All Articles Tagged "dating rules"
Do you want to know why you don’t have to follow all of “the rules”? It’s not because they aren’t helpful. They are in place for a reason, or rather, for people who cannot think for themselves at times. But for the most part, everyone has heard so much about “the rules”—and everyone knows that everyone else has heard all about the rules—that, if your date appears to be “breaking” one, you know he isn’t some dumb*ss who never heard of the rule. Rather, he has made his own decision on how to deal with that situation. He has learned that things don’t always go catastrophically wrong if you break a rule. And if you’re breaking one of the rules yourself, most men are smart enough to know that doesn’t automatically mean things are going to play out exactly like GQ said they would when this “rule” was broken. You’ll see what I mean:
by Quierra Davis-Martin
For many years women have wondered if there was a right or wrong way to date. Every woman has had the horror story of going on a fabulous date with a guy they were immensely attracted to only to not hear back from him for a second date. We wonder, what went wrong? Was it something I said or did that turned my date off? The dating scene can be hard and brutal if you’re not aware of what’s appropriate to say and do when first meeting a guy.
The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by Elle Fein and Sherrie Schneider is a controversial self-help book originally published in 1995, which guided women on how to date, how to be a “creature unlike any other” and provided advice on what to do and not do during courtship. The Rules include:
1. Don’t open up too fast/ be honest but mysterious.
2. Don’t meet him half way or go on a Dutch date.
3. Love only those who love you.
4. Don’t talk to a man first and don’t call him first. If he doesn’t call he’s not that interested.
5. Don’t go overboard and other rules for “giving” to men and paying for things.
6. Don’t see him more than once or twice a week.
7. Don’t rush into sex and other rules for intimacy.
8. Don’t be a groupie and other rules for dating high profile celebrity men.
9. Don’t live with a man (or leave your things at his apartment).
10. Let him take the lead.
It seems by now almost everyone has dabbled in online dating. After all, with social networking at an all time high, it’s one of the fastest, easiest and most recession proof ways to meet someone nowadays. If you’re disengaged from the club scene, tired of trying to get your flirt on at the gym and not running into Mr. Right in the produce section of your local market, then online dating may be for you.
But there ARE some guidelines to consider when looking to get virtually booed up, so here are some tips to online dating…
Knowing what you want in a partner is a good thing. Making up a bunch of crazy rules that eliminate 99% of the eligible bachelors around, however, is not. The more restrictions you create, the harder it will be to find someone. You could be bypassing a lot of good dudes because you don’t date guys who workout at the Y or because you won’t call a man until you’ve had his number for a week.
Your process of elimination may be the reason why you’re single, especially if you fall into these dating ditches…
For some people just getting a date can be a strenuous and stressful exercise. For others getting the date isn’t the issue, knowing how to act once you get the date presents a problem…or two.
If you’re a nervous dater you could be taking yourself out of the game before homeboy even has a chance to get to know you.
Your Tango.com put together a list of dating dos and don’ts for your the next time you step out for a night on the town. The list includes tips like stay off the phone unless it’s an emergency, don’t discuss sex too early unless that’s all you’re looking for, and be prepared to pay for the two of you if you ask him out.
For the full list you can head over to Your Tango.com and check it out.
I must admit I do believe in the old saying “the best way to get over a man is to get another one!” Now before you get all upset and say you need to take time out for yourself and enjoy being single, let me tell you that I also totally agree. I don’t condone jumping from one relationship to another without any time off to reflect on what may have gone wrong or take a break from the mundane and enjoy the single life for a bit, but I am a firm believer that you should also have fun while doing so.
So if you have recently broken up with your beau and need to get your mind off the whole breakup here are a few rules to follow to have fun with a rebound:
A couple years ago I dated a woman who was cute, smart, mature, wore dreadlocks like a pro and with whom I shared an overall life perspective. She was also good in bed and had lots of wifey potential…except she had a young daughter whose physical influence was evident all over her midsection.
There was nothing I could do to prevent the squishy, stretch mark-laden mass from bothering me. I even asked my mother if I was being ridiculous: she informed me that if it bothers me now, it probably always would, which should be enough to move on. She was right…it was simply a non-negotiable.
I’m sure you’ve heard it before, “Before you can truly love someone else, you have to truly love yourself.” It makes sense and it sounds great, but what does “loving yourself” actually mean and does it have a big impact on the success of your relationship?
Here’s my take: In order to love yourself, you have to know yourself and many women don’t take the time to understand themselves and learn how to live with themselves without the support of anyone else.
I’m a fan of interracial relationships. For me, love doesn’t see color- and if it does, it appreciates and celebrates the entire rainbow. But the truth is that life isn’t always that simple. For some people, simply choosing to date interracially is a unique challenge unto itself. I’ve been in interracial relationships, and they were all great, very enriching experiences. But there were also unique issues, spurred primarily by our difference in backgrounds, that we had to deal with.
If you’ve ever been in an interracial relationship, or are currently in an interracial relationship, you may have dealt with things like the added stress of unsupportive family members, insensitive people, and/or discussing racially sensitive topics. You know interracial relationships can come with certain obstacles. The way you and your man choose to handle these issues can either make or break your relationship. Here are 4 rules for interracial dating: