All Articles Tagged "divorce"

Serious Question: Would You Still Sleep With Your Ex Husband?

February 24th, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
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Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

Indiana sports fans will never forget Stephen Jackson’s name. You may remember he was one of the Indiana Pacers involved in the now infamous (and arguably justified) Malice at The Palace brawl when a Detroit Pistons fan threw beer, chairs and other things on him and his teammates while he was on the court.

But now, his name is in the headlines once again, this time for a more personal matter. Jackson has asked a judge to dismiss his wife’s petition for a divorce because he’s still blowing her back out.

Ooo…

Naw, he didn’t say that. I’m just very fond of that phrase. But the general message is still the same. In legal documents obtained by TMZ, Jackson said that the judge shouldn’t grant the divorce because his wife, Renata Jackson, is just attempting to collect a prenup payout even though they still do the things married couples do.

Jackson says that under the terms of their prenup, the payout she’d receive would be based on his net worth at the time when she initially filed for divorce in 2013. He was playing in the NBA at the time so the sum to be dispersed would be much greater than his current net worth, now that he’s left the league.

Jackson’s documents state that the marriage wasn’t over when she filed in 2013 and isn’t over now because they’re still having sex…on a regular.

Not only are they having sex, Jackson, who married Renata in 2009, said that they still take vacations together. They’ve been to the Bahamas, Cancun and Jamaica.

In the documents, Jackson’s attorney concluded “Despite filing for divorce, [Renata] continued her relationship with [Stephen] in an effort to ‘have her cake and eat it too.'”

I don’t know what is truly motivating Renata but, unlike several of the commenters on the TMZ article, I was not surprised by the fact that she is still sleeping with her estranged husband.

It happens all the time. If you watched “Married At First Sight,” you saw Vaughn and Monet bicker and fight with each other all throughout the day only to get it all the way in once they went to bed. Despite their sexual chemistry, they still ended up getting a divorce.

There was a whole movie, starring Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin, where a divorced couple couldn’t seem to stop having sex with each other, though they both knew a relationship between the two of them would never work out.

My own mother, in a rather random moment of confession, told me and my sister that should she and my father ever get divorced, she would still have sex with him. Primarily because she knows him and he knows her and she wouldn’t be ready or even interested in building and sharing that type of intimacy with another person.

…Well.

While I’ve never been married, I can understand the mentality. We all know sex doesn’t equal love. And, to take it a step further, loving someone doesn’t mean you should be together. So with that in mind, I can certainly see how a woman would want to continue sleeping with the man she loved, knew and was comfortable with, even if the relationship is over on paper.

It doesn’t make the best sense in the context of healing and moving on but we’ve all done some pretty stupid things either the name of love or in the name of scratching an itch.

And in the instance of Stephen and Renata Jackson, it doesn’t seem like either one of them really want a divorce. It would be one thing if Renata was just letting Stephen get a little goodbye taste every once in a while; but the fact that she’s vacationing with dude, makes me think a part of her wants to work it out. Do you know how terrible it is to vacation with someone you can’t stand?!

It’s torture.

As for Stephen, even though he claims that Renata is just trying to get at his money, he still doesn’t want the judge to grant her a divorce.

These two are funny. And hopefully they come to some type of agreement.

But back to you, would you consider sleeping with an ex or an estranged husband?

Is It Cheaper To Keep Her? Financial Divorce Dodgeball

February 19th, 2015 - By Tanvier Peart
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Woman returned wedding ring to husband/divorce

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At some point, folks really need to start thinking about their happiness.

I am in no way an expert on marriage, but I do know a thing or two about healthy and happy relationships. I’m blessed to say my guy and I have been together for seven years and are coming up on our third wedding anniversary. As a child of divorce, it was a bit difficult at first to navigate our life as husband and wife given I didn’t have the best example growing up. Even with my parents’ split, I’m happy they did what they could to put their differences aside and develop a healthy co-parenting partnership that was void of drama.

I just wish some people in my camp would get it together. I’m really tired of hearing about the same old problems.

We have a close family friend who has been married to his wife for five years — and for five years he has done nothing but complain about his situation. Come to think of it, the brother was complaining before he got married which should have been a red flag. Aside from being annoying (he’s a grown man who married younger), we all can’t help but wonder why he’s staying with his wife if she’s really that bad. From what we know, she doesn’t cook, clean or enjoy physical encounters if you know what I mean. After several failed attempts to reignite their flame through therapy, nothing appears to be working. The two have a child together, which I think is one of the main reasons he’s trying so hard to stick it out. Even though he makes more money and their home is his, he thinks she will take their son away and he won’t get equal custody or visitation. He’s also nervous she’ll take him to the cleaners.

Is it really cheaper to keep her–or him if the roles were reversed?

I always thought that concept applied to folks who made some serious money, but I guess not. It’s one thing to try and stay in a relationship for the sake of your child, but in most cases, that can do more harm than good–considering how unhealthy the relationship will become over time. My father has two marriages under his belt with the last costing him dearly. Even though he knew in the back of his head he shouldn’t have said “I do,” he made the decision to couple up with a woman who had no problems expressing her love for gold (to say the least). While their divorce set him back financially — to the point of almost filing for bankruptcy — he knew his sanity and well-being were more important. After years of saving, he’s currently enjoying the retired life in a new home free of debt… and my former stepmother.

If there was ever a moral to this story, it’s to figure out how compatible you are with someone before you get into a marriage. In addition to their quarrels and arguments, these two don’t see eye-to-eye when it comes to finances. He saves, she spends. Money is one of the top reasons why folks split, but apparently it could be the thing keeping these two together. Sometimes financial backlash is an investment worth taking–especially if you have the time and will to better your situation.

Who knows what will happen to these two. Hopefully others won’t make the same mistakes, or at least learn from them should they happen. Here are some reads that might help in this arena:

The Financial Kiss of Death? There’s More to Marriage Than a Fancy Wedding

When the Future of Marriage is Over Before it Begins: Financial Tips for Calling Off a Wedding

How to Resolve Money Issues in Your Marriage

The Financial Do’s and Don’ts of Engagement

Should “I Do” Last Forever? These 15 Celebs Don’t Think So

January 24th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Should all celebrity marriages last forever? These stars certainly didn’t think so. Were their make ups to breakups justified? Or should they have tried harder to stick it out?

Image Source: WENN.com

Image Source: WENN.com

NeNe Leakes

NeNe Leakes agreed to “in sickness” and “in health” but not “in infidelity.” When her husband Gregg Leakes let fame get to his head, Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes handed him divorce papers. Not only did he clean up his act, but the tow got re-married on one of TV’s most star-studded weddings.

Why Having Divorced Parents Is Good For Your Relationships

January 3rd, 2015 - By Julia Austin
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Shutterstock

Having divorced parents can make a person acutely aware of all the little things that can ruin a relationship. Is that a big burden to carry? Yes. But in many ways it is a blessing. Here are some ways having divorced parents could be good for your relationships.

It’s Official! Taye Diggs & Idina Menzel Finally File For Divorce

January 3rd, 2015 - By Courtney Whitaker
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Taye Diggs

Source: WENN

When Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel first announced their split in December 2013, the entertainment world was shocked. The seemingly happy couple had been married for 10 years and had a gorgeous 5 year old son together.

Now, after announcing their split over a year ago, the couple has finally filed for divorce. According to TMZ, Taye filed the divorce petition in New York in November. The couple had remained separated until then.

The couple first met in 1995 on the set of the original production of Rent. The two made a very talented couple. Idina is known for her roles in Wicked and Frozen. As for Taye Diggs, we know and love him from movies like Brown Sugar and The Best Man.

As for the status of their divorce, the two are peacefully settling things.

Hollywood Divorce: Yaya Dacosta Splits From Filmmaker Husband

December 22nd, 2014 - By Veronica Wells
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Yaya Dacosta Splits From Filmmaker Husband

Source: WENN

“Starts off like a small-town marriage, lovely wife and life, baby carriage. Now, all the stars have cars, success of course. But it ends in Hollywood divorce, Hollywood divorce.”

