All Articles Tagged "divorce"
There’s no secret to getting and staying married. But you do have to work at it. And the best time to start is before you tie the knot. Divorce-proof your marriage while you’re still dating and when you do jump the broom, it’s more likely to be forever.
Wait To Tie The Knot
Love at fist sight is a beautiful thing, but couples who wait three years or more to get engaged are 39% less likely to get divorced.
Divorce is not only emotionally draining, but financially draining as well. Bruce Cameron of Cameron Law PLLC tells The Huffington Post the generally accepted figure for a divorce is anywhere from $15,000 to $20,000. “Basically it costs as much to get unmarried as it does to get married,” says Cameron.
The Root Live: Bring It to the Table recently addressed the issue of how to get divorced without going broke. Host Harriette Cole spoke with certified divorce coach Tamara Harris Robinson, who works with families in the transition to divorce, and Prudential professional ShirleyAnn Robertson.
Here are some of the important takeaways:
Make your divorce process as quick as possible. Robinson found herself in a costly, long-drawn-out divorce. “I filed for divorce in 2007 and like most people my only previous court experience was in traffic court or for jury duty,” says Robinson, whose own experience led her to launch her firm to help other divorced women in transition. Instead of being a smooth process, Robinson’s divorce turned out to be very complicated due to joint business ties and children.
“It ended up in a very expensive six-year process,” she recalls. “When I went through my divorce journey I realized divorce was one thing that could really destroy generational wealth.” In other words, with the cost of divorce lawyers being so high, a long divorce can eat into money you planned on passing down to your children.
Look at ways to cut divorce costs. Robinson suggests going over with your soon to be ex what their priorities are. And look at the things you can negotiate on without a lawyer and then tackle the things that are nonnegotiable with attorneys.
Get into reality. Robertson advises her clients to put their old financial life behind. “This transition is about financially redefining yourself. You had two incomes, you were spending summers in Florida and your were going to have a certain lifestyle.” That’s over. But she adds, if you don’t adjust you will be in a disastrous financial space. “You will be living of one income,” she adds.
“Understand your fantasy and what is you new reality,” adds Robinson. It’s a time to move on.
Do you want to cut all ties? With certain assets, such as pensions, you will have to remain in contact with your ex possibly for a long time. Decide if this is something you want. You may decide instead to take a cash settlement up front in lieu of pension payouts, offers Robinson.
I am 20, husband is 21. We have a daughter together but I have 100% responsibility for her and getting her everything she needs and he won’t watch her unless forced to. He doesn’t want to be married anymore because it’s hard. He recently started smoking and. I refuse to be with someone like that. He’d rather be boyfriend and girlfriend. He parties, stays on phone 24-7 and doesn’t help raise my daughter. He’s barely around me but only for sex or money.He wants a divorce and has been distant for almost 6 months but swears he’s not cheating. I don’t know what to do. Let him go and move on or try to make it work?
Don’t Want A Divorce
Dear Don’t Want A Divorce,
Pittsburgh native Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) is the co-founder of the ridiculously popular VerySmartBrothas.com Their first book “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide To Dating, Mating and Fighting Crime” is available at Amazon.com.
The idea of marriage once seemed like the missing piece of life’s puzzle to me. You know, finding that special someone who will love you for better or worse, a confidant, and the one who makes it all better when the going gets tough. Marriage, I thought, was somewhat of a completion to an almost whole person–finding the perfect person to complement you. I wanted it. I desired it. I anticipated it. That is, until I began talking to married couples.
Chances are, if you’ve had a conversation with someone who’s married, you’ve probably heard the words “marriage takes work.” Okay, I can deal with that. I never assumed it would be easy, but I didn’t think it would be as mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing as some couples make it seem.
“He gets on my nerves most days.”
“I don’t feel appreciated.”
“She nags way too much and never seems happy.”
“I wish I was single.”
These are some of the complaints that I’ve heard. Then comes the advice.
“Wait as long as you can before getting married.”
“Enjoy your single life.”
Seriously, the conversations that I’ve had with the vast majority of married couples has left me feeling one of two ways: confused or thanking God for my single status. Either feeling is not one that I want to associate with marriage. The good has to outweigh the bad, right?
While I admire couples who stay together despite the hard times and don’t opt for the easier alternative (aka, divorce), the less than optimistic attitude of these individuals has almost crushed a single girl’s spirit. Is this really what I have to look forward to? And sheesh, if you are that miserable, does it really make sense to stay?
