There is only one difference between the crazy girlfriend and the cool girlfriend: the crazy one says what’s on her mind all the time. But be real: we all have mean, rude, selfish, paranoid and even insane thoughts occasionally. The trick to a successful relationship is gaining control over those thoughts, and learning when to speak up and when to bite your tongue, count to ten, and let it pass.

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Let’s face it, when a woman stands up for herself and won’t take no shorts, she’s usually – and unfairly – labeled a bi–ch. While our male counterparts don’t get branded the same way, women have to learn to navigate the murky waters of having dignity without being too demanding, competent without being overly competitive and feminine without being too forceful. It’s a tightrope act that gets slippery, especially when trying to get what you deserve from men and your relationships. No man wants to be with a bi–h in the sense that it means being with a woman who is always up in his face popping off. But most real men respect a woman who knows her value and isn’t afraid to ask for what she deserves. So if you’re unsure how to demand what you want in your relationship without being considered a “b–ch,” explore the following guidelines that may help you get the respect you deserve and keep you from being a doormat.

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Every woman gets a little emotional sometimes. We all do things we’re not proud of as a girlfriend sometimes, so don’t worry that you’re one of the crazy ones if you cry over nothing occasionally, get a little jealous or a little needy. That’s normal. What’s not normal is trying to manipulate, control or dominate your boyfriend. You should always fight for what you deserve, but not for more than that. Which is what you’re doing, if you do the following:

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Intentionally making him jealous

If you want more attention from your man then you should either tell him he needs to step it up or you might need to have a talk with yourself. You could be ignoring the fact that you just might be insecure and so you unfairly make others fill your void of confidence by getting attention from other men. But someone else shouldn’t have to hurt because you’re hurting. Your man shouldn’t have to feel jealous because you feel insecure. If you need to work on your self-confidence, you need to do that work. You can’t make someone else feel like it is their fault because until you deal with said insecurity, he will never be able to provide you with all the attention you want.