All Articles Tagged "essence"
Essence’s favorite cover girl is back front and center on their April 2014 issue and this picture alone tells us why Nia Long is talking about “keeping it sexy after 40.” The mother of two is also discussing her new role in Tyler Perry’s Single Moms Club and, naturally, her own role in real life raising two sons. Nia told the mag of her day-to-day life raising 13-year-old Massai and 2-year-old Kez with boyfriend Ime Udoka:
“I’m not a movie star mom who’s got a private chef, a nanny and a driver. My mantra is, ‘You created this, you can handle it.’”
You certainly can’t be mad at that approach, though the idea of juggling a teen, a toddler, and a job all at once sounds overwhelming just thinking about it. Not for Nia, though, who said:
”I think that if you’re committed to being a great mother, single or not, you’re going to enjoy every moment you have with your children. I love when it’s just the three of us and no one can see how silly we’re acting. The preciousness of it all makes the tough days a little bit easier.”
Nia’s sons would clearly agree. In addition to her feature, the actress’s oldest son Massai also penned a love letter to his mom in Essence, thanking her for all she does for their family, writing:
“You are loving, and are always there for me and my little brother…You have taught me to have a voice and fear nothing but the Lord.”
Essence’s April 2014 issue hits newsstands tomorrow.
Although Missy Elliott hasn’t graced the world with a new album in nearly nine years, she is considered to be one music’s most unique and game-changing female rapper-producers.
According to the LA Times, Elliott recently opened up on Yahoo’s “The Yo Show” about her hiatus from music and revealed that fans might have to hold tight a little longer before she drops another album.
“When I create something, it’s gotta be special and it can’t just be to throw something out there because I feel like I’m Missy,” she explained to Michael Yo via video chat.
To read more about why Missy’s been missing from the game, read the full story at Essence
The ups and downs in the relationships of the women featured on Bravo’s hit reality show Real Housewives of Atlanta instantly become news headlines and social media debates among cast members and fans. We always get to hear what the women have to say, but what about the fellas?
The men on the show, Gregg Leakes who’s recently married NeNe Leakes a second time, Apollo Nida, husband to entertainment lawyer and entrepreneur Phaedra Parks and Peter Thomas who’s married to model and mogul Cynthia Bailey, recently stopped by our offices for a little face time and we couldn’t wait to dig deep with them. We asked about their marriages and what it’s really like having your love spats put on display for the entire world to see.
Read what “The Real Husbands of Atlanta” had to share on Essence.com
For many of us, the missing ingredient to achieving our goals and making our dreams come true isn’t that we lack the ability, capacity or the opportunity. Many times, the problem is a lack of patience.
Here are ways we can actively work to build patience into our lives:
1. Count the Costs: Impatience has a price—and most times, it’s not worth what we pay. Until we examine the impact of our past actions, we won’t change.
2. Practice Daily Quiet Time: Practicing daily quiet time will produce results, clarity and focus. When we slow ourselves down, we actually speed up the process of holistic success. Sometimes we go hard, because we don’t want to hear what our hearts and lives are telling us. We have to pump the brakes if we want to slow overwhelm and get to real living!
3. Get Manual: Patience has to be built into our personal culture—especially since we lean so heavily on technology for convenience and speed. Try doing small things like actually learning a phone number and dialing it rather than relying on speed dial. Pull out a cookbook and make a meal that takes time. These are small, but important things that help us slow down and actually be present with our actions. Take time to think and enjoy!
Coach Felicia continues to break our lives down to help us build them back up and you can read more over on ESSENCE.com.
In the New Year, I am challenging myself to recognize and deal with the negative patterns in my life. I’d like to invite you to do the same. Ask yourself:
1. What Keeps Repeating In My Life? We need start by identifying the patterns in our lives and relationships. Are we always the ones people turn to but don’t have anyone to call when we’re on the edge? Do we consistently find ourselves in dead-end jobs or relationships? Wherever we find deja-vu, it’s imperative that we dig in to learn the lesson. Take a moment to think about your 2013, what negative experiences did you find yourself repeating?
2. What Change Do I Want to See? It’s not enough to know what we want to be changed from—what do we want to be changed into? Repeating patterns can be comfortable, but comfort doesn’t always result in our happiness or fulfillment. We can change our behaviors when we count the cost of actions that don’t benefit us. We must pay the price now for what we want in the future. A precise vision of the future will give us the strength to act at a higher level than we feel capable.
3. How Can I Get There? Disruption is necessary to change a pattern. We must purposely do things differently.
You can read the rest over on ESSENCE.com, including Coach Felicia’s affirmation. Have you noticed that you repeat the same behavior but look for a different outcome? Are you actively looking to change it?
Dear Dr. Sherry,
I’m a 28-year-old woman who is engaged to the love of her life. My problem is my fiancé’s friendship with his ex. I know that he communicates with her from time-to-time. He says they are just friends, but a couple of the messages don’t seem platonic to me. He says she knows he’s just joking. Maybe I’m a prude or I’m too strict but I believe that when one is in a committed relationship, some jokes are just not appropriate to crack with the opposite sex. I mean, if I had a romantic dream about an ex, I wouldn’t share it with them as a joke because I’m engaged.
We’ve fought about this a lot lately, and now he expects me to be fine with it all because he said he would not encourage communication with her. In addition, he doesn’t trust me because I checked his Facebook and Yahoo mail account for evidence when he left them open. He has told me that he’ll make sure I have no access to any gadget of his – even a common laptop, which I use only when I don’t have mine.
