From Your Tango

Do you scare away the men in your life because you come off as too controlling? Do you want to learn how to take a backseat in your relationships and let the other person lead for a change?

In this video, Relationship & YourTango Expert Jasbina Ahluwalia helps a reader who is often criticized by the men she dates that she’s too controlling. She wants to be able to hold on to her power as a woman but also maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.

See what this expert has to say to this woman at Your Tango.com. 

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Gone are the days when men wore pants and women didn’t. Thanks to women’s suffrage and common sense, women wear what theywant, earn competitive wages and have more to look forward to than being someone’s housewife. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

It’s a liberating time to be a woman, compared to eras past. When it comes to being politically correct, men and women are equals but all that liberation shouldn’t go to a gal’s head. While culture has widened what’s acceptable for a woman, it hasn’t allowed as much wiggle room for men.

While you, and society are upgrading what it means to be a woman, guys are still expected to be MEN. Every woman wants her guy to be a man but many modern ladies struggle to allow him that space. Worse yet, in an effort to be his equal, you may act to rob him of his manhood altogether.

It’s a move every single man fears, and every committed man hates: emasculation. Rather than assume you know that you’re doing (because if you do, he’s in big trouble) view these next slides as the top ways to show a man that being a man don’t mean squat:

Not what you want to do.

Source: blackhealthzone.com

Belittle what he does for a living.

Today, like 1000 years ago, who a man is has been directly tied to what he does for a living i.e. a baker, blacksmith, shepard or financial analyst. If you don’t respect what he does for a living, you need to end it. But if you decide to stick around, know that belittling his profession is like laughing at the size of his penis. His feelings will be hurt and he is going to resent you.

Some women are naturally bossy. Some of us have major alpha personalities. We like to feel in control. That plus an instinctive knack for “nurturing” sometimes creates romantic atomic bombs and, instead being the wife or girlfriend our man needs, we are more like screaming cockatiels—like his mother, telling him what to do, when to do it, how to do it and why your way is best.

Few women are purposely evil, so your behavior has likely gone unnoticed during your weekly self-reflections. That’s where this post comes into play. It’s time to assess whether or not you’re mothering your man: