All Articles Tagged "dating"
Single moms have a lot on their plates. They’re tasked with rearing children, managing households, bringing home the bacon, frying it up, serving it, and then some. With all that they are responsible for, it’s amazing to think that some of them are still able to make time for themselves and the things that they enjoy — like dating, for example. But perhaps their ever-growing list of responsibilities makes them better at time management, more intuitive, and more efficient at executing tasks, which are great qualities to possess when taking on the world of online dating.
This may explain why a recent survey conducted by online dating site Plenty of Fish found that single mothers are finding partners 10 percent faster than the average user. While researchers did not offer any potential theories as to why they believe that their female members with children are swiftly connecting with Mr. Right, it seems that moms have a lot less time to waste than the average dater, which means that they’re less likely to spend time going on dates and communicating with people with whom they see no future.
And speaking of time, more than 50 percent of moms expressed that they prefer online dating to dating the old-fashioned way because it allows them to spend more time with their children. It’s also quite convenient. More than 60 percent of moms reported being active on the dating site whenever they found a spare second between juggling the rest of their responsibilities. As for what attracted them to online dating in the first place, 43 percent percent of participants said they decided to give online dating a try after hearing success stories from other women.
More than sixty percent agreed that their kids disapproving of a new partner could be a dealbreaker and is a serious red flag. Unsurprisingly, single moms were 3.4 percent more likely to date single dads. And the most common thing that moms are looking for in a match is a solid partnership. Romance and fun came in at second and third place.
Well, there goes that ridiculous ideology that women with kids are “undateable” and viewed as damaged goods. Clearly, someone is interested.
Are you a single mom who has tried online dating? How has your experience been?
It’s free to walk up to someone, to slide in a person’s direct messages, or to slide your number in their hand (or their phone) at a social event, but to actually make a real effort to date them? Now that’s expensive.
In the early stages of dating, the impression you make is important, so you have to choose date venues, activities, and ideas wisely. There’s the pressure of keeping the other party interested, excited, and happy because you don’t want to bore them to death in the process of getting to know them. In the age of $200 date debates, are you ready for this new age of dating standards and expectations? More importantly, can you afford them?
According to Cosmopolitan, the average person will spend between $80-$100 on a single date night. Doing simple math, if you plan about two dates a week, you could find yourself spending upwards of $800 a month. A recent study by Match.com showed that American singles spend about $60 a month on dating, and if you live in a large city, that number basically doubles. It’s not uncommon to splurge in the beginning of the relationship, especially on the first date when you want to make a good impression and show the other party how serious you are about getting to know them, but as time goes on in the relationship, you’re quick to realize that your pockets can’t handle it anymore. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with staying in some nights, ordering food, and watching a movie together, but when that becomes your go-to “date,” things can get a bit boring pretty fast.
After surveying a few social media followers on whether finances determined their dating patterns, most admitted to being single because they couldn’t afford to pay their own expenses while also attempting to “wine and dine” someone “every other night.” There were a few followers who said they try to be creative with date ideas in order to save money. Some still resided with their parents and expressed that while they could afford to date someone, it usually didn’t go far because of their living situation. But the consensus was that yes, dating is expensive. It’s something you have to budget for as an entertainment expense. And with prices going up rapidly for many date night activities (remember when movie tickets used to be around $7?), sometimes it feels like you can’t get to know someone without spending a pretty penny.
If you find yourself in the position where you have to say a prayer every time you hand the waiter or cashier your credit card hoping that your payment is processed, chances are, dating is a financial burden for you. If you find yourself constantly bringing up splitting expenses on a sneak tip because you don’t want to just come out and say you don’t have enough and would like for your date to help, you can’t afford to date. When you find yourself constantly swiping when you’re already near the red and hoping you have enough funds in your savings to cover overdraft fees, dating shouldn’t be a priority for you right now. And when the reason you can’t go out on dates is because you’re struggling to pay bills, get groceries, and barely function, you have to ask yourself, are you financially in a place to build with someone towards a relationship or do you need to focus on getting your life together?
Continued from: #RelationshipGoals: Should A Relationship Ever Be Open?
Ah, the joys and pains of an open relationship. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle it, but I figured I would give it a try anyway. I judged people who opened up their relationship, wondering if it was just delaying the end. But when I found myself in that sticky situation, I needed to know: how do you know you’re breaking up? Was my open relationship a sign?
“Wow, I didn’t really think you’d be into it,” Jackson said as he put his fork down in his plate of half-eaten risotto.
“Then why would you ask?” I was confused, but secretly delighted that Jackson was getting worried about our relationship going from exclusive to open.
There was a long pause. I sipped my wine. Jackson moved his risotto around on his plate. More pausing.
“Alright then,” Jackson was reluctantly agreeing to open our relationship–something he’d originally suggested.
I wasn’t sure how to even start opening up a relationship. So I did what any clueless girl in love would do–asked my friends.
I met my friend Keri out for dinner and before we could even order an appetizer, I blurted out, “Jackson wants an open relationship.”
“Girl, what?” Keri asked. She heard me, but she just needed me to repeat the crazy that escaped my lips.
Keri interrupted me, “I heard you. I just…Danielle, what in the world does that even mean?”
“We both want to stay romantically involved, but we want some space,” at least that was the definition I’d built since my last dinner with Jackson.
“The lies you tell!” Keri screamed and laughed. “Isn’t that just a long ass breakup?”
“Is it? Because I feel like it’s something that could work–give us space, time and clarity…”
Ker interrupted me again, “To screw other people.”
“Date!” I corrected her.
“So that’s what you’ve agreed on?” Keri attempted to flag down the waiter who hadn’t even had the chance to come over and introduce himself to us. “Momma needs a drank!” Keri said, fanning herself with the cloth napkin on the table.
I laughed, “Same.”
“Danielle, do you really think this is something you want to do?”
“Well, I’m not 100 percent sure, but he suggested it and I took some time and decided to go for it. Now he’s not so sure about it,” I laughed.
“I just think opening a relationship is delaying the inevitable–the break up. Jackson is a great guy, but he’s showing you that he doesn’t have what it takes to give you the commitment you need and deserve, girl. But I know you’re going to do what you want, just know that I don’t think it’s a smart thing to do.” Keri finally flagged down the waiter.
“I don’t know, Keri. I feel like, if we break up to give each other space, there’s a chance we won’t come back to each other. If we stay together and date, there’s a bigger chance that we’ll come back to each other with some stronger feelings,” I almost didn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth.
“Or you’ll both fall for someone else.” Keri switched gears. “If I get the yucca fries, will you have some? I’m only getting them if you have some.”
A few weeks later, I found myself still with Jackson, but in an open relationship. At first, neither one of us really knew how we’d go about opening things up and then it happened. I met someone.
At first, I didn’t think anything would actually happen with this guy, Abdul. We met at a club where he worked as a bouncer. He flirted, I flirted and we exchanged numbers by the end of the night. I even fought myself on sharing my number because I was taken, and then I reminded myself that the relationship was open.
Abdul kept the flirting going strong–texts, late night phone calls, occasional emails of interesting, cool and heart-warming stories he’d read and wanted to share with me. This was refreshing and I was always excited to get these forms of communication from Abdul. We started getting much closer.
One night, Jackson and I decided to have a date night for old time’s sake. We’d been talking, but not as much as I’d been talking to Abdul. Jackson and I decided to go for dinner and drinks. During dinner, Abdul and I were chatting and making date night plans of our own.
Jackson noticed how often I picked up my phone, the stupid smile plastered on my face, and he frowned, “Those must be some amazing Snapchat posts,” he tried to joke.
I laughed and finished my text and put my phone away, “I’m all yours…well, not really.” I smirked.
“Cute,” Jackson fake laughed. “Who was that?”
“A guy I met a couple of weeks ago,” I said casually while sampling his dish.
“Oh OK,” Jackson proceeded to be quiet for the rest of the night.
Any joke I made, he’d give me a fake chuckle. Anytime I tried to hold his hand, he’d find a reason to pull it away. By the time we made it to the bar, I tried to lighten the mood every which way I knew how, but Jackson was determined to be seething, but still cool.
We were both a bit tipsy when I asked, “Baby, what’s up?”
Jackson laughed, “Baby.”
“Yes, baby…the name I am always calling you,” I was getting upset with his attitude. My phone rang. It was Abdul. I text him that I was out and will call later.
That stupid smile must have found its way right back to my lips because Jackson immediately asked, with venom in his tone, “Was that the guy?”
“What’s going on Jackson?” I asked, trying not to answer his question.
“I think we should break up, that’s what,” Jackson couldn’t even look at me when he said it.
“What?!” Heat flashed in my cheeks and found its way to my ears. I was livid. “Break up?”
“Break up,” Jackson repeated.
“Give me one good reason,” I searched for his eyes.
“I can give you two,” Jackson turned towards me. “You met someone and I met someone.”
My heart sank. Was my girl Keri right? Were Jackson and I just dragging out our break up instead of going through with it? Did Jackson really meet someone or was he trying to make me just as jealous as I made him? Was any of this healthy? I had all the questions and I am sure you do too, but you’re just going to have to wait until next week to see how Jackson and I kept things together, or fell apart.
Come back next week for the conclusion!
It happens all the time: you meet a guy and right away you’re kind of sure he’s something special. You think about him at work, after work, on the ride home — pretty much all the time. But you haven’t actually spent any time with him.
And that’s not always a good thing. Before you let a guy monopolize your thoughts, it’s better to make sure he’s worth it first.
When you build a guy up in your mind, it can stop you from seeing the real him. Sometimes it’s better to put a new guy on the back burner until his actions prove that he’s worthy. A little skepticism can go a long way toward protecting your heart before you’re too invested (or texting him back to back).
Sound easier said than actually done? Here’s how not to obsess over a new guy until he proves he’s worth it.
Men and women are pretty different. And that’s never more obvious than when it’s that time of the month. Some men really are at a loss when it comes to the mysteries of the female body — especially when that female body is toying around with our emotions and getting on our very last nerve. But there’s no reason to have a misunderstanding every time Aunt Flo comes knocking. Helping your partner understand your cycle, your emotions during that time, and how they can refrain from annoying you during it, could make everyone happier.
These are the things we wish every man in our lives knew about PMS. So forward this to your boyfriend, husband, or homieloverfriend well before your jeans start to feel tight and your skin starts to break out. And if there’s anything we missed on this list, leave it in the comments. We’ll be sure to share it with the fellas we know.
Imagine if the hit ABC series The Bachelorette had a leading woman of color who revealed the god-awful truth about dating in the millennial age and reality television?
Well, it would look a lot like this collaboration between Keke Palmer and Funny Or Die who joined forces to create an epic spin-off spoof titled, The Millennial Bachelorette. Starring as Micole, a 20-something career-driven woman, Palmer hilariously approaches the ten Twitter-verified suitors producers choose for her by asking, “Where are all the Black guys?” As the trailer for The Millennial Bachelorette unfolds we see Micole communicate with her suitors via text or Tinder and even perform rose ceremonies by sending some suitors rose emojis making others sad when they realize they didn’t receive the special graphic. Interestingly enough, The Millennial Bachelorette mimicked ABC by adding a random cameo of their own —the singer Jojo, who is seeking a love interest whom she’ll eventually distance herself from once she goes on tour.
If that weren’t enough, the show also poked fun at how millennials vie for wireless access, non-exclusive relationships and of course the platonic friend who isn’t really a friend, causing two-person relationships to become messy love triangles.
Check out the funny video below and tell us if this parody hit a little too close to home for you, too.
Would you search for a travel partner on a dating site? It turns out plenty of women are.
Take Jenna for example, a woman who decided to join eHarmony to find a traveling partner to join her on a variety of trips. When she signed up for the acclaimed dating site, Jenna decided to reset her location settings to find a person who had the same values and a traveling spirit. Luckily, she was matched with her now-husband Ben. When they met virtually, Ben and Jenna were 7,500 miles apart and eventually coordinated their travels to meet in person. Since then, the two have gotten married and traveled the world together.
Although Jenna’s method to find love is extremely unconventional, other women have claimed to use similar methods and risks to connect with men abroad. In a compilation of love stories for Vagabound3.com, female travel bloggers shared how they met their significant others in places that were unfamiliar to them.
Edna, who runs the site ExpatEdna.com, revealed how she and her fiancé fell in love in Singapore after she became his roommate. “There were already two guys in the flat, they were looking for a third roommate. One was British and had just moved to Singapore a week earlier, so I immediately started inviting him to hang out as I remembered how hard it could be to find a group of friends after moving to a new city. After a couple weeks we knew we liked each other; once we moved into the flat we hung out even more and after a month started dating. We took our first trip together after only six weeks, to the romantic island of Bali,” she shared.
Amanda, the founder of MacroMama, shared how her husband proposed to her a few months after they met on a crowded street in Marrakesh, Morocco. “We did keep in touch and in a few months, I had booked a ticket for a short visit and found myself again in Morocco. He asked me to marry him on this trip and as fast and crazy as it seemed – I knew it was right. After seven years, an immigration headache and two kids, we’re as in love as we were at that first glance.”
Do you think travel is the perfect segue to romance?
“Crazy” is a label that gets tossed at women an unfair amount. We’ve heard about “crazy ex-girlfriends,” “irrational women,” and we’ve all been accused of having “PMS” and the “crazy eye” when that isn’t the case at all. The label gets thrown around so much that sometimes we wonder if it’s true — but you shouldn’t believe the hype.
Is it just us, or have you noticed that men throw around “crazy” just around the time that they do something out of line and when they can’t handle your reaction? You’re “clingy” when you call him three times in a row, but what is he when he bails on plans without calling to cancel or picking up the phone to tell you why?
I think that “crazy” is a label we should stop buying into or accepting because many men are just using it to cover their bad behavior. Do you agree?
With all that life has to throw at us, sometimes we inadvertently let ourselves go. Between work, kids, and maintaining relationships, we often forget to add ourselves to our to-do lists. In the hustle and bustle of work, school, and just trying to be epic, I hadn’t realized I was looking as tired as I felt until my boyfriend casually donated his two cents on my looks.
“You know it’s time for a new wig right?” #true story.
Despite being slightly mortified, I couldn’t help but appreciate his honesty, because it really was time for a new wig. While in between hair-dos, I opted for a quick and inexpensive fix, and for that I paid a price. To save you from a similar experience, here are a few tricks you can implement into your schedule to keep your man, and your appearance on fleek! Keep it right, keep it tight!
- “Treat yoself”: Treat yourself to great investment pieces for your wardrobe. Stretching your bucks on staple, yet transitional items like, blazers, jeans, shoes, and accessories will allow you to look fab in half the time. Choose neutrals that you can work casually and professionally while using bold colored accessories to spice up your look. Patterned clothing is also great because it makes a bold statement and chic look effortlessly. You will also be able to mix new and old items in your closet creating a wide range of looks for any occasion.
- Pamper yourself: Be it in the salon, or at home find time in your schedule for a mani & pedi. Lunchtime is the perfect time for a mini escape, and quick foot rub while catching up on E-mails, updating your schedule, and taking a moment to decompress. If you prefer to DIY, grab your favorite ESSIE or OPI nail polish, and finger nail kit while going over homework with the kids. While your mini is working out math problems you can sit still long enough to let your nails dry without feeling like time is being wasted. If you can squeeze in a quick polish before dinner prep, this would be the perfect time to get it done, allowing your toes to dry while you chef it up!
- Don’t skimp: Take it from me, when it comes to your hair, go the extra mile. No matter what hurdles you may have to jump, make it a point to set and keep your hair appointment. Be it natural, weave, or wig, find your best go-to look and perfect it! With spring upon us, and summer on the horizon you can’t go wrong with a fiery short cut. Bobs and pixie cuts are perfect for moms on the go due to very low maintenance. If you have an undying affinity for lengthy tresses, you can’t a sleek up do, be it a ponytail or bun you can dash out of the house at a moment’s notice looking polished in either!
Being in a relationship is cool when you’ve found the right person, but sometimes the person you thought was right for you turns out to be anything but months later. Things were moving too fast too soon, and because of that, the things that you should have paid attention to became a blur.
There are several reasons why couples end up moving too fast in the hopes of creating a lasting connection. Maybe you were blinded by the excitement of someone new or perhaps it was the clock ticking loudly in your ear, telling you to hurry up and get your life together so that you could settle down. You find yourself enveloped in infatuation with the idea of a person, but when you truly get to know them and spend a large chunk of your time together, you begin to wonder if you can slow things down without ruining the good that still exists. This is my current dilemma, and if you’ve also found yourself in a similar predicament, know that it doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship. There are ways to pump the brakes, slow it down, and put things in reverse.
For starters, pull up your big girl panties and make it known to your partner that you would like to slow things down and maybe redefine the terms of your relationship. Consider how long you’ve been dating and the problems that have presented themselves thus far and discuss them. Maybe you got into something you weren’t expecting. Maybe your partner isn’t holding themselves to what they said they could do and handle, or maybe there’s a thick layer of complacency and comfort brewing between the two of you that needs to be cut. The best way to handle this situation is to first address it. Because if you’re feeling this way, you can’t just assume that your partner is going to be able to tell what’s going on in your head.
The second thing to do is fill idle time with productive things you enjoy, such as work or a hobby. Give each other a break. When I didn’t have anything to do and when I had a lot of free time, I often filled it by being with my partner. It’s important to give each other space to do the things that you enjoy doing as individuals. When you’re smothering each other and feel attached at the hip, things can change really quickly and get obnoxious. Rather than letting the relationship unfold in due time, you’re finding out all there is to know about each other up front, which leaves nothing intriguing or cute left to be discovered. Reiterate the importance of having a separate life and balancing the amount of alone time with quality time together. Picking up a hobby and creating space isn’t about avoiding your significant other. It’s about pacing the amount of intense, on-top-of-each-other-but-not-in-the-way-you’d-like time spent together.
And most importantly, try and keep your relationship between the two of you. Don’t be too hasty to meet the important people in their lives just yet or have them meet your side. If you’ve only been dating for less than six months, you probably shouldn’t be meeting the parents or the grandparents. Meeting some of each other’s friends is one thing, but reconsider scheduling that brunch with the parents. Meeting the parents and other family members is a surefire way to hit the accelerator on things. If you’ve already taken that step, express to your partner how you feel about the pace of things, and agree that for the time being, you’ll stop making appearances at all of the family gatherings.
There are some cases where slowing down means coming to a complete halt, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. Just make sure you take your time getting to know one another so the fire doesn’t burn out too fast and keep the lines of communication open between the two of you so that you both know what you want, and how soon.