All Articles Tagged "divorce"

Are More People Happily Married? A Declining Divorce Rate Says Yes

December 3rd, 2014 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

With Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s “consciously uncoupling” and various media outlets talking up the climbing statistics of divorce, we’d think everyone’s splitting up. But The New York Times finds divorce is actually at an all-time low. The publication says the institution of marriage is at its strongest after surviving ceiling-shattering 1970s and early 1980s divorce rates.

The New York Times reports that 70 percent of the marriages that began in the early ‘90s have reached their 15th anniversary (excluding couples in which a spouse died). If this trend continues, two-thirds of those marriages will never be taken to divorce court.

There are a few reasons why divorce has been on a decline: people are deciding to marry later on in life, more contraceptive use and the rise of marriages who are based on love and not finances among them. The NY Times links this to how gender roles have changed over the past century. William Doherty, a marriage therapist and professor of family social services at University of Minnesota, says two-thirds of divorce were initiated by women. The NY Times concludes:

“The people who married soon before the feminist movement were caught in the upheaval. They had married someone who was a good match for the postwar culture but the wrong partner after times changed. Modern marriage is more stable because people are again marrying people suitable to the world in which we live. The delay in marriage is part of the story, allowing people more time to understand what they want in a partner and to find one. The median age for marriage in 1890 was 26 for men and 22 for women. By the 1950s, it had dropped to 23 for men and 20 for women. In 2004, it climbed to 27 for men and 26 for women.”

Headline and Global News (HNGN) reports that divorces can also be influenced by age. If you have a five-year age gap, there’s an 18 percent chance of divorce compared to a three percent chance for couples who have a single year age difference. The percentages rise as age gaps widen between couples, with couples who are 20 years a part divorcing at a 90 percent rate.

It is also reported that despite the statistical research, it does not mean long-lasting marriages are healthy or happy. HNGN says many marriages stay intact because of financial, religious, ethnic or child-rearing reasons.

Oil Executive Ordered To Pay Ex-Wife Nearly $1 Billion, She Wants More

November 15th, 2014 - By Ann Brown
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Harold Hamm and his wife in 2012.  (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images for TIME)

Harold Hamm and his wife in 2012. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images for TIME)

 

Sue Ann Hamm, the woman who just this week was awarded nearly $1 billion in a divorce settlement with her billionaire husband Harold Hamm, is appealing for more because she says that figure is “not equitable.” The decision is one of the largest in US history.

According to Hamm’s lawyer, the settlement allows her ex to keep 94 percent of the $18 billion increase in the value of his shares of Continental Resources, that company for which he serves as CEO. The judge decided that $1.4 billion of that increase is”marital capital.” That was the basis for his decision.

The former Mrs. Hamm, a lawyer and economist, actually once worked for Continental in an executive capacity. She left the company in 2008 and, according to MSN, worked from home at times while caring for the couple’s two children.

The couple had no prenuptial agreement. Harold Hamm founded the company in 1967 and married Sue Ann more than 20 years later. He grew from the being the 13th child of sharecroppers to the richest man in Oklahoma.

h/t Hip Hop Wired

Additional contribution by Tonya Garcia

—————

Originally published November 11, 2014

Wow! This is some divorce settlement.

A wealthy American businessman was ordered to pay his ex-wife almost $1 billion in a divorce settlement. An Oklahoma County judge ordered oil mogul Harold Hamm to hand over $995.5 million to Sue Ann Hamm following a divorce battle that lasted two years and a trial that lasted two months. But Hamm won’t go broke like GinuwineHamm, who is CEO of shale oil producer Continental Resources, is worth about $14 billion. The settlement equals about 7 percent of his worth.

Continental investors were happy with the judgment as they were worried Hamm would be forced to sell off a huge portion of his 68 percent stake in the company, reports The Financial Times.

A third of the divorce settlement must be paid by the end of the year. After that he has to pay $7 million-per-month installments.

“Sue Ann Hamm has already been awarded around $25 million since the case was filed in 2012, the filing says,” reports Reuters. To make sure Hamm pays his former wife, the judge has placed a lien on 20 million shares of Continental stock, according to court papers.

