All Articles Tagged "couples therapy"
During my undergraduate tenure at Florida State, I had the fortune of being taught by one of the most important black psychologists in the country, Dr. Naim Akbar. Dr. Akbar, while discussing the psychological state of black people in America, said “every negro living in America needs some form of therapy. When you think about what’s been done to us and our history in this country, America is lucky that it isn’t overrun with a bunch of crazy n*****.”
When asked what it would take to get men, specifically black men, to attend a therapy session, I thought of 1,000 different reasons it wouldn’t happen. When I say “therapy,” I’m making specific reference to sessions which include couches, a licensed psychologist discussing a patient’s feelings, and daily/weekly visits. Discussing black men’s aversion to therapy without talking about the barriers would be pointless, so I’ll start there. Afterward, I’ll discuss how those barriers can be broken.
Men “being men” isn’t the answer
Firstly, we need to understand how the stereotype of men’s emotional disposition can prevent them from seeking therapy. Society says men are supposed to be strong, unemotional, and silent. If a woman needs help, she has an almost endless amount of resources to choose from. The stereotype of the man being strong and silent works against men, especially black men, because we aren’t allowed to verbalize what is wrong with us without being seen as weak. This is particularly destructive for black men because carrying the burden of being one of the most oppressed groups in the United States has been a direct cause of so many young black men ending up in the prison system. The rules need to be rewritten to show black men that talking about problems and dealing with them head on in a safe environment is an example of strength, too.
It starts with the parents
A discussion of how the stigma of mental health and how it’s viewed in the black community needs to be addressed. What I’ve found in my previous experience as a mental health counselor for “at risk” youth is that parents have a hard time understanding the problems at hand so they’re either perplexed on what to do or believe the problem to be temporary. Instead of parents admitting there might be something wrong, parents simply say “there’s nothing wrong” or the kids are “just acting up.” That attitude is carried for those same children when they turn into adults. Rather than concede there is an issue, black boys grow up to be black men who think “there’s nothing wrong” or that whatever is bothering them will simply go away. A refusal of their parents to acknowledge a little black boy’s actions not being “normal,” turns into black men who can’t own up to the notion of something not being quite right with them and to then seek help.
Therapy ain’t cheap, or just for white people
The last barrier I wanted to touch on are the costs associated with seeking treatment. A cursory glance on your favorite search engine will give you a wide array of prices on therapeutic services. The price can range from $60 an hour all the way up to $250+ an hour. Certainly nothing to sneeze at. Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that a large portion of the black community believes therapy, on the whole, is “for white or crazy people.” Ignorant? Absolutely, but I’ve seen it and heard it a hundred times over so I know this line of thought exists.
We know the problems, what are some solutions?
So how do we combat all of this? These solutions are available, but I’ll admit they’re not as easy to do as they are to write about. For starters, there would need to be a paradigm shift in the way men are treated in society. We need black men to realize that seeking help to deal with certain issues is perfectly acceptable. Being able to ask for help, instead of carrying the entire world on their shoulders, needs to be seen as a sign of strength. Not the other way around.
Secondly, the stigma of seeing a therapist needs to be reduced. Building up more support in the black community about the benefits of attending therapy sessions, black parents being able to admit they may need some outside assistance in finding out what’s wrong with their child, and newfound respect for the work mental health professionals can help tremendously.
Finally, though therapy costs can be costly, I’ve noticed that there are insurance policies available that can cut the costs down. If that’s not an option, black men can look for other resources that provide an open and safe place for them to share their burdens. Whether it’s group therapy, counseling sessions at whichever college they attend, or simply talking to someone else about what’s going on, there are alternatives to traditional forms of counseling and resources for those who can’t afford to pay the full cost. One just has to look for them.
Getting men to go to therapy, no matter the race, is a tall order. As a black man, I can attest that gender stereotypes, how mental health is viewed, and the costs associated with therapy are definite barriers to seeking help in this manner. Though I talked about some other solutions, I also want to take the time to say that black women can definitely play an integral part in pushing men to seek help as well. Author Charles W. Chestnutt once said “when it is said that it was done to please a woman, there ought to be enough said to explain anything; for what a man will not do to please a woman is yet to be discovered.” In other words, plenty of men out there will do anything to please their woman and if going to therapy is what would make her happy, he’d damn sure at least consider it.
We know you’re stuck on the mohawk right now, but try to move past it if you can.
VH1 just dropped a major sneak peek with the Couple’s Therapy Season 4 supertrailer and from what we see in this 4-minute video, it’s going to be a doozie.
You’re likely familiar with all the characters that will be featured on this round of the relationship therapy show. You have 43-year-old Wu Tang rapper Ghostface Killah and his 20-something girlfriend, Kelsey Nykole; Real Housewives of Beverly Hills‘ Taylor Armstrong and her new man ohn Bluher; Teen Mom Farrah Abraham; Whitney Mixter and Sada Bettencourt from The Real L Word; and Jon Gosselin minus Kate, plus his new lady Liz Janetta. If you’re confused why Farrah Abraham is on the show solo, you’re not alone. As we see in the trailer, she has no clue where her boyfriend is or why he didn’t show up for the show they agreed to participate in, which gives us just a glimpse of the relationship issues plaguing them.
From trust issues, to ex drama, to infidelity, this group of couples has some of everything going on and, bad as it may be to say, we can’t wait to watch these celebs work through all of their problems on the next season of Couple’s Therapy, which airs January 2 at 9pm on VH1.
Check out the trailer for the show in the video below. Will you watch?
Last month we told you that Wu-Tang Clan rapper Ghostface Killah would be joining the cast of VH1′s Couples Therapy along with his girlfriend, Kelsey Nykole. We weren’t really sure what to expect from Ghost and Kelsey, but this season’s newly released trailer definitely offers a tiny sample of what we’re in for. And let’s just say, things are going to get pretty real this season.
It’s a little difficult to tell exactly what Ghost and Kelsey are arguing about in the trailer, but the discussion gets fairly heated and Ghost proceeds to go off.
“You not the only chick I do that with!” Ghost yells in the 30-second clip.
Kelsey eventually decides she’s over the conversation, yells, “F**k this,” and storms out of the session. Only God knows what they’re fighting about, but we’ll be able to find out January 2nd when the new season premieres. Hopefully they’re able to survive the reality TV curse and use the show as an opportunity to work on their relationship.
Check out the trailer below.
Wu-Tang Clan rapper Ghostface Killah will be the next hip hop artist that we get to witness work through his tumultuous relationship on national television. It has just been announced by VH1 that the Staten Island native will be appearing on season four of Couples Therapy along with his significant other, Kelsey Nykole.
There isn’t much currently being said about Ghostface’s relationship with Kelsey as of yet, but we’re sure that we will be well educated on their issues once the show airs in January. In case you’re unfamiliar with VH1 Couples Therapy, its a show that is moderated by Dr. Jenn Berman, where celebrity couples seek to resolve their extreme relationship issues. A brief excerpt from the season four press release reads:
“These four-and-a-half couples, at a crossroads in their relationships, will join together for over 2 weeks as they undergo intensive relationship therapy. Under the guidance of Dr. Jenn Berman, a nationally renowned relationship therapist, the couples will participate in group and individual therapy along with relationship exercises out in the ‘real world’ to see if they can rekindle the love they used to have for one another — or if it’s simply time for them to move on.”
Joining Ghostface and Kelsey will be Taylor Armstrong & John Bluher, Teen Mom‘s Farrah Abraham, The Real L Word‘s Whitney Mixter & Sada Bettencourt and Jon & Kate‘s Jon Gosselin & Liz Janetta.
Are you a Couples Therapy fan? Do you think you’ll tune in to see Ghostface?
Rarely will you find that a relationship or a marriage is able to tread a smooth and stable road. Instead, most relationships and marriages come with plenty of road bumps and even a few road stops. When a couple can’t come to an agreement on a certain problem, sometimes couples therapy is the only thing that can help them move past it. Here are 7 signs you need couples therapy and 7 ways this type of therapy will really help.
It has been a minute since I’ve jammed to a K-Ci & JoJo track, and that has to do with the men taking a break from music, but mostly it has a lot to do with the alcoholism issues both men have battled with over the past few years (and JoJo’s decision to be on Couples Therapy). This issue was highlighted in their past TV One reality show, K-Ci & JoJo Come Clean.
But it seems that things are on the up and up for the brothers as they are getting it together and have released a new single called “Knock It Off” for their very patient fans. The single is from their upcoming album, which has not been named yet, but is due out in the fall.
When I first realized that it was about “laying” a woman down I initially shuddered at the thought of them coming back with something so sexual, but all in all, after listening to the track a few times, I came to the conclusion that it’s not all THAT bad. “Knock It Off” has a good beat and a catchy chorus. However, I will say that K-Ci’s voice does sound a whole lot different than it used to. A little tired and raspy compared to the duo’s time serenading us with “All My Life.” Clearly time (and some drugs) have had done a doozy on their vocals. But nonetheless, I can hear this song being played out on old-school and R&B radio stations around the country soon enough. Check out the track for yourself below and let us know what you think!
So, pass or play?
First Look: Flavor Flav Sheds Tears And Chingy Talks Impregnating Another Woman On VH1′s Couple’s Therapy
On Wednesday night, the third season of “Couple’s Therapy” will debut on VH1, and according to resident therapist Dr. Jenn Berman this will be the most difficult group of estranged lovers to appear on the show yet. Looking at the cast lineup it’s not hard to see why. This go ’round Dr. Berman will be helping “Teen Mom” couple Caitlin Lowell and Tyler Baltierra, “Girls Gone Wild” creator Joe Francis and Abby Wilson, Flavor Flav and his lady Elizabeth Trujillo, Chingy and his actress girlfriend Temple Poteat, and “The Real World: Las Vegas” alums Dustin Zito & Heather Marter.
From the five minute super trailer, it doesn’t take long to see Flavor Flav is the most unstable creature on this season of “Couple’s Therapy,” and similarly to Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden’s appearance on season 2 of the show, the other cast members are questioning whether he should be there or not, calling his behavior disruptive to the overall purpose of them being there. But tears don’t lie, and from the emotional outpourings he and Elizabeth had, it’s clear to see they need some form of help that Dr. Berman can hopefully provide.
We also learn a little more about what Chingy’s been up to over the past few years — particularly impregnating a random woman while he and his girlfriend were on a break (in his mind) — and why five years in, Temple is demanding to know where their relationship is going. “Teen Mom” duo Caitlin and Tyler also shed more than a few tears trying to figure out if marriage is really in the future for the very young couple.
Check out the supertrailer for the new season in the video above. The show premieres Wednesday, June 12 at 10pm on VH1. Will you watch?
Where’d They Find Him? Chingy And Actress Girlfriend To Appear On Next Season Of VH1′s ‘Couples Therapy’
Talk about resurrecting somebody from the dead. I feel like that should be the slogan of reality TV because every single one of these shows is good for putting a D-list celebrity we haven’t thought about in ages on a national television show and making us somehow care about them again. Judging from the lineup of season 3 of VH1′s “Couples Therapy,” this show is no different.
The network behind all things ratchet just issued a press release detailing the pairs who will be put through the ringer by licensed psychotherapist Dr. Jenn Berman and there are some extremely interesting characters this time around:
“Girls Gone Wild” creator Joe Francis and Abby Wilson
Rapper and TV personality Flavor Flav and Elizabeth Trujillo
Rapper Chingy and actress Temple Poteat
“The Real World: Las Vegas” alums Dustin Zito & Heather Marter
“Teen Mom” couple Caitlin Lowell Tyler Baltierra
We would be surprised by Flava Flav if, one, he hadn’t been on at least three other VH1 reality shows, and two, that news didn’t leak a little while ago — oh and we didn’t know of the domestic disputes he and his lady have been going through lately. So that makes Chingy the surprise oddball in this group since we haven’t heard from the man since he was chilling at the “Holidae In” in 2003. Sorry, I lied, he is the spokesperson for Shpilka Vodka, as evidenced by this bootleg commercial on YouTube, but you know what I mean.
Because he’s been out of the limelight for so long, it’s hard to speculate what his issues with Temple might be, but I’m thinking maybe there’s a difference in maturity level. Temple, who’s had small parts in soap operas “Young and the Restless” and “Passions” is turning the big 4-0 this fall, while Chingy just turned 33 in March. I wouldn’t be surprised if much of their struggle has to do with a ticking biological clock and a rush to get down the aisle– but that’s just a wild guess.
It won’t be long before we get a definitive answer, season 3 of “Couple’s Therapy” returns Wednesday, June 12 at 10pm on VH1. Will you watch?
I’m still trying to take in the fact that Flava Flav still pulls women — multiple, ethnically diverse, somewhat youthful women — so news that the Public Enemy rapper is going to star on the next season of “Couple’s Therapy” is somewhat secondary to that first surprising point. But nvertheless, the 54-year-old and his fiancee Liz Trujillo are slated to appear on the next season of the VH1 relationship counseling show and according to reports from TMZ, they got on this show not a moment too soon.
Yesterday evening, the gossip site known for breaking news first, reported that Liz was rushed to the hospital after overdosing on pain killers. According to one of their sources:
“The OD was accidental and not a suicide attempt. We’re told she was ‘acting strange’ and it became apparent ‘she took too many pills.’
“The 39-year-old woman was taken by ambulance to the hospital, where she remains although we’re told she’ll be released soon.”
Now we’re not saying TMZ is losing their spark, but after making this report, the site came back with an update, saying:
“A rep for Flavor tells TMZ, Liz was NOT treated for an OD. The rep says Liz was briefly treated for exhaustion at the hospital after being kept awake all night doing “Couples Therapy” stuff … and producers are hyping it up for ratings.
“The rep adds, “The claim of an overdose, or any involvement of drugs, could not be further from the truth.”
Though it is possible TMZ rushed the gun, far too many celebs have used that “exhaustion” excuse when everyone knew good and well they were checking into something like a Betty Ford clinic. Unfortunately, So Hip-Hop had more disturbing news, recounting a violent situation that occurred between Flav, his alleged mistress, and Liz in October:
Flavor Flav’s fiance, Elizabeth Trujillo, tells RumorFix exclusively that the brutal attack she endured on October 17 stemmed from a fight over her fiancé cheating on her with another woman…
“Trujillo, who lives with the entertainer at his home in Las Vegas with their son Karma and her son Gibran, tells RumorFix exclusively that Flav beat her up so badly she can’t walk. She also alleges that the rapper tried to kill her 16-year-old son with a 20 inch butcher knife after Liz accused her fiancé of cheating. ‘He’s been cheating on me for months. I saw a text on his phone from a woman saying she ‘had a great time’ with him, and he was going to meet her in Vegas. [When I saw the text] I threw his phone and the screen cracked.’”
Flav was arrested and booked on two charges — felony assault with a deadly weapon and misdemeanor domestic violence — but as you can see the two apparently decided to “work things out.” Let’s just hope whatever the situation, “Couple’s Therapy” is doing more good than harm for Flavor Flav and his lady.