All Articles Tagged "dating"
Men truly love the women they live for. The way they move, groove, shake and bake are just some of the few things why we revere them so. You can’t live without them, and were raised by them… but by all means they are not perfect. Here are the top 15 things women do that could drive a man — and their relationship — insane.
It was one of those snowy and frigid Friday nights when I had absolutely no desire to leave my apartment. And neither did my roommates. So we all decided to crack open a huge bottle of Ciroc I received as a Christmas gift, pretended to be snowed in and got toasty. Two cocktails in, my flavor-of-the-month (aka Korey, everyone’s favorite disappearing boyfriend) text me, asking me if we could hang out. My inebriated fingers tapped away on my iPhone and before I could even logically process the answer he deserved (hell no), I was telling him to come over and bring party favors. Blame it on the alcohol.
Even though my roommates weren’t Korey’s biggest fan, their pending drunkenness make it easier for him to walk through our front door an hour later, ready to party with us. “The gentle giant!” My roomie, Lisa cooed when she opened the the door and spotted Korey’s staggering 6’4″ frame. Korey smiled, revealing those pearly whites against his ebony skin–the color combination alone was enough to make me weak. They hugged.
I nearly tackled Korey, hugging him like he’d just come back from war. “Y’all already toasted?” Korey laughed, watching my eyes dance around his face. “I brought the favors,” he said pulling out a small bag of Mary Jane. I took his coat, draped it over my arm. A small sandwich bag filled with white capsules hit the floor. I didn’t even notice and almost stepped on it, but Korey put his arm in front of me, “Hold on babe…” He reached down and picked up the packet of pills, “These ain’t for y’all, unless y’all trying to party…?” He tilted his head back and gave us all questioning glances with one eye brow raised.
My roommate, Lisa scrunched up her face and shook her head, “No thanks, I’m going to bed soon. Party time almost over for me,” she said in a fake island accent.
Korey laughed, “Kim?” he asked my other roommate.
Kim perked up, as she was pregaming and had plans to paint Brooklyn red that night. “Uhm, mayyyybe, but I am headed out and don’t want to be the only one who’s…well, on something,” she laughed.
Korey slipped the pills back into the secret pocket in his coat. “I know you don’t do this,” he smiled and patted me on the butt. “Unless…” he trailed off, his eyes glued to my butt as I walked down the hall to hang his coat.
Read more of this personal story at HelloBeautiful.com
Dating is all about being able to eventually find the one, Mr. Right, or whatever else you want to call him. However, for some women, it seems like the harder you try to find the one, the harder dating becomes, and the less success you have. Here are some signs that you’re trying too hard to find the one and how you can tone things down a bit and put yourself at ease. Time is on your side, so enjoy the journey.
If there’s one thing we learned from “Being Mary Jane” it’s that it’s not hard to accidentally find yourself the other woman. If your struggle goes as deep as Pauletta’s, here are a few tips that might help you let that toxic relationship go.
Go Cold Turkey
Delete his number, de-friend him on Facebook, cut off his friend circle, then keep yourself busy with friends until the sting wears off. And when you feel like backsliding…
Sharing one’s body is among the most initmate things we can do, so how can you establish the level of openness and trust necessary to feel comfortable? Read on to see the different ways you can indentify a truthworthy lover and how to value yourself and body.
1. Sex Is A Choice, Not A Gift
Sex isn’t something you give away to someone else, it’s a decision you make for yourself. It’s not something you provide in exchange for gifts, guarantees or security. Making choices about sex begins with you, not them.
2. Trust Is Based On Evidence
Naïveté & gullibility are results of inexperience or ignoring intuition and result in extending trust where evidence is lacking or questions remain. What someone says, even how they make you feel aren’t what trust is built on. It’s the degree to which you know them and how consistently their actions match their words. Explanations and excuses in any part of life are a sign of incongruence in all parts of life.
3. ‘Exclusivity’ is a Decision Not A Right
Exclusivity is a decision made for one’s self, not a conditional demand that can be placed on another. Both individuals must make this decision of their own free will, not pressured by the other to come to the same terms at the same time.
Any decision made under durress is worth little and therefor the reality is that this is the most challenging of all relationship decisions as there is no guarantee that exclusivity will be offered in return or way to control whether they are being truthful.
4. How Long You Wait Is A Personal Choice
It’s a myth that men are more interested in sex and women in relationships, and that therefore women hold the ‘sexual’ currency and men hold the ‘relational’ currency. Waitng to have sex or abstinance is not a tool to control the behavior or choices of another and no one has the right to demand abstinence or exclusivity of another.
Intimacy is a gift that can only be given, not a commodity offered on specific conditions. This is true regardless of the nature or length of the relationship. The idea that someone owes us sexual availability, exclusivity or mutual abstinence is about control and an inability to manage the risks of intimacy.
Read more about relationships at YourTango.com
Ever slipped up and said something you didn’t mean to say on a first date, or said something right in front of your date because you assumed he couldn’t hear you or didn’t understand the code you were speaking in? Chances are we’ve all been there before, but in case you haven’t, it goes a little something like this….and it ain’t pretty.
Check out the video up top and tell us what you think. Have you ever been in a situation like this?
More #ThatAwkwardMoment Videos:
An Alpha Male, by definition, is the dominant man, the man who takes charge and won’t take no for an answer. There are lots of traits to be admired in such men: They go after what they want, are self-assured, decisive and tend to look damn good in a white T-shirt. However, there are unfortunately many downsides to dating an alpha male, and in this day and age of gender equality (supposedly), there are many women opting for the more trustworthy, sensitive beta male, and here’s just a few reasons why:
The alpha male lacks perspective. Where does he get that self confidence of his that we were so attracted to initially? Being completely and utterly involved…with himself. It doesn’t take long to figure out when he claims that he can do no wrong, everything is your fault and that viewpoint of yours is simply not valid enough, I’m afraid.
He is controlling. Dating an alpha male can be fun at first, always having someone else take charge. It’s sexy to be with a guy who know what he wants. On the other hand, it’s not sexy to be told what to do, never to have a say in things, and be constantly under his rule. This is the 21st century!
Read more about relationships with Alpha males at YourTango.com
From Single Black Male
I tread on thin ice today. By the end of this post I am sure to ease the minds of all religious people. The title of this post isn’t exactly what you might think. Allow me to preface my post. I think if you’re a woman and you’re spiritual that’s great. I believe in God myself and that’s well and good. That’s not something that ever needs changing.
Recently I participated in @Iamjaymayo ‘s “Women’s Empowerment Month” on up4discussion.org. The post I wrote for the site was based on the importance of being balanced. You can read it here. I basically say that men are likely to take a woman more seriously if she’s more interesting. I feel that if you present an interest in a variety of things and don’t bombard a guy with just one interest then he’ll enjoy you more.
There’s a certain stigma attached to what I call a “churchy” woman. In other words, we’d call this person an over the top fanatic. The stigma is that a churchy woman isn’t fun. That she is uptight. She could possibly be bitter. Lastly a guy might also think that he couldn’t ever get any buns with you while dating.That’s a real concern for many. All of the above could absolutely be untrue. In fact, Dr. J touched on a similar subject here. You could be a woman that’s into everything equally. You just have to show that.
Read more about dating as a religious fanatic at SingleBlackMale.org
It’s been said that you don’t really know someone until you live with them. Once you’ve been in a relationship with a man for some time it’s not uncommon for the next step to be moving in together, but living together is an entirely new beast for couples to tackle and sometimes, this beast can end a relationship. Here are 14 tips for making your house into a home with your man once you two decide to live together.
Yes, you read that title correctly. It’s possible.
There’s a lot of politics that go into dumping someone correctly. Ideally, it would be done face-to-face, and probably in a public area in order to avoid a crazy scene. But now, it seems like times have changed in a world where technology is interfering in more areas of our lives.
Here are 10 situations where it’s okay to dump someone through text message.
1. It’s the early days.
If you’ve only been on a few dates, a breakupmight not even be necessary, unless someone is truly confused as to why you’ve disappeared off the face of the planet. But a text message is okay in this instance. You barely know the person. Three or four dates equal about eight hours together. No need for a long handwritten letter. In fact, you probably don’t even know your dumpee’s address.
Read more breaking up via text on YourTango.com