answer you receive from someone you’re dating. There’s no set “man” answer in regards to this question.
That being said, I never “expect” a woman to pay. If I’m making the date plans, then I have the bill. If I can’t cover the bill, I’m either not making date plans or thinking of something a bit more creative. I wouldn’t take offense if she whipped out her card, but I’d ask her to put it away.
Yet, after you’ve established that you both do like each other and may see a relationship in your future, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to cook him dinner or even do something simple he’d enjoy like buy him tickets to a college basketball game or something.
Jasmine: What is with men that try to flirt with you/impress you by belittling what you do? Like they are always trying to see who is bigger, if you will, as if I’m another guy or something. And then they’ll ask me out.
Damon: As much as you say you hate that, for some men, approaching women like that has worked before. What you’re referring to is called “teasing” or “negging.” In smaller doses it’s not a bad thing. But, some men go overboard with it, or can’t tell when they’ve gone from playful to annoying. Perhaps you met one of these men
Mia: I’ve been broken up with a guy for over a year and whenever I run into him, he doesn’t speak and acts like he’s angry with me. Why do guys do that? Our break up was bad but it was all his fault, I did nothing to him.
Damon: The better question is, why do you even care?
Crystal: What happened to having a first date? Is it possible to take a man seriously when he says “let’s meet up” or “let me know once you arrive”?
Damon: We (Men) typically do what they’re allowed to do. If you expect to have actual dates, you’ll have actual dates. If you agree to the “come over and chill” approach, you’ll get that and nothing more.
Nneka: Could a man ever approach you at his job? Say you stopped somewhere everyday for coffee and a guy was a manager at a coffee shop and you both clearly like each other…do you think he would ever initiate anything?
Damon: If he likes you enough, no condition, coffee shop, or crackhead will be enough to keep him away from talking to you.
By Ronnie Ann Ryan
My client Kendra met Mike through an online dating site. The first date went great. Kendra found Mike attractive, a good conversationalist and friendly. She felt comfortable with him and thought he had serious potential.
Mike sent Kendra an email the next day saying he had a nice time. Then, three days later, he emailed Kendra offering to cook dinner for her. This proposition put Kendra in a quandary.
She thought it was sweet that he offered to cook for her, but she didn’t feel comfortable going to his house for the second date. Something about this made her feel nervous, so she emailed me for online dating advice.
“What should I tell Mike?” Kendra asked me. “I’m not ready to go to his house for dinner. What do you think?”
I think Kendra is smart. Her instincts told her not to go because it’s too soon for an intimate dinner. That might be date six or eight depending on who you are. But date two is too soon. I responded to Kendra that I didn’t think she should go. If she did go, she’d probably be “dessert.”
Check out coach Ryan’s advice for how to get out of sticky house date situations on YourTango.com.
*Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.
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Have you ever been on a first or second date with someone and felt like you know their entire life story, good, bad, and indifferent? On the flip side of things, have you ever found out something about a person after the fourth or fifth date and felt slighted that they hadn’t told you sooner? First dates can be somewhat of an awkward experience. You are spending time with a person for the first time, usually in an intimate setting. This is a really perfect time to get to know your new prospective love interest, as well as the time to allow them to get to know you. You want this person to get to know you for who you are, yet you don’t wanna give up too much, too soon. But where is the first date rule book? Who’s to say how much too much is? Here are some things you may or may not want to disclose during the first dates (or second if you’re feeling extra scary), but probably should.
When you’re single, you get set up left and right. Simply the words, “I’m single” get your friends’ and acquaintances’ brains turning with every other single person they know, wondering if you’re a fit. And, since set ups can be exhausting; you have to learn to be just as selective about your matchmakers, as you are about your matches. Before accepting that number or handing yours over to your well-meaning Cupid Hopeful, make sure they actually have what it takes to find you a good match.