In a statement to Forbes, Hamm seemed happy it was over. He said:

Today Judge Howard Haralson handed down his ruling in the Hamm v. Hamm divorce case.  This has been a long and arduous process and we are appreciative of Judge Harralson and his staff for their dedication and attention to the witnesses and evidence presented.  This is a fair and equitable outcome to the case.

When all is said and done, the Hamm divorce could wind up being the most expensive divorce ever. “And so much for early speculation, roiling since papers were filed in 2012, that this divorce could end up being the costliest of all time.  For now, that title belongs to Russian ‘Fertilizer King’ Dmitry Rybolovlev, who has been ordered to pay wife Elena $4.5 billion,” reports Forbes.

How To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage (While You’re Still Dating)

November 13th, 2014 - By Meg Butler
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There’s no secret to getting and staying married. But you do have to work at it. And the best time to start is before you tie the knot. Divorce-proof your marriage while you’re still dating and when you do jump the broom, it’s more likely to be forever.

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Wait To Tie The Knot

Love at fist sight is a beautiful thing, but couples who wait three years or more to get engaged are 39% less likely to get divorced.

Divorce Dollars: How To Get Unwed Without Wasting Money

October 30th, 2014 - By Ann Brown
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Shutterstock
Shutterstock

Divorce is not only emotionally draining, but financially draining as well. Bruce Cameron of Cameron Law PLLC tells The Huffington Post the generally accepted figure for a divorce is anywhere from $15,000 to $20,000. “Basically it costs as much to get unmarried as it does to get married,” says Cameron.

The Root Live: Bring It to the Table recently addressed the issue of how to get divorced without going broke. Host Harriette Cole spoke with certified divorce coach Tamara Harris Robinson, who works with families in the transition to divorce, and Prudential professional ShirleyAnn Robertson.

Here are some of the important takeaways:

Make your divorce process as quick as possible. Robinson found herself in a costly, long-drawn-out divorce. “I filed for divorce in 2007 and like most people my only previous court experience was in traffic court or for jury duty,” says Robinson, whose own experience led her to launch her firm to help other divorced women in transition. Instead of being a smooth process, Robinson’s divorce turned out to be very complicated due to joint business ties and children.

“It ended up in a very expensive six-year process,” she recalls. “When I went through my divorce journey I realized divorce was one thing that could really destroy generational wealth.” In other words, with the cost of divorce lawyers being so high, a long divorce can eat into money you planned on passing down to your children.

Look at ways to cut divorce costs. Robinson suggests going over with your soon to be ex what their priorities are. And look at the things you can negotiate on without a lawyer and then tackle the things that are nonnegotiable with attorneys.

Get into reality. Robertson advises her clients to put their old financial life behind. “This transition is about financially redefining yourself. You had two incomes, you were spending summers in Florida and your were going to have a certain lifestyle.” That’s over. But she adds, if you don’t adjust you will be in a disastrous financial space. “You will be living of one income,” she adds.

“Understand your fantasy and what is you new reality,” adds Robinson. It’s a time to move on.

Do you want to cut all ties? With certain assets, such as pensions, you will have to remain in contact with your ex possibly for a long time. Decide if this is something you want. You may decide instead to take a cash settlement up front in lieu of pension payouts, offers Robinson.

Ask A Very Smart Brotha: He Doesn’t Take Care Of Our Daughter, Should We Divorce?

October 29th, 2014 - By Madame Noire
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should we divorce

I am 20, husband is 21. We have a daughter together but I have 100% responsibility for her and getting her everything she needs and he won’t watch her unless forced to. He doesn’t want to be married anymore because it’s hard. He recently started smoking and. I refuse to be with someone like that. He’d rather be boyfriend and girlfriend. He parties, stays on phone 24-7 and doesn’t help raise my daughter. He’s barely around me but only for sex or money.He wants a divorce and has been distant for almost 6 months but swears he’s not cheating. I don’t know what to do. Let him go and move on or try to make it work?

Don’t Want A Divorce

 

Dear Don’t Want A Divorce,

The
answer for what you should do is obvious to me, to everyone reading this, and probably to you too. If someone is acting like they don’t want to be in a relationship — and actually comes out and says “I want a divorce” — you do not need to be in a relationship with that person any longer. This is simple.
But, I’m aware that life has a way of making the simple seem difficult. That said, let me address and refute a couple possible reasons why this might be a difficult decision for you.
1. You’re in love
 
Love is only worth holding on to if the other person is also in love, and his actions are showing that he’s too immature to even consider loving someone
 
2. You want your daughter to have both parents at home
 
A noble concept, definitely. But do you really want to raise your daughter in a toxic environment where one parent clearly doesn’t want to be there?
3. You’re worried you won’t be able to find anyone else
You’re 20 years old. There will be literally hundreds of potential “anyone elses” in your lifetime.
In summary: Get the divorce, give him his “freedom,” and make sure he maintains his financial/legal responsibilities to your child. (And immediately stop allowing him to use you as a sex toy and an ATM)
Sincerely,
Damon Young

Pittsburgh native Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) is the co-founder of the ridiculously popular VerySmartBrothas.com Their first book “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide To Dating, Mating and Fighting Crime” is available at Amazon.com.

If This Is Marriage…No Thanks: How Married Couples Changed My Perspective On Tying The Knot

October 9th, 2014 - By Erica R. Williams
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Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

The idea of marriage once seemed like the missing piece of life’s puzzle to me. You know, finding that special someone who will love you for better or worse, a confidant, and the one who makes it all better when the going gets tough. Marriage, I thought, was somewhat of a completion to an almost whole person–finding the perfect person to complement you. I wanted it. I desired it. I anticipated it. That is, until I began talking to married couples.

Chances are, if you’ve had a conversation with someone who’s married, you’ve probably heard the words “marriage takes work.” Okay, I can deal with that. I never assumed it would be easy, but I didn’t think it would be as mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing as some couples make it seem.

“He gets on my nerves most days.”

“I don’t feel appreciated.”

“She nags way too much and never seems happy.”

“I wish I was single.”

These are some of the complaints that I’ve heard. Then comes the advice.

“Wait as long as you can before getting married.”

“Enjoy your single life.”

Seriously, the conversations that I’ve had with the vast majority of married couples has left me feeling one of two ways: confused or thanking God for my single status. Either feeling is not one that I want to associate with marriage. The good has to outweigh the bad, right?

While I admire couples who stay together despite the hard times and don’t opt for the easier alternative (aka, divorce), the less than optimistic attitude of these individuals has almost crushed a single girl’s spirit. Is this really what I have to look forward to? And sheesh, if you are that miserable, does it really make sense to stay?

I want to get married, but I also want to be happy. Can’t I have both? According to some married couples I can’t, but thankfully there are a select few who still give me some level of hope. They admit that marriage can be tough but believe ultimately that it’s worth it. Maybe those are the ones who married their soul mates and the complainers didn’t. Or maybe they went into marriage a bit more optimistic than some of the others who ‘wish they were single.’ I’m not sure.

But what I am sure about is that marriage is supposed to be one of the best events, outside of having a child, that happens in your life. With some married couples it’s the complete opposite. This frightens me, to an extent. While I’m not as optimistic as I once was about marriage (partly because I thought I would be married by now), I’m still hopeful and won’t allow the jaded perceptions of some to completely change my mind.

 

 

Ciara Gives Future Back Her $500K Engagement Ring

September 27th, 2014 - By Courtney Whitaker
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Ciara and Future are back together and trying to work things out for the sake of their son, says source.

Source: WENN

Ladies and gentleman, it’s officially over! According to Pagesix, Ciara is offically done with Future. The outlet is reporting that the singer gave Future back her engagement ring. The 15-carat emerald-cut engagement ring was designed by Avianne & Co. and valued at $500, 000.

The two were engaged for a short time before rumors of Future cheating began to cloud their relationship. Future was supposedly involved with his stylist and personal assistant. Future and Ciara started dating back in 2012. The songstress gave birth to their son on May 19th, 2014.

Friends close to Ciara also say she’s “definitely not getting back together” with the rapper, and is focused on being a mom to their son, Future Jr.”

Randy Jackson’s Wife Files For Divorce After 18 Years

September 27th, 2014 - By Courtney Whitaker
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Judy Eddy/WENN.com

Judy Eddy/WENN.com

Former American Idol judge Randy Jackson is headed for splitsville according to TMZ.

The outlet is reporting that Jackson and his wife Erika of 18 years, have filed for divorced, citing irreconcilable differences.

