All Articles Tagged "fatherhood"
I think having issues gets a bad rap. Sure, the experiences that cause said afflictions usually aren’t positive and can even be traumatic. However, we all have emotional baggage and when dealt with properly it can be define our lives in a positive way.
One of the keys to my heart is having some semblance of emotional baggage. As a man I think it appeals to the part of me that is a provider and a caretaker. I like to think of the past as segues to the rest of our lives. When dealt with properly, it is a sign of maturity. It means that they are more apt with decision making, picks and chooses battles, and knows how to let go of the emotional aspects of adverse experiences all while holding onto the lesson. Most of their outlook on life and love isn’t from an ideal place. Even if virtually all of their romantic experiences have been dismaying, the mindset when it comes to love and their future is based on application. Developing a relationship isn’t based on just throwing things up against a wall and seeing what sticks because they know who they are. That is sexy to me…
Sometimes baggage can make us a little more guarded; but that is only for those who do not own it. People see it as something that they can get rid of. You can’t erase what has happened. It becomes a part of you. It is locked into you emotional memory and only can become debilitating when one has not accepted this.
Yes, it may be easier said than done; but owning one’s past-good, bad, or indifferent-is freeing but is a process. It’s an exercise. The best way that I can explain this is by giving my own transformation story. My daughter’s mother passed away from esophageal cancer. She had a very difficult time ingesting food and I would find myself buying her food from multiple places just hoping she could eat one. Being that we were poor I didn’t want to waste food so I’d eat them all. At 6’1” I had ballooned up to 255lbs.
After she passed away, I made a choice to be different. I took an old book bag and put water-filled liquor bottles into it. The bag weighed somewhere between fifty to seventy pounds. I simple wore the bag all day. It was heavy as all hell at first and very difficult to move around. It hurt my back and I could feel the burn in my legs and core as well. However, I do know that the “burn” associated with exercise is one’s muscles tearing and repairing themselves that makes them stronger. I would take my daughter Cydney for walks in her stroller a good two miles a day. Slowly but surely, I didn’t even realize the bag was on my back. It had become an extension of me and I would add more weight to it. Eventually I moved onto other exercises and experiences; but this was the catalyst to do so. I’d dropped down to 185lbs and eventually gained an extra 30lbs of muscle. I’m healthier, stronger, able to take on more weight, and I can help others do the same.
I use this metaphor because it is a parallel of how to view one’s negative experiences from past relationships. They are crushing, can be extremely burdensome, and feel like it is impossible to move on from. Make a choice and follow through with it. After grieving, moving on usually starts off with being in some kind of survival mode. That can be anything from retreating to denial or even indulging in one’s vice a little bit. Not always healthy; but sometimes in order to survive an animal has to chew a leg off to get out of a trap. You take things one day at a time. Trying to move around with this burdensome hurt can seem futile and even impossible some days. In time you won’t even notice it’s there.
When it comes to gay black dads you won’t find a more famous couple than Kaleb and Kordale who won our hearts a few years ago when a picture of them combing their daughters’ hair went viral. In no time, Nikon swooped them up for an ad campaign featuring them and their three kids in a video just living their daily lives, and their instagram exploded with followers. Just when it seemed like things could get no better, they broke up, sending many of their fans into therapy. Kaleb posted an instagram message that eluded to the fact that Kordale may have been unfaithful- say it ain’t so!- and then like a page out of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, they got back together, and to speed things up, now everything is fine and they’re expecting baby number five via a surrogate in the fall. Talk about drama.
While I love when couples work things out, especially when kids are involved, I have to bring up the elephant in the room.
Here are two very popular gay men living in Atlanta, the Black gay capital of the world, with what we strongly speculate to be a history of infidelity. What are the chances that they’re going to stay monogamous? And it’s not that they’re gay that makes me question how faithful they can be, it’s that they’re men. If we accept that men and women are wired differently and men have a harder time being with one person, I’m thinking this family might not make it past sundown and what about the future of those kids?
Curious to get an outside, or perhaps, inside view, I discuss it with Jamal, a gay friend in his 30’s.
