All Articles Tagged "divorce"
Over the years, Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade has taken a lot of hits off the court about his personal life, including his fight for custody of his children, the alleged way he treated his ex-wife and his current relationship with actress Gabrielle Union. Now, he’s finally ready to discuss it…well, a little bit.
In the June 2013 issue of Jet magazine, Dwyane Wade takes time to discuss his role as a father and in the midst of that, he reveals bits and pieces of what his relationship is like now with the boys’ – Zaire, age 11, and Zion, age 5 – mother, Siovaughn Funches:
Why he fought so hard for custody of his children:
“I didn’t set out to get full custody but I wasn’t able to see my kids the way I wanted and I’m not a parent who’s going to run away from his responsibilities. I was probably a terrible husband, but I pride myself on being a good dad.”
The state of his relationship now with Siovaughn:
“It’s been six years and hopefully one day she and I can get to the point where it’s a lot easier than it is now to co-parent.”
It should come as no surprise that they don’t get along: Funches allegedly claimed Wade gave her an STD and he’s allegedly called the police on her for not bringing their children back to him on time. The two were together for many years, since they were both teenagers, so there are likely some very hurt feelings still involved.
You can pick up the June 2013 issue of Jet when it hits newsstands May 27th.
So Terrence Howard finalized the divorce with his ex-wife Michelle and she hardly walked away with JACK! She did score $5,800 in spousal support per month for the next three years, which isn’t much for a semi-prominent actor like Howard. But when you think about it does she really deserve anything?
The couple stayed together for three years and for only one of those years were they actually in a relationship. The other two years were spent ironing out the details of their ensuing divorce. I would dare to say she made little direct contribution to his career, especially since, as of late, Terrence Howard has just begun to get his career back on track since its decline following his peak role in Iron Man back in 2008. The laws that determine alimony payments vary for each state and many times the results of court proceedings can derive from a variety of factors like how long you have been married, each person’s conduct during the marriage, and even who had the best divorce lawyer.
But if we set legalities aside and just consider what’s fair, should a woman that was around for such a short time in a relationship where no kids resulted be entitled to alimony? He worked his whole life to build a career and spent one measly year with her and now has to pay money to keep it moving. And furthermore she was the one that filed for the divorce. Can’t Michelle just go back to her commercial production job making her middle class income like the whole thing never happened? He keeps his money and everything he brought to the relationship, and she leaves with what she brought to the relationship?
My first thoughts on this subject were, “Please, she’s no Juanita Jordan (ex-wife of Michael Jordan), Maria Shriver (ex-wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger), or Heather Mills (ex-wife of Paul McCartney).” These women held their celebrity men down for years and took home some of the largest divorce settlements in history. And as Vanessa Bryant made clear, you don’t have to be the one “shootin’ in the gym,” to be entitled to half when there is a family involved. But Michelle has not been down for Terrence for long at all.
However, after really thinking about it, marriage is no joke when you decide to make that commitment to a person it has to be taken seriously because when it ends, you can’t just start over like the relationship never existed. Ideally you both had intentions on spending the rest of your lives together, so whether it’s one year or 100 years, trying to wiggle your way out through a divorce should be cumbersome and costly, since neither of you saw the promises you made all the way through.
Anyone who enters a marriage should know that if it ends they stand to lose money, that if they want to walk away it won’t be easy, and that if they aren’t fully invested in it they shouldn’t do it because it’s going to be difficult to get out. You have meshed so much of your lives together — emotions, family, money — that if you want to walk away, you might just consider going to counseling and working on your communication first. It’s not something that should just be done then undone.
So does Michelle Ghant deserve a pay day from her split with Terrence Howard? I’d say so. He has to pay her for the next three years and she gets a bicycle and a monthly stipend. I’m sure it’s not exactly what either of them wanted out of the deal, but it’s the price they have to pay for not getting it right.
While getting a prenup might be the appropriate business decision in this day and age, it brings the creeping sense of insecurity into the relationship. At a time when you should be devising a plan to stay together, it makes it seem as though you’re ironing out your plan for breaking up.
If you truly believe in the elements of marriage and want to share your emotions, body, and ASSETS with a person, aren’t you diluting the experience by attempting to protect yourself in case of failure? Wouldn’t it be ridiculous to say I’m going to give my spouse all of my time and affection, but I’m going to continue to date on the side just in case things don’t work out? Or I’m going to love my spouse, but not too much just in case he hurts my feelings?
Many compare prenups to insurance; you have it there just in case you need it. However, the likelihood of needing insurance is high. Everyone needs life insurance since we all, one day, will die. We all need to maintain our health through regular checkups so health insurance is a must. And by law we have to carry car insurance based on the liability that could occur if there was an accident. There is no law forcing couples to sign prenuptial agreements, but with the divorce rate at about 50 percent many would argue that your chances of getting a divorce are high too. I beg to differ.
You only be at risk succumbing to the statistics if you are living an at-risk lifestyle. If you are careful and serious about your marriage the chances of you getting a divorce are not the same as a couple that does not take marriage seriously or does not work to stay together.
The greatest part about being married is having someone you can be completely vulnerable and transparent with. You know this person has the power to ruin your life at the drop of a hat because they know most of your secrets (and your social security number). But because of the love and trust you share and have built over the years, you know they never would.
Ok ok, I know that sounds mushy and all. But even beyond the mush, there is research that confirms that couples who are optimistic about their marriage are more likely to be happy in their marriage. And a National Center for Family and Marriage Research study finds that couples that have joint accounts are less likely to get divorced while couples that do not pool their funds are 145 percent more likely to divorce. Proving that financial cohesiveness in a relationship is important and it’s hard to be cohesive about your finances if you have signed a paper that encourages you to keep your finances separate.
If you are not ready to share every aspect of your life with someone, the best alternative is to not get married and just co-habitate. By co-habitating with someone and choosing not to commit to marriage you both are clear on where you stand with your money since you both can walk away with what you brought to the table or earned, that is unless you live in a state where common law marriage exists and your relationship lasts long enough to fall under those rules.
Now I do understand that in some situations where there are other people’s financial well being at stake, like business partners or family members, there may be a need for legalities before marriage. But in others cases it’s just an easy way out. I think many people want to dive into the benefits of marriage without putting in the work it takes to sustain one. Yes, you might get flack from your mom for shacking up with your boo without being married. But if you and your boo are starting your new beginning planning for the end, you just might not be as serious about the relationship as you think anyway.
It’s a sad day when a wedding planner is heading for divorce instead of helping others get down the aisle, but according to TMZ that’s the case with one of our favorite men on WEtv: David Tutera.
The “My Fair Wedding” host is reportedly ending things with his husband of 10-years, Ryan Jurica, and what’s worse is the couple is currently expecting twins by way of a surrogate.
What could make this split even more complicated is the fact that David and Ryan aren’t actually husband and husband in the legal sense. The partners did have a lavish wedding ceremony in Vermont back in 2003, but as California residents they legally only have a domestic partnership. But David is seeking to end the partnership, citing ”irreconcilable differences,” and on top of that he wants full legal and physical custody of the twins, which are due in July. As far as Ryan goes, he’s willing to give him visitation rights to their children.
TMZ says legal documents filed in L.A. County Superior Court also show David doesn’t want to pay Ryan a penny for spousal support — which I didn’t even know was a question in domestic partnerships – and he wants Ryan to pay for all legal fees related to the split. Anyone else feel like Ryan may have dipped out on David and now he’s trying to make him suffer? Jus’ saying.
Either way, here’s hoping these two can at least figure out a way to co-parent if the marriage can’t be saved.
He Wants That Old Thing Back: It Looks Like Kordell Stewart Is Trying To Go Back To His ‘Irretrievably Broken’ Marriage
It was a little over one month ago when we first reported that former NFL star Kordell Stewart had filed for divorce from his wife Porsha Stewart, claiming that his marriage is “irretrievably broken.” Not long after our report, a representative on behalf of Porsha revealed that the grieving reality star learned of her estranged husband’s filing through the media. She later revealed that she never actually wanted to get a divorce and that she was deeply hurt by Kordell’s insensitivity.
Expressing that she was blindsided by the divorce, Porsha appeared to be a deer caught in the headlights, tragically subject to her estranged husband’s cruelty. With each passing day, the broken hearted reality star revealed more and more about Kordell’s surprise divorce filing and even though she kept it real about how hurt she was, she appeared to be getting stronger and coming to terms with what happened. Kordell on the other hand, seemed to be doing the exact opposite. If his recent Instagram posts serve as any indication of how he’s currently feeling about his relationship with Porsha, chances are he’s had a change of heart and is hoping to work things out. First the retired Pittsburgh Steelers player shared of photo of he and Porsha during happier times.
When an Instagram follower encouraged him to work things out with Porsha he responded:
“… love that woman.”
Another follower suggested that he “get his baby back” and leave reality TV. He responded:
He also appeared to be doing a little self-reflecting.
Ironically, during a recent interview with Hollywood Life, Porsha expressed that she’s feeling at peace and that a reconciliation is the furthest thing from her mind right now.