Sadly, yet another celebrity couple bites the dust. This time it’s former “America’s Next Top Model” and actress Yaya DaCosts and her filmmaker husband Joshua Bee Alafia. A rep for Yaya confirmed the story for Us Weekly. 

The couple are parting ways after two years of marriage and welcoming their son Sankara into the world in 2013.

The couple married in 2012 during an outdoor wedding ceremony in Pennsylvania. Both have yet to speak publicly about their breakup.

We’re sad to hear about this particularly since they just had a child and Yaya’s acting career is starting to really pop.

She’ll star in the Lifetime Whitney biopic airing on January 17 at 8/7c.

Are More People Happily Married? A Declining Divorce Rate Says Yes

December 3rd, 2014 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

With Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s “consciously uncoupling” and various media outlets talking up the climbing statistics of divorce, we’d think everyone’s splitting up. But The New York Times finds divorce is actually at an all-time low. The publication says the institution of marriage is at its strongest after surviving ceiling-shattering 1970s and early 1980s divorce rates.

The New York Times reports that 70 percent of the marriages that began in the early ‘90s have reached their 15th anniversary (excluding couples in which a spouse died). If this trend continues, two-thirds of those marriages will never be taken to divorce court.

There are a few reasons why divorce has been on a decline: people are deciding to marry later on in life, more contraceptive use and the rise of marriages who are based on love and not finances among them. The NY Times links this to how gender roles have changed over the past century. William Doherty, a marriage therapist and professor of family social services at University of Minnesota, says two-thirds of divorce were initiated by women. The NY Times concludes:

“The people who married soon before the feminist movement were caught in the upheaval. They had married someone who was a good match for the postwar culture but the wrong partner after times changed. Modern marriage is more stable because people are again marrying people suitable to the world in which we live. The delay in marriage is part of the story, allowing people more time to understand what they want in a partner and to find one. The median age for marriage in 1890 was 26 for men and 22 for women. By the 1950s, it had dropped to 23 for men and 20 for women. In 2004, it climbed to 27 for men and 26 for women.”

Headline and Global News (HNGN) reports that divorces can also be influenced by age. If you have a five-year age gap, there’s an 18 percent chance of divorce compared to a three percent chance for couples who have a single year age difference. The percentages rise as age gaps widen between couples, with couples who are 20 years a part divorcing at a 90 percent rate.

It is also reported that despite the statistical research, it does not mean long-lasting marriages are healthy or happy. HNGN says many marriages stay intact because of financial, religious, ethnic or child-rearing reasons.

Oil Executive Ordered To Pay Ex-Wife Nearly $1 Billion, She Wants More

November 15th, 2014 - By Ann Brown
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Harold Hamm and his wife in 2012.  (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images for TIME)

Harold Hamm and his wife in 2012. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images for TIME)

 

Sue Ann Hamm, the woman who just this week was awarded nearly $1 billion in a divorce settlement with her billionaire husband Harold Hamm, is appealing for more because she says that figure is “not equitable.” The decision is one of the largest in US history.

According to Hamm’s lawyer, the settlement allows her ex to keep 94 percent of the $18 billion increase in the value of his shares of Continental Resources, that company for which he serves as CEO. The judge decided that $1.4 billion of that increase is”marital capital.” That was the basis for his decision.

The former Mrs. Hamm, a lawyer and economist, actually once worked for Continental in an executive capacity. She left the company in 2008 and, according to MSN, worked from home at times while caring for the couple’s two children.

The couple had no prenuptial agreement. Harold Hamm founded the company in 1967 and married Sue Ann more than 20 years later. He grew from the being the 13th child of sharecroppers to the richest man in Oklahoma.

h/t Hip Hop Wired

Additional contribution by Tonya Garcia

—————

Originally published November 11, 2014

Wow! This is some divorce settlement.

A wealthy American businessman was ordered to pay his ex-wife almost $1 billion in a divorce settlement. An Oklahoma County judge ordered oil mogul Harold Hamm to hand over $995.5 million to Sue Ann Hamm following a divorce battle that lasted two years and a trial that lasted two months. But Hamm won’t go broke like GinuwineHamm, who is CEO of shale oil producer Continental Resources, is worth about $14 billion. The settlement equals about 7 percent of his worth.

Continental investors were happy with the judgment as they were worried Hamm would be forced to sell off a huge portion of his 68 percent stake in the company, reports The Financial Times.

A third of the divorce settlement must be paid by the end of the year. After that he has to pay $7 million-per-month installments.

“Sue Ann Hamm has already been awarded around $25 million since the case was filed in 2012, the filing says,” reports Reuters. To make sure Hamm pays his former wife, the judge has placed a lien on 20 million shares of Continental stock, according to court papers.

In a statement to Forbes, Hamm seemed happy it was over. He said:

Today Judge Howard Haralson handed down his ruling in the Hamm v. Hamm divorce case.  This has been a long and arduous process and we are appreciative of Judge Harralson and his staff for their dedication and attention to the witnesses and evidence presented.  This is a fair and equitable outcome to the case.

When all is said and done, the Hamm divorce could wind up being the most expensive divorce ever. “And so much for early speculation, roiling since papers were filed in 2012, that this divorce could end up being the costliest of all time.  For now, that title belongs to Russian ‘Fertilizer King’ Dmitry Rybolovlev, who has been ordered to pay wife Elena $4.5 billion,” reports Forbes.

How To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage (While You’re Still Dating)

November 13th, 2014 - By Meg Butler
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There’s no secret to getting and staying married. But you do have to work at it. And the best time to start is before you tie the knot. Divorce-proof your marriage while you’re still dating and when you do jump the broom, it’s more likely to be forever.

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Wait To Tie The Knot

Love at fist sight is a beautiful thing, but couples who wait three years or more to get engaged are 39% less likely to get divorced.

Divorce Dollars: How To Get Unwed Without Wasting Money

October 30th, 2014 - By Ann Brown
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Divorce is not only emotionally draining, but financially draining as well. Bruce Cameron of Cameron Law PLLC tells The Huffington Post the generally accepted figure for a divorce is anywhere from $15,000 to $20,000. “Basically it costs as much to get unmarried as it does to get married,” says Cameron.

The Root Live: Bring It to the Table recently addressed the issue of how to get divorced without going broke. Host Harriette Cole spoke with certified divorce coach Tamara Harris Robinson, who works with families in the transition to divorce, and Prudential professional ShirleyAnn Robertson.

Here are some of the important takeaways:

Make your divorce process as quick as possible. Robinson found herself in a costly, long-drawn-out divorce. “I filed for divorce in 2007 and like most people my only previous court experience was in traffic court or for jury duty,” says Robinson, whose own experience led her to launch her firm to help other divorced women in transition. Instead of being a smooth process, Robinson’s divorce turned out to be very complicated due to joint business ties and children.

“It ended up in a very expensive six-year process,” she recalls. “When I went through my divorce journey I realized divorce was one thing that could really destroy generational wealth.” In other words, with the cost of divorce lawyers being so high, a long divorce can eat into money you planned on passing down to your children.

Look at ways to cut divorce costs. Robinson suggests going over with your soon to be ex what their priorities are. And look at the things you can negotiate on without a lawyer and then tackle the things that are nonnegotiable with attorneys.

Get into reality. Robertson advises her clients to put their old financial life behind. “This transition is about financially redefining yourself. You had two incomes, you were spending summers in Florida and your were going to have a certain lifestyle.” That’s over. But she adds, if you don’t adjust you will be in a disastrous financial space. “You will be living of one income,” she adds.

“Understand your fantasy and what is you new reality,” adds Robinson. It’s a time to move on.

Do you want to cut all ties? With certain assets, such as pensions, you will have to remain in contact with your ex possibly for a long time. Decide if this is something you want. You may decide instead to take a cash settlement up front in lieu of pension payouts, offers Robinson.