Erika is pursuing full physical custody of their 17-year-old son Jordan and spousal support. She also would like Mr. Jackson to take care of all of her legal bills and to restore her name to Erika Riker. The former couple married in December 1995 and has two children together. In addition to Jordan and Zoe, Randy also has a child from a previous marriage.

This is the second marriage for Randy. We’re sad to see a couple end things after 18 years together. However in this day and age with must celebrities, we are not surprised.

Is Sherri Shepherd Dating Johnny Gill?

September 5th, 2014 - By Veronica Wells
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sherri shepherd dating johnny gill feat

 

 

Seems like Sherri Shepherd will not slow down. Though she’s going through a very public and presumably painful divorce, the former “The View” cohost won’t be held down. She’s continuing to live every ounce of her life.

The Daily Mail is reporting that Shepherd is currently dating R&B singer Johnny Gill.

An alleged friend of Sherri’s told the website that Sherri and Johnny met each other on June 25 when New Edition performed on “The View” and have been seeing each other ever since.

A source at the show said, “Sherri is a big New Edition fan and was excited to have them at the show. But she and Johnny really connected and exchanged personal contact information.”

Reportedly, the two began a long distance relationship using FaceTime to communicate frequently.

And then Johnny took it up a notch, flying Shepherd out to see New Edition in Houston, Virginia Beach and Los Angeles.

Around this time, Sherri tweeted: “Sometimes you need friends who make you laugh…Thank you @RealJohnnyGill for a crazy night!…”

To which Johnny responded: “You’re the best, I had so much fun hanging with you, love love love you!!!”

And apparently, Johnny was in New York when Sherri filmed her last episode of “The View” but stayed off camera because they want to keep their relationship low key for now.

The source said that Sherri told her friends that they’re taking things slowly, saying she enjoys Gill’s companionship but isn’t interested in rushing into anything. And then: “She enjoys having a man who can actually take care of her. [Shade to Lamar.] He’s financially secure and that’s very appealing to her.”

Johnny has never been married but has an eight year old son with his former fiancé.

And you know the madness and mayhem Sherri has gone and is currently going through.

Yesterday, we reported about her ex husband, Lamar Sally rejecting the divorce settlement and child supper offer. And unfortunately the story is only getting worse.

Allegedly, Lamar Sally is threatening to release Sherri’s nude photos if she doesn’t offer to meet his terms.

The Hollywood Gossip is reporting that Lamar is in possession of dozens of nude photos from his ex wife. And sources say Lamar is threatening to release the photos if Sherri doesn’t agree to pay $10,000 a month in child support.

Another source says, Sherri deeply regrets sending the photos to Lamar and did so only because they lived in different cities for much of their relationship.

Sigh.

It’s like a soap opera.

You have to take these unnamed source stories with a grain of salt. And while I’m a bit hesitant to believe that Shepherd and Johnny Gill are dating, it doesn’t seem like too much of a stretch, given his track record, that Lamar Sally would be threatening to release his wife’s nude photos. Dude is grimy.

Anyway, what you do think about Johnny and Sherri as a couple? And if your ex husband were threatening to release your nudes, would you pay up or keep your money and let whatever happens happen?

[Watch] Usher Hopes Tameka Will Drop Last Name When He Remarries

September 4th, 2014 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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Source: PhamousFotos / Splash News

During an appearance on Dish Nation, Tameka Raymond was quick to correct Ricky Smiley after he called her by her maiden name, Foster.

“My last name is Raymond,” Tameka stated.”

Usher recently stopped by the very same show and was asked whether or not he minds Tameka keeping his name. And although he doesn’t seem to mind Tameka still considering herself a Raymond, he expressed that he hopes she will change her name back once he remarries.

“Ummm, she married me,” Usher said nonchalantly. “I’ll marry again. You know, I don’t want to have a harem. So I just hope that when I do, it’ll be a departure.”

The father of two was also questioned about how he feels about Tameka’s new reality show, “Atlanta Exes.” He expressed that he has no negative feelings about the show, but added that he also hasn’t seen it.

“No, I have no feelings about the show whatsoever. Actually, I haven’t seen it […] I’ve been busy raising kids, and making records and videos.”

I’m not sure if Tameka is willing to return to being a Foster, but I guess they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.

Watch a clip from his interview below. Do you think that Tameka should change her last name if/when Usher marries again?