All Articles Tagged "evelyn lozada"
Sil Lai Abrams, journalist, domestic abuse advocate and founder of Truth In Reality, doesn’t have any grand delusions that people will completely tune out of reality television. Nor is she really looking to shame anyone with a moralist message about virtue and respectability.
With that said, she does believe that reality television is creating a narrative around womanhood, particularly Black womanhood, that is both damaging and dangerous.
And through the Redefining HERstory Campus Social Action Program and Education Tour, Abrams is looking to inspire young people to – at the very least – think critically about what they are consuming.
On her campus tour, which began late last month at Grambling University and will be making its second stop tonight at 7 p.m at Kent State University tonight (Kiva Auditorium). The aim is media literacy. And during tonight’s event Abrams says she is looking to engage students in conversation on how sexist and racist stereotypes sometimes play themselves out on many of these shows.
After the event, the conversation will continue online for weekly #RealityInTV Twitter chats, where Abrams along with guest experts and media personalities including Roland Martin, discuss topics related to rape culture and institutional oppression, sexism in the media and male accountability. And it will continue on campuses as well, with watch parties and guest speakers, who will drive home messages related to anti-violence and women empowerment.
While the aim is to raise awareness and to alert young adults in particular to what she believes are destructive themes, the ultimate goal is to get young people, particularly young Black women to create counter narratives of their own to what they see in the media.
“Since folks are going to be watching it anyway, you might as well watch it and analyze it with them. It’s not about shaming or passing judgment. But as media consumers, you have to know what you’re watching and what the potential impact is having on how you view situations in real life,” said Abrams.
Like violence against women.
As Abrams suggest, the fairly recent rise in smack down and drag out relationship-themed reality television, like “The Bad Girls Club” and the entire “Love & Hip Hop” franchise, has created a narrative, which appears to both condone and normalize Black love steeped in violence and dysfunction. We laugh, mock and make snarky comments about how these women “deserve it” on social media, but rarely do we consider the context.
Like Mimi Faust from the wildly popular “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta,” who was stuck for 16 years in a traumatic relationship with music producer and fellow cast member Stevie J. Many people ridiculed her for staying in a clearly emotionally manipulative and abusive relationship for so long. However rarely did anyone consider that prior to landing a spot on the series, it was likely Faust was a pretty economically insecure single mother and that alone made her more susceptible to Stevie J’s exploits.
And then there was the much publicized domestic abuse incident involving former “Basketball Wives” stars Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada. Since Lozada was known for jumping on tables and basically bullying her fellow “wives” on the show, viewers had trouble seeing her as a victim in her real life relationship with the former football star.
“Basically most of the commentary around these incidences sided with the abuser and her perceived lack of proper behavior and decorum were viewed as the culprit. That is a direct result of conditioning,” said Abrams, laying out the connection between reality television and abuse. “There is extensive research, which suggests the viewing of violent images against women increase male aggression towards women. So these reality television shows, which feature violent images of women of color are contributing to the normalization and reinforcing of negative stereotypes that men who are violent or predisposed to violence use to justify and rationalize their abuse.”
There is also more nefarious correlation stemming from these images, which has little to do with abuse, said Abrams. In particular, the White gaze. She recalled a friend’s story about being in Eastern Europe and being confused with “Real Housewives of Atlanta” television star NeNe Leakes – in spite of looking nothing like her.
“It was the only point of reference they have for a Black American woman. So we have to remember that for lots of people, who never come into contact with Black people, this is the only narrative that they see. And that shapes perceptions of us,” she said.
Abrams said that she is no stranger to the lives lived by many of the characters on these reality programs (you can watch this short tour promo clip, which explains more her personal story). Her past includes being a former high school drop out, who struggled with an alcohol dependency issue before going into modeling and eventually the music industry, She was also a single mother with little education as well as a survivor of sexual assault and violence. Those vulnerabilities are the major reasons why she does not sit in judgment of their choices.
