All Articles Tagged "divorce"

Judge Allows Woman To Serve Husband With Divorce Papers On Facebook

April 6th, 2015 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
Share to Twitter Email This
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

There are many creative ways to serve a person with court papers. Just last week, the Internet was buzzing after footage began circulating of Tyga being served at his sneaker launch event by a man who purchased two pairs of sneakers and posed for a photograph with the rapper. Dude even got his sneaker box signed. However, as funny as that was, it doesn’t top how Ellanora Baidoo of Brooklyn has been granted permission to serve her estranged husband with divorce papers.

According to The New York Daily News, Baidoo, 26, who works as a nurse, “is granted permission serve defendant with the divorce summons using a private message through Facebook” by Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Matthew Cooper.

Baidoo married Sena Blood-Dzraku in 2009 in a civil ceremony; however, things quickly fell apart when Baidoo realized that her new husband wouldn’t be following through with his promise to give her a traditional Ghanaian wedding ceremony. Both Baidoo and Blood-Dzraku are from Ghana.

“She wanted their families there,” said Baidoo’s attorney Andrew Spinnell.

Due to Blood-Dzraku’s failure to keep his promise, the union was never consummated and the pair never lived together as husband and wife. The two kept in touch by phone and Facebook, but that was the extent of their interaction with one another.

The “last address plaintiff has for defendant is an apartment that he vacated in 2011,” Cooper said. Baidoo “has spoken with defendant by telephone on occasion and he has told her that he has no fixed address and no place of employment. He has also refused to make himself available to be served with divorce papers.”

The “post office has no forwarding address for him, there is no billing address linked to his prepaid cell phone, and the Department of Motor Vehicles has no record of him,” Cooper’s ruling explains.

The divorce summons will be sent by Spinnell through Baidoo’s Facebook account.

“This transmittal shall be repeated by plaintiff’s attorney to defendant once a week for three consecutive weeks or until acknowledged” by Blood-Dzraku.

“I think it’s new law, and it’s necessary,” said Spinnell. “We tried everything, including hiring a private detective — and nothing.”

The first Facebook message was sent to Blood-Dzraku last week. So far, he hasn’t responded.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

Oh, Word? Stars We Didn’t Realize Were Married To One Another In The Past And Present

April 3rd, 2015 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
Share to Twitter Email This

Excuse us, but we’ve been living under a rock. We didn’t realize that the same people we watch on our favorite shows and in our favorite movies were married to one another at some point in time. While some of these star couples are still going strong, a majority signed them papers and hit the road.

Must be awkward to run into one another at awards shows.

But life and the show must go on. Check out the stars we didn’t know were married to one another in the past and present.

celebrities we didn't know were married

Getty

Geena Davis And Jeff Goldblum

And here we thought that they just starred alongside one another in that hella creepy movie The Fly. Davis and Goldblum were actually married from 1987 to 1990.

Should Married Women Have A Separate “In Case Of Divorce” Emergency Fund?

March 31st, 2015 - By Tanvier Peart
Share to Twitter Email This
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Call me an optimist or a believer in happy endings, but I truly pray my marriage can stand the test of time. As much as I love my husband and our union, I’m well aware of the divorce rate in this country and how quick folks are to call it quits. Marriage isn’t for everyone and takes hard work. You need to hold each other down during the happy and the difficult times.

Does this mean I need an emergency fund in case things don’t work out?

I never really thought about one until a (single) friend of mine asked if I had one. Now I consider myself a pretty savvy person when it comes to personal finances, but had no idea about this concept. Sure most of us heard about prenups and having your own retirement accounts, but a fund in case your marriage ends in a divorce?

As horrible as it might sound, it kinda makes sense.

While I’m only three years into my marriage (I’ve been with my guy for a total of seven years), I have heard horror stories about some marriages. How many of us have heard about a wife being shut out of money from the very man who talked her into staying at home? Or what about women who were clueless their husbands had double lives? This stuff isn’t just for television.

Even though I enjoy “traditional roles” in my marriage, I also have independence when it comes to my husband and our finances. Yes I do stay at home but I also collect checks through freelancing and my own personal business ventures. There’s something about relying on a single person for everything that just doesn’t work in my book. Plus, we’re able to save for our children’s college, a house and other endeavors with two incomes. Having my own pot of coins helps to make certain wants a reality, even if my husband is still the main breadwinner.

In fact, I’m the main one between my husband and I who always has their head inside a financial magazine or looking for ways to invest our money. While I am thankful we have a pretty good portfolio that’s growing, I’ve always considered creating an additional account for myself. My husband and I have a joint checking account and savings for emergencies. I also have a separate checking account since I’m a gal on the go, but perhaps I need a separate savings too? It has been on my mind considering I tend to have the flexibility in my finances to try different investments.

I just hate the idea of having it in case I get divorced.

Maybe I’ll call it the “Tanvier fund” or something. As much as I hate the “D” word, I also can’t be oblivious to the idea. After all, who enters a marriage thinking, “Hey, I’d like to get divorced in a few years?” As a wife and mother, it’s very easy to fall into the role of caregiver as you’re always working to take care of your household. Having a separate account or emergency fund is a great idea that empowers you to invest in yourself.

There are dreams I have that are separate from my family and will require an investment. Building up a fund for myself–that’s not associated with retirement–sounds like a smart money plan. And God forbid something happens to my relationship, I have coins in the bank to take care of myself.

Paula Patton Shares Why Leaving Robin Thicke Was Such A Big Deal For Her

March 31st, 2015 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
Share to Twitter Email This
WENN

WENN

While some hollered that they saw it coming from a mile away, personally, I was a little shocked when Paula Patton announced her separation from Robin Thicke last year. Sure, it was obvious that they were having problems, but for some reason, I just assumed they would work it out. Now that they’re mere weeks away from finalizing their divorce, Paula is opening up more and more about her decision to leave and what life has been like since the two have separated.

For one, the Baggage Claim actress says that the experience has been life changing because she’s never really been on her own before. She met Robin when she was just 14 years old and when she decided to move out of her parents’ home years later, she moved in with her childhood sweetheart.

“I moved from my parent’s house to moving in with Robin and now I’m becoming an adult,” she explained in an interview with Meredith Vieira. “I feel like a real woman now.”

As liberating as stepping out on her own may be, Paula says that it also comes with its challenges–like being a single mother.

“I took a lot of time off to be with him and then I had to pack for a trip because I had to go to work and he said, ‘Mommy I don’t want you to go to work,'” she shared. “It’s the challenge of being a working mother and it’s the first time he ever said that to me, because I did work when he was a baby, but now he is more aware of everything, so what are you going to do? It’s sort of the trials and tribulations of being a woman. Right?”

Overall, Paula says she’s doing well.

“You know I’m doing really well. It’s been a long year and a lot of challenges but I’ve grown quite a bit and just getting used to change,” she said.

As previously reported, Paula and Robin have already reached a divorce settlement. Their split will be finalized next month.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

‘Til Divorce Do Us Part: Surviving Unhappily Ever After

March 23rd, 2015 - By TaMara Griffin
Share to Twitter Email This
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Until death do us part are the words that fall from our lips as we stand before our family and friends and pledge our unwavering love and support for our future spouse. We’re in marital bliss and finally have our happily ever after — or at least that’s what we think until everything goes wrong. Deeming the union unsalvageable and irreparable, we’re faced with the unimaginable: divorce.

Going through a divorce is difficult, especially if you didn’t initiate the process. So how does one prepare for this tragedy to unfold? You can’t, especially if you never saw it coming. But while you may not be able to prepare for the unraveling of your marriage, you can survive the reality of unhappily ever after. Here’s how:

Grieve The Loss. In many ways, going through a divorce is almost as traumatic as losing a loved one to death — except that your loved one is still alive and moving on without you, which can make the split even more difficult. As challenging as it may be, grieving the loss of the marriage is the most essential step to helping you get over the relationship. We must take time to grieve all types of loss in our life. We cannot effectively heal and move forward until we have acknowledged the absence of what was. We must accept that what we thought and hoped would be is no longer reality. Writing down your feelings about the divorce can be very helpful in the grieving process, as can writing a goodbye letter or sending off a paper lantern. Both are a great way to symbolically close the door on this relationship and open another door to a new beginning.

Accept That The Relationship Has Changed. One of the hardest things to do is to acknowledge that things will change. You’re used to being with your partner on a daily basis and now they will no longer be in your life. The consistency has changed, the comfort of routine has been eliminated, and you’re now faced with a new normal. Take the first steps toward accepting this change by separating yourself from your ex. Revert back to your maiden name, if applicable, change your address, dissolve any financial obligations tying you together, and don’t prolong the signing of divorce papers. You have to move on with your life.

Keep Yourself Busy. Keeping busy is important in order to have a peace of mind. Find hobbies and other ways to occupy your time. The more time you spend participating in positive activities, the less time you have to spend feeling sorry for yourself. Volunteering and helping others during this time will also give you a greater sense of fulfillment and purpose as you focus on easing the pain of others rather than focusing on your own.

Get A Support System. If you’re the initiator of the divorce, it’s still a challenging situation to navigate. Having a good support system in place will help make it a little easier to transition from married life to singlehood. Family and friends can be there to help you through the process, especially if they have been through a similar situation. However, remember that some family members and friends may not agree with the divorce, so it is important to be wise in deciding who to seek support from. Support groups for divorcees may do you good, but be sure to stay away from “rebound” support. You don’t want to end up in another potentially problematic situation because you were mistakenly misguided by your emotions.