He says, “If two people want to be together they will find a way. If they are TRULY committed to each other Big City temptations and social media shouldn’t play a role at all. It’s about the strength of the bond they’ve created. It’s a no brainer to me.”
Devon, another gay friend in his late 40’s isn’t as optimistic.
“Unfortunately,” he says, “the gay culture, especially the young ones, tend not to be monogamous. I choose to be exclusive because I’m not trying to be out there catching any diseases.”
I am a pretty laid back person and I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to criticism. Hell, even moments where I am “in my feelings” only last a few minutes; it takes a lot to get me angry. With all of that said, there is one thing that annoys me almost more than anything else on the planet: people without children giving me parenting advice.
Yes, more than the sound of nails on a chalkboard, sitting in heavy traffic because people are rubbernecking at a car accident, and more than when people say “fustrate” and “conversate.”
There’s just something about people without children giving me parenting advice that drive me up the wall. When someone who hasn’t procreated responds to “You should (insert counsel here),” it takes almost every fiber of my being to respond with a phrase that rhymes with “What the truck cup.”
I am aware that, for the most part, people mean well and aren’t passing judgment. However, I feel as if this is one of the very few arenas in which everyone feels as if they are experts and they have no experience. There is no manual on how to raise a child, everyone comes from a parent, and were raised by someone. How one was raised and how one actually raises their children are very different.
For starters, there is something in a person that changes when they become a parent.
One could love and have played a major role in being a parent figure in a child’s life; but it’s just different. You see the world differently. Self becomes secondary not because one decides to; it’s instinct. There are many things my parents said or did that I didn’t understand-even as an adult-but once I had my daughter made sense. If-or when-I have a second child, I would do things very differently because no matter how many books one reads, siblings they have, or what have you, is an on-the-job kind of thing.
Many times non-parents respond to things by saying “My friend who has kids,” or some variance of that statement. Nope, try again.
What your friends or whatever would do is very different from what you would do. Their collective experiences, applicable knowledge, and paradigm is different. Everything a non-parent says is speculative. I can think of so many things I have said before my daughter that I would never do that I do now. “Why are you paying so much money for tuition for a four year old that you can barely afford?” Because she’s in a very good school and I feel it’s a worthy investment in my kid. “But my friend doesn’t.” Maybe this is something that means a little bit more to me than them. Maybe because I grew up in a family full of teachers so that shaped the way I see schools. Maybe said upbringing has determined how I looked at the teachers in that school and I think they can being the best out of my child who has a unique temperament.
I think that in my circumstance because I am a single father I get it a lot.
I think part of the stigma about how fathers do things a little differently than mothers do comes into play. I do many things in a manner that’s a little unconventional because the circumstances in which I became a single parent are unusual and I swear on everything I love I think my daughter has been here before. Yes, I don’t try to be a mother to my daughter because I can’t. However, I am still nurturing to her. Most people see mothers as just being nurturers and fathers as kind of bumbling fools who protect and just do a lot of the fun stuff. It is almost astounding how many of my women friends don’t believe that I am quite a disciplinarian with my daughter.
I think I am a damn good father; I can’t think of too many people who would say otherwise. But I don’t think that I’m perfect, either. I am pretty sure I mess up from time to time and there are things that I do as a parent that will cause some kind of complex within my daughter. Every parent does this.
Nonetheless, more than likely I–or most parents–know they have that one or two thing that is a breaking point. Mine is music. I was raised by a musician and that will always be my first love and passion. I have learned how to ignore Disney and Nick Jr. shows that play over and over again. But I can’t STAND stuff like Kidz Bop. I think it’s corny and most of that stuff just makes my insides cringe. For the most part, I have found some semblance of balance in this. I am very careful of what Cydney listens to and what she repeats (In fact, nine out of 10 times, she knows what she should and shouldn’t repeat on her own).
I don’t listen to anything referring to drugs or sexual around her. But I love hip hop and I love that my kid does too. With all of that said, since I am with my child with not much relief, there are but so many times I can hear her music over and over in the car that I am driving us somewhere before I lose it. So guess what? I’m gonna turn on the radio and Cydney is gonna listen to the latest Fetty Wap song three or four times for the sake of my sanity. If she asks me what does something mean I will answer it and if it is particularly funny I will laugh to myself or out loud if I deem appropriate to do so.
