All Articles Tagged "feminine"

10 Things Gay Isn’t: Common Assumptions People Make About Homosexuality

November 19th, 2012 - By Toya Sharee
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I’m not a gay man and I can’t pretend to speak on their behalf, but I have plenty of gay friends to know they aren’t all flaming, finger-snapping, neck-rolling stereotypes.  I may not completely understand being sexually attracted to the same sex personally, but I sure as hell know what gay ISN’T.

When the headline “Kevin Clash Gay, But Not Molestor: Accuser Recants Statement” hit the internet earlier this week, there was a part of me that was a mess of confusion and disappointment.  More so than being disgusted at the allegations made against the popular Elmo puppeteer, I was also jaded at the excitement the media seems to get off of including the word “gay” and “sexual predator” in the same sentence.  It reminds me of popular stereotypes in which gay men instantly get labeled as child molesters  or even use of the common disclaimer “No homo” when a man compliments another man’s appearance.  It’s not to say that there aren’t homosexual child molesters, but gay isn’t some kind of season pass to a world of promiscuous sex, leather chaps and deviant behavior.  Gay can mean a lot of things to a lot of people, but listed below are a few things that it just isn’t:

Jason Wu for Target Filled with Dainty Designs – View the Complete Collection

January 11th, 2012 - By Loren Lee
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"Jason Wu and One of His Dresses for Target"The hype for Versace for H&M has finally died down. This can only mean one thing. It’s time for a new fashion collaboration! Enter, Jason Wu for Target!

Teaser images of the collection surfaced last week, but the ENTIRE Jason Wu for Target collection was released on Tuesday. Mr. Wu (designer of Michelle Obama’s inaugural gown) has created pieces inspired by the femininity found in French new wave films. This inspiration can be seen in the details of the garments – chic separates, bows, aline skirts and nautical stripes galore!

“My goal was not to duplicate anything from my main collection,” Wu explains to T Magazine“Instead I designed completely new clothes and accessories that reflect my taste and have a voice of their own.”

As a bonus, the price is oh-so right for this dainty collection with nothing priced over $60! You’ll find Jason Wu for Target in stores starting February 5, 2012. We recommend developing a game plan now because these collaborations have been known to start cat fights over couture!

Check out the entire collection below:


"Jason Wu for Target"

"Jason Wu for Target"

"Jason Wu for Target"

"Jason Wu for Target"

"Jason Wu for Target"


Are you planning on snatching up a piece of the collection? Or, are you over all these collaborations?

Photos via

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Man Up: 11 Typically Masculine Things that Every Woman Should Know How to Do

November 30th, 2011 - By Toya Sharee
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"black woman boxing"

Even the most liberal limb of me has to admit that there are some great perks associated with being a woman, and even more when you’re a woman with a man.  If I haven’t offended you yet, allow me to explain.  While I still encourage independence, self- sufficiency and to be treated as equals, double-standards don’t bother me nearly as much when I am on the side of the freeway looking at my car do the “shoulder-lean” as the air slowly deflates from my tire.   I surely don’t mind being a damsel in distress when I see a spider that has basically seized my entryway with his web basically making me a prisoner in my own home.
Like the show tune says, “I enjoy being a girl.”

At the same time, when the going gets rough and you find yourself without a guy to get going, sometimes you have to “man-up” and take care of business.  It’s these times when you have to toss your fragile femininity on the shelf and get down and dirty.  After mastering the following situations, you may even be able to teach these pretty boys a thing or two:

Feminism Fallout: Has Our Ascension Made for Less Manly Men?

November 15th, 2011 - By Christelyn Karazin
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Don’t we just love to romanticize the old days? I mean, just look at today’s hit shows: for instance, think of Mad Men and the very far second best and now defunct Pan Am. The women are presented to us so dainty, well-coiffed, demure and oh-so-subtly Hot; the men, Ken doll handsome, large and in charge, playboys, but with a heart of gold. Look beneath the nostalgia and you’ll find those seemingly perfect women drinking themselves down a bottle of wine alone at home, or claustrophobic from the confines of her station at work, while the husbands (at least the successful ones) have three-hour lunches laced with Smirnoff Premium Vodka. When they finally stagger home after feeling up (and possibly boinking) the secretary, they pat their children on the head, and then maybe pound the wife in the head.

So make no mistake; I hold no illusions about what used to be when I say that, while I cheer for the accomplishments of women, a little part of me mourns the death of the well-chiseled man–remember him? The one who’d slay dragons for the princess; the guy who held the door and threw his raincoat over a puddle so your feet would stay dry, the dude who would rather swallow his own tongue before he asked, “Can we go half?” on a first date, which he initiated.

Le sigh. In an attempt to get men to “get in touch with their feminine side,” many have languished there a bit too long, and now we’re switching roles like never before: more women are enrolled in universities than men. Boys are dropping out of high school like flies in a room full of Raid. Innumerable awkward pauses fill the air as women and men struggle for who should open the door to building these days, while some men don’t even bother. Seats aren’t offered, and more women are starting to propose to men. Men now get manicures and pedicures, and some even get their eyebrows threaded.

Women–not just black women–are bemoaning the lack of good, marriageable men who want to settle into the husband and daddy roles, but with no more societal pressure to commit, why would they bother?  One psychologist and author squarely blames the Women’s Liberation Movement on the reason for all the namby-pamby man-children more Madames encounter these days.

“In other words, the very changes that helped to bring men and women closer together are simultaneously tearing them apart,” says Steven Carter in his book, Men Who Can’t Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart. 

How on earth could this be? I mean, why would a woman’s ability to leave the kitchen and secretary pool to become head chef and the CEO be cause for men to be so squeamish? “Back in the ‘good old days’ it was bad form for a young man to remain single for too long. With some exceptions, the bachelor’s lifestyle was not a coveted one,” Carter says. Nowadays, it’s the preferred way of doing things.

Carter argues that the Women’s Liberation Movement, the sexual revolution, and all the non-committal sex that goes along with that has had some unintended consequences, because 40 years ago, “the louder the body screamed for fulfillment, the more one found oneself being propelled down the only legitimate road that would silence those screams.”

Bottom line: less has been expected from men, while more has been expected from women. Marry for sex, work three jobs, open a door, pay for a date, or throw their rain coats over puddles. And this is becoming more what more women are doing these days, not men (aside from the ladder of course, can’t mess up a good raincoat).

Ah…it would be so much easier if we ladies could have our cake and eat it…

Christelyn D. Karazin is the co-author of “Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race, Culture and Creed” (to be released April 2012), and runs a blog,, dedicated to women of color who are interested and or involved in interracial and intercultural relationships. She is also the founder and organizer of “No Wedding, No Womb,” an initiative to find solutions to the 72 percent out-of-wedlock rate in the black community.

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