“You know, I really don’t have the space in my mind to consider that right now. I’m in the middle of a divorce, so reconciliation is not at the top of my list. So, that’s not something I’m thinking about,” the reality star expressed.
What do you make of this? Should Porsha consider working things out with Kordell?
When A Sistah Misses The Signs: Famous Women Who Married Gay And Bisexual Men And Didn’t Know It (And A Few Who Did)
These women and their partners started off like the perfect couples. Like many, they were happy, and felt like they had the whole world in front of them. But that was until the women found out their man was gay. Some did during their marriages, others did after the fact, one found out when her husband messed around with her stepfather. Ouch! Either way, it’s clear that some folks just aren’t who they say they are and when you’re in love, what might seem obvious to somebody else is hard for a sistah to see. Hey, you live and you learn. Here are nine women who have been involved with gay and bisexual men at one time or another.
Real Housewives of Atlanta star Porsha Stewart may assume the ditzy role and make some very questionable comments at times, but our girl has proven that she’s no fool. Just last month the Georgia peach expressed that her upcoming music project would be inspired by the love shared between she and Kordell Stewart. But in the wake of Kordell’s surprising divorce filing, the reality star seems to be singing a rather different tune (literally). She recently told ABC News Radio that she definitely plans to allow her current situation and the emotions that she is experiencing as a result of the divorce to lead her creatively in certain aspects of her album.
“What I’m going through I absolutely want to pour into some music. I’m living what a lot of people across the world have been through. And I’m going to use my voice, and my spirit, and my passion and pain and put it into this new song and release it,” she said of her upcoming project.
She also maintains that she still isn’t sure what caused the divorce.
“It was like an out of body experience. I didn’t think it was really happening so it was definitely not what I wanted to wake up to that morning. No wife wants a divorce and you definitely don’t want to live it out in public. I’m sure I’ll find that out [what caused the divorce] sooner or later.”
She went on to say that although she’s “single,” she still loves Kordell and is not interested in dating right now.
“I’m not really interested in that [dating] right now. Everything is so fresh. The love for my husband is there. The situation is disappointing. So, I’m not even thinking about that. It’s a long time before I consider any of these requests for dates.”
What do you think of Porsha’s plans to sing about her heartbreak?
Last night Real Housewives of Atlanta star Porsha Stewart made an appearance of Bravo TV‘s Watch What Happens Live following the conclusion of part three of RHOA’s reunion special. During the appearance, the Georgia peach chatted it up with Andy Cohen and actress Vivica Fox about the show and feeling betrayed by her husband’s divorce filing, which has played out very publicly over the past month. She even expressed that she learned that her marriage was over via Twitter, of all places. Check out some of what she had to say.
On not knowing that Kordell would file during the reunion show taping:
“I was totally blindsided. At the reunion I did feel some kind of way because I did want my husband there with me. But I was standing strong representing for my family. I was a wife. That’s my title. And that’s what I took ownership of. When I found out about the divorce it was absolutely a surprise.”
On learning of Kordell’s filing:
“I was laying in the bed and I woke up and I tweeted ‘Today is the first day of the rest of your life.’ I put the phone down and I took another nap like I always do sometimes and I looked back at my phone and my sister was calling me over and over. She said ‘Have you heard?’ and I’m like ‘Heard what?’ So I said let me go back to Twitter. The first thing I see is ‘Kordell divorcing Porsha.’ And I’m thinking this is just a crazy joke. Yeah, I found out from Twitter. I called my sister back and said ‘I’m going to ask him about it.’”
On confronting Kordell:
“I went in there and I asked him. He was there [in the other room]. And I asked my husband, I asked him had he filed. Just a long story short, I felt very disappointed and let down. When I got married I meant it for life. I always said I would never get a divorce unless he cheated on me or something like that. He didn’t [tell my why]. First of all, I had to find out from my attorney that it was true. We looked it up online, found out that it was true that he had actually filed. I was just heartbroken. I am still right now. I’m a brave woman and I know that I’m living this out in front of the world because of the way it was done. You know, on the Internet, I’m in the public eye and everybody knows about it.”
On how she copes with still living with Kordell:
“Yes [we're still living together]. I’m from Atlanta. I’m born and raised in Atlanta. I have friends and family so I spend time away, I spend time home. It’s a difficult situation right now. It’s something that I did not want at all. I had asked ‘Can we work this out?’, ‘Can we go to counseling?’ What you saw at the reunion was a wife trying her last try. When you are married you need to put 150% into your marriage, no matter what. And if it doesn’t work, you need to be able to walk away and say, ‘I tried.’ I feel at the end of the day that it was just a betrayal that I suffered from and that’s something I’m going to have to move on with. But at least I know I put in my best.”
