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Source: Freddy O

I swear whenever you make a comeback, somebody always tries to break you back down. Jaleel White’s ex-girlfriend and mother of his 2-year-old daughter, Bridget Hardy, has come out with some pretty harsh allegations against the child actor that I find to be a little suspect. I’m not saying they’re not true because I’m still clinging to Jaleel’s image as Urkel on “Family Matters,” but for one, she gave her “exclusive” story to Star magazine of all publications, and two, why are you suddenly breaking this news now? Oh, I know, because he’s on “Dancing with the Stars.”

Bridget told Star Jaleel was abusive, saying once when she confronted him about evidence she found of him cheating on his phone, like naked pictures and suggestive texts, “He hit me across the chest area.” In another incident, the fight was much more intense.

“He pushed me into the toilet, and it broke,” she said. “Water went everywhere, through the walls and even to the kitchen downstairs.”

Jaleel has strongly denied any wrongdoing and he hasn’t been given any domestic abuse charges but that hasn’t stopped Bridget from making more allegations about his emotional abuse and his infidelity.

“He told me I’m not working; I have no money; I’m white trash. None of it was true,” she said, before claiming he tried to bribe her into getting out of his life so he could “maintain his playboy image.”

“He texted me and offered me $200,000 to leave our daughter with him and have me go and start my own family. He basically tried to pay me off. I went home screaming and said, ‘We’re done.’”

Jaleel apparently took her words literally because Bridget said when she returned home with her daughter from a planned trip to Seattle she was locked out of the house she shared with him and all her belongings were in storage.

As for the million dollar question of why she’s speaking up now, Bridget said this:

“I was always protecting him and keeping quiet for him. I know he felt bad.”

I can pretty much guarantee he feels worse now. Who do you think is telling the truth in this situation?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Source: www.businessinsider.com

I know burgers don’t sell themselves, but referencing Chris Brown and Rihanna’s past domestic violence situation to do so seems…pretty s**tty. Just saying.

According to MSNBC, popular restaurant, Chops & Hops in Georgia thought it would be HI-larious to poke fun at domestic violence in reference to a blue cheese steak burger on their Facebook page. They crowned it the “Carribean black and bleu sandwich.” After describing the sandwich, which includes shredded and blackened ribeye, they concluded by saying, “Chris Brown won’t beat you up for eating this unless your name starts with a R and ends with A.“

Really??? That’s also the question the restaurant’s patrons were asking when they saw the short advertisement for the burger on their Facebook page. Many were up in arms, attacking the restaurant, saying it was in poor taste. According to MSNBC, one Facebook commentator said, “Cannot believe you find this appropriate. Was a loyal customer. Will never come back.” Seeing the large backlash, an “apology” was issued:

“The owners of C&H would like to make sure everyone knows that we and our staff DO NOT SUPPORT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Many of us have been affected by domestic violence in some manner and realize that this is no joke. We have been involved in fundraising for Project Safe Team 6 and we fully intend on donating proceeds (times 6 — in honor of Team 6) from the sales of the burger. C&H continues to strive for a community driven, family oriented, great food and great service environment. We will continue to be involved in our community fundraising and charities near and dear to our hearts.”

What I found kind of interesting was that there were also many people running to support the business saying they made a mistake and people should let it go: “Chops & Hops didn’t call the sandwich the “Domestic Violence is Awesome” Burger, they just made fun of some jerk BECAUSE he did something awful, using their art medium – food. Wake up and smell the ground beef, people.”

This one was particularly interesting to me: “Was it in poor taste? YES!! But they’ve apologized and are making amends by donating proceeds. Have YOU never made a mistake in life that you regretted? And are you still being reminded about it? Seriously!” I’m sure Chris is thinking the same thing on a daily basis. Oh, the hypocrisy…But still, what Chops & Hops did was extremely tacky, and they should probably just stick to flipping burgers and grilling meats.

Were people overreacting to their Facebook snafu, or was their behavior unacceptable?

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By Senica Evans

The recent Chris Brown and Rihanna collaboration has placed domestic violence back in the forefront of many people’s minds. Unfortunately, domestic violence, whether physical or verbal, is all too common in our society. It’s in our own backyard and in the homes of our loved ones. It’s the silent relationship killer! The killer that devalues, demeans, alienates, and causes withdrawal from loved ones. Majority of us know a person that falls in this category. It might even be you reading this article. The fear and embarrassment alone might make you think you are bound to this relationship. Well, I have a few tips to help you break free from that mental bondage if you’re going through it.

For many of us, the question is simple: “why doesn’t she just leave?” But, surrounding that clear notion that abuse is bad, is a whole cloud of other emotions and twisted logic that makes it hard for women in abusive relationships to focus on the only thing they need to know: there is no excuse for abuse.

Here is some of that “logic”:

Read the rest of this entry »

There are always people who try to make light of serious situations with inappropriate jokes but some of C Breezy’s fans were going overtime for their boy last night.

After seeing Chris Brown make his comeback—if you can call it that—at the Grammys last night, not one, two, or even a few women referenced the domestic violence case that got him banned from the show three years go, but several called attention to the incident, excusing it because of his sex appeal on stage.

Buzzfeed caught whiff of the foolishness and published 25 Extremely Upsetting Reactions to Chris Brown at the Grammys, and all of the Tweets went a little something like this:

I’d let Chris Brown beat me up anytime #womanbeater

Chris Brown Please Beat Me

I don’t know why Rihanna complained, Chris Brown could beat me up anytime he wanted to.

Ok I’d let Chris Brown punch me in the face

Disgusted yet?

On one hand, I doubt any of these woman really means what she says, on the other, domestic violence is nothing to play with and it’s behavior that’s easily excused by an apology, a promise never to do it again, love, and in this case, good looks.

Despite whatever shock reaction or careless ploy for attention the women who sent these tweets were hoping to get, you can’t help but question the message they’re sending to men about it being OK to be violent toward women, and the blatant disregard for what Rihanna went through, as though she should have been OK with being attacked that night. If any of these girls had ever come close to being in a situation like that, they wouldn’t be asking for it so cavalierly. One can only hope they’re never in that predicament and certainly wouldn’t react the way they say they would.

What do you think about the way women make light of Chris Brown’s domestic violence past? Is there a way to forgive him without making light of the circumstances?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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In the very beginning, new relationships can be exciting and take us on a roller coaster ride. For some, the more tumultuous the twists and turns, the more intrigued we become – mistaking dysfunction for a “normal” relationship. While not all unhealthy relationships involve physical abuse, it’s important to recognize when a partnership no longer makes us feel good about ourselves.

Here are some warning signs to look for to help you get out of a bad situation before you find yourself dangerously in love…

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By the age of 18, 60% of black women have been sexually abused by a black man, according to an exclusive News One report on a study conducted by Black Women’s Blueprint.  The finding is based on data collected from more than 300 black women nationwide.

In the article, Farah Tanis, Co-Founder of the New York-based organization and co-author of the study, points out that just seven years ago, a similar study conducted by The Black Women’s Health Imperative found the rate to be 40%. “That means there is an increase and we need to stop neglecting that issue,” she said.

One way her organization is hoping to address the problem head on is by advocating for language that specifically allocates funds to communities of color to be added to legislation introduced this week that would reinstate the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). Although VAWA does include language that allots “grants for outreach and services to under-served populations, no racial language is written into the act because Federal law prohibits legislation that earmarks government funding based on race. In 2005, Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich.)  unsuccessfully fought for race-specific language to be kept in a final draft of the act when it was being reauthorized.

Traditionally, smaller domestic violence organizations have had greater success helping women of color, says Rita Smith, Executive Director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

“Reports from these local communities to their national representatives have made it clear for some time that victims who are Latino, African American, Asian and Native American have not been served adequately by mainstream programs. For some communities it is important to establish services that address the cultural, spiritual, or immigration status needs of victims, and while some mainstream programs attempt to respond to those needs, they are not universally addressing them in sufficient numbers.”

Rep. Hilda Solis (D-Calif.) agrees, but says she’s often been in domestic violence sessions with mostly black women where, despite her years of experience with women of color, she was forced to take a back seat to a young white women who perhaps held a graduate degree in the field, but still couldn’t relate to the victims culturally or emotionally.

“By addressing domestic violence in these communities in a way that understands their culture and honors their values, we greatly increase the chances of making a difference for women of color who are being abused,” she said.

The advocates are calling for black women to write and call their congressmen to support the reauthorization of VAWA, but they note that black women often get hung up on one point of their proposed language that includes encouraging and educating black men in particular about domestic and sexual violence.

Kereen Odate, Acting Director at the Center for Women’s Development at Medgar Evers College in New York, says black women often fear they are “vilifying the black man” if they discuss such issues.

In leiu of the alarming rate of abuse black women have been subjected to, Tanis says it’s time for us to get over that hump. “Its critical, whether or not we feel comfortable talking and doing something about it.”

Are you surprised by the large number of black girls who have been abused by the age of 18? Do you think speaking out against sexual and domestic abuse vilifies black men?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

You can add domestic abuse to the list of ills Kim Kardashian has extolled on Kris Humphries—at least as far as Dr. Drew is concerned. Scrolling around online, I saw a CNN segment of the king of celebrity interventions claiming that Kim physically abused Kris as he replayed a clip of the reality star punching her new hubby on the season premier of “Kim and Kourtney Take New York.” Admittedly, I immediately rolled my eyes at the allegation but then I thought back to the reaction I had when I saw a clip the previous day of Kris being a little too rough with Kim, and I wondered if there might actually be something there.

On that same episode of “Kim and Kourtney,” Kris tries to snatch a camera from Kim and after she calls him out for being so forceful, he pushes her down on the bed. Almost instantly, he draws her to him and starts kissing her and telling her how cute she looks. Honestly, the scene left a bad taste in my mouth. Although far more mild, the incident still resembled scenes from a violent altercation where a man physically assaults a woman then almost instantly snaps out of attack mode into comforter as if nothing happened. By now, not many of us care what did or didn’t go on between the Humphries over the course of their 72-day marriage, but could their rough housing be (one of many) signs that their marriage was unhealthy—if you believe they didn’t just do it for the money.

A lot of couples tend to playfully exchange “love taps” and most times women don’t feel they have to exercise any restraint since it’s assumed they can’t actually hurt a man no matter how hard they throw a punch. But when the tables turn and a man gets too rough, the entire situation changes. Even in a heated argument, women tend to feel they have a little leeway to get physical when they can’t quite get their point across verbally or they aren’t being taken seriously. For men, on the other hand, there’s a (necessary) zero tolerance policy when it comes to the unsanctified laying on of hands, but is the double standard fair? As Dr. Drew says in his segment, it’s not about whether the abuser can instill physical harm on the other person, it’s about the potential for escalation, which is where women have to be particularly careful. A playful argument could quickly turn violent if a man is pushed too far, and truthfully, it’s not safe or fair to try to test a man in that way.

It’s difficult for me to imagine Kim Kardashian being physically abusive—mostly because of her baby voice and non-confrontational demeanor—but it’s not hard for me to see Kris masking his inclination to get physical as simple roughhousing. With the pending divorce, luckily we don’t have to worry about their situation escalating, but the media attention does serve as a reminder of potential warning signs of abuse.

Do you and your boo regularly play fight? Has one of you ever taken it too far? Do you think people are reading too much into Kris and Kim’s roughhousing or are there definite warning signs there?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

Dear Champ,

I read your responses and your advice/suggestions always seem to be very appropriate and right on, so I figured I’d give this a shot.  Thanks in advance!

I’ve been seeing a guy for about three months now.  We met through an online dating website.  We’ve gone out just about every weekend since we first met up.  When we hang out, it’s usually something low key like grabbing lunch or dinner, going for walks, or hanging out at the house.  He seems cool and we seem quite compatible.  We talk a lot the entire time we’re together, and we communicate frequently throughout the week.  Here’s the problem.  I’m not sure if he’s truly interested in me as a potential mate or if he sees me as just a cool friend and nothing more.  We’ve never had any sort of intimate contact, besides a hug every now and then and our conversations, while very interesting, are typically on a platonic level.  I hesitate to ask him about it because I don’t want him to feel as if I’m rushing things, for example, if he’s just slow and really wants to develop a good friendship with someone before moving to the next step. I’m starting to develop feelings for him, and I’m not sure if I should just continue to be patient or initiate a conversation on where things are going.  We’re both in our late 30s.  What’s your advice?  Thanks in advance!

Sincerely,

Trying to be patient

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Usher’s little brother, James Lackey, appears to have caught a case recently when police were called to his home following reports of a disturbance. When the cops arrived, James was promptly arrested on charges of domestic violence, cruelty to children, and reckless conduct.

Sources claim that James beat up his girlfriend and laid hands on their baby. After two days in jail, he was released on bail of $5,500. Just a few years ago, Usher told MTV to watch out for his younger brother who goes by the stage name JLack. The then-22-year-old was working on an album at the time. Now it appears we need to watch out for Usher’s little bro for other reasons.

Sad. We hope James and his family work this out.

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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