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Relationships are built and based on a number of things. Some relationships are built on love, some on sex, others on trust and others on finances. However, most relationships that last are built and based primarily on communication and trust. So what happens when the person we are involved with, the one we trust and love, betrays us? More importantly, how do we miss the signs of betrayal, both obvious and not? Why do we fall for the things we fall for in relationships? The answer is simple…we fall for the things we fall for in relationships because we innocently hear the words our loved ones say to us, we imbed those words in our minds and bury them in our hearts…why? Because we trust them. Why do we trust them? Because we believe they have our best intentions in mind as well as the relationship. Not only do we innocently hear the words they say, but we glance over some of their actions that we agree and disagree with, causing us to miss obvious signs of infidelity or betrayal. Why do we do this? Because we want our relationships to work no matter what the cost. Now don’t get me wrong, there are many people who don’t miss the obvious signs of their relationship going downhill, but there are also those people who see the signs, but refuse to acknowledge them for the sake of having a relationship.

Refusing to acknowledge obvious signs of a failing relationship is detrimental to one’s mental stability and overall health; but sometimes you can miss those signs by trusting solely in that person and not relying on instincts.  How do you avoid missing the signs of infidelity, or better yet, how can you avoid falling for/believing everything your mate says? Do the following:

1. Listen to what your mate says, don’t just hear them. This may seem redundant, but what most people fail to realize is that there is a difference between hearing and listening. When you hear what someone is saying you are receiving the information given, or becoming aware of something, meaning you’re just taking what they say with a grain of salt; however, when you listen to someone you are paying attention to what they are saying, you understand it for what it is, and you can take the information you received and go forward with it.
2. Observe their actions. Observing your mate’s actions will help you recognize how they have changed and how the dynamics of the relationship have changed as well. For example, if your mate suddenly stops spending a certain amount of time with you that you’ve become accustomed to without just cause, this may be a red flag that you shouldn’t ignore. If they change the way they dress, or pay particularly close attention to their appearance, more than before, you may want to start asking questions. Am I saying you should be Inspector Gadget? No, but I am saying that you should observe your mate’s change in actions within the relationship.
3. Trust your mate, but trust your instincts more. If you are in a relationship with someone, there is obviously some level of trust there, which is great. But if your instincts indicate some red flags with your mate, trust them. Am I am saying that you should be overly paranoid? No, but what I am saying is that if you’ve noticed some strange changes with your mate and your internal intelligence tells you to ask questions, or listen and observe a bit closer than usual… do so.
4. When the obvious is blatantly obvious, take it for what it is. When your mate has obviously cheated on you, admits it and is even apologetic for it, walk away from the obvious cheater and the relationship because he may step out on you again. While I do believe in second chances, I don’t believe in being an obvious fool.
5. Don’t make excuses for them. This step is huge! People often miss signs of infidelity or fall for lies because they make excuses for their mates. They notice the change in their mate and the relationship as a whole but make excuses like “he’s just tired…” “She has to work late…” “I feel neglected, but it’s okay, I know he loves me…” and so on and so on. Why do we do this? We do this because we don’t want to face the reality of the situation, and we are trying to spare our hearts from breaking without realizing we are walking directly into heartbreak by not using our common sense and listening to our instincts.

Trusting someone is not easy, and when we find someone we want to be involved with we put our trust in them; and by doing so we have the tendency to be vulnerable, let our guards waaaay down and often fail to see the obvious. It happens very easily, and sometimes it can be avoided, others times it can’t. Trust your instincts, stay true to yourself, listen, look and learn.

What have you fallen for in relationships? Have you missed obvious signs of infidelity?

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.

knowzzle.com

Thank goodness that in recent seasons, tights have taken on a new life—going from drab and itchy in just a few primary colors to getting turned up in bright colors, cozy textures and fun prints. They’re great for adding another dimension to your favorite cool weather skirts and dresses. Here are 10 pairs that we are currently crushing on.

