All Articles Tagged "controlling boyfriend"
Before you find “the one,” you’ll date a bunch of other ones. Only the truly lucky find a great relationship—built on compatibility, mutual respect, and sexual attraction—early on. Most of us have to have all the other types of relationships, to understand what a functional relationship should look like. Here are 14 types of relationships you will almost certainly have before you find long-term happiness.
Most men and women long to have partners who love and care for them, help them out from time to time and inspire them to be better people. But sometimes, gently nudging your significant other out of love in an attempt to “help” can suddenly turn into something else. One minute you think you have a loving boyfriend, the next minute he’s trying to control your every move. I’m not talking about violent or abusive men who use force to try to dominate you. I’m talking about emotionally or mentally manipulative men who try to convince you that he’s only looking out for your best interest and who are simply overly protective of you. If you’re not paying attention, you may miss his subtle attempts to try to control you. If you can’t tell the difference between a truly genuine person who only wants the best for you and the relationship and someone who is deceptively trying to control you, look out for these warning signs.
Being in love should transform you. It should make you want to be a better person. It should give you new, broader ways of looking at things. It should make you more comfortable in your own skin. But, do you notice that last point? While being unwilling to change at all makes you—honestly—a miserable partner, the changes you make for your partner should never make you feel restricted, like you have to look over your shoulder constantly, or feel less comfortable in your own skin. Don’t ever let a man think he’s “improving” you by making you give up the following things.
Talking to your friends about your relationship
If your man asks you not to discuss your relationship with your girlfriends, there are two issues here: 1) Women bond over discussing their relationships! He’s keeping you from one of the most fun parts of hanging with girlfriends, and 2) WHY is he so worried about your friends hearing about the details of your relationship? The only reason he should care is if he thinks those details will make your girlfriends stop and say, “Hold on. You need to end this relationship! It’s not healthy!” But, if that’s the case, it is so whether your friends point it out or not, and even he knows it.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” This is someone we wonder when a man reveals his little hidden secrets—which happen to be his big flaws—once we’re already in love with him. This is often the case with jealous men. They keep their jealousy under wraps until they know you’re too attached to them to leave them so easily. So, better to learn to recognize the jealous types before you’re attached and can’t run away fast enough from the crazy.
Here’s the thing about controlling men: they unfortunately have some nice qualities too, and those are the qualities you are going to fall for. They are probably the ones that the man will bring out the most while he is still trying to trap you into his…um…I mean, impress you.
By that time, you’re already attached to him. So when he begins telling you that you need to tell all your male friends that you can’t seem them anymore, or that he will suspect you’re cheating unless you give him the password to your email and phone, it’s too hard to walk away. You probably even tell yourself it’s because he cares about me SO much. Reality check: it’s because he is majorly insecure and rather than facing that fact, he turns his insecurities outwards onto you.
He’s not paranoid; you led him to feel like you were cheating, right? And, he isn’t the jealous type; all of your male friends are actually trying to sleep with you and break up your relationship, right? WRONG…
There are a few subtle signs to look out for on the first date that are pretty accurate indicators of whether or not a man will be controlling. If you see them, run.
“Why do I attract the crazy ones?!?” Ever heard a friend say that? Ever been the one saying that? If so, then you probably regularly have one or a few men texting you who you are delicately trying to give the hint to…go the hell away. Or you have embarrassing displays of gifts arriving at your home or office. Or you’ve had to even block a few phone numbers and email addresses in your day. It can become a nuisance. Here’s why it happens.