All Articles Tagged "essence"
…While fear might motivate us to action, we will burn out if we stay there. Here are some tips to move from fear to faith:
1. Find a Point of Contact: …We are stronger than the moments of life that we face!
2. Get Understanding: Knowledge is power! But it must be filtered through the lens of possibility. True understanding comes when we handle information properly. Miracles happen every day. There are people who have defied medical odds to live longer than anyone expected. Then there are still others who used their diagnosis to live fuller in the time that remained and in doing so transformed others. Knowledge only paints half the picture but possibility completes it.
3. Talk it Out: When we fear something, our instinct is to protect ourselves from it. Sometimes we simply need to talk ourselves through fear to discover what lies on the other side. For instance, we may be afraid of knowing how someone we are interested in feels about us. Not knowing protects us from rejection. But in truth, finding out actually frees us to move on and forward—with or without that person. Next time, fear knocks…answer the door and have the conversation.
You can read more on how Coach Felicia got over her own fear over on ESSENCE.com. How have you been able to combat fear? Whether it be a next step in life, an unspoken conversation that needs to happen or anything else, do you just rip the band-aid off?
Are you ready to paint the town purple?
Today, ESSENCE is excited to announce that music legend Prince will headline the 20th anniversary ESSENCE Festival in New Orleans on Fourth of July weekend in 2014. Prince last performed at the ESSENCE Festival for its 10th anniversary, back in 2004.
To honor this momentous occasion, ESSENCE will partner with the legendary singer/songwriter for a special community initiative led by the Rebuild the Dream Innovation Fund, which encourages young people to harness the power of media and technology, and channel their creativity into computer coding.
Read more at Essence.com
Most of us who are mothers are the primary caretakers of our kids whether we are married or single. We are also responsible for running a household and being a good wives/partners while working full-time jobs. So we have our hands full and being supermom just isn’t possible.
So our goal should not be being great at everything. Our goal should be to put our time and energy into those areas that will make the biggest difference in the lives of our children, like their health & wellness, education and building of their self-esteem. Knowing where (and where not) to put our energy and focus as mothers will help to be more powerful and productive parents in the end. It will also help us to maintain our joy, our peace and our energy level.
Here are a few steps to good (and powerful) parenting:
Cut Corners: Knowing where to cut corners is one of the great secrets of good parenting…
Let Go of The Guilt: Guilt is crippling and consuming so let go of feelings of guilt when you make a mistake as a parent. Acknowledge the shortcoming, and move on quickly so you can make better decisions going forward…
Ask For Help: It does take a village to raise a child so ask for help when you need it…
You can check out the rest of the tips from Notoya Green over on ESSENCE.com. The tips, as well as the words that go along with them, could prove to be of great help to some of our mommy readers.
What tips do you have for moms who are really hard on themselves?
They’re baack! Our favorite Southern belles are bridging both the drama (and the occasional sisterhood) on season 6 of Real Housewives of Atlanta. And judging by last week’s explosive season premiere, we’re in for a bumpy ride. Here, stars Kandi Burruss and Kenya Moore break down 7 things we’re in store for this season.
1. Lots of emotional moments
KANDI BURRUSS: You’ll get to see the personal dramas that everyone’s going through, as well as the drama amongst the cast. Every single time we got together this year, there was some drama. Like, every time. I’m having serious issues with my mother not being happy with my relationship. You’ll see Mama Joyce a lot more this year. You’ll see Todd and I make things work. This year is not just about the main cast this year; we have a lot of guest characters.
KENYA MOORE: I have a lot of family issues that I deal with this year. I feel like I was portrayed in a one-dimensional way on my first season and I feel like this season is about showing who I really am. You’ll see me tying to reconnect with my father and working on my issues with my mom.
2. Kandi explodes!
KANDI: There were times I was taping this season and thinking, ‘This is not healthy for me.’ Most of the time I try to be laid back and let things go. I’m also not a back-and-forth type of person, so when there’s too much back-and-forth I explode and I think that’s because I have so much stuff that I’m holding in. So, there’s some explosive moments this season.
3. Kenya and Porsha’s relationship is still rocky
KENYA: We don’t have much in common—that’s a fact. We all witnessed her taking delight in my pain and what I was going through in trying to have a husband or a family. I just think that’s a bit of karma. I never want to wish anyone pain so when I heard the news of her divorce I reached out to her. At the same time, she never apologized to me. And I don’t think she ever will. If I want to know about lipstick or weave, I call Porsha. But humility and owning up to your actions? That’s not something she knows.
There’s a lot more where this came from and to read about it, head on over to ESSENCE.com. With all the drama going on, this might be one of the highest rated seasons of Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Are you watching?
“How did you break free?”
Today, we’ll focus on three lessons that prepared me to do my work. I pray that you find something here to help you, or that you can share with others… but please seek medical help in your recovery:
1. I Learned Good Grief: At the age of 17, a well-meaning teacher questioned some of the changes in me. Tears overflowed as I tried expressing myself. She responded, “God is not moved by tears, He is moved by faith.” While her intent was to help, she only made it worse. All I heard was, “You’re failing God.”
2. I Let Others in My Process: I stopped denying my need for people. Depression led me to cut loved ones off for various reasons. I discovered that some people were uncomfortable with the fact that they could not “fix” me. So, I figured I’d save them the trouble and emotionally retreated.
3. I Explored My Gifts: Depression drained me and I stopped doing the things I loved. But one day out of sheer desperation, I started writing. What did I have to lose? In my writing, I found a sliver of myself again. Over time, the consistent act of doing what I loved helped me progress. Each taste of joy—no matter how faint—gave me reason to hold on and hope.
Please take some time to read the rest of Coach Felicia’s post on ESSENCE.com. Depression and other mental illnesses are very serious and it is important that we remain very aware of what’s going with our mental health.
“…Even now, that same sense of shame sometimes creeps over me when I am praised or complimented. I wonder, “Am I really enough?”
My coaching clients echo these sentiments, despite being successful entrepreneurs and leaders. As I continue to “do my work,” I’ve learned to focus on these three things when the “not enoughs” knock on our doors:
1. Know Our Gifts: Dwayne Coleman —I’m sorry I stole “your” masterpiece! But at the time, I didn’t know my gifts. In the second grade, the opportunity for them to be seen had not yet emerged. Music and art classes were painful reminders of my limitations.
Everyone has gifts! However, we typically overlook them as we focus on others’. Our inability to recognize our uniqueness often opens the door for others to treat our talents dismissively. Though we may not all possess the acting chops of Viola Davis or the athletic prowess of Gabby Douglas—there is a place where we shine!
ACTION STEP: List your gifts/talents and describe how they impact your environment. Once you learn to value them—your attitude will set the standard for others.
2. Know Our Limits: Everyone has limits! The healthy response is to respect and understand their impact. Sometimes we have to simply accept them, many times we can change them and other times we can surround ourselves with people who are gifted where we are not. Regardless, a true limit (meaning it cannot be fixed) is not to be feared—it is to be faced as you craft your game plan for success.
ACTION STEP: Answer the following: What are my limitations? Are they real or perceived? If real, answer this question, How have my gifts enabled me to compensate for my limitations?
3. Know Our Worth: Your worth is based on who you are—not what you do! You are a miracle of purpose and if you don’t believe in purpose, even science attests to your uniqueness! Everyone is an expression of potential and power.
You already have a proven track record of overcoming great odds. Regardless of your flaws, faults or physical inabilities, you’re here! You came here a winner—don’t be intimidated by the worth of others. LIVE YOUR WORTH in the knowledge of who you are.
ACTION STEP: Journal about 5 obstacles you have overcome and what you learned about yourself.
Read the rest of Coach Felicia’s story over on ESSENCE.com where she discusses her first experience of not feeling like enough…back in first grade!
What do you do when you feel like your best isn’t enough?
The story of TLC’s 20-plus year career and friendship will be played out in their new biopicCrazyHotCool: The TLC Story next week on VH1.
On a recent afternoon in New York City, remaining bandmembers Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas and Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins were in a playful mood, laughing heartily as they shared memories of their friend and third TLC member, the late Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes’ pranks, their worst fan moments, and what they did when they finally got some “real” money after years of being “the brokest” multi-platinum album selling artists.
Michael Jackson’s Thriller is the album that most influenced them musically:
T-Boz: I was like there’s nobody greater than this. I would do those dances with my penny loafers [she starts screaming hee-hee like Michael Jackson]. I already grew up in a musical family but seeing him made me want it so bad. He sparked it for us.
“…Anyone who has ever crafted a plan knows —more often than not—things don’t go the way we scripted them. Therefore, every fail-proof plan must include a strategy for handling disappointments and setbacks. The attitude and perspective we adopt when life falls short, will determine whether or not we simply survive or thrive!
We can thrive in life when we move from scarcity to abundance in our thinking—and in our response to life’s challenges. This abundance doesn’t pertain to the accumulation of material possessions. Rather, it refers to living and thinking about life from a place of engaged intentionality. True abundance is a mental mindset that focuses on possibility and potential. It is a state of being present and connected to your real power and ability.
The difference between thriving and surviving is found in our ability to:
1. Let Go of What We’ve Lost: Despite her hunger, my niece was oblivious to the remaining Cheerios. But, they were exactly what she needed. Too often, we don’t enjoy relationships—or needed resources—because we refuse contentment. Instead, we idealize and idolize the people and situations that appear to be beyond our grasp.
The things we’ve lost are behind us. In order to thrive, we must understand that the sole purpose of the past is to provide information. It is incapable of doing anything else. The transformation we desire in our present—and future—is not possible when we live fixated on the past. Transformation occurs when we take stock of the potential for change present in today and act!
2. Love What’s Left: If we are ever going to push past a mentality of living that keeps us stuck and struggling, we must embrace the things that lie within our control and sphere of influence. If we spend our time running after what we’ve lost, we will neglect what we have—failing to experience the transformation that is possible as we build for the future. Tomorrow is a seed buried within today’s actions, decisions and relationships—we must nurture the seeds currently in our hands.
You can read the rest from Coach Felicia on ESSENCE.com.
Do you often find yourself thinking about what you don’t have rather than what you do have and what’s yet to come? How do you change your thinking and continue to work on positive reinforcement?
I think we can all agree that when it comes to Diddy, not only is he about his bread, but he’s also definitely about the ladies. But in the last few years, it seems that Sean Combs has decided to slow himself down. The mogul and father of five (six if you include him being the informal stepfather of Kim Porter’s son, Quincy) has been in a relationship with Cassie for the last couple of years. While they haven’t been as open about their relationship as he has been in the past (remember when Diddy and Kim Porter were on the cover of Essence?), they definitely have the lovey-dovey social media message thing on lock. She’s sent him more than a few Instagram posts professing her love, but is Diddy ready to take the next big step with her (or any other woman)? He told the ladies of The View (Barbara Walters specifically) that he’s not…
“It definitely would be a dream come true for me to just one day just be ready for that.
The thing is, I’m not really looking because I know the responsibility that comes with that and I think that a lot of people, they jump into that and they’re not honest with themselves. I’m brutally honest with myself. If I’m ready for that responsibility, I think in due time…I don’t want to get married and not make that woman be the best. I’m a big baby in a grown man’s body. I’ve been close to it and when I’m ready I’ll make the announcement, but when I do it, I’m doing it forever. Know that.
One think I want to add to that is, I think a lot of people put too much on marriage and not enough on happiness. I’m happy, anybody that is in my life is happy…at least some of the days [laughs]. I just want to be happy and I think it’s important for you to protect your happiness and to love yourself, because then you can love other people the right way.”
He definitely makes some deep statements, especially the part about loving yourself first. But I do hope that Cassie is aware that she shouldn’t be expecting too much too soon from her man. He’s not sure if he’s ready for all the responsibilities that come with the title of husband (sounds similar to what Oprah said about marriage), and we can respect that. At least he’s honest. Check out his answer to the question by watching the clip of that episode over at the show’s website. The conversation about marriage occurs at the 19:00 mark.
TV personality and actor Terrence J. (nee Jenkins) has written his first book, The Wealth of My Mother’s Wisdom, expressing his gratitude to his mother Lisa for the encouragement and guidance she’s given him over the years. Terrence also pulls in friend Trey Songz to share lessons and advice from his own mother.
Here, the E! News co-anchor shares seven tidbits we didn’t know about him in relation to his mom.
1. I was born into welfare. But I watched my mom build a business without going to college; without doing a lot of the things she wanted to do because she made sacrifices for me.
2. I’ve never tried to get in touch with my biological father [Terrence was raised by his stepfather]. Something about him not wanting to be around kinda put an edge on my shoulder. And I don’t mean that in a negative way. It just always gave me the perspective that if somebody didn’t want to be in my life, then it wasn’t worth the time. Obviously I didn’t need him. I had the strength of my mother.
3. My mom never talked ill of my biological father. Once I was old enough to realize that I didn’t know anything about him, she told me that she would tell me whatever I wanted to know.
You can read the rest on ESSENCE.com. Terrence talks about the first thing he did with his first major paycheck and whether or not he considers himself a “mama’s boy.” There’s something about Terrence J. we really like and his success story is great to hear and read about!