All Articles Tagged "ending a relationship"
I’m certainly no expert in the art of break-ups. I’ve had to do it a couple of times and it was not fun. I’ve had it done to me before and it wasn’t fun then either. If the breakup comes about as a result of some indiscretion — cheating, lying, he was married or had six baby mamas in hiding, etc. — then no, there is no need for a “nice” break-up. But when you want to end things on good terms, is there really a “nice” way to do it?
The answer is yes.
Some people chicken out and try to act like a jerk so that the other person breaks up with them first. Or they play some kind of game instead of being upfront so they won’t appear to be the bad guy. But while the thought of hurting someone can be daunting, if you respect the other person, you should do what’s right and let them go for their own sake. The key is to do it amicably and maturely. There is an art to dumping someone with dignity and these nine guidelines are here to help you through the messy business of ending a relationship (the correct way).
During a break up there are all sorts of words said and lines dropped. When a once-good relationship is ending, it’s not uncommon for one of the two people involved to drop the “let’s be friends” line. Though it sounds good at the time, being friends after breaking up usually isn’t a wise idea and here are 14 reasons why.
In your mind the relationship is over. Something irreparable has gone wrong, and you’re ready to go your own way. However, before you can officially make yourself a single lady, you’ll have to first breakup with your soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend. When it comes to breaking up, there are some dos and don’ts that you’ll want to keep in mind, otherwise you’ll end up complicating things and making a bad situation even worse. Here are 14 breakup etiquette tips.
Breaking up is hard to do and no matter if you’re the dumper or the dumpee, it’s never an easy situation. During a breakup there are all sorts of emotions flying around and with so many different feelings go on, you may find yourself saying something that you don’t mean, or something that is completely stupid. To make sure that your breakup doesn’t become even worse, here are 14 things to avoid saying.
In a relationship, there is always the risk that it’ll end, either mutually, or because of you, or because of him. Not all relationships have happy endings and sometimes those ends come after plenty of warning signs and red flags. If you’re in a relationship with a guy that is going down-hill, there are some definite signs to look out for. Here are 14 signs that your boyfriend is breaking up with you in the near future.
Are you being too picky? Is this simply a transitional phase in your relationship? Are you PMSing? These are all perfectly normal questions to ask yourself when you’re feeling less-than-great about your relationship. Nobody wants to fall out of love. We fear it so much, that we’ll make an excuse for every single broken thing in our relationship (even when literally every single part of that relationship is broken) to keep up the facade that things are fine. But sometimes you just can’t deny that you have or are falling out of love. And the sooner you face it, the sooner you can move on and fall back in love with somebody new!
No one wants to be the one to call it quits on a relationship but sometimes it’s inevitable. When it comes to breaking up, there are definite wrong and right ways to do it. Here are 14 tips for a breakup that won’t turn hateful, spiteful, or difficult.
Relationships can be extremely hard, and ending them can sometimes be worse, particularly if the relationship was troubling or even abusive. If you’re not careful you can sit back and think/obsess over all the time that you “wasted” on that individual. Remembering times when you were being used, feelings of anger and mentally replaying over and over how that person screwed you over can sometimes lead you to the land of bitterness.
Now don’t get me wrong, you have every right to be mad. If you’ve invested a large amount of time in someone, the relationship went southward and it started to affect the way you see yourself, I’m not trying to rob you of your indignation. I’m trying to help you so that two years after said breakup, you’re not cussing strangers out in the street for wearing the same socks as your ex.
So go ahead, get angry, listen to those empowerment songs, and throw away his/her pictures. But when you get done mourning and being angry, maybe these few things can help you to bypass the bitter feelings so you’re not trapped in a emotional remake of the movie Groundhog Day:
Get it all out – So many times when things go wrong, we end up rehashing them because we haven’t allowed ourselves to really express how we feel. We feed ourselves a falsehood by saying: ”If I don’t think about it then it won’t be that bad.” Actually, it makes it worse. Those dormant feelings will continue to bubble under the surface, just waiting for any opportunity to pop back up. Address how you feel, how things went wrong, why you hate that stupid shirt he/she wore. Get it all out. Once it’s all out, you’ll feel a lot better.
Don’t think about what-ifs – The man who I married (and am now divorcing) was highly sought after at the job where we worked. All most everyday was frustrating for me because I would constantly walk in on these women propositioning him as if I didn’t exist. When we made the decision to end our marriage my mind kept on going back to: ”What if I would have just took a step back and let those women have him? Maybe I wouldn’t be going through what I am right now? They would be the ones angry and running after a toddler by themselves while I’d be living some preposterous hyperbolic lifestyle.”
The problem with all of this is, it wasn’t them. It was me. What’s the point of rehashing what could have been? This is your life, this is what you decided and this what you have to deal with. Now, it might not be pleasant, but thinking about the alternative routes that you should have gone down is only distracting you from making better decisions in the future. Forget the what-ifs, just learn better for tomorrow. Like I’ve read somewhere before: “Life is like a camera, focus on what’s important, capture the good, and develop from the negatives.”
Realize that you’re better without him/her – If the person you were involved with was a class A douche, instead of being bitter about all of the crap he did, be happy that that loser is finally out of your life! Celebrate it! For me being in an emotionally abusive relationship where I wasn’t allowed to see my friends when I wanted to after we broke up I remember sitting back thinking: ”I can’t believe he used to isolate me like that.” Now I can go, see and talk to whoever I want to! My dorm room wasn’t a prison anymore and I finally had the freedom that I didn’t have. Instead of thinking about how much of a jerk he was, see the great things that you now have access to because he’s gone!
Take Yourself Off the Pedestal – Okay, this is going to be a little touchy for some. But, it’s important. Sometimes when you’ve been hurt, you can sometimes go from feeling bad about the situation to feeling bad for ourselves. That’s only a slippery slope to victimization and wallowing in your own self-pity. Yes, what happened to you was horrible, but feeling sorry for yourself is just going to keep you in that terrible space and validate your feelings of bitterness. We’re working away from that.
By Catherine Behan
When a relationship is fizzling out, you know it. The intense chemistry you once had with your partner has shifted, and you spend more time not talking than talking. It isn’t bad but it certainly isn’t good either.
Have you ever stayed in a relationship just for the stuff? For example, do you have a great bed? One woman said she stayed in her relationship just because of a Tempur-Pedic mattress. Do you belong to a country club? Do you own a second home in another state that would no longer be yours if you left the relationship? All of this stuff can tempt you to stay in the relationship even if you know it should be over….
Staying for the stuff is a common choice, and the examples above are true stories of what people choose to stay in relationships for. Are you in a stay-or-go situation? Would you like a hit of psychic wisdom to let you know what to do next? Here are five key questions to consider if you’re wondering if your relationship is over:
1. Do you have any chemistry left? If the red hot Hot chemistry has worn off, how are you feeling about that? Do you miss sex? Believe it or not, some people do not miss sex. It may be hard for you to believe it but in today’s marriages, there are all kinds of compromises that work.
If the chemistry is dead, are there other worthwhile assets in the relationship? Is your partner open to you exploring your sexual satisfaction elsewhere? Can you talk about it? Lack of chemistry and sex does not automatically disqualify your man.
Check out the other four questions you should ask yourself before calling it quits on YourTango.com.
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Are you struggling to overcome the grief of your divorce? Do you feel like a failure for not being able to make your marriage work? Good news: help is on the way.
In this video, Women’s Advocate, Founder of the SWAT Institute and YourTango Expert Crystal Andrus explains that shame associated with divorce is normal. After all, no one ever expects to get divorcde when they decide to get married. However, Crystal says, “you don’t have anything to be ashamed of.”
Her advice? “What I recommend is that you give yourself some time to grieve what you wished it could have been and should have been and ought to have been.”
Find out what this expert had to say about this tricky subject at YourTango.com
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