I think it was late 2011 that a Hip-Hop blog called Herfection put me on to Azealia Banks. For me, I was reeled in by a song called “L8R” and “The Chill$,” but like many others, it wasn’t until I heard the track “212″ that I knew homegirl was going to be a star. The song was infectious and raw at the same time, as the chick who called her self “Young Rapunxel” due to the long weaves sent out a warning to other women in the game: “What you gon’ do when I appear?/W-when-when I premiere/B***h, the end of your lives are near/This s**t been mine, mine!” To think back on my first experience listening to that track, letting the pulsating beat and lyrics give me goosebumps, it was all so refreshing, especially at a time when I was a bit over the whole Nicki Minaj adoration, wasn’t buying into the Iggy Azalea hype  and felt as though the whole female Hip-Hop game was flatlining as a whole, especially when Lil Kim came back to do auto-tune. She could change things, I thought. After “212″ came the whole 1991 EP, and more memorable joints. I was impressed because she was bold and different and could fit in with those who were all about gritty lyricism, and the white folks who live for that dance, techno ish. Oh yeah, she was different.

But in reality, she’s not as different as I once thought. In fact, as the buzz surrounding her name becomes more centered around negativity and beef every other week, I’ve learned that Azealia Banks is like any other rapper, if not one very famous rapper in particular. 50 Cent. They both have an undeniable love for drama that goes so far that after a while, it seems they only do it for attention and not principle, and at this point, it’s pretty tired. Especially when aside from those under 25, European kids and New York fans, when you bring up her name most people can only think of her mouth and not her music. And we see where being known for your mouth and not your craft got 50 after a while…in the land of irrelevancy (and yes, you can still be rich and irrelevant, fyi).

The list of people she has been at odds with is extremely long for no reason. It includes the aforementioned Iggy Azalea, T.I., Jim Jones, female rapper Kreayshawn, female rapper Angel Haze, Perez Hilton, producer Diplo, producer Baauer (behind that damn “Harlem Shake” craze), rock band Stone Roses, Nicki Minaj and Lil Kim (though both never jumped at her bait), her ex-boyfriend and manager, rapper Young Unique and as of late, Rita Ora of course. Most of the time, when I would watch Banks try to make a fool out of a colleague turned frenemy, or rant about something, I would just think to myself, “That’s just how Azealia is! She’s a firestarter!” However, after Sunday night’s drama with Ora, and Banks exposing a private conversation between the two on her social media, I couldn’t help but sit back and think, “Wow…what an a**hole.” And I only say that because just a week or so ago, Banks posted a picture of herself all hugged up with Ora, all while throwing shade her way by captioning the pic, “Me With The Third Lady Of Roc Nation.” I couldn’t help but let the “PHONY” bells ring out in my ears…

While her beefs have often made people laugh, and the one with Hilton allegedly even helped her sell more of her singles, I couldn’t help but feel that her antics with Ora crossed a line. She looked less like the talented Harlem-ite with the slick knack for words that I had come to be a fan of, and more of a big a** bully playing into some high school s**t who needed to be knocked down a few notches. In all honesty, for all the talent she has, she hasn’t come SO far that she can start burning bridges and pissing off people in the industry over the pettiest of things. For that reason alone, I’m starting to fear that Banks’ career could come to a screeching halt before it even gets started. If she’s not coming crazy at people for claiming New York, she’s arguing with others for their use of the word “vamp,” trying to tear down artists who are way more established than her (see her one-sided beef with Lil Kim) or publicly embarrassing producers who helped her put out some of her biggest hits. Bad idea. While it’s all good to “keep it real” on folks every once in a while, you never know who the people you cut off are connected to and what opportunities they can make or break for a sista in the future because of the negative reputation someone like her relishes in having (wonder if that alleged feature she did for the new Beyoncé album is really going to come to fruition now…). And if you don’t think being labeled as “difficult” can hold you back to the fullest, just ask ya boy Terrence Howard, who has been whining about people trying to “blacklist” him for years for being hardheaded on the set and behind-the-scenes of Iron Man.

While I’ve been riding for Banks for a minute now, I can say that a part of me wanted to throw in the towel this past weekend. I’m so tired of watching women in the music industry act as though there can only be one diva and feed into extra negative a** stereotypes of black women (as she does the angry one pretty well) and women as a whole. If she used all the energy she does trying to expose people’s emails and texts via Instagram and Twitter to finish an actual studio album, she would be on the top of the Hip-Hop game. However, she’s still putting together mixtapes, calling people all sorts of b***hes on social media and scaring away some she could use in her corner. Like rapper Eve, who might have said it best when it comes to Azealia Banks as a whole: “I like her wordplay. I think she actually can rhyme, I just don’t like the drama. That bothers me.” She might be making money, but she’s not making enough to keep on this negative path and thinking the mainstream will let her in. Most musicians are two steps away from living back with their mothers, jumping on reality TV as a safety net and ending up on our Where Are They Now? lists. By all means, I get that she doesn’t give a f**k, but it might be time that she starts before she sabotages her own greatness.

Photo by Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP

America’s favorite case study of familial fame and dysfunction made its way back to the headlines last weekend. Fresh off driveway disputes over the late King of Pop’s estate this summer, the latest Jackson family gossip has LaToya Jackson stepping up to take the heirs of the family fortune under her wing. According to reports, LaToya signed all three of her brother’s children to her Ja-Tail enterprises talent agency. Her nieces and nephews would be the agency’s only clients. LaToya later denied the claims.

It’s tempting to judge the Jacksons. But we have to remember, when money’s involved it’s always about more than money. Money triggers emotions. Add in family drama and income equality and it’s easy to understand how things repeatedly get out of hand.

The breadwinner of the family seems like the best role to be in in all this mess, but the position comes with responsibility and stress. Just ask Michael and Janet. Money gives you more power in business and family. An imbalance of power means one thing – drama.

Even if you haven’t eclipsed your family’s earnings yet, it’s probably something you should start preparing for if it’s in your future. Women are increasingly becoming the breadwinners of their households. And the income gap between rich and poor continues to grow.

We’ve combed the web for advice from financial and relationship experts to help you navigate the rocky terrain where family and funds overlap. Paris Jackson, this one’s for you.

Understand That Money Makes People Crazy

Don’t take it personally when your sister feels you owe it to her to pay her credit card bill, or your cousin tells your aunty you’ve changed. Psychiatrists have proven that people generally feel worse about themselves the more they feel they earn less and have lower social rank than those around them. Try and be empathetic to the emotional impact your difference in wealth has on your family.

Have A Plan For Your Money, Honey

When you experience an increase in wealth, the first step is one of adjustment and planning. Decide what type of life you want to live and the personal financial goals you want to set for yourself. Don’t think about your family during this stage. This is your money, so take care of you first. You can’t help anybody if you’re broke too.

Empower, Don’t Enable

Money doesn’t fix everything. If a family member comes to you with a need, discuss other options that could remedy their problem. Asking for money is a simple solution, but it might not be the best. Use your wealth to empower your family to be self-sufficient rather than taking care of them. That goes for friends, too. Learn from MC Hammer and his 40-member entourage.

Give What You Can & Don’t Keep Score

Only lend money you can afford to lose. If you won’t miss the money, just give it as gift. Money is a notorious relationship destroyer. Avoid feeling bitter about a transaction later by being upfront about your ability to part with the money, and the other person’s ability to pay it back. Furthermore, communicate! Address problems when they arise. If you plan on leaving your money to your kids and giving your siblings the cold shoulder, say that while you’re alive.  A lot of money problems are made worse because people are so uncomfortable talking about them.

—

C. Cleveland covers professional development topics and entrepreneurial rebels who blaze their own career paths. She explores these stories and more on The Red Read, Twitter (@CleveInTheCity) and Facebook (/MyReadIsRed).

Source: Hudsonequipment.ca

It’s 2:00 in the afternoon and since I woke up this morning I’ve managed to text two people, e-mail six, read over thirty tweets and Facebook statuses, visit four blogs but actually interact with not a single living, breathing being but my Pitbull Boxer mix.

If you’re like me your iPhone may as well be an extension of one of your limbs. (Well actually I’m still Team Blackberry, but you get my drift.) There’s very little many of us do without consulting our cell phone first.  They keep us company and from looking like a complete social outcast when we are in an unfamiliar situation; you can only be so awkward when you are too busy being updated by @Uberfacts, right? (I don’t know about you but I feel a little bit cooler since learning that you are more likely to be killed by a vending machine than you are to hit the Mega Millions jackpot.)  Because of cell phones instead of actually doing paperwork at my job, I can first text my bestie and repeatedly tell her how much I am not looking forward to all of the paperwork I have to do.  And let’s not forget the greatest gift that Apple technology has offered mankind: I can share every thought that goes through my head with millions of strangers as well as post pictures of the incredibly “savory” meal I am about to eat while thinking it, only to realize the next day what I thought sounded so profound was actually kind of dumb and I actually meant nauseating when I take a look at the savory meal I posted.

