Dear Damon,

I was in a … on and off again relationship with a guy PJ. We were young when we first met, started off as friends, then eventually fell for each other. We tried the dating thing 3 times. Each time he broke my heart over the same girl. The last time this happened was in 2010 , and I finally told him I’m done, don’t contact me any more & move on. I am over him & doing great.  Thing is I am very cool with his best friend Taylor, who recently (over the past year) has been trying to be in a relationship with me. Now Taylor has always been a big cheerleader of me & PJ’s relationship. I never thought anything about it. I knew he was the one always telling PJ  ”She’s a good women, you need to keep her” and “PJ stop messing this up with her you got a keeper.” I always thought he just saw me as real cool and was trying to make PJ see what he saw. Anyways I told him that we could never date, that it would be inappropriate (several times) and change the subject. Well now I’m starting to have feelings for him. Thing is while me & PJ were complete opposites me and Taylor are on the same page and have so much in common. Tay is college educated and going back to school to continue his education and is a big supporter of me getting my masters degree, Tay has a relationship with the lord and even volunteered to go to church with me when none of my girls can make it (my church is 1 hr away & he makes the ride with me), he is romantic and wants to settle down, he makes me laugh and is very attentive, he is respectful of my vow of celibacy till marriage….he is basically what I’m looking for. But isn’t it a bit taboo to date an ex’s friend? I keep saying ” no that would be wrong” when i think about it, but is it worth throwing away a perfectly amazing man to not cross any lines or step on my ex’s toes? So what do you think? Is it never worth it to date an ex’s friend? Or should we as grown people get over these so called “dating rules’ and see where love takes us?

Sincerely,

Ethics or Heart?

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