“We’re in the same house. I didn’t say we speak and I didn’t say I’m cooking. It ain’t no eggs and bacon and ham hocks no mo’.”
Turn the page to see footage of Porsha chatting it up with Andy and Vivica. Are you shocked that Kordell was in the very next room when Porsha learned he was divorcing her?
The 536-Day Divorce Battle To End A 72-Day Marriage Is Over! Kim Kardashian And Kris Humphries Are (Almost) Officially Divorced
TMZ is reporting that reality star Kim Kardashian and Brooklyn Nets power forward, Kris Humphries have finally reached a settlement, bringing an end to their seemingly never-ending divorce. A judge dissolved the pairs marriage today during a court hearing.
While the terms of the settlement have not been officially announced, sources tell TMZ that Kris dropped annulment demands, is no longer claiming that Kim committed fraud by marrying him and he will not receive the requested $7 million that he’d originally asked for. He actually won’t be receiving any money from Kim for that matter. The insider also says that both parties will take care of their own attorney’s fees.
Official papers still need to be signed by both Kris and Kim, but the judge reportedly told Kim, ”Congratulations on your dissolution.” Kris and Kim even appear to be playing nice with one another. Kris would’ve had to pay a court penalty fee for pulling a no-show at a scheduled hearing last week pertaining to the case, but Kim kindly asked the courts to drop the penalty and they obliged, letting Kris off the hook. The divorce will be official once both parties sign off on necessary legal docs.
Thank God! Now Kim can stop crying about having Kanye’s baby while she’s someone else’s wife.
“I’m scared with the divorce, I’m probably going to have this baby being married to someone else,” Kim said during the Keeping Up With The Kardashians‘ Season 8 supertrailer.
On a more serious note, we’re sure she’s happy to have that burden lifted.
About a week or so after retired Pittsburgh Steelers player Kordell Stewart filed for divorce against his reality TV star wife, Porsha Stewart, rumors began to surface that the estranged couple were looking to work things out and attempting to mend the broken fences of their marriage. Initially, I began to think that it was a good thing that they were trying to make it work and from the outside looking in, Porsha appeared to be very dedicated to her marriage. On the other hand, I began to think of the manner in which Porsha says she learned of Kordell’s divorce filing, which was through the media just like the rest of the general public. He called it quits. He threw in the towel, but he never informed her. A representative on behalf of Porsha even came forward saying that Kordell misled Porsha, allowing her to believe that he was committed to working it out, then turning around and filing divorce papers. His method in ending their marriage was pretty harsh.
We hear every day that marriage is something to be worked at. We hear that relationships aren’t easy and that it is ultimately a team effort. But what happens when one teammate just up and quits seemingly “out of the blue?” Does that negate the union? Does it cancel out the promises and responsibilities that the team has to one another? How do you give your heart back to a person who made it clear that they’ve given up on you and the relationship? What assurance do you have that they won’t quit on you again?
In an interesting Psychology Today article titled, “Contemplating Divorce: Would You Take Your Spouse Back?” licensed therapist Susan Pease Gadoua explores this very subject. Gadoua surveyed a group of people who were three months into their divorce proceedings about whether or not they would take their spouses back. A surprising 90 percent responded, “No.” Gadoua goes on to note that there is often an eye-opening epiphany experienced by the abandoned party in the relationships. At first, they desire for their former partner to return. Then, they begin to see faults and flaws about their ex that they hadn’t seen prior to their heart-wrenching splits.
“In my experience, when a person is the leavee, they often tell me initially they would take their spouse back if he or she wanted to come back to the marriage. This is true particularly when the spouse being left didn’t see it coming and didn’t think the problems in the marriage were ‘that bad.’ But then something interesting happens. As the divorce proceedings take place, the leavee witnesses all kinds of behavior that they’d either never seen before or they had denial around,” notes Gadoua.
She went on to imply that the trauma that comes with being abandoned often stirs up disdain and even sometimes disgust within the “leavee” for the “leaver.”
“One woman had a classic response when asked if she would let her husband back in if he were to ask her to reconcile. In a word, “EW!” Another client told me that after his wife had him served with divorce papers on Valentine’s Day, he wasn’t sure if he could even look her in the eye again, never mind let her back in his bed!”
Break-ups are rough, but being totally abandoned by the person you love and having your teammate switch sides, becoming your opponent, seems unfathomable. While a successful reunion in a situation such as this one seems like it would be ridiculously challenging, I suppose the outcome is really contingent upon the parties involved and their love left for one another.
Would you take your man back if he ever walked out on you or have you ever taken back your ex after left you? How did things turn out?
Follow Jazmine on Twitter @jazminedenise.