Source: Oxygen.com

Who knew that a one-hour special about one man and his family would be such a negative lightning rod? (Well, honestly, I think most people with sense could have told Oxygen that many folks wouldn’t take too kindly to the show at all when they were trying to develop the plot…)

After telling you about the show, the backlash over it, and the petition that was created on Change.org to get it canceled (remember, this is just a one-hour special, not a full-fledged reality series–as of right now), the folks over at Oxygen have finally decided to come out of hiding and speak on their special, “All My Babies’ Mamas.” The show is set to show off the complications, and positive aspects of Shawty Lo’s life as a man with 11 children by 10 women, and the network in their response wanted to re-emphasize that this show is about one particular man and his family, not a particular “demographic” (black folks) and trying to stereotype how their families are made up in general. In a statement released to Radar Online, Oxygen Media had this to say:

“Oxygen’s one-hour special in development is not meant to be a stereotypical representation of everyday life for any one demographic or cross section of society. It is a look at one unique family and their complicated, intertwined life. Oxygen Media’s diverse team of creative executives will continue developing the show with this point of view.”

So by the sound of that statement, Oxygen has no plans on canceling the special as of yet, and they don’t seem to understand the uproar over it all. But the woman who spearheaded the petition on Change.org, Sabrina Lamb, can break it down for them very easily. In an interview done by Essence.com, we were introduced to Lamb, and she explained why she feels the special needs to be canceled and we need to stop being so accepting of the ratch images that are consistently displayed on television of us:

ESSENCE.COM: If aired, what message do you feel this show will send our children?
LAMB: Number one, it’s okay to have unprotected sex. Number two, that you don’t own your own bodies. And three, that’s okay to have children and then see each other as the enemy. In the clip the women have nicknames like “the angry baby mama” or “the crazy baby mama.” Those children are witness to this. Children are waiting for an adult to speak up and say enough is enough.

In her interview, Lamb also commented that if the show does air, she and MANY of her friends will go to protest in front of the Oxygen Media building. And while some would say, “If you don’t like it, don’t watch it,” Lamb feels as though not only is the show worth lambasting because of the stereotypes it pushes, but because it’s actually also detrimental to the children on it:

“We have to start to draw a line in the sand. We have to decide who we really are, and while we’re deciding that, can we at least understand that our first duty is to protect and nurture our children? We don’t lobby. We’ll call a talk show, but we won’t go after advertisers. This has to stop.”

So there you have it folks, everyone is still at odds about whether this show is a positive or a negative. But we’ll have to wait and see if the petitions and the threats of boycotting advertisers will really make Oxygen budge on all this. Do you think it will?

Source: Shutterstock

From Essence 

Q: I’m always super pressed, and I overanalyze everything when it comes to men. I know I am an attractive female who could get a man, but when it comes to a man showing me attention, I’m almost starving over it. Instead of letting the attraction and chemistry build naturally, I do whatever I can to make him want to go out with me. I overanalyze everything from the jokes men make to trying to figure out why they were a few minutes late, blaming it on them trying to play me or just doing me a favor by going out with me. All of this then puts me in a mood I shouldn’t be in. My sisters call me “thirsty,” because whenever I start liking a guy I really like him. I don’t fall in love, but I do fall in deep, like to the point where everything he does gets me excited. When I’m not dating, I’m looking for dates, and I will sometimes settle for a night out (or a few) with a guy I know is no good for me just to have some sort of dating life. Dr. Sherry, why am I so pressed?

Sincerely,
Ms. So Anxious

See what celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, who you’ve seen on the Braxton Family Values, has to say about this woman’s situation on Essence.com.

Source: Shutterstock

From Essence.com

Q: Hello. I’m 22 years old and currently dating someone who is five years older than me. We have been dating for about a year and a half now and we love and care deeply for each other. My concern, however, is about our future together. He still lives at home with his mother, has no job and has changed his college major at least four times. He’s not very independent. His biggest dream is to run track and field.