But she is concerned about whether or not, these images, which are highly edited, filtered and even scripted, are really letting us see these women’s full humanity or are these women just caricatures, being exploited for cheap entertainment. “There is a lack of balance in the portrayed. When go across all media, we are portrayed as centers around historical racist stereotypes which have been recycled and rehashed for entertainment today,” she said.
With violence infiltrating every aspect of popular culture and media including sports, film and music, It’s hard to say if the onus of these negative images lands squarely at the feet of Mona Scott Young. However Abrams is certain that violence has been a driving narrative of young women, between 18 to 49. She notes that “Love & Hip Hop” is tied for number three in ratings besides WWF wrestling.
“So when the top shows we consume are centered around patriarchy and pushing patriarchal themes, it’s easy to see how abuse is normalized and even how this culture of rape is shaped. That’s why it is imperative that we address the young people, particularly women, to let them know that this sort of behavior is not okay.”
Although a final itinerary has not been finalized, Abrams said the Redefining HERstory tour will be making a number of stops on campuses across the country. She also hopes to work with local organizations in vulnerable communities to reach out to even younger-aged women and men.
In the meantime, Abrams is offering a free downloadable media kit, which was created by developmental psychologist Dr. Scyatta Wallace of JANISAW, a consulting company specializing in leadership development and life skills programs for teen girls and young women, to help educators, youth counselors and other folks have similar conversations with young people in their own communities.
“Even before we take action, first we need people to understand that there is a problem. And then you have to engage them and then they have to become personally invested in the issue. Because what we are talking about here is personal agency. We can’t say that we want greater and more varied public images of Black women and women of color in the media, if we keep supporting those images we don’t want.”
Ever since little Carl Leo Crawford, Jr. was born, Evelyn Lozada has posted adorable pictures of him for the world to see. We’re glad she has been so willing to share such glimpses into infancy, because he’s just the cutest thing.
But one individual in this happy family who has been concealed is Lozada’s fiancé, Carl Crawford. The LA Dodgers outfielder seems a bit shy when it comes to being put out there on social media, so Lozada sticks to posting images of the back of him, or ones that just don’t include his face. And the only time we’ve seen the two front and center in front of a camera together (with both of their faces showing) was when the couple was spotted having date night back in April at Maestro’s in Beverly Hills.
But in a surprising move, Lozada posted a very sweet image of father and son chilling together at home recently, and captioned it “MCM #MyBoys #Crawford”
How cute are they? Check out more adorable images of a growing Carl Leo Crawford, Jr. and his parents below:
My love has two teeth coming in at once! Where is the time going? (Disregard my finger in his mouth lol Only way I could capture this pic) #CarlLeoCrawford #MyKidsAreMyLife #BlessedToBeHisMommy A photo posted by Evelyn Lozada (@evelynlozada) on
Spent the day with my love He just woke up from a nap & was not trying to crack a smile #CarlLeoCrawford A photo posted by Evelyn Lozada (@evelynlozada) on
A photo posted by Evelyn Lozada (@evelynlozada) on
While chatting with Necole Bitchie recently, K. Michelle spoke openly about her dating past, from dealing with NBA stars J.R. Smith (“J.R. isn’t a good guy”) and Lance Stephenson (“Me and him are really getting to be friends”), to the father of her son (“Yeah [he married] my sorority sister!”). But the most interesting tidbit about who she almost dated was what she dished about Chad Johnson. She said in the past that he tried to get at her (and offered to buy her some shoes…), but in this interview with Necole (who revealed that she also dated the former NFL player long ago), the singer said that she didn’t date him because not only was he not inspiring her, but she felt that he had some healing he needed to go through from all his past drama.
And oh yeah, his penis was way too big for her.