Recently, I had a sleepless, panicky night all because of their friendship. My fiancé was very concerned and he suggested I seek counseling and put the wedding on hold until I overcome these feelings. I feel my reaction is normal and my request to either cut off all communication or to tell her to cool it because I’m not comfortable with the friendship isn’t really too much to ask.
Am I really overreacting?
Read Dr. Sherry’s response over on Esssence.com.
A new study on fathers’ involvement with their children reveals that Black men are more active in their child’s life than ever.
Out of the Black fathers who live with their children, 75 percent help with tasks like bathing and diapering, compared to 60 percent White and 45 percent Latino. The study, which involved 3,900 men between 2006 and 2010, also showed that 35 percent of Black fathers who lived with their young children said they read to them daily, compared to 30 percent of White dads and 22 precent of Latino dads.
In addition, the study found that Black fathers who lived outside of the house were at least as involved as other dads who didn’t live with their kids, or more so.
You can vote and check out other people’s point of view over on ESSENCE.com. What do you think? Do Black fathers get a bad rep? Is it that one bad apple spoiling the bunch thing?
You may have noticed that Ledisi doing a new thang. In her performance during the “Black Girls Rock” award show, the soul singer strutted in cut out leggings and stilettos, complete with choreography. Several people’s jaws dropped. So what’s up with the change?
Ledisi spoke with Essence about her new attitude and her sexed up image.
See what she had to say:
ESSENCE.com: Wow, we’re seeing a different you with this album cover. A sexier Ledisi. What’s going on?
Ledisi: I’ve always been like this, I just haven’t shown it. I decided I wanted to scare myself into my greater self and do things I had never done before like taking a dance class and getting a nutritionist. I wanted to fully understand what was going on with me mentally. I started thinking I need to get the love I deserve and it starts with me loving on me. I really focused in on me. Now I’m really excited about what I have going on with me, which is I’m really loving on me and having the kind of love I deserve. It’s just radiating out, that’s all. All natural.
ESSENCE.com: Tell us about the moment you decided this is the album cover shot.
Ledisi: My original shot was even more risqué than what you see. It all came together naturally and it felt and looked like me. I was happy about that. That’s me on that cover and that’s me tongue-in-cheek being like, ‘Hmm-mmm.” I wanted people to look in my face. You never see my face. You never see my eyes. You never see me happy and illuminating. This cover is natural, it’s earthy and you can still see my face. I’ve always been heard and never seen. I once asked a lady, ‘When you think of Ledisi, what do you think?’ And she said, ‘We hear you, but we don’t remember what you look like.’ That’s why I’m making the changes I’m making. You will hear me and you will see me. It’s because image-wise I haven’t shown that.
ESSENCE.com: What do you say to people who think it may be a little risqué for your image?
Ledisi: I’ve already gotten them, from the pictures I’ve been posting on Instagram to my outfit at Black Girls Rock! It’s their box of who I am, and I get it. It’s okay because I know you love me, but I’m an artist and we grow and change to create art. This is me naturally. I didn’t go and say, ‘Oh I want to be like this person.’ No, this is my life I’m talking about. I decided I wanted to make changes for me. My hairstylist said why don’t you do something more vibrant with your hair? She gradually worked with me on that. Or, I decided to wear a red lip because I felt like it. It wasn’t the label telling me. That was me. They were shocked. This is all me changing because I wanted to. And it felt good for me. And I felt sensual. Other women, from my dance teacher to the other curvy girls in the class, made me feel sensual. Finally, showing some legs. I never showed my legs. I was always covered. And if you saw my shows you would have seen this side of me. I’ve always been this person.
I don’t know where you are in life, but believe me—life will change. How it changes will be determined by your thoughts and perspective. Great things are happening… so let’s position ourselves for success. Our New Year begins today! If you don’t want to miss it, start by:
1. Choosing Your Focus: We have to think on a higher level than our current experience if we want to see change. A famine mentality focuses on lack. If you focus on your hunger, your desperation will be your undoing.
2. Honoring Your Instincts: …Radical change requires radical action. All around me—even from complete strangers—the same message keeps coming… be ready! I can ignore it and stay the same. Or, I can heed it and believe for a difference. I choose to believe.
3. Walking in Integrity: When we compromise our integrity, we trade pieces of our soul for something temporal. We can’t even enjoy the trade, because what we lose is far more than what we gain. There are no short cuts to greatness—anyone who tells us differently is milking our pain for their own gain.
You’ve got to read the rest of Coach Felicia’s word over on ESSENCE.com. Her tips could be the exact boost you need to jumpstart a new life!
…While fear might motivate us to action, we will burn out if we stay there. Here are some tips to move from fear to faith:
1. Find a Point of Contact: …We are stronger than the moments of life that we face!
2. Get Understanding: Knowledge is power! But it must be filtered through the lens of possibility. True understanding comes when we handle information properly. Miracles happen every day. There are people who have defied medical odds to live longer than anyone expected. Then there are still others who used their diagnosis to live fuller in the time that remained and in doing so transformed others. Knowledge only paints half the picture but possibility completes it.
3. Talk it Out: When we fear something, our instinct is to protect ourselves from it. Sometimes we simply need to talk ourselves through fear to discover what lies on the other side. For instance, we may be afraid of knowing how someone we are interested in feels about us. Not knowing protects us from rejection. But in truth, finding out actually frees us to move on and forward—with or without that person. Next time, fear knocks…answer the door and have the conversation.
You can read more on how Coach Felicia got over her own fear over on ESSENCE.com. How have you been able to combat fear? Whether it be a next step in life, an unspoken conversation that needs to happen or anything else, do you just rip the band-aid off?