I’m being sarcastic obviously, but the truth is technology has “conveniently” given us more time and opportunities to ruin perfectly good relationships, as if we weren’t doing a great enough job before the world was blessed with Apple products.  We’re far past butt dials and accidentally texting the person you’re talking smack about.  People are single handedly ruining their relationships (and careers) thanks to screen grabs, sub-tweeting and “leaked” pics.  I confess there are times when I can’t imagine what I did before the people closest to me were a mere ten digits away at any given time.  What did people do when they caught flat tires in the middle of the interstate late at night before cell phone towers?  And beyond safety, I appreciate that social networking sites give me the perfect amount of connection I want to have to people in high school that weren’t in my circle, but I still care enough about to congratulate them on their first born.  But I’d be lying if I didn’t say social in-the-flesh interaction hasn’t taken a severe hit from the digital world.  At their worst, cell phones have made the otherwise shy into complete hermits who confuse stalking with flirting.

If any of the following apply to you, your cell phone could be ruining your relationship, one text at a time:

This year was full of drama from all sides, but some celebrities took the foolishness way too far; consequently, we’ll never look at them the same again. Here are 15 famous folks we lost respect for in 2012 and who we hope can get their ish together in 2013.

Photo Credit: WENN.com

Too Short

Dirty lyrics are one thing, but Short crossed the line when he gave gross and probably illegal advice to young men on how to take it “to the hole.”

The details are too gross to include here and, thankfully, XXL took the video off their website shortly after this was published, but the “fatherly guidance” included graphic details on what to do with your fingers when you’re alone with a girl. I don’t know how anyone could buy another XXL or Too Short track after that.

Well, “hate” might just be a slightly aggressive verb and I don’t think I actually want help.  As the holidays come and go and I sit and think on family dinners of holidays past and present, I can’t help but wonder when did our big “over-the- trolley-tracks-and-through-the-hood-to-Grandmother’s-house-we-go” get-togethers come to an end? Oh, I think I remember now. It was right around the time when my aunts and uncles had one Miller Genuine Draft too many and someone ended up thrown down the staircase, cussed out, or in cuffs.

I’m sure millions of people around the world can rejoice in my shameless truth: sometimes family just doesn’t know how to act. Why can’t we get together without someone bringing up some childhood resentment of how Granddaddy never let them keep that Cocker Spaniel when they were little? This is obviously why they have issues with responsibility as an adult (Or, that’s what they at least claim).  It’s crazy the connections people can make between past baggage and present flaws under the influence of an elevated blood alcohol level. In my family, add a dash of sarcasm, an implied insult or two and some open wounds and you’ll end up with…well, real open wounds.  And unfortunately one of the biggest lessons my extended family has taught me is that sometimes strangers can treat you better than your own blood.

I mean seriously, some families can’t function without drama.  Almost every family has an uncle, a cousin, an in-law, just somebody that always comes to family gatherings on some BS.  Family is supposed to be proud of one another.  The best part of having family is so they can cheer you on from the sidelines when you accomplish things and have your back when strangers are throwing shade.  But that becomes a challenge when people of the same bloodline are too busy being envious when someone else gets a new car, a promotion at work, a degree, or anything that they feel makes them “better”.  It could be a new Toyota Corolla, getting a promotion to manager and completing a damn quilting class at the community center, and instead of getting some support from your family on a job well done, some members can’t do anything but be mad. It’s as if some people can’t go day to day without finding a problem with something.  Everyone’s so insecure about themselves and their importance in life that they want to make everyone else trying to find their role in this life feel small.  I don’t understand this type of behavior from grown people that were raised together.

Unfortunately, at first, all the blood-related backbiting made me suspicious at the slightest display of any type of intimate bond.  I never noticed how comfortable I had actually become in gossip, resentment and passive aggression until I attended my first family dinner hosted by my partner’s uncle.  Here were people that politely passed the potatoes and even after a few glasses of wine could joke and laugh without anyone’s feelings getting hurt.  His uncle even gave me “parting” gifts: some seashell bracelets from their most recent family cruise. It wasn’t exactly my style, but a sweet gesture nonetheless.