“If I can’t write a song about you, I’m not gonna date you. That means you’re not inspiring me and it’s not gonna work. ‘Damn,’ for me was a record [about] Ocho trying to date me and it was a lot of ‘nos,’ and I don’t listen to people but you do have to pay attention somewhat. I was like, ‘Damn, I’m feeling some type of way. Like, I want to try to get to know you and love you but not today.’ And that’s what ‘Damn’ was about. Like, ‘You’re cool but now is not the time for it,’ and that’s real.
His penis is so big Necole, I would not let him have sex with me. Because I did not want him to stretch my walls out because I need them. I need them. I looked at his penis and I said you know what? Uh Uh. I’m not–that thing is unreal. I can’t. I can’t take that.
He’s a cool, nice guy, he still is funny. But between that, I was not screwing him with that penis. And then on top of that, I just feel like he has his own healing and stuff to do. And I was going through my healing of situations and things like that. And it was right after Evelyn [Lozada]. So it wasn’t time for that. And she blocked me on Twitter. I love Evelyn. I’m like, ‘I ain’t got nothing to do with this Evelyn, I really like you.’ So you can unblock me Evelyn, I really do like you!”
I would say TMI, but I’m not going to lie, that was an intriguing bit of information. You can check out their chat below:
Evelyn Lozada Speaks On Domestic Violence, Says Infamous Fight With Chad Johnson Was Her “Karma For Acting A Fool”
As news coverage continues to surround Ray Rice, that elevator video of him knocking out then-fiancée Janay Palmer and the aftermath of it, the conversation about domestic violence also continues.
Evelyn Lozada’s name was brought up in a conversation about women walking away from their abusers on Twitter, and Lozada decided to join in it. She spoke about feeling like part of everything she went through with ex-husband Chad Johnson, including that domestic abuse incident where he headbutted her after she confronted him about buying condoms to cheat, was karma for her bad behavior. All in all, she said that the situation made her a much better person because she realized that she needed to work on herself.
And Lozada has definitely changed from the woman we used to see on “Basketball Wives” back in the day to the mother of a newborn who has traded in bottle and shade-throwing for diapers and a chill life with fiancé Carl Crawford.
She told Life & Style in the past that after her public split from Johnson, she hit rock bottom.
“I had the worst 2012, I thought my life was over. It happened so publicly, and then the passing of my brother-in-law. But that entire incident [with Chad] led me to where I’m at now.
I would say my broken bridge led me to happiness. If I had to do it again, I would because I truly feel complete right now in my life and I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
Lozada told the magazine that Crawford changed her life for the better.
“He came into my life at a perfect time. Everything that happened makes me appreciate him 1,000 times more and he also makes me a better person.”
Janay Palmer Releases Statement On Elevator Video Leak, Defends Husband: ‘We Will Continue To Show The World What Real Love Is!’
Yesterday, a major missing piece to the Ray Rice domestic violence saga was revealed when TMZ released footage from the hotel elevator where the troubled NFL star punched his wife, knocking her out cold. Shortly after the shocking reveal, Ray’s contract was terminated by the Baltimore Ravens and he was suspended indefinitely by the league. Today, the woman at the center of it all, Ray’s wife Janay, is speaking out and her reaction is quite troubling. In an apparent attempt to defend her husband, she slams media outlets and blames them for taking “all of the happiness away” from her family.
“I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare,” she wrote in an Instagram post. “Feeling like I’m mourning the death of my closest friend. But to have to accept the fact that it’s reality is a nightmare in itself. Nobody knows the pain that the media and unwanted attention options [opinions] from the public has caused my family. To make us a relive a moment that we regret everyday is a horrible thing.
To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his a** off for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific. THIS IS OUR LIFE. What don’t you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you’ve succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!”
Sadly, her statement appears to reflect the Baltimore Ravens’ initial reaction to the incident, which was that Janay is also to blame for the altercation.
After the new footage leaked, the 4-month-old tweet was removed from the Ravens Twitter account, but not before fans began blasting the organization for it.
— Ryan Gorman (@GormoJourno) September 8, 2014
— Chris Wragge (@ChrisWragge) September 8, 2014
Personally, I love mommy Evelyn. Not only has she mellowed considerably, it’s nice to see her devoting her energy to something worthwhile. Over the weekend, Lozada shared an absolutely adorable picture of her son Carl Leo Crawford Jr. And he’s just so yummy, we had to share with you all. Precious. Take a look at the pics she’s posted on Instagram over the past few months.
Underneath the picture above, she included the caption:
Spent the day with my love <3 He just woke up from a nap & was not trying to crack a smile #CarlLeoCrawford
Evelyn says this is how she finds her son every morning, getting his exercise in. #TummyTime
“3 Seconds Of Anger Cost Me A Lifetimes Worth Of Work”: Chad Johnson Says Ugly Fight With Evelyn Lozada Ruined His Career
If you’ll recall, in 2012, Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada had something of a whirlwind romance, and a majority of it was featured on Basketball Wives. But things went left after they tied the knot. If you’ll recall, on August 11, less than a month after the couple tied the knot (July 4), Johnson was arrested in Florida. He was charged with domestic battery for headbutting Lozada following a heated argument over a receipt for condoms that she found in his car. She filed for divorce (which was finalized in September of 2012), and Johnson received a year of probation after pleading no contest to his misdemeanor battery charge.
The day after Johnson was arrested, he was released from the Miami Dolphins, and things went downhill from there. He has taken jobs here and there, including being an analyst for CBS’ Fantasy Football coverage, but after playing in the NFL for more than 10 years, his career was damn near over.
Thinking back on that dark time (FYI, he’s reportedly playing ball in Canada now), Johnson hit fans with a “Throwback Thursday” where he recounted how the moment he lost his cool changed his life forever. He posted the following picture of himself in court, and continued:
Speaking earlier this year, Johnson said that he still had love for his ex-wife, despite all they had been through: “Yeah, love don’t go nowhere like that. I will always love her, matter fact I love every goddamn body to an extent, it ain’t going nowhere.”
His most recent Twitter comments come right after Lozada’s former fiancé, Antoine Walker, spoke about her leaving him high and dry when his money ran out. Doesn’t it seem like it’s always when a woman moves on that her exes come out the basement…?
“She Reaped A Lot Of Benefits Of My Wealth”: Antoine Walker Calls Out Evelyn Lozada For Leaving Him After He Went Broke
That’s how long Antoine Walker claims that he was in a relationship with former fiancée, Evelyn Lozada. During that time, Walker was a big NBA player, best known for the years he spent with the Boston Celtics, making millions. But if you’ve seen the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary, Broke, or read the news in general on Walker, you know that he spent himself into a frenzy and filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy back in 2010. He is currently out here promoting a documentary about the rise and fall of his fame and his fortune over the years called Gone In An Instant. Walker told Russ Parr in a new radio interview that through the film, he hopes to help other NBA players from making the same mistakes he did:
“I wanted to be one of the ones to step in front of my story and tell of how I ended up losing my wealth and make it a positive thing. I think sometimes everybody looks at it as a negative thing, but I want to make it a positive thing and one, let people know how I lost my wealth, but also educate the new guys coming into the league and make sure they don’t make the mistakes that I made.”
At this stage in his life, Walker claims that he is finally without his massive debt, but he’s also without his former love, Lozada. Since leaving him, she has married and divorced Chad Johnson, and has had a child with current fiance, Carl Crawford. She has moved on, but Walker isn’t necessarily out here wishing her the best. In that same interview with the “Russ Parr Morning Show,” Walker spoke openly about feeling some type of way about Lozada leaving him when he was at his lowest point, especially since he claims that she was living quite well and happy with him when he had money.
“My thing with Evelyn is she reaped a lot of benefits of my wealth. And when it got tight, she chose to go a different direction. So that’s the problem that I have with Evelyn. That’s more personal…
I dated Evelyn for 10 years. In 1999, I signed my ninth deal in 1999. So she got to reap the full benefits of the whole process. She played her part. You think someone will have your back and that’s my whole thing. Evelyn went on with her reality show and we all know all her relationships she’s been in since me. It hasn’t been about let me make sure Antoine is okay. So that’s a big difference. That’s why I have a problem with Evelyn. It’s more personal. It’s tough when you take care of some people and you make sure that they’re good, their family, their daughters and then they just go left field.
We got engaged in 2007. We broke up for a minute so that’s what delayed the marriage, and towards the end, she left when things hit the fan.”
Looks like Walker is trying to pull the full on golddigger card, but Lozada claimed during the first season of Basketball Wives Miami that Walker cheated on her multiple times, and that such infidelity on top of other struggles, was a big reason why she had to leave him. And at this point, it seems that Lozada doesn’t appreciate Walker bringing her up in his interviews, because she just posted this on Twitter:
Well, there you have it! But what do you think about what Walker had to say about his past relationship with Lozada? Check out his full interview with “The Russ Parr Morning Show” here. His statements about Lozada start at the 6:00 mark.
“I’ve Heard The Dead Rises”: Tami Roman On If Basketball Wives Miami Will Return; Jennifer Williams Denies Throwing Shade At Evelyn
We told you last week that Evelyn Lozada was speaking openly on Twitter about wanting to make amends with Jennifer Williams after the two fell out on while they were on “Basketball Wives Miami.” She told a follower that she had actually reached out to Williams:
“I did reach out & I apologized for my actions& any hurt I caused her & her family.”
Despite Lozada wanting to let go of grudges and move forward, Williams posted some tweets soon after Lozada on Twitter that looked like they could be about that situation. Her messages included saying “Reason, season, lifetime PERIOD!!!” and she also wrote this:
But Williams is now saying she wasn’t throwing shade at a “certain someone” and if she was, she wouldn’t be afraid to mention them in her messages:
I’ll admit that I definitely thought Williams was addressing Lozada (all her messages happened soon after Lozada spoke about Williams on her account), and I’m not 100 percent sure I believe that she wasn’t…But hey, either way, she seems unbothered by all of it.
Speaking of former basketball wives, Tami Roman was asked by a follower late last week if she thought the Miami installment she was a part of would be coming back. She didn’t rule it out (only Shaunie O’Neal has those answers), but it didn’t seem like she wanted to take part in any return:
Roman has said in the past that she didn’t plan on returning to the show, especially since she didn’t appreciate the way she was being portrayed this past season:
“Listen, let me tell you, I’m still mad. Listen, here’s the thing. They’re trying to portray me week after week as a certain type of person and I’m not going for that. I’m not having that. I’m sick of the Basketball Wives train that has left the station this season.”
After all the ups and downs this show has had, and with both Roman and Lozada acting as though they wouldn’t return, it’s about time “Basketball Wives Miami” hang it up. But what do you think?
We told you earlier this week that Evelyn Lozada had her former BFF, Jennifer Williams, on her mind and wanted to try and mend the friendship they once had. She took to Twitter to publicly say that she had a dream about Williams (it was a funny one) and after her followers told her that she should reach out, Lozada said that she would try.
As it turns out, Lozada says that she DID call Williams. In some posts on Wednesday, she spoke about the importance of letting go of anger and grudges and the importance of trying to be a better person. And in the midst of all that, she let it be known that she did reach out to call Williams, but it’s unclear if her former friend even picked up the phone or called back…
The same day Lozada divulged all that information, Jennifer Williams only had this to say:
I know most people were saying that Williams shouldn’t give Lozada the time of day, and I can understand why she wouldn’t (you couldn’t be jumping over tables trying to fight me and then turn around and want to be my friend again either), but I do think it’s big of Lozada to publicly acknowledge that she behaved out of pocket while on Basketball Wives. It might be a little too late, but better late than never, right?