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While a preference for dresses tends to decline as a chill hits the air, fall doesn’t necessarily mean you have to hang up all your favorite frocks. Become an expert at layering with great tights, sweaters and sleek jackets, and let your dresses live all year long.  This is definitely the time to experiment with trends, play with fabrics, and to experiment with various textures. And as always, remember that updating your wardrobe does not have to break the bank. Cozy up to these 10 fall dresses we love for less than $100.

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Pinterest.com

As the weather turns colder, your outerwear becomes the defining portion of your styling to the outside world. As such, the jacket is arguably the most essential layering piece that you’ll need for fall and it can be both functional and fabulous. Regardless of how you define your style, from chic to sporty, the perfect jacket is out there just waiting to be snagged by you.

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Net-a-Porter.com

Trends are such a tricky thing: we get all attached to a particular style, only to have it be out of vogue the following season! Luckily, there are some trends that make the cut year after year. Dying to know if that spiked pump you bought last fall will still be hot this year? Check out some of these fierce footwear picks from the shoe trends that will be returning for fall, and see if your favorite makes the cut.

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It’s that time again! At 2 a.m. Sunday, don’t forget to move your clocks forward. Yes, you will lose an hour of the day but the good news is Sunset will be an hour later.

This year, daylight saving time will be in effect from March 11 until Nov. 4, unless you’re in Arizona, Hawaii, Puerto Rico or the U.S. Virgin Islands. They don’t use daylight saving time. This year the annual tradition of daylight saving time has crept forward a bit. We used to spring forward on the first Sunday in April and fall back on the last Sunday in October, but several years ago, Congress changed the date—adding more daylight saving time to the calendar.

Learn more on the history of Daylight Savings!

(Source:all photos of outfits via Style.com)

For fall, Rachel Roy embraces earth tones like a pro and amps up her traditional sleek silhouettes with punches of color and tons of texture. Roy credits the documentary Women in Dirt as inspiration for the collection. It’s about women who create gardens within urban areas, a type of “modern landscape.”  Her color palette mimics the inspiration by including rich plums, dazzling teals, rusted oranges, moss greens, and slate grays that look as if they were stolen right from nature.

The collection is comprised of separate pieces perfect for 9-to-5′ers, but are updated with modern twists. Monochromatic looks, the beloved color-blocking trend, and the use of multiple fabrics such as silk, leather and colorful furs are all ways twisted modernity comes into play.

Roy designs for the woman that carries herself with an air of sophistication and smidgen of edginess. Sound familiar? Then click through the gallery of memorable looks (grouped by trend) from her New York Fashion Week presentation, plus learn more about the hair and makeup looks.

Bracelets are having a huge moment right now. Over the summer, stacking multiple bracelets on one’s arm became this hip new trend. Bonus points were given if those bangles were made of various materials. Lots of gals oogled other women’s arm candy, but never tried the look themselves. Sound like you? Then take advantage of your second chance because ‘the art of stacking’ is here to stay. Not your style? That’s totally fine. Regardless if you embrace wearing loads of bracelets or prefer to only rock one or two, we’ve got some adorable options for your viewing pleasure! Brace yo’ self, fashionistas! You’re about to make a statement…

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This fall, there aren’t very many black faces in the new network broadcast line-up, so that means even fewer black women to represent.  However, there are a few shows where you can see black actors and actresses doing their thing, usually in secondary or recurring roles (sigh). So if you happened to be on the lookout, here are the new fall shows where you can find some great writing, good acting, and as a plus, a few black faces. 

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We’re seeing spots! Polka dots are THE print for fall. Updating common wardrobe items like the skirt, the blouse, and the trouser is as easy as signing on the dotted line. This trendy print can be intimidating, but with varying size dots and colors, there’s something for everyone! Explore our picks and add some spotted pieces to your fall wardrobe.

Note: Feature photo courtesy of Bisouonline.com.