I want to get married, but I also want to be happy. Can’t I have both? According to some married couples I can’t, but thankfully there are a select few who still give me some level of hope. They admit that marriage can be tough but believe ultimately that it’s worth it. Maybe those are the ones who married their soul mates and the complainers didn’t. Or maybe they went into marriage a bit more optimistic than some of the others who ‘wish they were single.’ I’m not sure.
But what I am sure about is that marriage is supposed to be one of the best events, outside of having a child, that happens in your life. With some married couples it’s the complete opposite. This frightens me, to an extent. While I’m not as optimistic as I once was about marriage (partly because I thought I would be married by now), I’m still hopeful and won’t allow the jaded perceptions of some to completely change my mind.
Ladies and gentleman, it’s officially over! According to Pagesix, Ciara is offically done with Future. The outlet is reporting that the singer gave Future back her engagement ring. The 15-carat emerald-cut engagement ring was designed by Avianne & Co. and valued at $500, 000.
The two were engaged for a short time before rumors of Future cheating began to cloud their relationship. Future was supposedly involved with his stylist and personal assistant. Future and Ciara started dating back in 2012. The songstress gave birth to their son on May 19th, 2014.
Friends close to Ciara also say she’s “definitely not getting back together” with the rapper, and is focused on being a mom to their son, Future Jr.”
Former American Idol judge Randy Jackson is headed for splitsville according to TMZ.
The outlet is reporting that Jackson and his wife Erika of 18 years, have filed for divorced, citing irreconcilable differences.
Erika is pursuing full physical custody of their 17-year-old son Jordan and spousal support. She also would like Mr. Jackson to take care of all of her legal bills and to restore her name to Erika Riker. The former couple married in December 1995 and has two children together. In addition to Jordan and Zoe, Randy also has a child from a previous marriage.
This is the second marriage for Randy. We’re sad to see a couple end things after 18 years together. However in this day and age with must celebrities, we are not surprised.
Seems like Sherri Shepherd will not slow down. Though she’s going through a very public and presumably painful divorce, the former “The View” cohost won’t be held down. She’s continuing to live every ounce of her life.
The Daily Mail is reporting that Shepherd is currently dating R&B singer Johnny Gill.
An alleged friend of Sherri’s told the website that Sherri and Johnny met each other on June 25 when New Edition performed on “The View” and have been seeing each other ever since.
A source at the show said, “Sherri is a big New Edition fan and was excited to have them at the show. But she and Johnny really connected and exchanged personal contact information.”
Reportedly, the two began a long distance relationship using FaceTime to communicate frequently.
And then Johnny took it up a notch, flying Shepherd out to see New Edition in Houston, Virginia Beach and Los Angeles.
Around this time, Sherri tweeted: “Sometimes you need friends who make you laugh…Thank you @RealJohnnyGill for a crazy night!…”
To which Johnny responded: “You’re the best, I had so much fun hanging with you, love love love you!!!”
And apparently, Johnny was in New York when Sherri filmed her last episode of “The View” but stayed off camera because they want to keep their relationship low key for now.
The source said that Sherri told her friends that they’re taking things slowly, saying she enjoys Gill’s companionship but isn’t interested in rushing into anything. And then: “She enjoys having a man who can actually take care of her. [Shade to Lamar.] He’s financially secure and that’s very appealing to her.”
Johnny has never been married but has an eight year old son with his former fiancé.
And you know the madness and mayhem Sherri has gone and is currently going through.
Yesterday, we reported about her ex husband, Lamar Sally rejecting the divorce settlement and child supper offer. And unfortunately the story is only getting worse.
Allegedly, Lamar Sally is threatening to release Sherri’s nude photos if she doesn’t offer to meet his terms.
The Hollywood Gossip is reporting that Lamar is in possession of dozens of nude photos from his ex wife. And sources say Lamar is threatening to release the photos if Sherri doesn’t agree to pay $10,000 a month in child support.
Another source says, Sherri deeply regrets sending the photos to Lamar and did so only because they lived in different cities for much of their relationship.
It’s like a soap opera.
You have to take these unnamed source stories with a grain of salt. And while I’m a bit hesitant to believe that Shepherd and Johnny Gill are dating, it doesn’t seem like too much of a stretch, given his track record, that Lamar Sally would be threatening to release his wife’s nude photos. Dude is grimy.
Anyway, what you do think about Johnny and Sherri as a couple? And if your ex husband were threatening to release your nudes, would you pay up or keep your money and let whatever happens happen?
During an appearance on Dish Nation, Tameka Raymond was quick to correct Ricky Smiley after he called her by her maiden name, Foster.
“My last name is Raymond,” Tameka stated.”
Usher recently stopped by the very same show and was asked whether or not he minds Tameka keeping his name. And although he doesn’t seem to mind Tameka still considering herself a Raymond, he expressed that he hopes she will change her name back once he remarries.
“Ummm, she married me,” Usher said nonchalantly. “I’ll marry again. You know, I don’t want to have a harem. So I just hope that when I do, it’ll be a departure.”
The father of two was also questioned about how he feels about Tameka’s new reality show, “Atlanta Exes.” He expressed that he has no negative feelings about the show, but added that he also hasn’t seen it.
“No, I have no feelings about the show whatsoever. Actually, I haven’t seen it […] I’ve been busy raising kids, and making records and videos.”
I’m not sure if Tameka is willing to return to being a Foster, but I guess they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.
Watch a clip from his interview below. Do you think that Tameka should change her last name if/when Usher marries again?
I can’t help but regard Lamar Sally as one low down dude. I wasn’t in his and Sherri Shepherd’s marriage but his actions since their split seem to show that his main motivation is– and perhaps has always been– “the dollar dollar bills y’all.”
His recent antics have kept him in the media. Remember the divorce diet? And now he’s made another money-hungry move.
According to Radar Online, Sally recently rejected a divorce settlement offer of $100,000. In addition, Shepherd was offering to pay $3,000 in monthly child support for the son a surrogate gave birth to recently. The child is not biologically related to Shepherd.
Shepherd offered the lump sum so she can move on with her life but Sally is not having it and is contesting the couple’s prenup. Under the terms of their prenup, Sally waived any rights to collect spousal support from his estranged wife.
And while she and Sally eventually agreed to have a baby using a surrogate, a source claims that Sally misled Shepherd about the terms of their surrogacy. Apparently, she believes it was alway his intent to sue her for child support.
It very well could have been because Sally rejected the offer, saying he wanted not $3,000 but $10,000 in child support.
A source told Radar that Shepherd thinks this is absolutely ridiculous and refuses to pay it.
At this point, it’s looking like the case will have to be settled in court.
By Nicole Weaver, From YourTango
Many people think they have it all figured out when it comes to divorce. The whole “50 percent of marriages end in divorce” statistic gets thrown around a lot. Everyone knows someone whose family was torn apart by it. But there’s so much more to know about ending marriages. We gathered five things that may change your view about divorce.
1. 50 Percent Of Divorcees Regret Ending Their Marriage
Perhaps this means there is hope after all? A survey asked 2,000 UK men and women who are divorcees, or ended a relationship of at least five years, questions about their feelings over their breakups and the answers were shocking. Half of them said they regret splitting ways, 54 percent had second thoughts, and 42 percent considered giving their relationship another try.
2. The More You Get Remarried, The More Likely You’ll Get Divorced
Some believe you should try and try again when it comes to love, but should the same thought process go to marriage? Statistically the answer is no. According to Divorce Statistics, the divorce rate for a first marriage is between 41 percent to 50 percent, second marriages have a divorce rate of 60 percent to 67 percent, and for third marriage the divorce rate is between 73 percent to 74 percent.
3. Divorce Rates Are The Highest In The South
Since the South is usually pegged as being more tied to tradition and religion, you wouldn’t think it would have that high of a divorce rate. However according to The Census Bureau’s last report comparing the country’s divorce rates, the South has the highest rate of divorce compared to other parts of the country in 2009. Their rate of divorce was 10.2 per 1,000 men and 11.1 per 1,000 women. On the flip side, the Northeast had the lowest rate of divorce.
4. Only ONE U.S. President Has Been Divorced
It’s kind of an unwritten rule that presidents have to appear to have a picture-perfect family. Because of that, only one U.S. President has been divorced, and that man was Ronald Reagan. In 1940 Reagan married actress Jane Wyman but later divorced in 1948. They had a daughter named Maureen and adopted a son named Michael together. He then remarried to an actress named Nancy Davis in 1952. They then had two children, Patricia and Ronald.
Read more about divorce facts at YourTango.com