All Articles Tagged "emasculation"
On The Talk, Jeannie Mai revealed that her husband felt emasculated because of her successful career, and well, her chunkier salary. Mai’s husband’s sentiments, it seems, are shared by many other men with significant others. Needing to be most prosperous half, “straight men feel bad about themselves when their girlfriends succeed,” NYMag reports.
According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers discovered that men often compare their achievements to their girlfriends’ or wives’ success. If he presumes that his woman is more successful than himself, he will interpret his own lifework as failure.
‘It makes sense that a man might feel threatened if his girlfriend outperforms him in something they’re doing together, such as trying to lose weight,’ said the study’s lead author, Kate Ratliff, of the University of Florida. While the study finds that a man’s self-esteem often correlates with his woman’s successes or failures, “the same does not ring true for women – they do thrive in the shadow of a successful husband,” DailyMail said.
“When comparing all the results, the researchers found that it didn’t matter if the achievements or failures were social, intellectual or related to participants’ own successes or failures – men subconsciously still felt worse about themselves when their partner succeeded than when she failed,” DailyMail added.
How did the researchers manage to come up with these conclusions? Well, in one experiment, couples were given a test of problem solving and intelligence. The investigators then told partners that their significant-other scored in either the top or bottom 12 percent of all test-takers. They later asked how they felt about their partner scoring either high or low on the test—and of course—all of them claimed that they suffered no loss of self-esteem. So researchers implicitly tested their self-esteem by using a computer program that “tracked how quickly people associate good and bad words with themselves,” DailyMail said. The participants were not told about their own test performance.
According to NYMag, here’s what they found:
No one would admit to feeling differently as a result of their partner’s performance, but men whose partners scored in the top 12 percent showed “significantly lower implicit self-esteem” than those whose partners had scored in the bottom 12 percent. [...] Women’s personal self-esteem was not affected by their partner’s test score, but they felt better about the relationship when their partner was successful.
The study was conducted with 896 Dutch and American participants with five experiments.
Ever experience a man that felt intimidated by your success?
From Your Tango
Do you scare away the men in your life because you come off as too controlling? Do you want to learn how to take a backseat in your relationships and let the other person lead for a change?
In this video, Relationship & YourTango Expert Jasbina Ahluwalia helps a reader who is often criticized by the men she dates that she’s too controlling. She wants to be able to hold on to her power as a woman but also maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.
See what this expert has to say to this woman at Your Tango.com.
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Gone are the days when men wore pants and women didn’t. Thanks to women’s suffrage and common sense, women wear what theywant, earn competitive wages and have more to look forward to than being someone’s housewife. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
It’s a liberating time to be a woman, compared to eras past. When it comes to being politically correct, men and women are equals but all that liberation shouldn’t go to a gal’s head. While culture has widened what’s acceptable for a woman, it hasn’t allowed as much wiggle room for men.
While you, and society are upgrading what it means to be a woman, guys are still expected to be MEN. Every woman wants her guy to be a man but many modern ladies struggle to allow him that space. Worse yet, in an effort to be his equal, you may act to rob him of his manhood altogether.
It’s a move every single man fears, and every committed man hates: emasculation. Rather than assume you know that you’re doing (because if you do, he’s in big trouble) view these next slides as the top ways to show a man that being a man don’t mean squat:
Not what you want to do.
Belittle what he does for a living.
Today, like 1000 years ago, who a man is has been directly tied to what he does for a living i.e. a baker, blacksmith, shepard or financial analyst. If you don’t respect what he does for a living, you need to end it. But if you decide to stick around, know that belittling his profession is like laughing at the size of his penis. His feelings will be hurt and he is going to resent you.
Some women are naturally bossy. Some of us have major alpha personalities. We like to feel in control. That plus an instinctive knack for “nurturing” sometimes creates romantic atomic bombs and, instead being the wife or girlfriend our man needs, we are more like screaming cockatiels—like his mother, telling him what to do, when to do it, how to do it and why your way is best.
Few women are purposely evil, so your behavior has likely gone unnoticed during your weekly self-reflections. That’s where this post comes into play. It’s time to assess whether or not you’re mothering your man: