All Articles Tagged "control freak"
Most men and women long to have partners who love and care for them, help them out from time to time and inspire them to be better people. But sometimes, gently nudging your significant other out of love in an attempt to “help” can suddenly turn into something else. One minute you think you have a loving boyfriend, the next minute he’s trying to control your every move. I’m not talking about violent or abusive men who use force to try to dominate you. I’m talking about emotionally or mentally manipulative men who try to convince you that he’s only looking out for your best interest and who are simply overly protective of you. If you’re not paying attention, you may miss his subtle attempts to try to control you. If you can’t tell the difference between a truly genuine person who only wants the best for you and the relationship and someone who is deceptively trying to control you, look out for these warning signs.
By DaMonica Boone
We all have our moments where we find ourselves yelling at the top of our lungs to an adult as if they were our child, or becoming easily angered when something doesn’t go the way we planned. When you find yourself speaking to your friend or significant other in the tone your mother used to speak to you in, you might have to step back into your body and get yourself together. In fact, you might need to sit back and ask yourself if you are a control freak. Here are a few signs that might make you the modern day Cruella de Ville.
1. Planning everyone else’s life
If you find yourself making plans for someone else before he or she has the opportunity to opt out (this could include your partner), you’re probably a big fan of having things go the way you want them too often. For instance, you shouldn’t plan things for your friend or boo before you run it by them first. Now, they’re stuck feeling bad and are forced to attend because you’ve paid for something for the two of you or because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. Or worse, they don’t want to feel your wrath…
2. Monitoring someone’s moves
It’s okay to keep tabs on a friend if, you know, he or she is bad at managing time and you have plans together. If you two have something scheduled that you don’t want to miss, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you were on their toes to make sure things go as planned. But if you are monitoring a friend’s actions for the sake of yourself and to have something to tell them they should change, you might be a bit too controlling. You can’t make sure she’s ready by noon just because you want to be at the mall by 1 p.m. Things happen, and people aren’t always going to be ready at the drop of a hat. If you can’t handle a friend being a little late for things, you might want to go alone.
3. Speaking to people in the wrong tone
It’s normal to speak to others like you’re crazy when you’re upset by their actions, though I wouldn’t recommend doing it often… However, there are a few things that are never appropriate to say unless you are saying them to your children. Phrases such as “What did I just say???” and “You’re going to make me hurt you” are words that can get you in trouble if they are said to the wrong person, or any grown person for that matter. Calm down and speak to others like you would like to be spoken to.
4. The need to be in control
Everything can’t always go the way you want it to go, get done when you want it done, or be done how you want it to be done. Being in control is something everyone wants. No one likes the feeling of inferiority or not being in control of their situations. When the slightest thought of someone else being in control makes you feel as if your head is going to explode and you slowly start being overbearing, you might be suffering from not only insecurity issues, but a large dose of control freak syndrome as well.
5. Your behavior affects your relationships
Being in control and always wanting to have things in order is a trait some people you know might respect, while others might loathe it. Your friends and family might love that part of you, but even cows get tired of milk. You’re a control freak when your need to be in control is affecting those around you. If your mother is worried about you, you should be too. If you’re starting to annoy your best friend, maybe you should consider calming down. And if your attitude is affecting your significant other, you should try to be open to giving someone else a chance to be the one behind the wheel if you know what I mean. No one likes a control freak, and you can’t be in control all the time and butt heads with people all the time to have get it. Everyone needs someone else to get them together every now and then.
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Even the most independent and assertive woman occasionally wants to play the damsel in distress to a strong man who wants to sweep her off of her feet and save her day. Nonetheless, there are times when that protection can turn perilous if you’re dating a man who looks at you less as his partner and more as his property.
The following red flags could mean your man is playing a game of puppet master: