All Articles Tagged "divorce"
Breaking up is hard to do, but would formal ceremonies that offer closure make doing so a little easier? Reverend Gillian Harris of California sure thinks so.
The ordained minister, who holds a master’s degree in spiritual psychology, believes that decoupling ceremonies are a constructive way for people going through divorce to sort through feelings and the trauma that is frequently associated with ending a marriage.
“The decoupling ceremony enables people to shed feelings of victimization, to recognize shared history and to acknowledge and accept the journey into the future with no baggage,” said Rev. Harris.
The ceremonies facilitated by Harris and her team of ministers are designed with the future ex couple in mind. The process usually begins with a consultation that allows the couple to share what led them to divorce in the first place. The actual ceremony is private and only lasts about twenty minutes. Couples are required to “declare their mutual forgiveness and release.” Candles may be used along with crystals for purification and rose quartz for heart chakra energy. Rings may be removed, and children from the marriage are also welcome to witness the service.
“I feel like our love is deeper and more fully expressed now than it ever was before. I’m newly single and going into it blissfully!” declared one of Harris’ clients a few days after her own decoupling ceremony.
The fees for ceremonies facilitated by Harris begin at $250, and while both partners are encouraged to partake in the function, it is not required.
“Often, the emotional toll of divorce weighs heavier on one party, and we accommodate them,” says Harris. “The decoupling ceremony benefits everyone who places equal significance on ending a marriage as they did when they entered it.”
While I was initially skeptical, I have to say that I wouldn’t be completely opposed to a decoupling ceremony. Considering that so many marriages end with one party grasping for closure, it seems that spiritually acknowledging the end of such a major chapter in one’s life would be helpful.
What about you? Would you be open to participating in a decoupling ceremony with your ex?
To learn more about Rev. Harris and the process of decoupling, visit www.blessandclear.com
Brittney Griner’s request for approval to have her pregnant, estranged wife booted from their Arizona home was granted by a Maricopa County Superior Court judge, AZ Central reports.
Griner was granted temporary, exclusive use of the ex couple’s marital home during a telephone conference with the judge last week. According to the order, which was effective immediately, Johnson is required to coordinate a time with Griner to go to the home and collect items belonging to her and her sister. She will not be allowed to take joint items with her such as furniture and other household items because the former couple failed to reach an agreement regarding who gets to keep them.
As previously reported, Johnson is pregnant with twins conceived using IVF procedures. She announced her pregnancy less than 24 hours before Griner filed for an annulment—just under a month after the two tied the knot. Weeks prior to the wedding, the pair was arrested for a domestic violence incident that occurred at the Goodyear home.
The plot thickens…
Alvina Anderson, wife of Black-ish star Anthony Anderson, has filed for divorce, according to the New York Daily News.
Earlier in the year, rumors surfaced that the couple had actually split as early as April 2014, when Alvina was noticeably a no-show from the Emmys awards ceremony, of which Anthony was nominated for Best Lead Actor in a Comedy.
On Friday (Sept. 25), the speculations of their split was confirmed by Raina Falcon, a spokeswoman for Anderson. The court filing confirmed that Anthony and Alvina Anderson have been separated for some time.
The high school sweethearts wed in 1995 and have two children together.
As reported by TMZ, Alvina cited irreconcilable differences in the divorce filing.
Unless Rolle puts up a fight, it appears that the split will be pretty cut and dry. In her filing, Price did not request spousal support for either party and explained that there is no community property to be divided. Together, Price and Rolle have two adult children, so there are no custody or child support issues to sort through either.
Price was compelled to put an end to her marriage after the sudden death of her younger sister, who passed away in April of 2014.
“After the untimely death of my sister last year, it weighed on me heavily that this was something we needed to do,” the Grammy-nominated singer said in a statement back in July. “I ultimately made the decision to live the best life I can. I ended things because I didn’t want to compromise what true happiness was anymore. There are no hard feelings, and I will love Jeff until the day I die!”
As previously reported, the couple will be putting an end to their business relationship as well. Price has plans to sing about the split on her forthcoming album, Sing, Pray, Love Vol. 2: Pray.
I don’t know if you all can tell or not, but I’m a pretty big optimist. During raining days, I just think: “The land is getting nurtured.” When I get a hole in my sock, and my toe starts poking through and it begins to hurt, I think: “Great! An opportunity to go shopping.” There are very few things that can make this gal feel down.
But, I have to be honest, I’ve been a little less enthusiastic when it comes to love/affection/attraction and all of those other things. As the president of the Bitter Broads Community, I’ve been eagerly counting down the days until my divorce will be completely finalized (SOON!), and have scoffed at the idea of even feeling attracted to anyone ever again.
I’ve been on my grind, working, getting stuff done; a relationship for me isn’t a necessity, it’s a luxury that I’m not trying to find.
If I’m honest, 50% of the reason is because I am too busy, and don’t feel inclined to be in a relationship right now. The other 50% is because I’m scared.
Unless you’ve been in the same position before, it’s a bit daunting when after being married to someone, it’s all over.
Any sane person who gets married thinks that it’s going to be a lasting thing; you’re going to beat those statistical odds of divorce, and you and your mate are going to sail into perpetual twilight together.
So once you do become part of the divorce statistics, it can, in a way, harden you on the idea of being in a relationship again.
Now, I’m not one of those people who takes frustrations of my exes out on every member of the opposite sex, but being in a relationship just became obsolete to me.
I was okay with this being a way of life for a few years now. I pictured that after my daughter goes off to college, it’ll be me, my career, and my cats… all four of us, and that was fine for me.
It wasn’t until I realized that I developed a little crush on someone who I see whenever I’m entering and leaving the gym. I honestly didn’t realize that I fancied ol’ boy until I was in the weight area next to him and he asked me how my workout was going. In my standard protocol of some of the men I find attractive I froze like a dear in headlights said: “Uh — good. You?” He responded with something, put his headphones back in and went on his way.
I ignored it, and went back to working out. Until the next day, I ran into him and he made me smile.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not planning on walking down the aisle with anyone again for a very long time, let alone go on a date with anyone, but with our continued interaction, I realized something.
I realized that maybe I was closer to healing from my marriage than I realized. My husband and I have been separated for years. We’ve been discussing our impending divorce, and the classes the state makes us take (since our daughter is a minor), for such a long time that, in a sense, it became the norm. I’m not a “date while I’m separated” person, so thinking about dating wasn’t even an option in my mind. The hope that I had for a future separate from my husband didn’t seem as plausible until we had the papers, and a set, finalized, court date set.
Even then, I was still envisioning a future with me, Caramel, Dr. Pepper, Dorito, and Frito, but now, I realized that I might not be as closed off to sharing that future with another person. Not only that, but I don’t think I can honestly uphold my position as president of The Bitter Broad Community like I used to (sorry ladies!), because time and the possibility of even liking someone new has softened my heart.
As optimistic as I am, I’m still a very big realist. I know that the guy at the gym was probably just being nice, because he’s a nice guy (and I think I was in the way of the weights that he wanted). In fact, I don’t think we’ll ever talk about anything outside of weights and the occasional “excuse me,” when we’re in each other way, so, I’m not reading too much into it.
But, I appreciate the fact that he reminded me that I don’t have to be afraid to love anyone again. Though things didn’t work out with the person who I hoped it would, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have to stop dating completely once the ink is dry. And my unrequited crush taught me that… right after he asked me to hand him the 25’s.
Kendra Koger is open for suggestions of her political replacement @kkoger.
Women not only struggle to get back on track emotionally after a break up–many also find themselves struggling to recover financially. Patrice C. Washington, the Money Maven of the Steve Harvey Morning Show, explains that between a lack of financial resources and limited knowledge of money management, divorce can often add insult to injury.
To ensure financial stability is on the horizon, Washington provides tips on how to rebound financially after divorce:
Get Clear About Your Role: The first step is to be honest with yourself. If you are in a financial mess, outline what you did (or didn’t do) that may have contributed to the issue. Did you participate in frivolous spending? Or were you okay with not knowing what was going on financially? Once you acknowledge your role, you can figure out how to avoid the same type of destructive behavior in the future.
Get Educated On Where You Stand Financially: Once you have a clear picture of how you ended up where you are, it is important to create a plan of action Start by creating a realistic budget based on your new solo income. Next, pull your credit report at annualcredit-report. Make sure everything you see is actually something you recognize as your debt and create your plan for debt elimination.
Get Professional Help: Look into no-cost or low-cost consumer credit counseling in your area by visiting the National Foundation for Credit Counseling at nfcc. You want to find a counselor that can help you set realistic financial goals and get a sound plan in place to meet your unique needs at this delicate stage of life.
For more information, visit Book The Money Maven.
Follow her on Twitter at @SeekWisdomPCW for practical tips on wisdom, wealth & business.
About Patrice Washington
Known as the Wisdom & Wealth Money Maven, Patrice C. Washington is the Founder and CEO of Seek Wisdom Find Wealth, a personal finance training and development firm based in Atlanta, GA. She is a nationally recognized personal finance columnist, television commentator, radio host, author, speaker and leading authority on personal finance, entrepreneurship and success for women and youth. Patrice is the author of an Amazon #1 Best Seller in Personal Finance, Real Money Answers, a series of sensible, straightforward, personal finance books and coaches men and women through her groundbreaking personal finance seminar, the Mindset + Money Master Class. Patrice has been featured in media outlets such as NBC, Black Enterprise, The Huffington Post, Upscale Magazine, SHEEN Magazine, and many more.
It’s one of the more complicated issues in life. Child custody cases are loathed by many, and for good reason. As you and your ex battle it out over issues ranging from visitation to the place the child more regularly calls home, accusations, emotions and feelings are ignited making the situation even more stressful than it already is.
It’s often an out-of-body experience when you find yourself heading to court to butt heads with someone you may have once cared about or loved, but many people find themselves in that exact position. And if you’re a first-timer to the family law system, it can be a daunting, intimidating time for you as you navigate the law, rules, regulations and expectations demanded of you as your and your ex work to come to an agreement about your child.
Fortunately there are various steps you can take to make this process a bit less of a mental angst. No, it won’t be easy but if you have a little patience and follow these steps, you’ll make the journey a bit smoother and fluid for you, your ex and most importantly, your child. Here we lay down the law with five dos and don’ts of child custody cases:
Take your time when deciding on a lawyer – If you can afford a lawyer, that’s great, as they will serve as a great guide and counsel for you during this often-lengthy process. Don’t hire just any one, though. Take time to talk to friends who can refer one and interview several before making your final decision. Very often, lawyers offer free initial consultations, during which, you can gauge whether they are best fit to be your advocate throughout the child custody process.
Exude a compromising spirit – Once your case is opened, you’ll have to make a number of decisions with your ex. Don’t have a ‘my way or the highway’ attitude when making these decisions. Instead, exude compromising spirit by listening to your ex’s side and then coming to a mid-point well both parties are relatively happy.
Know your rights – Don’t solely rely on your lawyer or legal counsel for knowledge of the family law process. Read books and articles on the topic so that you can be knowledgeable of your rights. Knowledge is power and you are your own greatest advocate, so it’s best to come to the table with wisdom and confidence.
Abide by temporary orders – Before a final judgment is made regarding custody, the judge may impose temporary orders for visitation, holiday visits, etc. If this occurs, fully abide by it’s stipulations as ignoring them or disobeying them could lead to you being held in contempt of court, which won’t help your side of the case at all.
Document everything – Does you ex show up late for visits? Do they skip out on parenting time? Document everything, including small details, so that you have proof to provide the judge once you make these allegations. Custody cases are a facts-only process.
Interfere with your child’s visitation time with the other parent – Your child comes first, so it’s important to do what’s best for them. That said, having both parents (so long as alcohol, substance, or physical abuse isn’t an issue) in his or her life is certainly best. Despite your feelings toward your ex, allowing your child to spend as much time as possible with his or her other parent is vital for him or her in the long run.
Be closed-minded – Guess what: You don’t know everything. In fact, when you’re a first-timer in family law, you know relatively nothing about the road ahead. So be open to the advice of your lawyer, family and friends!
Let it overburden you – There are going to be many long days ahead as you filter through documents, attend court cases, mediations, classes, and whatever else your case might entail. As a result, it’s easy to become mentally overwhelmed, but before you do, take a few breaths and remind yourself that this too shall pass. Keep your eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel.
Make decisions without consulting with your lawyer or a legal professional – Want to travel out of town for an extended amount of time? Considering moving to a different state? Switching jobs? Unfortunately, you’re not so free to do such without first consulting your lawyer and letting them advise you on any potential ramifications.
Talk negatively about your ex with your child – You might think your ex is the worst person on the planet, but to your kid they are one of the coolest people alive. Don’t take that from your child. Keep all personal opinions to yourself, or share them with friends and family. Your child’s ears are off limits to negative chatter!
Have any more tips about child custody cases? Share them below!
A decision has been reached in the tumultuous court battle involving Terrence Howard and his ex-wife, Michelle Ghent.
Monday, Judge Thomas Trent Lewis ruled in the “Empire” actor’s favor, deciding that the ex couple’s original spousal support agreement is null and void because Howard signed it under duress.
“Today’s ruling … recognizes that divorce decrees signed with a proverbial gun to one’s head cannot withstand judicial scrutiny,” Howard’s attorney Brian Kramer said in a statement, according to People.
As you may recall, Howard claimed that Ghent forced him to sign the agreement—which granted her 5 years of spousal support when she was really only entitled to six months’ worth—by blackmailing him with photos and videos. Though Judge Lewis is not under the impression that Howard is an innocent victim in all of this, he found Ghent’s actions to be unacceptable.
“Terrence Howard is a bully,” Lewis said while delivering his verdict. “[But] just because you’re a bully, doesn’t mean you can be bullied.”
“I could not be any more pleased by today’s ruling,” Howard said in a statement. “I am grateful to my [attorney and his team,] whose skill and tireless efforts enabled me to secure this terrific ruling from the Court.”
The former couple must now return to court to establish a new spousal support agreement. Only God knows how that’s going to turn out.
According to AZ Central, a judge denied Johnson’s request for “spousal maintenance” Thursday. Johnson will also be required to foot the bill for her own legal fees and car note as the judge also shut down her request that Griner hand over $10,000 to cover her attorney’s expenses and maintenance fees for her Mercedes Benz.
Shortly after news of the ruling broke, Johnson took to Facebook with a subliminal message about things that threaten her inner peace.
“It’s funny how the very moment you find Peace, everyone wants to wake up the Beast #FindYourInnerPeace #BlessedBeyondMeasure #ThankfulForAPeaceOfMind,” she wrote.
As previously reported, Griner and Johnson, who is carrying the estranged couple’s twin girls, are gearing up for divorce court after Griner’s request to annul their 28-day marriage was denied.
The WNBA stars’ next court hearing is September 25.
These celebrities announced that they were calling it quits. But did you know that they were still together? Are these stars thinking about reconciliation, or dragging their feet for other reasons?