Chasing after dreams is cool but I really don’t see that happening for him like he does because he’s been chasing this dream for a while now. I know I don’t have myself totally together and I find that all right for now. I’m 22 years old, and I’m not wasting time to get on my feet. I recently joined the military, and I’m sticking to the major I started off with. I fear that I will get ahead of him and I will pass him by. My mother stresses so much about getting with a guy who is more on my level, but he’s so sweet and caring. He has loved me like no other guy has loved me before; he has a big heart, he’s sensitive and a God-fearing guy.

He may not be able to take care of me financially, but when I’m feeling down, he’s there for me completely. I see myself benefiting from him through other ways. I know he’ll make a great husband, father and partner. I’m doing what I have to do for myself, so I don’t need to rely on a man. My question is: Does it matter most what someone’s current status is in life is, or ultimately, who they really are?

See what celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, who you’ve seen on the Braxton Family Values, has to say about this woman’s situation on Essence.com.

*Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.

On “The Game,” Wendy Raquel Robinson’s character may have trouble when it comes to men, but that’s not the case for the actress in real life.

She recently dished to Essence.com about all the things she loves about her Mr. Fix It and how she found him just as she made peace with being alone and hasn’t been happier since they tied the knot nine years ago.

Here are a few highlights of the interview:

How she met her husband and how he proposed

I am a huge Lakers fan. It was the finals and there was a little soiree at my house. A friend of mine who doesn’t drive asked if it was okay to bring a friend over because he was his ride. I said sure and they came over. The guys were all talking and the ladies were all talking and, you know, he’s holding court, and I’m like, who’s this guy? We just started talking and the rest was history. It doesn’t get any simpler than that. It was really just a connection at first sight and we were both at the right places in our lives and it just happened.

We had been dating for about two years and things were going really, really great. I was actually doing a theater show in North Carolina and he was going to go with me to see a play I was doing. It was my birthday and we’re packing up and he goes, “I want you to see this video I made.” I was like, “A video?” So we’re watching and he’s just singing happy birthday on the video. I’m thinking, oh how cute, and then at the end of the video he goes, “By the way, will you marry me?” We started running around the house like little eight-year-olds. He had the ring and everything. It was really a 3D proposal. That was really special. Back then, this was all on VHS. It was so sweet.

What she adores about him

Honey, he can fix anything. Do you hear me? Anything. I got a man, man, man, man. I mean he can fix literally anything. He’s MacGyver times one hundred. Not even just with the technical stuff, but any apparatus around the house. He really gets into it and he loves that challenge. And, he is the communicator in the relationship. He loves to talk and he loves to work it out, whereas sometimes I agree to disagree. Usually he’s like, “No, we have to talk this out.” So I love that about him. He doesn’t let me go into my shell.

Advice for women who don’t believe in love

I thought that I was that woman once upon a time. I had gone through a devastating breakup. It was an on-again, off-again relationship that I was in for about 13 years. After I was finally over it, I was just done. I was living alone and got me a dog and I was just doing everything that I wanted to do. I wasn’t concerned about a relationship, or looking for someone to complete me. Of course, it’s always nice to have someone to share it with, but I’ve been blessed to have family, great friends, and a wonderful circle, so I was moving forward and I wasn’t looking for it.

Then when I stopped looking for it, it happened. It happened because I was in a place where I could receive it. I do believe in doing the work and getting yourself together because love can be right in your face, but if you’re not ready to receive it, it will be wasted.

Are you a fan of Wendy Raquel Robinson? What do you think about her journey to love?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

• It’s Bad Boy For Life? Artists Whose Talents Are/Were Wasted Under Bad Boy Records
• Should I Confess My Affair?
• Can D’Angelo Make A Comeback Without Bringing Swexy Back?
• Ask a Very Smart Brotha: Freshmen Woes & Possessive Types
• S*** Black Girls Say vs. S*** White Girls Say to Black Girls
• Six Fashion Trends Sistas Need to Change. Now.