If I post something on social media or tell a story to my non-parent friends and they say: “You shouldn’t do that,” I want them all to know I am thinking: “Shut up. You’ve never had a kid you can’t drop off.”
I would be a lot more receptive to the opinions of people without children if they started off their statements with: “I think.” I’m a stickler for language, so changing one’s vocabulary does change the context. “I think” insinuates that your opinion is speculative and “You should” is authoritative. It makes a world of a difference.
…I just needed to vent.
It was three years ago that Lieutenant Commander in the Navy, Bashon Mann, found himself approaching his 40 birthday and feeling completely lost. He was a recently divorced father of two girls, ages six and nine, and he knew that he wanted to be present for them, but he wasn’t sure how. It was a real question for him because divorce was never in his plans. His own parents were still together and living in the same house that he grew up in.
Around the same time, he noticed that his Facebook friends were doing fun things to commemorate their 40th birthdays. Things like: “40 of my best friends” or “40 days of no meat.” Mann got the idea to do something creative that would incorporate his girls. He would write them 40 letters in 40 days. Each letter would focus on a lesson he learned from his life. Hopefully, it could serve as a guide for them when they got older.
Mann began writing the letters and sharing them on Facebook and a funny thing happened. People started following. “It was a shock to me because these were just experiences from my life. I didn’t expect people to be that interested,” Mann says.
Ironically, the positive feedback gave him the confidence to dig deeper, and he became more expressive. The letters, which started out entertaining, began taking on a more serious tone. He was writing about topics he wanted to cover with his girls–like the time he got in front of the church to sing a solo, but forgot the words, as well as what he learned from lying to his family and friends to cover up his failures–but he was also chiming in on current events that he couldn’t ignore, like the murder of Trayvon Martin. No matter the topic, people couldn’t wait for the next letter. All of this would become his book, Daddy’s Love Notes.
One day, he was leaving a military conference and a co-worker came up to him and grabbed his arm. “I need to speak to you,” she said. “I just want to thank you for writing those letters. They changed my life.”
Read the full story here.
Our human ability to cast judgement on others will never cease to amaze me. All of us are guilty of pointing fingers or “sipping the tea” from someone else’s life.
My husband works at home but is not your typical stay-at-home dad. Thanks to modern technology and a little thing called telecommuting, he’s able to work from his home office full-time in a different state from his company’s physical location. This has afforded our growing family (we have two son’s under two-years-old) the opportunity to live in a state that has a lower cost of living.
Whenever the topic of jobs come up, it’s always interesting to hear the responses. People know my man is an engineer but are puzzled as to how he can work from home so much–and why he thinks it’s okay to do so. I guess all men are suppose to be outside of the home during the day to prove their manliness? The funny thing is his guy friends think it’s the coolest setup, though they can’t seem to understand it involves working and not playing video games all day.
If you talk to my husband, he’s very proud to be a work-from-home daddy as it gives him additional time to spend (and bond) with his son. Sure we both get busy throughout the day (I work from home, too), but our situation is so perfect as we can both do what we love without paying for childcare. I wouldn’t change it for the world and look at him with such pride.
Those who raise an eyebrow to my husband being home “graciously” give him a pass once they figure out he works. This of course opens up a new discussion about the dynamics of today’s modern family and how things are changing. Men can be men and stay at home with their children. A very good friend of mine and her family are a great example of this. She works full-time while her husband takes care of the house, and their three children’s daily hobbies and school responsibilities. He also takes here-and-there jobs on the side to help bring in additional income if needed.
Parents who make the choice to stay at home is a decision between those individuals–and shouldn’t receive judgement from outsiders. At the end of the day, no one knows their finances, how much they save and other dynamics about their household. If it works for them, let it work for them.
I find it interesting how women fight so hard to remove gender-based stereotypes, but yet, will oftentimes be the one to point the finger at a man if he doesn’t fulfill a certain image.
As many before us have said, there is no handbook to parenting. We’ve been taught that parenting is one of the most rewarding lifetime gigs you see no monetary gains from, a life-changing experience no one is prepared for or mastered and is also unique to every individual. After years of having worked with a variety of personality types and parenting styles, I noticed something interesting. As time progressed the answers to many of my parenting questions became gender specific. For example, it went from, “I have toddler at home who won’t be still” to “Ugh, I don’t want see another Iron Man toy for the rest of my life” to “Good, Lord! Boys are so weird! His mood swings are killing me slow.” And finally, “My, God. My son is growing into a smelly, scrotum-adjusting, Sports Center junkie who eats up all my snacks and farts on command. What the hell happened? Where’s my little boy who loved Iron Man?”
As a mother, the reality of your son growing into a adult who will eventually be someone’s husband and father becomes clear. You start to wonder what kind of future you’ve had a major hand in shaping for generations to come. With careful reflection, I can’t help but evaluate what I’ve learned about men as a gender while raising a boy. And surely, the same goes for fathers and daughters, right?
So for this particular story, we talked to fathers of young daughters to get an idea of what they’ve learned about women while raising their baby girls … and we started in our very own office!
MadameNoire fam, meet Chad Milner. Immediately after the untimely death of his daughter’s mother, Chad took on the daily duties of raising his daughter, Cydney, solo. You can hear his smile and feel his fulfillment when he speaks about his many adventures with “Cyd” who is now a preschooler. Without a doubt, it’s safe to assume he wouldn’t trade his life as a single father for the world.
Take a look at what he–and a few other dads–have to say about their learning experience since raising daughters.
Essentially, before my daughter was born, I lived my life like this: I want as little karma as possible to come my way because I feel like I’m going to have a daughter. Unfortunately, I’ve made some d**khead moves and broken a couple hearts along the way and I had to chalk it to the game. But now, having a daughter, one of the things I’m really keen on is this: anybody that I’m seeing, I want to treat them the way I want my daughter treated. Whether it’s one date or a lifetime, it’s something I really try to do. That’s probably why I attract women who are daddy’s girls. I typically date women who have incredibly tight relationships with their father but, then again, I guess you attract what you are. To add to that, Dad is a girl’s first love – so for me, knowing that my daughter will grow up and start dating, I need her to know what to look for in a man by showing her myself. And just a word of advice to single fathers: if you have a little girl, figure it out! If you need to learn how to braid hair, figure it out. If you need to learn to cook, there’s YouTube for that. And you know what? That’s what kids are for, they soften you up and make you stronger at the same time. And I have to remember, as much as you’re raising them, they’re also raising you. – Chad Milner – MadameNoire Contributor and single father
What have I learned about women raising my daughters? That’s a good question. It’s the little things. I’ll give you the prefect example. We bought my daughter a bike for her birthday this summer, she just turned four. It was pink and had the little trainers and streamers with sparkles on it and, of course, we had to get her a helmet. So, before we gave her the bike, I doodled a little character on her helmet and signed it. My wife said it was corny and that I shouldn’t mark up her brand new helmet but I said, ‘Whatever.’ So she sees the bike and got on it and when we went to put the helmet on her, she sees my little drawing and she was like “Daddy, you did drew that?” and her eyes lit up and she carried that helmet under her arm for the entire party and was running around telling everybody I “drawed” on her helmet. She was so happy to share something so simple, not the bike. That’s really what made me realize it’s the little things. It’s the thought that counts. – Jermaine, 42, father of three
I’ve learned that in order to make a woman happy, as a man, you have to be patient. My baby girl is only 16 months old and she’s way more advanced than my son was at her age. She’s walking, talking and more than anything, doing really well at expressing what she wants, and she knows how to get it – from me and her mom. For me, she’ll point and lean towards something and we’ll talk our way to the register. For her mom, she’ll whine and throw a fit until she gets her way. It’s funny. But to get back to the patience part, I’ve learned that women are emotional to point where you can’t take it personally, they’re just emotional. She gets mad at me and will twist her face, fold her arms, stomp and be genuinely irritated with me, then two minutes later comes over and gives me a hug and acts like nothing happened. I’m like, wow! That’s how y’all do it, huh? So I’ve learned that as long as a woman has what she wants, she’s content. It’s that simple. And I’ve learned, through my daughter, that they really don’t want much. Love, affection, attention and mutual respect – it’s really that simple. I would’ve saved myself from so much drama if I had learned that sooner. – Charles, 33, father of two
How you love her is going to determine what she calls love as an adult. I learned this to be true with my ex-wife. I still love her dearly. I had both my kids with her and we really fought the good one for some years to try and keep the family together, but it came to a point where I had to realize that loving her was killing me. I’d do anything for that woman and for a long time I thought that love could change a person and make them whole…it just doesn’t. Her relationship with her father until the day he died was awful. He was abusive to her and her mother and brother and she always talked about how rejected she felt by him. Let me say this – throughout our marriage, if I felt just a little bit of the rejection she felt growing up then she felt pretty s****y for a really long time and that’s no way to live. She never made peace with her father and I really believe that if they had made amends and tried to work out their differences, both of their lives would’ve been different. Heck, my life would be different! I just couldn’t convince her that she was deserving of love from an honest man like myself and it destroyed us. Like the other day, I was painting my nine-year-old daughter’s toenails at the house when she came to pick the kids up and she finally let me paint hers. After all these years, she finally let me make a loving gesture towards her without suspicion and it took 15 years. I could go on and on but if you don’t love you daughter, she won’t know it when it’s real. She won’t know how to accept and return it either. – Samuel, 41, father of two
A few days ago, my daughter comes up to me and says, “You’re my best friend!” I was startled at the statement. My mental knee jerked and I responded, “I’m not your friend. I’m your father.” I could immediately see her energy deflate a bit. It got me thinking: “Did I make a mistake?”
So, let me explain a few things.
As a parent, I am part new-school and part old-school. The old-school part clearly comes from my father and mother, who were traditionalists. I heard things like, “Don’t talk back,” “Get a switch,” and communication was mostly a one-way street. I’m a bit different. I am still into my hip-hop, love comic books and movies, and can even dap. My daughter and I talk about everything from Kanye West as a Kardashian to Marcus Garvey’s theories to binge watching the Star Wars saga. At times, we dance in the house until we are out of breath. Shoot, we recently pulled up some instrumentals on Spotify and freestyled after dinner. Then I told her to go finish her homework.
Now, I know there has to be a clear line between parent and so-called “friend,” but I’m still pondering.
Best friends tend to be honest with each other. They communicate. They work out their issues. They have fun and they laugh a lot. Parents can be bummers. They make you clean your room and do the dishes. Kids, as they ease into adulthood, tend to lie to their parents. They hide a lot. They fumble through their teen years with their peers a accomplices. Furthermore, I have noticed that the mother/daughter dynamic often results in a closer relationship. (This has a lot to do with the “Black don’t crack theory.)
I have to conclude that we can be a hybrid, but we cannot truly be friends. I cannot tell my daughter my true feelings about certain family members. I certainly didn’t realize such and such was was a bum until I was older. My daughter does not make the decisions in the house. We often talk about how we move, but ultimately I make the decisions. Pulling rank is particularly important with matters of money (LOL!). Parents and friends see life much differently. I’m getting my daughter ready for the world, and that’s not going to happen being a friend.
A wise person once said, “You aren’t a good parent if you child never says ‘I hate you’ at least once. While I never want to hear those words, I am prepared.
I once whispered those words in a way that was never heard from another living soul. (I’d get a whuppin!) My daughter is still a preteen and has not yet fully exerted her individualism. I know that is on the way and it will be far more difficult to be “besties.” Recently, in a freestyle rap, she said it again. I didn’t correct her this time. I just busted a rap and let the iPad record the whole thing. We laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.
Being friends isn’t so bad. Being a father is a gift.
Just know there are boundaries and times when separation is parenting. For the other times, we can rock matching Tim boots and trade battle raps until her true best friend Daniella takes over.
So parents, am I wrong for telling my kid we aren’t friends?
On the radio, Charlemagne can be a jerk. He has to be entertaining and say what most of us are thinking and he has to keep the people coming back for more. And he does his job well. And despite the fact that he’s known to make celebrities feel like they’re just not “it,” he does have a softer side. This other side will occasionally make an appearance. Like when he told Musiq Soulchild he used to rock his daughter to sleep to his song “Love,” while simultaneously telling him that his new alter ego”The Husel” was a terrible mistake.
In a recent interview with XO Necole, the 35-year-old radio personality opened up about the people who make him the mushiest. His high school sweetheart turned wife and two daughters, one seven years old and the other four months old.
Check out a few of the highlights below.
What will you tell your daughters about love, relationships and knowing their worth?
You have to show your kids love. That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to get married. Me and the mother of my kids have been together since high school. When you have your seven-year-old daughter asking why you and mommy don’t have the same last name, that affects you as a man. It made me think, ‘Well, why don’t we? What’s stopping me from taking that next step?’
Love is something you have to witness. It’s good to see two parents living in the house, embracing each other, laughing and talking; you have to lead by example.
She also understands the value of a dollar, and how hard her parents work to provide the life she has. At seven-years-old, she’s sassy. She already has plans and goals and things that she wants to accomplish, and I’m not going to let anyone take that from her. I’m going to let her be a strong as she wants; I’m not going to let her be submissive to anyone. You have to really empower your children and teach them that they’re bosses, kings, queens and goddesses.
I’ve always said having two girls is “The Player’s Curse.” Whenever you’ve broken a lot of hearts in your life or you’ve treated women a certain way, God will give you women to raise. Everyone says it’s a blessing, I believe that, but I also believe it’s a little bit of karma because it makes me think about how I deal with women. The way I treat any woman is how I would want someone to treat my daughters. I already know someone is gonna read this and say, “look what you did to Lil Mama” (referring to the infamous July 2011 interview on The Breakfast Club where he made the rapper and actress cry). First of all that was five years ago, and my daughters will be well equipped to snap back at jokes better than Lil Mama.
Why he’s decided to keep his wife and children off of social media?
First of all, I’m not raising my kids via social media. I never felt like that was a place for my family to be. I don’t knock anyone who does it, but I don’t want my family on Facebook or Twitter. That’s something I chose not to do. Some of my homies have told me that they wish they would have listened to me and not put their kids on social media because now when they’re out in the streets, strangers recognize their kids. We live in a creepy world where people want to take photos with celebrities family members and that doesn’t make sense to me. I see girls taking pics with Drake’s father and that’s just weird to me.
And then, shifting directions, he spoke about his former relationship with Wendy Williams and how she gave him his big break.
I came from South Carolina to New York and worked for Wendy Williams for free for a year. Wendy and her husband told me they couldn’t pay me, but they gave me a place to stay. You tell me how many kids nowadays would recognize opportunity if there wasn’t a paycheck attached to it. I recognized the opportunity to do something I loved to do on a large scale and I took it.
Growing up I was always a radio junkie. As a kid I would turn on the local radio station’s “Top 9 at 9” I always knew who all of the radio jocks were and I would take my cassette tapes and record different songs on the radio. Initially, I wanted to rap because that’s every guy in the hood’s dream. You have to understand that a young black man just wants to be successful and when we see other people that look like us that are well off, they’re usually in entertainment or playing sports so I wanted to do that.
I have a tattoo of Wolverine holding a microphone on my arm because I thought I was going to be a rapper, but I didn’t realize that mic symbolized my radio career. I didn’t have any formal training, but I wasn’t doing what everyone else did cause. I used to sit back and wonder why radio personalities weren’t asking the most obvious questions or really giving their opinions on the music or the artists. I always wondered why they didn’t sound human. So if you ask me what my talent is, I would say the gift of gab. But I hate that people think this is so easy. I’ll go online and I’ll see someone say that such and such is “the next C. The God” and automatically I assume that they do radio, but I check them out and they’re just tweeting! That’s just words! Get on the mic and let’s see if you can speak well enough to make people gravitate towards you. Keeping someone entertained for four hours is difficult. Wendy Williams has a gift–she can literally turn the mic on and talk for four hours straight, she doesn’t need a co-host or anyone else in the room; she can just find things to talk about and that’s hard to do, I’m still perfecting that. We’ve brought interns in the room on The Breakfast Club and we’ve had them read Angela Yee’s “Rumor Report,” and they sound terrible! Then they realize how hard it is to convey their thoughts to millions of people.
Check out Charlemagne’s article where he discusses being fired four times throughout his career and the lessons he’s learned from those experience, in the rest of the interview.
From Barack Obama’s “dad jokes” to Iman Shumpert’s surprise home delivery, these famous fathers proved that celebrity dads won 2015.
By Chuck Creekmur
50 Cent and Shaniqua Tompkins are probably never going to be cordial, much less co-parent. I don’t believe I have ever witnessed a clashing of parents that has played out so publicly with so much vitriol. They have been at odds over their son Marquise Jackson for quite some time and now 50 has absolutely nothing to do with his first born. However, he must be on his mind, because he posted a picture on Instagram of himself with a younger Marquise.
50 Cent is one of the biggest, baddest names in hip-hop, but I cannot fathom having such a relationship with my first born. Especially a son. Now, I know he’s got another son – and he set out to do just that – but there is nothing like your first born. As I alluded to, it would seem like 50 wants a relationship with his kid, but doesn’t quite know how to forge it after all that’s been said and done over the years. Shaniqua is the real object of his scorn, even though he’s said some nasty things to the kid. My advice? Counseling. It can help if the parties are willing to go through the process of healing. The only thing is, these are deep wounds and Shaniqua wasn’t having it on social media.
When he posted the picture, Shaniqua went ballistic in a post of epic proportions. Then, 50 Cent took the whole image down. But nothing is ever really deleted on the internet, right?
That didn’t stop anything, because Shaniqua’s #clapback was sent directly to us. Here it is below:
When you post something and delete it shows how much Of a coward you are !! @50cent I know you and know your tactics! I appreciate it ,because the judge will get to see how much of a bully you are. Take accountability for your actions! You don’t have a relationship with my child because you choose not to, you want to bully him, threaten him and talk about his mother in a disparaging manner. I don’t try to mentally abuse my son like you do! I don’t talk about you, your actions speaks themselves. Who threatens to shoot their son on Instagram ? I don’t have to talk about you, again your actions speaks for themselves !Bitter? About what ? I left you!!! I know longer wanted a relationship with you! You’re a fraud and you’re upset I know it ! You created this fictitious character and you try to discredit me because I know the real! I know you made up you got shot 9 times and it was actually 5 because you didn’t want to be compared to Tupac! Remember I was there! I went with you to the police percent to get an order of protection out if Ja Rule, irvGotti and his brother Chris . So please stop! I know you are jealous because, Marquise has a mother that actually cares and loves him and you never had that. You always lived with your Grandparents even when your Mom was alive! I’m not one to ruin someones grandiose idea of themselves but keep my name out your mouth! I will keep posting Boo vs. 50 cent facts I have receipts! #CB4 you are not God, maybe to others but not me!!!
Marquise seems to be handling all the drama well. He has been doing the rounds on various red carpets and doesn’t seem too concerned with how many times his daddy got shot. He is working on music and hopes to act. However, it does seem interesting that some of the legend 50 has owned for so long may have some more facts to it from somebody that was there, right? Comparing 50 to the Chris Rock movie CB4 is a strong, potentially damning statement from somebody that was there from the start.
For the record, AllHipHop.com interviewed 50 Cent year ago and asked him to address the rumors that he had not been shot nine times. He offered the following:
UPDATE from allhiphop.com:
After the story exploded on the internet over the weekend, 50 returned to IG with a new pic this morning. The latest photo was of his other son, but it seemed to include a message to Tompkins and anyone else that had something to say about the back-and-forth between the two parents. He deflected from the entire ordeal by focusing on the holiday season.
50 posted, “What the fu😳k are these people talking about, we going shopping it’s CHRISTMAS. LOL”