theprayingwoman.com

When “Glee” actress Amber Riley fainted at a red carpet event recently, rumors swirled that her new diet was the cause. Amber took to Twitter after the incident to dispel rumors, saying she would “never starve [herself] to fit clothes.”

The 25-year-old actress, who has recently dropped at least two dress sizes, says that she lost the weight by cutting out fast food and sticking to a new diet and exercise plan.  She said she has always been comfortable with her size but just wanted to be healthier.

Of course being healthy is paramount, but beyond that, does size really matter? It does if you ask the people told to lose weight because they’re obese by BMI standards or the ones that are told they are too skinny and need to put some meat on their bones.

Celebrities are under intense pressure to maintain a certain size because every pound gained or lost is a potential magazine cover story (think about how Jessica Simpson was treated), but this pressure seems to apply to more than just those who are paid for how they look. And without a standard, contentment must be found when looking in your own mirror because feedback from the outside world is often conflicting.

For one, many of us have no idea what size we really wear because sizes vary from store to store. In one shopping trip, one might purchase a pair of jeans in a size 4, 6 and 10 — yet those jeans might all fit the same.

This common experience makes the obsession with size strange because there isn’t a universal way to measure it (no pun intended). Sure there are ballparks, but if you’re looking into buying a weight loss product that promises you’ll drop a size in a week, you’re probably better off just buying a different brand of jeans.

The second issue – especially in the black community – is that some men claim weight is an important factor in choosing women to date, so many women tailor themselves to fit a shallow standard. But one man’s “thick chick” is another’s “overweight neighbor” and one man’s “slim sweetheart” is another’s “too skinny friend.” We’re better off just finding someone who is content with our size rather than trying to fit into one man’s narrow preferences, but some people would rather play shapeshifter.

You can barely watch television these days without seeing Jennifer Hudson, Janet Jackson and Mariah Carey endorsing popular weight loss products. At the same time, gossip sites demanded answers after paparazzi pictures surfaced of Avatar’s Zoe Saldana walking down the street looking too skinny for her skinny jeans.  When the famously thin actress starred in the film Colombiana, she prompted one writer to say, “female action stars have gotten too skinny to throw a believable punch.” (Ouch!)

However, sometimes, the size pressures placed on black women are even tougher than those placed on other cultures. Anyone can shrink their whole body, but on the flipside, the pursuit of video vixen style prominent bosoms, flat abs, and enormous derrieres is a tall order for someone who is not genetically shaped that way.

I’ll never forget the time one of my friend’s showed me her booty booster. I’m not sure what the proper name was for that painful looking contraption, but when she put it on underneath her jeans, it significantly boosted her backside.

“Guys like girls with big butts” she told me with a shrug.

Of course “guys like girls with big boobs” too and that is undoubtedly where the inspiration behind padded push up bras — such as Victoria Secret’s “Miraculous” bra — come from. But who really wants to carry around all that extra material just to give off an illusion and to feel good about themselves? There are an excessive amount of devices created to enhance, diminish, distort, and constrict a woman into looking a particular way, but all that stuff has to come off at some point and you’re left feeling inadequate with what you’ve been given naturally. That’s sad.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to take pride in our appearance, but there is a fine line between a healthy desire to look our best and unhealthy desperation to be a certain size and have certain curves. And with all the images directed at us acting as though only black women are big yet other images saying being skinny and less than curvy is out of style aren’t helping us get any more healthy. Maybe crazy, but not healthy.

Besides, when taking your full potential into consideration and what it is you bring to this world, does the fact that you’re a slim sista or “thicker than a Snicker” really matter anyway?

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Over the weekend Alice Randall wrote an op-ed piece for The New York Times on black women and fat, simply titled just that. If you haven’t noticed, articles on this topic are becoming about as abundant as ones on black women being single and the trend shows no sign of slowing down. Anyway, Randall plainly states that “many black women are fat because we want to be” and goes on to rehash the oft-expressed notion of black women preferring to have a little more meat on their bones as evidenced through her personal experience of praying for fat thighs as a little girl and knowing many men, her husband included, who have a panic attack the minute their woman drops below 200 pounds.

It’s evident right from the beginning that Randall is not aware of the difference of having rounder hips or a bigger backside and actually being fat, overweight, obese, or in any other physically plump state as a black women that has caught headlines recently, but that’s a far more frustratingly minor point in the overgeneralized and exaggerated prose.

Beyond the aesthetic appeal of a fuller body, Randall says African American women subscribe to being fat, black, and happy as some form of political statement. Quoting Andrea Elizabeth Shaw’s book, The Embodiment of Disobedience: Fat Black Women’s Unruly Political Bodies, Randall too argues that the fat black woman’s body “functions as a site of resistance to both gendered and racialized oppression.” She writes:

“By contextualizing fatness within the African diaspora, she invites us to notice that the fat black woman can be a rounded opposite of the fit black slave, that the fatness of black women has often functioned as both explicit political statement and active political resistance.”

As a heavier black woman who just dropped 22 pounds and has several more to go I can tell you, it ain’t that deep. But if it was, then why do we feel the need to defend it?

Every time another study comes out about obesity in America or black women’s happiness being heavy, a slew of articles come out explaining why we’re bigger than white women and why we’re okay with that. It seems to me if we were really okay with it, there’d be no need to explain anything. I get that sometimes some of these studies feel like yet another attack on black women and we want to let “them” know we’re not falling for it, but the truth is we all know that when researchers point out the alarming rates of black women who are overweight, obese, or morbidly obese we know good and well they’re not talking about having a little something extra in all the “right” places, they’re talking about significant pounds that become a health concern and defense against that is not easily justifiable—particularly if the case for a heavier body is to please black men that I thought didn’t want black women anyway. Do we not realize how ridiculous it sounds to say black women are okay putting themselves at risk of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and a zillion other illnesses to have a black man dish out a heavy dose of street harassment that we’re probably going to begrudgingly be subjected to in the first place? The thing is we’re not doing ourselves any favors by offering up this overgeneralized reasoning to the masses, especially because I’m more inclined to think black women are heavier not just “because they want to be” but because most of us haven’t had positive eating and exercise examples as a child.

The most frustrating part about Randall’s article is that after explaining why women want to be fat she moves into “WE need to change” and puts less than half the effort into encouraging women to actually get under 200 pounds or lose “the 10 percent of our body weight that often results in a 50 percent reduction in diabetes risk” than she did outlining all the reasons they “happily” got there in the first place. I’m thrilled at the confidence black women can display at any size and I don’t think we need to explain it as if it’s a state of mind we shouldn’t have. The more we attempt the justify it, the less secure with it we actually seem, and though that’s not such a bad thing either, we’re sending conflicting messages that don’t serve any positive purpose. As I’ve said before, not hating yourself because you’re not a size 2 and not caring about carrying extra weight are hardly the same thing but when articles like this come about it just adds to the stereotype that all black women are overweight and that we’re all intentionally overweight for cultural reasons. That line of thinking doesn’t make us sound much better than white women starving themselves to be thin to conform to their own beauty ideals. Let’s stop substituting one stereotype for another to justify something we say we’re okay with and start focusing on the real issue and the real problem: our physical health.

Do you think most black women are overweight because they really want to be?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Source: MSN

Now I understand why Rihanna was estranged from her father until 2010: The man is nuts.

Heat magazine somehow got in touch with Ronald Fenty, and although you’d think a man who’d only recently reunited with his daughter would tread lightly when speaking about her, he said this:

“I actually thought she was a little fat the last time I saw her. But when I saw her at this year’s Grammys, I thought she was back to her normal size. I used to joke with her, ‘Robyn, you’re getting too fat’. But I think she’s fine.

“I think she looked excellent, as everyone saw, at the Grammys. She’s dieting, she’s working out.”

Um, the only thing I’ve ever seen close to fat around Rihanna was a blunt—on the same vacation where she wore the tiniest string bikinis ever made and didn’t have a dimple, curve, or inch of cellulite in sight. And even if she had managed to gain a few pounds, is that really something you broadcast to a national magazine?

But don’t worry, it gets better. Ronald also gave his two cents (which is about all his comment is worth) on his daughter’s rumored reunion with Chris Brown, saying:

“Chris is a nice guy and everybody’s entitled to make mistakes in their life. God knows how many I’ve made. She’s her own woman now.”

We’re going to consider this interview his latest. No wonder that girl has issues.

What do you think about what Rihanna’s dad said? Is he clearly part of the reason she’s such a wild child?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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There’s more shock jock buffoonery clogging the airwaves but this time the scope has been broadened from one specific black woman—Whitney Houston—to all the black women working as TSA Agents at LAX Airport.

Last month, John Kobylt and Ken Chiampou were suspended for nearly two weeks for calling Whitney a “crack ho” on-air, but unfortunately they didn’t leave their racist one liners at home while they were supposed to be thinking about their actions. One week after retuning to air, they had a great time poking fun at LA airport security with another KFI morning host, Bill Handal.

According to EurWeb, While discussing a new initiative to ban fast food in south central, Bill Handal gets to the “fun” part of the moratorum by explaining why this ban is needed. He says South Central is the “fat capitol of southern California.”

“This is where all of those screeners—those fat black ladies who used to be the airport screeners in tight capri pants—they’ve all moved to south central.”

I love the silence in between his statements as he waits for the co-hosts to laugh and no one does. But while the silence may seem like a sign that the other hosts thought he’d crossed the line, it seems John and Ken were just getting their own lines together. When either a caller or a guest asks the hosts not to paint his people with the same brush and insists the workers are intelligent and very educated, John cuts him off immediately and says:

“I’ve seen them at LAX so I disagree with you right off the bat. Yeah I’ve profiled them. It’s not fair? It’s true…some of these people are scary to me.”

This is why paid suspensions don’t work.

Although you can’t expect much from a station with the slogan, “All White. All the Time,” the hosts’ disrespect is pretty blatant, especially for two men who just got off “punishment.” Clearly they didn’t learn their lesson.

Do you think it’s time to up the consequences for John and Ken?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Forget everything you’ve read about how carbs and sugar and saturated fat in the foods we eat are at the root of America’s obesity problem. The real reason so many people are overweight is spandex.

Ridiculous right? Some people seem to think so. In NPR’s ongoing Obesity in America series, a reporter talked to a few clothing designers about the evolution of clothing over the past few decades and how spandex and stretchy material has become standard in today’s clothing and how that gives people more leeway to be overweight.

“Years ago, when we made a suit or a coat, it was built like a battleship. It was like bulletproof,” NYC designer George Simonton says. “Today, it’s beautiful clothes but high comfort level. Everything has stretch — pants, skirts, dresses, blouses, knit tops.”

When consumers were asked their take on the spandex revolution, the opinions differed by size.

One woman said, “I do like spandex because of the way it curves my body. We are not perfect bodies, but sometimes you do want to feel lean and beautiful. Put on spandex. You’re good to go.” While a size 4 argued, “I think that spandex is made to accommodate people who are overweight. I’ve seen some terrible sights. They are overweight, and they would put on the tightest spandex things they can find, and they just look absolutely awful.”

So are we talking about being overweight or wearing things that are not in your size? There’s a big difference there.

Expanding waistlines and a decline in the price of spandex in recent years has allowed for widespread purchasing of clothing and undergarments with these materials, and despite the wonders they can work on smoothing back fat and trimming a roll here or there, even those who wear them feel a bit conflicted. “It’s dishonest,” one woman said. “It lets you get away with wearing things that you probably shouldn’t just because it expands to fit. I think it is deceptive.”

What was supposed to be an article exploring America’s weight epidemic turned into a discussion of style preference,though, with comments like, “Some of us cringe when we see the things that we see. Some people will be poured into a garment and think they look fabulous, and someone else might look at that person and think that’s not very attractive.”

I personally would like to know what garments people are finding that they think would make a person feel like they’re not overweight if they are. At most, you might be able to squeeze into something one size smaller with a good pair of spanx and a dress with some flow, but for the most part all you’re going to get is a little smoothing and a sleeker silloughette. I don’t think anyone would use that for justification to not lose weight, especially if we’re talking obesity. Perhaps the point they’re trying to get at is if people didn’t look good in clothes they’d be persuaded to lose weight? Let’s just cut out plus-size clothes altogether then, that will fix the problem. Sigh.

What do you think? Does the fact that people can still find clothes in larger sizes keep them overweight?  Are spanx and leggins bad for larger women’s waistlines?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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The word fat has been getting WORN out these days. Am I right?

While checking out some of the fashions from last night’s American Music Awards, I noticed that all the buzz was surrounding singer Christina Aguilera’s silver Herve Leger dress that was worn during a performance of the song, “Moves Like Jagger” with Maroon 5 (MY JAM). Okay, so homegirl didn’t look all that, and she possibly could have thrown on some SPANX with this skintight look. We get that. But what I’m sick of people saying about this girl and many women in general who dress like her form time to time is that she is FAT.

At this point, with folks still trying their damndest to starve themselves into a size 0 and others saying a size 16 is the new average, who the hell really knows what’s considered, big, small and unhealthy anymore? But when I look at Aguilera in this outfit, I don’t think saying she is fat is fair, and it’s pretty incorrect. If anything, like many women who just want to throw on a freak’em dress and…well…”freak’em,” Aguilera should have worn this dress in a larger size. And with most of her clothing choices these days, which have had to have been too close for comfort for her, she needs to do a better job of dressing for her size and not for the size she wishes she was.

Times are hard for everyone, and I understand that folks would rather try and struggle into jeans they’ve outgrown rather than spend a grip on a new pair of pants, but when I see a lot of women on the street with muffin tops poking out or jeans so tight I can’t breathe, I don’t think, “Damn, she’s SOOOO fat.” Instead, I think, “Wow, that does NOT fit,” and go about my business. I could be alone in thinking that a few style missteps with your size that cause some unsightly lumps, bumps and tires doesn’t make someone a “fatty.”

Shock jock, radio personality Rush Limbaugh said first lady Michelle Obama is not practicing what she preaches. Limbaugh criticized Lady O for induldging in short ribs while on vacation in Colorado. He said, ” The problem is—and dare I say this—it doesn’t look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutritionary, dietary advice. I’m trying to say that our first lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.”

The first lady’s detractors brushed off the comment telling the Washington Post “She’s never told people to cut out junk food; she’s suggested they eat junk less and exercise more.” They were a little bit nicer than they should have been. But I guess they wanted to take the classy route. Fortunately I don’t have to.

I would have responded with a question, something like, “Rush don’t you think you should be less focused on Michelle and what she’s eating and more focused on how you’re going to maintain that Adonis-like physique of yours while sitting behind a desk, spewing ignorant filth all day?” And another thing. Even the women on the covers of Sports Illustrated don’t have those bodies. It’s called airbrushing, not like every woman aspires to be on that cover anyway. No, the first lady opted for a more sophisticated approach, when she graced the cover of Vogue.

Limbaugh has since said he’s surprised at the backlash he’s received for his comments, saying he was engaging in very “civil discourse.”

Please, enough with the foolishness.

Everyone loves a good fast food run. On a busy day, there’s nothing like inhaling a Big Mac, fries and strawberry milkshake to quench the hunger.  But according to National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey that quenching has lead to unhealthy results– 53.4 percent of black women 20 years or older being obese.

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