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When it comes to the first date, there are all sorts of emotions and thoughts going through your mind. Nervousness and awkwardness aside, you know that you want to make your best first impression, and once that is done and over with, you’ll then have to move onto the talking phase. During the first date, there are definitely topics that you’ll want to cross off the list, but most importantly you’ll want to keep a conversation going to avoid the awkward silent moments. Here are 14 things to consider talking about.

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First dates are typically filled with a flurry of emotions: excitement, anxiety, fear, nervousness, and plenty of others. First dates leave a lot of room for something to go wrong or for there to be tons of awkward moments. With all of this combined, there are definite dos and don’ts when it comes to a first date, namely when it comes to location. There are some places — a lot actually — where you really shouldn’t go on a first date, or else you risk having an unhappy, and really awkward, experience. Here are 14 places to avoid going on a first date.

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From Essence

If I had a nickel for every time I heard a woman say “he has to pay to play,” I would own a professional football team by now. That mindset of entitlement totally baffles me. Shucks, it sounds more like a professional arrangement (wink, wink!) than a woman looking for love.

While I’m still al little old school about certain things, deciding who pays for the date is just not one of them. Frankly, I’m shocked at how many women still hold on to outdated dating traditions while demanding new school relationship status.

Hold on. I can already see you giving me a little side eye right about now, so let me explain. I’m not saying a woman should start paying right out of the gate (unless, of course, you ask him out), but once a man has made his level of interest clear, and has been consistent with his intentions, then it’s time for you to step up. Here are seven reasons why:

1. Because it’s considerate: At least offering to pay shows a guy that you are not “on the take.” If you are thoughtful about his financial situation now, then you will be even more considerate as the relationship progresses. Many men won’t accept the offer, especially not in the beginning, but it’s an honorable gesture. Men like to feel valuable, desired, important, respected and loved.

Check the other six reasons on Essence.com.

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When you’re going out for a first date with someone, it’s easy to feel a bit nervous. Wondering if he’ll like you, if your chemistrys will mesh, if your breath stinks and if you’re wearing the right outfit etc. It can be a bit rough on the ego. So, when you’re getting ready to step out with a new man for the first time, you might need some auditory courage. The following songs should do the trick.

I think I’m ready
Been locked up in the house way too long,
It’s time to get it…

Freakum Dress- Beyonce

Honestly, this whole list could have been compromised of Beyonce anthems; but variety is the spice of life, so we’ll shake it up a bit. But even Bey’s biggest haters would find it hard to deny that she will get you right on the confidence tip. When you’re trying to determine what to wear for your night out, you might not want to go as far as the freakum dress but you certainly want to make sure it’s an outfit, preferably a dress or skirt, that doesn’t show the whole movie but gives him a bit of a preview.

So you’re on a date, things are going fine, and all of a sudden your phone rings and you of course pick it up. Everyone has bad dating habits and some of them can really ruin your chances of having a good date and really impressing the guy that you’re seeing. A lot of the time you do these habits without even knowing that you are, which makes matters even worse! Here are 15 dating habits you need to ditch ASAP.

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Talking a lot about yourself

Some women have a lot to say about themselves and they’re eager to share every little detail. However when on a date, you really want to avoid talking too much about yourself. Give him time to talk talk as well. Even if you’re avoiding silence, try to ask him questions instead of keeping the conversation about you. This will make you come across as being self-absorbed and even a little narcissistic.

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Blind dates can be exciting, but they can also be nerve-wracking and awkward at times. Usually when it comes to a blind date things will either go really well or really bad. However, you do have some control when it comes to moving and keeping the date going in the right direction. Here are tips to ensure that your blind date goes as well as it possibly can.

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From Hello Beautiful

A few months ago I asked, “Why Do Mediocre Men Have Such High Standards?” I was somewhat reminded of this as I caught the second episode of “Tiny Tonight” on VH1. An audience member asked Claudia Jordan and Trina what an ideal first date would be. More interested in cool conversation and a good time, Claudia responded, “I’m pretty much a simple girl. Like, I don’t need all the extravagant things. I kind of want to get to know the person, so a lot of talking. I like going to dinner. I’d even cook dinner for the man; I think that’s kind of fun. We can go bowling. I can see how you react when you lose or when you win. Are you a good sport? And I just like to keep it light and fun, especially for the first date. You don’t really want a lot of pressure.”

Claudia’s co-hostess and rapper Trina, on the other hand, wasn’t as modest with her demands: “I’m more of like a sweep me off my feet type of girl. I just feel like, put me on a private jet; fly me away for a little while. Let’s have dinner, let’s have romantic one-on-one time on a little island, a beach, some sand never hurt anybody. I’m spoiled, like rotten, so I need all of the attention—not some of it.”

Read the rest of this post on HelloBeautiful.com.

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When it comes to the dating scene, you’ll find that there are certain guys you hit it off with right away, and then there are those dates that you’d love to just erase from your mind completely. Let’s say you’ve gone on this one date recently and you’re completely stuck as to what to do next. You like him but you aren’t sure if he’s worth a second date or if it’s best to just move on to another guy. Here are 14 behaviors to check for if you’re trying to figure out if you two should have another go ’round.

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One of the most asked questions in dating, behind why didn’t he call me, is perhaps, why didn’t he ask me out on a second date? If you subscribe to the “he’s just not that into you” school of thought then you basically already have your answer, but have you ever wondered why he wasn’t that into you? It might have something to do with any combination of these first date behaviors.

A man and woman are sitting to dinner on their first date. He’s chosen a gorgeous restaurant and has an amazing smile. She looks absolutely fly in her new little black dress and he’s told her so once or twice already. SCORE! Flirtatious small talk has ranged from his athleticism to her impossibly deep dimples. Surface stuff? Yes. But it’s setting a cool, comfortable atmosphere and both parties are feeling each other.

Then comes the “Kiss of Death” question which SHOULD allow both people to assess where the friendship/relationship has the potential to go (or not) but more often than not it leads to even thicker masks being painted on.

“So… what do you look for/like in a man/woman?”

Time after time this one seemingly harmless question changes a person’s demeanor and behavior unbeknownst to them.

He says he enjoys women who have a good head on their shoulders, give great conversation, have eclectic taste in music, work out and are into football. As he speaks she’s working her way down her self-check list, mentally checking things off with a smile until the “works out” and “is into football” leaves his lips.

What the what? She’s naturally petite, doesn’t do much more than Pilates and rarely watches football, aside from movies that have something to do with the sport. She hates football. But she doesn’t want to lose this awesome guy. Quick! What does she say?

“I’m really getting into football lately! Go Steelers!” Then she pulls any and every football tidbit she’s ever heard her brothers talk about and tries to arrange them all in a semi-literate way, praying he doesn’t ask too many questions until she can get home and Google everything she can on the sport.

Or the other way around, he asks what she looks for in a man and she gushes about men who enjoy traveling and know their way around the kitchen. He freaks. What can he cook? A bowl of cereal. But what does he say, mesmerized by the gorgeous smile of this woman sitting before him?

“Yeah, I enjoy watching the Food Network to get ideas for new recipes.”

“Oh, you cook?” She asks him with eyes bright.

“I’m somethin’ like a black Emeril Lagasse,” he brags, as he frantically makes a mental note to ask his sister for cooking advice.

We have all done it at some point. So focused on maintaining the interest of the person in front of us that we throw complete honesty out the window. We want to impress. We want to be wanted because, well, we want them; Feigning interest in things we could really care less about and pretending to be pros with things we are total failures at or have never even tried. Then, IF a relationship materializes, we wonder why things start to unravel sooner than later.

I don’t suggest baring your soul from the first conversation, but it is important to remember who you are and to be honest about it from the jump. We forget that some aspects of what we find attractive in others often morph and grow and change as we grow and experience life.

You would be surprised at how often my open disdain for things has created a larger air of interest on behalf of the guy. Instead of shying away because we didn’t share one or two of the same interests, it was now his opportunity to teach me something which could turn itself into a successful second or third date, and who knows after that?

Nowadays I try to avoid asking such a cornered question as “What do you like in a man/woman?” Instead, I just engage. I engage in conversation about any range of topics. I engage in small silly behaviors like singing off-key to a favorite song. I engage in being me in front of him and honestly, even if a relationship never materializes, more often than not, I’ve had some great dates and secured awesome friends. I would rather be my random self than to try to stuff myself into an uncomfortable mold. Because, let’s be honest, many men have no real clue what they “like” until they meet her. Forget what he “likes.” Be you. Whether a relationship materializes or not, he’ll respect it and you’ll know that you’re being appreciated for what YOU actually bring to the table.

La Truly is a late-blooming Aries whose writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and change among young women. Her blog: www.hersoulinc.com and Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly.