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We women know we can be a little emotional, and we can see how that can make it hard for men to discern the truly crazy ones that will engage them in a Fatal Attraction situation from those of us who are just displaying typical female behavior. But you need to know, because filing for a restraining order is a motha. Here are the signs.

There is only one difference between the crazy girlfriend and the cool girlfriend: the crazy one says what’s on her mind all the time. But be real: we all have mean, rude, selfish, paranoid and even insane thoughts occasionally. The trick to a successful relationship is gaining control over those thoughts, and learning when to speak up and when to bite your tongue, count to ten, and let it pass.

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You’ve been with your guy for about 6 months now, and you’ve even had the “boyfriend/girlfriend” talk (do people still do that?). Anyway, you think you know all there is to know about him – his mother’s maiden name, his likes and dislikes, his favorite cereal, etc. But men will never truly reveal everything to you, no matter how much he may like – or even love – you. It’s not that he’s keeping secrets or doesn’t trust you – it’s usually a case of him wanting to you to figure it out or just “know” him as time goes on. If you’re totally into him and care about him, there are some things you’ll just naturally pick up on; but if you have preconceived notions about your boo, you might not ever be able to understand him the way you possibly could. Whether it’s been months, or years, here are just a few things men won’t tell you – they just want you to “know.”

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Does every ex of yours avoid you like the plague? Do most of your breakups end with yelling, things breaking, and a borderline war? Are you incapable of an amicable split? If so, you might have some issues to work out before luring another victim into your web.

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So you’ve just gone through a breakup and you want to be sure you keep your cool. You don’t want to do anything that makes you look (and feel) desperate or like you’re falling apart. Some acts are obvious to stay away from. Others are a bit subtler until suddenly you feel like you’re spiraling out of control right after doing them. Avoid that “Oh my god…I’m a crazy ex!” moment and don’t do these things.

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Every woman gets a little emotional sometimes. We all do things we’re not proud of as a girlfriend sometimes, so don’t worry that you’re one of the crazy ones if you cry over nothing occasionally, get a little jealous or a little needy. That’s normal. What’s not normal is trying to manipulate, control or dominate your boyfriend. You should always fight for what you deserve, but not for more than that. Which is what you’re doing, if you do the following:

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Intentionally making him jealous

If you want more attention from your man then you should either tell him he needs to step it up or you might need to have a talk with yourself. You could be ignoring the fact that you just might be insecure and so you unfairly make others fill your void of confidence by getting attention from other men. But someone else shouldn’t have to hurt because you’re hurting. Your man shouldn’t have to feel jealous because you feel insecure. If you need to work on your self-confidence, you need to do that work. You can’t make someone else feel like it is their fault because until you deal with said insecurity, he will never be able to provide you with all the attention you want.