A Little Therapy May Help. Therapy can be a great way to help you move past a divorce and get your life back on track. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to seek help from a professional who has experience in dealing with people going through a divorce. You can share your thoughts and feelings with someone who can provide a totally unbiased opinion. A therapist can also provide you with tools and strategies to help you heal as you move forward. They have an outside perspective, whereas family and friends may be too attached to your ex and may not be able to totally separate the connection. Even if you sought couples therapy prior to your separation, it’s still a good idea to try individual therapy for yourself. Seeking help alone may aid you in processing and moving beyond your concerns as a newly divorced person so that you can be a single person living and enjoying life.

Give It Time! Healing is not going to happen overnight. The process of a divorce can be long and daunting. As long as you remain committed to healing and moving forward, the journey becomes easier with time. There may be occasions where you become sensitive to your situation (i.e., birthdays, holidays, anniversaries and more) and that’s okay. The occasional emotional setback is expected; just try not to dwell too long on the memory, as it will only reopen wounds and make the journey take even longer.

Surviving unhappily ever after is totally possible, if you’re willing to do the work. That’s not to say that there won’t be lonely nights, a lot of tears, and a range of emotions along the way, but as long as you are realistic and remember that you can survive and be loving all by yourself, you will be able to get through the loss of the relationship.

CatalystCon PicDr. TaMara loves nothing more than talking about sex! At the age of 13, she told her mother she wanted to be a Sex Therapist! Her passion is deeply rooted in spreading messages about healthy sexuality. Dr. TaMara is a sexologist, sex therapist, educator and motivational speaker with more than 20 years of experience speaking, writing and teaching about sexuality. She travels the country helping individuals embrace and honor their sexuality. Dr. TaMara has published numerous books and articles. She is the owner of L.I.F.E. by Dr. TaMara Griffin Live Inspired Feel Empowered LLC-LIFE. She is the publisher and editor-in-chief for Our Sexuality! Magazine. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, www.drtamaragriffin.com or www.projectcreatesafe.com.

“I’m Not Moving To Minnesota”: Stars Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Celebrity Divorces

March 19th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
Share to Twitter Email This

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock


One day these celebrity couples looked like they were living happily ever after. The next day they announced their split. Now they’re finally ready to share the reason behind these celebrity divorces.

Serious Question: Would You Still Sleep With Your Ex Husband?

February 24th, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
Share to Twitter Email This

 

Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

Indiana sports fans will never forget Stephen Jackson’s name. You may remember he was one of the Indiana Pacers involved in the now infamous (and arguably justified) Malice at The Palace brawl when a Detroit Pistons fan threw beer, chairs and other things on him and his teammates while he was on the court.

But now, his name is in the headlines once again, this time for a more personal matter. Jackson has asked a judge to dismiss his wife’s petition for a divorce because he’s still blowing her back out.

Ooo…

Naw, he didn’t say that. I’m just very fond of that phrase. But the general message is still the same. In legal documents obtained by TMZ, Jackson said that the judge shouldn’t grant the divorce because his wife, Renata Jackson, is just attempting to collect a prenup payout even though they still do the things married couples do.

Jackson says that under the terms of their prenup, the payout she’d receive would be based on his net worth at the time when she initially filed for divorce in 2013. He was playing in the NBA at the time so the sum to be dispersed would be much greater than his current net worth, now that he’s left the league.

Jackson’s documents state that the marriage wasn’t over when she filed in 2013 and isn’t over now because they’re still having sex…on a regular.

Not only are they having sex, Jackson, who married Renata in 2009, said that they still take vacations together. They’ve been to the Bahamas, Cancun and Jamaica.

In the documents, Jackson’s attorney concluded “Despite filing for divorce, [Renata] continued her relationship with [Stephen] in an effort to ‘have her cake and eat it too.'”

I don’t know what is truly motivating Renata but, unlike several of the commenters on the TMZ article, I was not surprised by the fact that she is still sleeping with her estranged husband.

It happens all the time. If you watched “Married At First Sight,” you saw Vaughn and Monet bicker and fight with each other all throughout the day only to get it all the way in once they went to bed. Despite their sexual chemistry, they still ended up getting a divorce.

There was a whole movie, starring Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin, where a divorced couple couldn’t seem to stop having sex with each other, though they both knew a relationship between the two of them would never work out.

My own mother, in a rather random moment of confession, told me and my sister that should she and my father ever get divorced, she would still have sex with him. Primarily because she knows him and he knows her and she wouldn’t be ready or even interested in building and sharing that type of intimacy with another person.

…Well.

While I’ve never been married, I can understand the mentality. We all know sex doesn’t equal love. And, to take it a step further, loving someone doesn’t mean you should be together. So with that in mind, I can certainly see how a woman would want to continue sleeping with the man she loved, knew and was comfortable with, even if the relationship is over on paper.

It doesn’t make the best sense in the context of healing and moving on but we’ve all done some pretty stupid things either the name of love or in the name of scratching an itch.

And in the instance of Stephen and Renata Jackson, it doesn’t seem like either one of them really want a divorce. It would be one thing if Renata was just letting Stephen get a little goodbye taste every once in a while; but the fact that she’s vacationing with dude, makes me think a part of her wants to work it out. Do you know how terrible it is to vacation with someone you can’t stand?!

It’s torture.

As for Stephen, even though he claims that Renata is just trying to get at his money, he still doesn’t want the judge to grant her a divorce.

These two are funny. And hopefully they come to some type of agreement.

But back to you, would you consider sleeping with an ex or an estranged husband?

Is It Cheaper To Keep Her? Financial Divorce Dodgeball

February 19th, 2015 - By Tanvier Peart
Share to Twitter Email This
Woman returned wedding ring to husband/divorce

Shutterstock

At some point, folks really need to start thinking about their happiness.

I am in no way an expert on marriage, but I do know a thing or two about healthy and happy relationships. I’m blessed to say my guy and I have been together for seven years and are coming up on our third wedding anniversary. As a child of divorce, it was a bit difficult at first to navigate our life as husband and wife given I didn’t have the best example growing up. Even with my parents’ split, I’m happy they did what they could to put their differences aside and develop a healthy co-parenting partnership that was void of drama.

I just wish some people in my camp would get it together. I’m really tired of hearing about the same old problems.

We have a close family friend who has been married to his wife for five years — and for five years he has done nothing but complain about his situation. Come to think of it, the brother was complaining before he got married which should have been a red flag. Aside from being annoying (he’s a grown man who married younger), we all can’t help but wonder why he’s staying with his wife if she’s really that bad. From what we know, she doesn’t cook, clean or enjoy physical encounters if you know what I mean. After several failed attempts to reignite their flame through therapy, nothing appears to be working. The two have a child together, which I think is one of the main reasons he’s trying so hard to stick it out. Even though he makes more money and their home is his, he thinks she will take their son away and he won’t get equal custody or visitation. He’s also nervous she’ll take him to the cleaners.

Is it really cheaper to keep her–or him if the roles were reversed?

I always thought that concept applied to folks who made some serious money, but I guess not. It’s one thing to try and stay in a relationship for the sake of your child, but in most cases, that can do more harm than good–considering how unhealthy the relationship will become over time. My father has two marriages under his belt with the last costing him dearly. Even though he knew in the back of his head he shouldn’t have said “I do,” he made the decision to couple up with a woman who had no problems expressing her love for gold (to say the least). While their divorce set him back financially — to the point of almost filing for bankruptcy — he knew his sanity and well-being were more important. After years of saving, he’s currently enjoying the retired life in a new home free of debt… and my former stepmother.

If there was ever a moral to this story, it’s to figure out how compatible you are with someone before you get into a marriage. In addition to their quarrels and arguments, these two don’t see eye-to-eye when it comes to finances. He saves, she spends. Money is one of the top reasons why folks split, but apparently it could be the thing keeping these two together. Sometimes financial backlash is an investment worth taking–especially if you have the time and will to better your situation.

Who knows what will happen to these two. Hopefully others won’t make the same mistakes, or at least learn from them should they happen. Here are some reads that might help in this arena:

The Financial Kiss of Death? There’s More to Marriage Than a Fancy Wedding

When the Future of Marriage is Over Before it Begins: Financial Tips for Calling Off a Wedding

How to Resolve Money Issues in Your Marriage

The Financial Do’s and Don’ts of Engagement

Should “I Do” Last Forever? These 15 Celebs Don’t Think So

January 24th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
Share to Twitter Email This

Should all celebrity marriages last forever? These stars certainly didn’t think so. Were their make ups to breakups justified? Or should they have tried harder to stick it out?

Image Source: WENN.com

Image Source: WENN.com

NeNe Leakes

NeNe Leakes agreed to “in sickness” and “in health” but not “in infidelity.” When her husband Gregg Leakes let fame get to his head, Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes handed him divorce papers. Not only did he clean up his act, but the tow got re-married on one of TV’s most star-studded weddings.

Why Having Divorced Parents Is Good For Your Relationships

January 3rd, 2015 - By Julia Austin
Share to Twitter Email This
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Having divorced parents can make a person acutely aware of all the little things that can ruin a relationship. Is that a big burden to carry? Yes. But in many ways it is a blessing. Here are some ways having divorced parents could be good for your relationships.