All Articles Tagged "couples"
Sometimes it seems like groupies get all the press. But not all celebrity men fall for fame hounds. These celebrity women hooked up with their men when they had nothing. Then they played the woman behind and beside the man. They started from the bottom and now they’re here…enjoying the limelight with the love of their lives.
Balancing the family budget requires teamwork and setting common goals. People who are in love support each other through thick and thin—through good and bad financial times. Before you decide that he’s the right guy to marry, you need to take a serious look at how he views financial goals, choices and commitments.
Since the number one cause of disagreements in marriages is financial, it’s critical to observe if the guy you think you want to marry exhibits any of these 12 warning signs:
1. You are not on the same financial page. In fact, you disagree about almost all financial goals, choices, and commitments.
2. When you quiz him about his personal budget, it’s clear that he doesn’t have one. When you suggest that budgeting is a good thing and try to show him how to prepare a financial budget, he acts disinterested or feigns interest and never goes any further with the budgeting process.
3. Rather than pay off his credit cards each month, he pays the minimum. He often pays late or doesn’t pay them at all. This is a regular occurrence because he never seems to have enough money to pay his bills.
4. He is often out of work. He blames other people, the high unemployment rate or other circumstances beyond his control for his lack of employment. He often says that it’s just a temporary situation, but even when he’s working he doesn’t seem to keep a job for very long.
5. He excessively spends his money without regard to his income. It seems that he’s living far beyond his ability to support that level of lifestyle. When he wants something, he buys it without regard to what it costs or how he will pay for it.
Read more on YourTango.com.
Unworkable love looks normal but feels exhausting. Unworkable love keeps you repeating the same problems and trying the same solutions over and over again. Every time you end it, you mean it, but you find yourself unable to stop thinking about him and then you fall for him all over again and return, despite your awareness and what you promised yourself. This pattern isn’t easily broken, even after you call it off.
It is very difficult to get out of the break up / make up cycle with destructive or toxic men. The breakups tend to be unending because resistance to the established pattern of on-again/off-again will be seen as a challenge to get you back. It’s part of his fun. When you see the on-again / off-again cycle, and feel pressure to return based on new good behavior, or because he suddenly “gets it” only after you leave, know that you have most likely been in an unworkable, potentially destructive relationship and prepare yourself for breakup drama.
To break the cycle you need extreme self awareness, self honesty in spite of your dreams and wants, and you have to put a timeframe on the back and forth, and stick to it. Once you become aware that the relationship pattern was warped, you will most likely see that the relationship has always been unworkable, and that’s rough because you’ll feel like you wasted your time.
Give yourself a break because it takes time to see that someone is unable to change or unable sustain change. You may have focused on his qualities and overlooked or excused his flaws~and that is a great relationship quality providing you are in a solid relationship with a man who can meet you half way, and seeks improvements himself. If you are not, them focusing on a man’s strengths at your own expense is nothing more than a strategy for self sabotage. It is critical to know the distinction between a workable and an unworkable relationship, or you may repeatedly find yourself in on-again/off-again relationships that absorb your time and energy.
We Do More Arguing Than Talking: How To Deal And What It Means When You And Your Man Can’t Seem To Stop Fighting
Every couple does it …and I’m not talking about sex, I’m referring to arguing, bickering, quarreling or whatever you’d like to call it. All normal couples fight–be it about jealousy, differences, anxieties, money, sex, work, forgetfulness, children or housework, everyone’s doing it.
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of disagreement. In fact, it can put things into perspective, it can reveal truth, and it can provide understanding about exactly where you and your partner stand in your relationship. However, it’s when you aren’t able to stop fighting that you should be concerned. When arguments become ongoing, trouble seems to brew just as things seem to finally settle, or light bickering becomes biting remarks, then you need to consider what’s happening beneath the surface of all that back-and-forth.
Depending solely on your situation and the level of growing animosity between the two of you, this fighting can mean a number of things –though probably not anything good. While the reasons why couples fight have already been indicated, the underlying explanation for why couples perpetually fight hasn’t been. The roots of these fights can be as basic as one person always made to feel wrong, made to feel inadequate, not feeling valued or appreciated, not properly healing from a previous relationship, the relationship not being made a priority, or issues with commitment. But because of insecurities and a shared inability to be honest, couples tend to argue about everything except the actual issue. When you and your significant other find that you’re in the same argument over and over again, there’s a strong possibility that either someone feels that they aren’t being heard or something important isn’t being said.
So, if you’re afraid that you’re in a crumbling relationship that’s ruled by anxiety and confrontation, there are a few things you can do to assess the situation, and the first thing you can do is sit down and sort out the facts. Divide fact from fiction, worries from realities, and write down the last few arguments that you’ve had, what sparked those conversations, what ended those arguments …if those arguments ended, what escalated the arguments, how disputes are usually resolved, what the patterns are, and if there is something that you want to convey to your significant other that you’re not able to say. You can easily ask your significant other to do the same, hoping that if they are as committed to the relationship as you are, they won’t take issue with putting aside time to understand the complications in your relationship. The aim is to be as honest as possible when examining the rifts in your relationship, and eventually have a candid discussion about the conclusions that you’ve come to. Remember, when you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings, try not to sound accusatory, and be sure that you’re both being heard. If you two are able to get through a frank and honest conversation, and prevail at a better place than you were before, then you should be comforted by the durability of your relationship.
Niecy Nash is giving advice. Watch out now.
The actress recently released a book for single women. Happily married to her husband, Jay Tucker, she offers some friendly dating advice for women to meet their perfect match in her new book “It’s Hard to Fight N*ked.”
In an interview with Sister 2 Sister, she talks internet dating and more.
Jamie: You internet dated?
Niecy: I sure did, girl, with my real face. Let me tell you what. I was on Match.com, Black People Meet. I was on Christian Singles and BlackWomenWithWeavesAndKids.org or something like that—
Read More at EurWeb.com
Change. Do you thrive on it or relish the status quo? Either way, change is the one constant in life and in relationships that can wreak havoc if you’re not able to collaborate and navigate through it without stress, worry and self-sabotaging talk from your Internal Chain of Command.
When one party grows at a different pace or events both unexpected and planned result in surprising consequences that we hadn’t imagined, there can be challenges and stress. Sometimes seemingly unequal situations can cause resentment and anger. Think of how professional changes, financial losses or emergency health issues can impact you and your relationship.
The relationship can still grow, but sometimes in an unanticipated direction and this can be threatening. When we learn to collaborate with our partner, we come from an open place of “What’s In It For Us?” Conflict resolutions requires that each party accepts the other for who they are and where they are in life at that moment. Regardless of the curve balls life throws our way, when we collaborate, we always have our partner’s back.
Seeing the power in accepting change as a normal process in relationships and seeing that no matter where anyone is, each person can benefit when invited to be part of a collaborative solution. It can also mean letting your partner come up with his or her own solution and letting go of your agenda. This is where compassion comes into play, too. Remember we all have a higher self if we allow ourselves to hear its voice. We already have the answers within and collaboration serves to bring them out as a team.
Check out the strategies on YourTango.com.
We all want to feel like our partners are committed to us. In fact, a recent study commissioned by Benenden Health, one-third of the study participants said that they would feel more optimistic about their relationships if their partners showed them more commitment. On top of that, most married participants were significantly happier than their single fellow participants.
So now that science has proven an obvious truth about couples in relationships, what do you do when you aren’t getting the level of commitment you want from the guy you’re dating? Here are three simple steps you can take to move towards the kind of committed relationship that you really want.
Step One: know what level of commitment you want. Like most things in life, if you’re unclear about what you really want out of a relationship then you’re going to have a tough time getting it. Life tends to deliver to us exactly what we focus on, so if you’re not focused on what you truly want, then it’s time to define for yourself exactly what commitment looks like to you. Does it mean dating exclusively? Do you want an engagementring on your finger or is a verbal profession of love good enough for you? Are you the type of person who feels that it’s not a true commitment until you drive off in the limo with the “just married” sign taped on the trunk? These are all questions that you need to answer honestly with yourself. (And to get started on your own personal journey to true love, download Jane’s complimentary guide ”Find Your True Love: 10 Simple Steps to Getting the Love You Want … and Deserve.”)
Read more at YourTango.com
From Your Tango
This simple tip may end his “texting games” forever and will get you the respect you deserve.
A reader of mine asked:
I recently met this guy and everything seemed to be going ok until he started taking over 3 hours to reply to my text messages. I thought guys were into texting but apparently not this guy. Why is it taking him so long to answer my messages? We can be texting back an forth for a while then suddenly NOTHING for hours. I told him this bothers me but he keeps doing it!
What’s the problem? I’m really frustrated especially because we don’t talk on the phone or on the internet…just texting.
Read what Alex had to say at YourTango.com.
According to IndianExpress, a new study claims that women immerse themselves in their romantic relationships, while men place their romantic partners on an equal but distant footing. This study shows that generally, women appear to be more invested in their relationships than men and that their happiness and well-being is more dependent upon how things are going in their intimate relationships. Is this a surprise to you? It’s not a surprise to me.
After all, who is usually the one who recognizes when things in the relationship aren’t working too well? The woman. Who is it that typically seeks professional help with the relationship? The woman. Who is it that mostly spends time on YourTango, reading self-help books and going to seminars about relationships? Women. Why is it this way? (For more information, check out Secrets of Happy Couples.)
Women are biologically wired to be the nurturers. They are the ones with the skills to anticipate the needs of their partners, take care of nurturing the relationship and do the problem solving when things have gone awry.
Read more at YourTango
Even the hottest of romances hit a few bumps in the road. Whether it’s forgetting the anniversary of your first date or trying to get out of walking the dog, there’s plenty to fight about when you’re in love. So why should finances pile unnecessary stress on to your relationship?
Here’s a look at three financial feuds you just don’t need to have.
1. The scenario: Lying about money.
Fibbing to your sweetie about how much you spent (or charged on the credit card), that you forgot to balance the checkbook or pay a bill on time can lead to feelings of betrayal. And cause a chasm to grow in between the two of you.
Read more at YourTango.com.