Essence Atkins is beaming with joy as a new mommy. She welcomed her son, Varro Blair Mendez, on Christmas day and recently told Essence.com that giving birth is the most ‘astonishing’ thing she’s ever experienced.

“I’ll have these moments where I look at [my son] and I just can’t believe he’s mine.”

“You go through all this suffering, but at the end of it, look what God gives you,” she said.

“People are usually so derogatory towards celebrities on social media. But this is one of the times where I just feel nothing but love. I’m grateful.”

Just after a friend sent me an email about how Hot she felt after a pole dancing class, I see “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star Nene Leakes dishing on how she felt empowered back in her stripper days.

She told Essence.com, “I sold a fantasy, not p***y. I felt powerful. I made a ton of money and I couldn’t stop. I went and bought a brand new car, I was paying for my son’s tuition. I thought of the men as an ATM machine.” Now I know why she gets along with Kandi.

Is it just me, or has she told this story before? Anyway, I’m sure there’s a huge diff between playing on the pole and working it, but I can see how you could get caught up in the money and providing a fantasy to men willing to turn over their paychecks for a tease. What do think about Nene’s comments. Do you support pole dancing, either for real or sport?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

• The 6 Most Difficult Men To Date
• More than Dinner and a Movie: 7 Creative and Fun Date Ideas
• “JET” Magazine Over the Years
• Does Darker Skin Equal More Sexual Availability?
• Ask The Luv Coach: “I’m in Love With Him, But He’s Homeless”
• Offline Rules For Online Dating… The Etiquette for E-Love
• Splurge-Worthy Wraps (Plus Wallet-Friendly Alternatives)

In an exclusive interview with Essence.com, actress Essence Atkins, who I can’t believe is 39 now, discusses her pregnancy and recently celebrating her two-year anniversary with husband Jaime Mendez, who—shocker—she met on match.com. She says:

“I put myself in the frame of mind where I wasn’t going to waste any more time. I met my husband at 36; a lot of people have questioned it like, ‘she’s so desperate.’ I didn’t want to waste any more time. After 35, I felt like I’d been in these relationships, some were great, some weren’t so great, but they weren’t right partnerships. So I did this inventory, I’m not going to just settle for anyone, and at this point I don’t have anymore time to waste if I wanted to have children.

“I started realizing that when I went out on dates, that if this person wasn’t partner potential, to just stop at two dates, or a date. What online dating did was offer me the opportunity to go out with a bunch of different people from different industries, I really didn’t want to limit myself with people who are in the entertainment industry. I wanted to date outside of the business but I didn’t have a network outside of the industry in L.A. I felt like going through the online system, it gave me permission to go out with someone once or twice and say, ‘you know it was really nice meeting you but I don’t feel any romantic chemistry,’ and everyone just kind of accepts that as ‘OK, thank you.’”

I really appreciate Essence opening up about online dating which is still seen as a bit taboo in some respects. Nothing irks me more than when I tell someone I’m single and they ask, “well have you tried that eHarmony or Match.com,” to which I reply, “No. I’m not that desperate, yet.”

I don’t know what it is about online dating, but I just haven’t gotten used to the concept—kind of like my mother being on Facebook. I guess I still prefer to meet a man the old-fashioned way, or perhaps online dating feels like an admission that you can’t meet anyone in person. It also sort of kills the opportunity for a cute “how did you meet” story. But if you told me Idris Elba was going to start looking for a wife online, I’d be the first one signing up for an unlimited subscription.

What do you think about Essence opening up on finding her husband online? Have you had any success with Internet dating sites?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire

• 7 Reasons He’s Not Ready To Tie the Knot
• Drizzy Mi Amor: Drake’s Most Romantic Lyrics
• How To Deal With Info You Didn’t WANT To Know About Your Man
• TV One Pulls Fat Jokes on Plus-Size Comedienne Erica Watson
• The Curious Case Of The Two Ambers

comScore Shows More Unique Visitors, Household Income, and Engagement than Competitors for Fastest-Growing African American Women’s Lifestyle Brand

June 8, 2011 – New York, NY – Moguldom Media Group, the leading digital media company that develops premium online publishing brands serving African American audiences, today announced that its MadameNoire.com property, the premier digital destination for savvy, upwardly mobile African American women, now outperforms every other brand in its category according to comScore results for May 2011. In addition to being the fastest-growing lifestyle brand for African American women, MadameNoire.com already serves more pages per visit than most women lifestyle brands, an indication of its highly engaged audience.

MadameNoire.com’s unique online content includes a balanced mix of news, lifestyle, entertainment, and business coverage from the perspective of African American women. MadameNoire.com has also launched a new online video program, “She’s the Boss,” co-produced with Moguldom Studios, which focuses on African American women entrepreneurs and business leaders. Clearly filling a need previously unmet by longer-running traditional competitors such as HelloBeautiful and Essence.com, MadameNoire has achieved tremendous growth. Still less than a year old, the site already reaches more than 1.1 million unique visitors and serves 10 million pageviews per month (Google Analytics). The most recent comScore results show performance that leaves every competitor far behind, including average household income between $75,000-$100,000 and over 910,000 unique visitors.

Said Demetria Irwin, Managing Editor of MadameNoire.com, “MadameNoire represents a fresh, authentic, and passionate voice for black women of the Michelle Obama generation and beyond. We have worked tirelessly and invested in premium content that captures the diversity of issues that confront today’s African American women. We also believe in entertaining them while they are on the site. Mainstream media organizations and slow-moving legacy African American media brands have neglected and under-invested in our audience, so we feel it’s essential for us to add sustainable value in the space.”

Judene Walden, recently hired as Executive Vice President of the Moguldom Women division, said, “The organic growth we have seen on MadameNoire has been phenomenal. The Moguldom approach is to ‘go hard or go home’ and it’s obviously paying off as we expand our portfolio of properties. We’re hungry and there is a lot of work to do, as we have very ambitious plans for positioning MadameNoire as the premiere African American Women’s lifestyle brand across video, mobile, social, and off-line events. Our recent success on MadameNoire is part of an overall triple-threat strategy for Moguldom to be the leading African American digital media company offering authentic and premium content at scale across mobile, video, and social.”

About Moguldom Media Group
Moguldom Media Group is the world’s largest network of owned and operated digital brands focusing on African Americans as measured by comScore online reach. Our premium online brands capture the pulse of diverse segments of African Americans and provide rich, compelling experiences across multiple media channels including online video, mobile, and social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter. As owners and operators of our own digital properties and content, we are uniquely positioned to drive innovation and value for both our audiences and the advertisers seeking to reach them.

by De’Juan Galloway

Joy Collins, Essence Communication Inc.'s GM

The old adage “black don’t crack,” might be best applied to Essence Magazine. As the publication celebrates its 40th anniversary, the brand’s exponential growth illustrates that it only gets better with time. Joy Collins, Essence Communication Inc.’s general manager is one of the leaders guiding the company’s strategic growth. Since 2008, Collins has been instrumental in sustaining the company in a challenged economic climate and increasing the Essence Music Festival’s attendance by 37% from 2008 to 2009. She is certainly no stranger to success; during her time at NBC Universal as vice president of business development, she played a pivotal role in brokering  the $2.7 billion acquisition of Telemundo Communications. In her current position, the Harvard graduate combines her professional experience and personal identity as an African-American women to make Essence’s case in the boardroom.  While en route to New Orleans to prepare for The Essence Music Festival, she spoke to TAP about this year’s festivities, her career and the future of the Essence brand.

What is a typical day like for you?

Most of my days are different.  I come in on Monday and assess the goals that we are trying to accomplish for the week. As the general manager, I partner with the leadership teams on various strategic and financial initiatives that ultimately generate growth for Essence. My main [targets] are revenue and building strategies to extend Essence into a full multimedia company. Weekly,  I look at the goals to help us meet our overarching business, strategic initiatives and map the steps to get us there. So, my job combines strategy, planning and execution. There are a lot of  meetings and conference calls to ensure we are hitting  our goals and executing properly.

What is it like to play a key role in the most reputable publication for African-American women?

It’s an honor. When I accepted General Manager position two years ago, I knew this position would be more than just a job. I knew that it would be a role where I could contribute to building up and giving back to the African-American community. Everyday I come in it’s about being able to provide a service to people and being able to live a purpose larger than myself, that’s really what motivates me. Day-to-day the challenges are monumental and executing our visions is no easy task but what keeps me going is the amazing team I work with and being an ambassador for Essence and all of its extensions that serve the African-American community each and everyday.

How would you characterize your leadership style?

As a leader, I set the vision and am a model to the staff. I equip them with the tools to perform their job well, step aside and empower them. I also provide balanced feedback and objectives. So while I hold everyone accountable for achieving the objectives we set out to accomplish, I also focus on rewarding the team for the things they have achieved.

Are you involved in the trenches or do you rely on the directors to stay in the know of each department’s activities?

Essence is large brand with a very small and passionate team. What that means is that in addition to getting involved in the strategy, and setting the vision and goals, I am oftentimes a part of executing it. I get to roll up my sleeves and work hand in hand with the staff, who are extremely talented and gifted. Consequently, I see how they’re executing things, how they’re accomplishing their tasks and how they delegate to their team. Everyday is not only a process of modeling a better way of doing things but  also being that channel to provide feedback to the team as to how we can be more effective and efficient.

How has the digital shift impacted the Essence brand?

There is no doubt that digital media is becoming a huge part of consumers’ daily activities. We have research that reveals that African-American women over index in their consumption of technology versus the women in the general market. Essence is a service provider, so we know that we have to be prepared to provide information and entertainment content through devices that she is getting them from, which is digital media. So we endeavor constantly to provide those mechanisms and Essence.com is a perfect example of this. We have a very robust site that provides entertainment , news, topicality and has mobile extensions. We challenge ourselves to be on the pulse of what our consumers are seeking. Essence.com is doing very well and is an integral part of the Essence brand as we celebrate our 40th anniversary.

Have any advertisers showed preference of where to spend their dollars?

Our advertisers know that while digital is heavily consumed by African-American women,  the magazine over indexes the level of engagement that we provide versus our competitive set. What the magazine allows our brand to relay to our audience is still very important–the physical publication is still a valuable part of the media mix for a lot of advertisers. Digital has allowed them to augment how they are already hitting the African-American women through Essence Magazine. Oftentimes, our advertisers have integrated buys, where we create a program for them around a theme and they will express that theme in the magazine and on Essence.com it now includes digital whereas one  time it did not. The Essence Music Festival is  a third leg to such a buy and a property that is reserved for our largest clients across the company.

Are there any initiatives in place to give Essence a more global presence?

Yes, we are always trying to find relevant ways to extend the brand. We will be looking for opportunities to create international licensing businesses for our magazine where its applicable and makes sense. Additionally, we will be looking for ways to extend the brand into opportunities that are relevant for audiences abroad.  For example, film and television are areas we can take content that is very ubiquitous, universal in nature and extend into other regions. The Essence Music Festival is another example where music is a universal experience and the artists we feature at the festival have very notable careers and are known across the globe. Our goal is to take this content and place it into those global markets. We are actually looking into an opportunity to have The Essence Musical Festival broadcast in London and other regions.

by De’Juan Galloway

Are you friends with any of your favorite African-American brands on Facebook? Perhaps you follow them on Twitter or you’re a loyal visitor to their websites. Whatever connection you have with them, more than likely, this young, innovative entrepreneur has been instrumental in building that brand online. Meet Ken Gibbs, a techie at heart who has taken part in developing some of the most important African-American media properties online including Essence.com, AOL Black Voices and Interactive One.  He is one who believes that African-Americans should not be waiting on a Fortune 500 company to create media products for them. Instead, he believes they should take advantage of entrepreneurial opportunities in our age of do-it-yourself media.  He has certainly done so himself with his online strategy company,  Moving Market. We recently caught up with Gibbs to discuss his varied experiences with, and his insight on, digital media brands, trends and innovations.

TAP: What drew your interest in technology?
It has been a passion of mine since I was a fourth grader in Massachusetts, where I was a part of one of the first public school classes to get computers. Right away I loved it—I won a graphics contest [making animated movies] on Logo, which was an early graphics program. Fast forward about ten years and then came the internet and AOL. The opportunity and possibility to go anywhere and do anything, without being physically there, was fascinating.

TAP: What were some of your first professional experiences with online technology?
I started out at Design News, a technology magazine. This was a time when companies were going online. I followed my skill set and passion as a technical writer, writing on programs [about Rockets]. I was a young guy coming out of school looking for ways to get rich quick and repay student loans and the opportunities as a result of the dot com boom seemed very attractive. I started applying online to web companies that were based in Massachusetts. I ended up at Africana.com as a staff writer and eventually became the music and entertainment editor. Shortly after I joined the company, we were purchased by Time Warner. It was like my dream come true. I began at an African-American start up that got the opportunity to operate on a larger scale. Following the Africana.com acquisition, Time Warner merged with AOL and AOL bought Black Voices from The Tribune Company. Black Voices at that time was the second largest online African-American community. There was no Myspace or Facebook. The Tribune Company did not offer much content so they combined their community with Africana’s content. As a result, we built AOL Black Voices into the number one leading product it is today.

TAP: What are some other significant experiences you’ve had in the digital space?
After I left Black Voices I went to Interactive One and helped the company with Blackplanet.com, Newsone.com, TheUrbanDaily.com and worked on a strategy to bring their radio stations online. Subsequent to Interactive One, I joined Essence.com as the site development director. I helped them with the relaunch of Essence.com. The relaunch was already in process when I joined, so I mainly helped them with digital initiatives they had planned for the coming months. They did not have a strong digital presence so this was one of the things I tackled. We achieved record ticket sales for The Essence Music Festival through digital only awareness.

Essence also has The Real Black Network, a vertical ad network that, prior to Essence’s management, did not have the best reputation with publishers and was managed by a third party organization. Essence saw the opportunity to repair the image in the digital public. The intention was for The Real Black Network to benefit Essence not only from a revenue stand point, but from a traffic and digital positioning stand point as well. I rebuilt RealBlack.com and managed the site in house and got publishers to bring in traffic to Essence.com. This accounted for 45% of Essence.com’s traffic as of December 2009.

TAP: With such an extensive resume in the digital space, what are some of the challenges you have encountered? How have you overcome them?
There have been challenges in producing content because producing content online is much different than producing content for a magazine. People are expecting a much more immersive and rich experience. You are no longer working in one medium; you are now working on a platform that is a combination of all available mediums so you need to think of stories that can be told through multiple contexts.

TAP: Is there ever a tug-of-war between traditional media and new digital media at organizations that have both physical and digital products, such as a magazine?
The profits from Essence magazine exceed that of its digital product by far. The publication is what they are known for and it is a powerhouse as a magazine. Because they have somewhat of an older demographic, these readers are more apt to click on a brand in which they have history with than a site that may offer similar content but is unrecognizable to them.What can be frustrating as a professional on the digital side of a traditional publication  is that the publication is still, for now, bringing in the lion’s share of the profit and receives favor. It’s not personal, it’s a matter of business.

TAP: A conversation about new digital media is not complete without discussing social media. How can businesses effectively use social media?
Social media is a just a conversation. In all honesty, if you want to find out who your consumers are and you’re not afraid to have conversation with them in public, that’s what you use it for. Social media is nothing more than a direct conversation with your customer. And how direct it is is up to you as a business. If you have one million followers, do you have the structure on the back-end to answer every tweet or direct message and do you need to? It all depends on the nature of the business.