All Articles Tagged "family members"
From The Grio
KINGSTON, Jamaica (AP) — A British schoolgirl visiting relatives in a rural village in northern Jamaica was fatally shot when a lone gunman opened fire on a group of family members as they gathered at a roadside shop, officials said Sunday.
Imani Green, 8, of Balham in south London, was standing inside a clapboard grocery store and bar with Jamaican relatives Friday evening when a gunman wearing a hoodie shot the child in the head and shoulder before also shooting and wounding three adult members of her family.
The high command of Jamaica’s police force said Sunday that Imani was “mercilessly slaughtered in front of family members in a hail of bullets as gangsters sought to exact revenge on their rivals” in the normally quiet Red Dirt district of Duncans in Trelawny parish.
The roadside business where the shooting occurred is apparently owned by a female relative of the slain girl. There have been no arrests.
Get more details on The Grio.
It’s almost that time of year again–not Black Friday, but the day before. You know, the time where families share laughs over a Turkey missing a head and other delicious fixings we love to devour on Thanksgiving. And while it can be nice to see family all together, some family members can be an irritating mess. If one isn’t letting their children drive everyone crazy, somebody is inquiring into why you don’t have a ring on your finger and a baby on your hip. It would be okay if these people didn’t make you want to scream every year, but we all know nothing will change but the year. So get your mind right and ready for these 14 interesting characters you might see on Thanksgiving day.
Oh, the things that make one become a different man…a better man.
My girl’s sister’s partner-slash-non-husband is an absolute d!ckbag worthy of being punched in the throat. He’s gives the air of a sour human being, seemingly devoid of any semblance of joy that doesn’t come solely from his young son. He’s icy with “our” side of the family and openly controlling with my girl’s sister.
All that sucks and my heart goes out to her, but that’s not my beef with her. What invited my ire is that he vocalized displeasure at my lady and me even getting together near the beginning of our courtship. I’m guessing dude just didn’t like my black face and all the tattoos. I know for an indisputable fact that this cat is not on my team, and it makes it damn near impossible for me to ever be welcoming to him.
Yet I have to smile at this guy. I need to be civil and pretend like I’m cool and that everything’s 100 when I see him at family outings. My lady has made it explicitly clear that if I get some beef going with him, I’ll be the one that looks bad within the family, even though none of the family actually likes his a*s either.
The whole issue has made me think about what it means to let anyone I dislike anywhere near my familial circle, even if they are technically supposed to be there. I come from my mother’s school of you-might-be-my-blood-but-I-don’t-have-to-love-you-so-don’t-ask-me-for-Shyte, so it’s really difficult for me to imagine having pay for a plate for this clown at my wedding.
And yet, this is part of the sacrifice that we all make for the people we love. Whenever I tell her I’m never shaking his hand again, she says earnestly, “Do it for me,” and I can’t tell her no. She has earned the privilege to command of me maturity and forgiveness to the degree that I give a shotty, half-hearted dap to a dude neither of us likes.
I don’t think she is very sympathetic to my man-code sentiments on the whole issue. Be that as it may, I realize that the path of least resistance involves being congenial to a man I don’t actually have to see regularly. So be it.
I tell you, that bellicose part of me is always waiting for him to give me a reason to punch him in his very punchable face….
Do you have family members or in-laws who you cannot stand? How do you deal with them?
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Deaths, drugs, finances, unplanned pregnancies—many of us face these issues with close friends and family. Out of love, we do our best to help, especially when children are involved. Following our emotions, some of us (me included) would adopt every child on the street that didn’t come from a stable, loving home. However, in reality, adopting (or taking in) a child is not as simple as it appears.
There is much that comes with parenting and even more that comes with a child who isn’t biologically yours—particularly true in Losing Isaiah scenarios and step-parenting on non-custodial side of things. What happens when you invest your love into a child as if they were your own, make them a part of your family and, suddenly, ten years later their biological mother gets clean and wants to regain custody? Or, what about trying to integrate an outside child into your family culture every other weekend?
Though the reward usually outweighs the inconvenience and sacrifice, adopting a relative can be taxing which is why you should ask yourself a few questions before making the leap into non-biological parenthood:
- Do you have the ability to love the child more than you love yourself?
It’s a no-brainer for most mothers as to whether or not they would sacrifice their well-being on account of their children. At the moment of birth something clicks and suddenly they are struck with the capacity to love unconditionally, selflessly. Parenthood often requires one to put their needs on the backburner to meet those of children—for better or worse, rich or poor. Would you be willing to give that child the last bite with no way to feed yourself?
- Are you being driven by emotions or clear thought?
Emotions are unpredictable and deceiving; they flutter up and down, left to right. Remove your emotions from the decision and weigh out the pros and cons when your feelings are at rest. That way, you can accurately assess the situation and how you would tackle potential issues in the future.
- Are you flexible?
If you’re an idealist, a less than traditional parenting setup may not be a good idea for you. Consider how firm you are on being The Mom and only mom. Ask yourself if you would wish the biological parents away or be open to making them a part of the child’s life. Adoption is an alternative form of parenting, which means it also requires a non-traditional approach.
- Can you afford it?
No, you don’t need a million dollars to become a parent; but it costs money to raise children. Take a look at your finances and adjust your current budget with the added expenses of a child in mind. If you work, is there room for child care expenses? Can you buy school clothes and pay for dental appointments?
- Do you really want to raise someone else’s child?
Taking a child in is a huge commitment and you have to be dedicated to that child as if they were your own, which is easier planned than done.
Adopting a new relative changes your life instantly. Think and pray through it before acting.
LaShaun Williams is a Madame Noire contributor and columnist whose work has appeared in the New York Times and across several popular sites, such as HuffPost Black Voices and the Grio. For more information, visit her blogPolitically Unapologetic or follow her on Twitter @itsmelashaun and Facebook.
When you think about your wedding day you want it to be magical, memorable and as drama free as possible. Emphasis on that last part. While you want to include your family and friends in your special day, there are some people who just don’t know how to act. And while you may love them and even like parts of them, if they participate in your wedding, it’s going to be a hot mess. These are some of the people who can turn a day that’s supposed to be dedicated to love and unity into a hellish circus.