Sadly though, I remember coming home feeling uncomfortable without truly knowing why.  I found myself searching for reasons why his family couldn’t be perfect and why, of course, I was sure they secretly hated each other behind all of the hugs and hollow laughter.  I stomped around the house all evening while my boyfriend assumed I was PMS’ing until I finally blurted out, “They don’t have to like me. I’m used to people not liking me, what else they got?” (Of course no one had done anything to convey that message) He responded, “It must be hard to be in an environment where people genuinely love each other.”

Wow, can you say “5-minute therapy session”?  I never realized how much I was used to tension and drama until he pointed out my obvious discomfort around a family who actually acts like a positive family.

The best thing my mom ever did was isolate us from the negativity so that my sis and I would never grow up second guessing ourselves or feeling guilty about our accomplishments.  Unfortunately, the results were cousins that I wouldn’t recognize walking down the street, aunts and uncles that pass messages through mutual acquaintances before they’ll pick up the phone to call, and me being skeptical of truly genuine family relationships.  But I must be honest, things were kind of nice when people left their issues at home and left before they started feeling their liquor.  There were dance contests between cousins, my mom and dad doing the two-step to something (anything) by Smokey Robinson, and the solidarity that seeing a cousin’s new girlfriend or boyfriend’s squirm brought. But things changed.

It’s true; no one has a perfect family, but imperfection doesn’t have to equal hate.  And just because my experiences with my extended family are for the most part dysfunctional, that doesn’t mean that dysfunction dwells and thrives in most families.  It has taken me a while to lower my defenses, but gradually I am getting to a point where I can laugh and truly open up to other people without feeling like as soon as my back is turned they will brainstorm reasons why they can’t stand me.  It’s sad that I can’t have that closeness with my own family, but I’m happy that I have the chance to experience all that with someone else’s.

It’s because of my mother that I know I don’t need anyone’s approval but my own and that I should be the only one in control of my happiness,  As black women, there’s a pride we naturally carry in our ability to be independent. Sometimes we wear other people’s hate and jealousy as a badge of honor and use it as an excuse to have an anticipated attitude problem and build boundaries so that no one can tell how vulnerable and insecure we actually are.  We love to stand out on our own, and believe that anyone who isn’t behind us secretly wants to be us or see us fail.  But at the end of the day, don’t we all just want to be accepted by someone? Especially family? And that can be hard when you don’t even feel like you belong when around your own blood.  But try to do yourself a favor sometimes and allow yourself to be accepted by someone.  Everyone isn’t hating on you, and in fact, there are people who want to get to know you and show you love, if only you allowed them to.

Toya Sharee is a community health  educator  and   parenting education coordinator who has a passion  for helping  young women  build  their self-esteem and make  well-informed choices  about their sexual  health. She  also  advocates for women’s  reproductive rights and blogs about  everything  from  beauty to love  and relationships. Follow her on Twitter   @TheTrueTSharee or visit  her blog Bullets  and  Blessings .

Photo Credit: WENN.com

Wendy Williams has built her career on being the chick that you love to hate. She throws shade, hates, back bites and generally acts a fool on screen — and off. So, in honor of her propensity for controversy, let’s take a quick look at 15 of Wendy’s shadiest moments.

Source: WENN

The relationship between Jackie Christie and Laura Govan took a peculiar turn during this season of “Basketball Wives LA”. Considering the way that Jackie stirred the pot and kicked up drama last season, many suspected that Laura would keep her distance. Instead, she welcomed Jackie back with open arms. Too bad those open ams were attached to the hands that held a dagger. The dagger that Laura would ultimately use to stab Jackie in the back. In a recent interview with VH1, the reality star discusses how she was impacted by Laura’s betrayal. Check out some of the highlights:

On coming to the realization that Laura was out to get her

“I found out that a friend that I thought was my friend, which is Laura, really isn’t. So that’s hurtful and there’s a lot of stuff I want to clear up with her.”

“With Laura, knowing the type of person she is, meaning that she can be very, very sneaky and manipulative, I expected something weird because she was being very nice when we were around each other, but then when the girls would come around they would say “She doesn’t like you, she’s saying these things.” It was like, well I haven’t seen it, so I really wanted to be determined to let things play out and if it was really true that’s what she was doing. I wasn’t not believing the girls, but I wanted to see for myself. I feel like I’m the most mature one and I feel like I’m kind of the leader, so I need to lead by example and that is not listen to hearsay and react. So I said “Let me give Laura a chance, what I wish they would have given me last year, and show them how to be a friend, so that’s what I’d done. And now watching it’s surprising, it’s disappointing, and just it’s shocking basically.”

On Laura the infamous conversation between Laura and her daughter

 ”One thing that I don’t like is for someone to come and try to make something that’s really bad, because of their own situation and we have a great relationship.”

“With my daughters, we’ve talked and there’s total forgiveness and I totally understand Channi and her point of view and where she was at that time and so I don’t have any anger towards her. I mean there’s still things to work out, because my daughters are very temperamental and I feel like they are spoiled, but that’s not a bad thing and I tried to make sure they had the kind of life that they would want as kids and all the things they wanted.”

On the current status of she and Laura’s relationship

“I have not seen her since New Orleans…I tweeted something and she kind of retweeted me, so I don’t know if that was her way of saying it’s all good, but for me it’s more or less that I want to clear this up.”

“I’m not sure how I’m going to feel when I do see her, because I saw a few things that she’s done that she lied about again, so it’s kind of like, why do you continuously lie, where are you really trying to get at? Let’s talk about why do you think you need to pay me back for something I didn’t do things that your sister done or anybody else for that matter, that’s your guys’ business. Why are you putting me in the middle? I’m not the one you normally put in the middle.”

It’s great that Jackie finally saw the light and realized that Laura was trying to do her in. But, why does it seem like she would still be willing to kiss and make up Laura even after all of the shade Laura has tossed her way this season?

What do you think of Laura and Jackie’s dysfunctional relationship? Should she just move on?

Jazmine Denise is a news writer for madamenoire.com. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise

Shutterstock

Did you ever live on campus with a roommate? Move in with a best friend? Or even live with someone you met on Craigslist? Well, if you fall into any one those categories, you’ve definitely experienced your share of annoying roommate habits! Here are some of the most annoying roommate habits that will make you go crazy!

Remember the shows All That and Kenan and Kel, starring friends Kenan Thompson and Kel Williams? Well, don’t expect to see them do any other work together anytime soon because according to Kel, Kenan wants nothing to do with him.

TMZ caught up with Kel when they found out his former partner in comedy is working on a new pilot with NBC.  Since they worked together in the past, TMZ asked Kel if he would be making an appearance on the show.  Kel reportedly told the crew, “The truth is, Kenan does not want to be seen with me in any form of media or even have my name mentioned around him.”  Further, he told TMZ that the guys, who at one point were the epitome of best friends, were supposed to reunite for a magazine interview. However, Kenan pulled out at the last minute.

Kel insists he isn’t upset about it and understands that Kenan is probably trying to distance himself from Kel so he can make a name for himself.  It seems he’s been fairly successful because he’s been part of theSaturday Night Live cast for quite some time.  Kel, on the other hand, has remained very lowkey in Hollywood.

Finally, Kel says he’s not opposed to a reunion of some sort because he knows that many fans are always asking when that will happen.  But he says he doesn’t see it ever happening because of how Kenan really feels.

Interesting.  Usually when there’s bad blood on one or both sides, both parties know why there’s such tension. Kel seems to be a little oblivious as to the true reason Kenan doesn’t want to be bothered. It’s possible that something else happened and Kel doesn’t want to say and Kenan has just moved on.

I mean…I mean…I don’t even know.

Well, if you have nothing else to do with your Black Friday night, you might want to get a snack and turn to the IFC Channel (yes, you probably have that station and don’t even know it) because “Trapped in the Closet” is on its way back.  Yes, “the Kellz” found his creative juices (if that’s what you want to call it) and is now ready present chapters 9,056-42,500.  Of course, I’m exaggerating but it will be chapters 23-37 and that’s probably 14 chapters too many.

No word on what twists and turns the story will take us on this time but if its anything like where he last left off, R. Kelly has probably gone off the deep end. When speaking on it, Kelly said that while he was in the studio, different ideas and characters kept coming to mind so he knew he had to do it.  Well, I suppose, Mr. Kelly.

Did you watch the first 22 chapters? If so, will you entertain yourself by watching chapters 23-37?