All Articles Tagged "conflict resolution"
No More Beef: How To Settle Conflicts in the Workplace
Thinkstock
There are various reasons for conflict, says the article, including: differing values, opposing interests, personality clashes, poor communication and personal problems.
1) Think Positive: “First assume positive intent on the part of your co-worker. Seek to understand their perspective,” advises Mary-Frances Winters, president and founder of The Winters Group, an organization development and diversity-consulting firm.
2) Listen, Then Speak Out: “Believe it or not, just listening to an employee’s issue is the first and most important step in resolving conflict. You should simply listen to all parties involved to completely understand the nature of conflict, and then start troubleshooting solutions,” notes Notre Dame.
3) Me, Me, Me: “Use “I” language instead of ‘you’ language. Tell the other person how you feel…When you use you language you put the other person on the defensive,” Winters tells us via chat.
4) Don’t Delay: “Address the conflict immediately. Otherwise, the situation could escalate and could affect employee performance. Just make sure not to address the situation too quickly or without careful consideration,” adds the Notre Dame blog.
5) Take A Deep Breathe: “Do not try to solve a conflict when you are emotionally upset. Wait until you have calmed down to have the discussion. Take a deep breath, go someplace else and collect your thoughts,” offers Winters.
How To Tackle Office Enemies
thyblackman.com
When you find yourself in a constant argument with the person in the next cubicle, it’s time to start making some changes. Having an office enemy can wreak havoc on your work productivity and the relationships you build with others in the office, which can in turn affect your career growth and your paycheck. No one should ever be so important that they mess with your income. If you feel like an office rivalry has gone too far, take a look at these tips from CNNMoney.com.
First things first: you’ve got to know what type of office enemy you’re dealing with. Depending on their problem with you, trying to establish peace may be futile. According to Marie G. McIntyre, the author of “Secrets to Winning at Office Politics: How to Achieve Your Goals and Increase Your Influence at Work,” there are three types of office enemies: focused, emotional and vengeful.
Focused enemies are simply hoping to accomplish some professional goal and believe that you are in the way. If you want to establish peace, you’ve got to convince them that you are not the source of their professional roadblock and they have a greater chance of succeeding by working with you rather than against.
Emotional enemies are people that only care about their own emotional needs. These people cause a general problem in the office, not just with you. The trick is to make sure you don’t allow this person to push your buttons.
Vengeful enemies have something against you personally. You can only begin to settle the disagreement when you know what they’re upset about and try to make steps to fix it.
Once you’ve identified who you’re dealing with, watch what you say around them. Choose what you say carefully and make sure your words can’t be used against you. When you have a complaint, objectively state the facts of the situation rather than making judgments on a person’s character and work habits.
Try to find a common ground. Finding something that you can agree on diminishes the problems and keeps the office environment together for the sake of everyone.
For those of you who don’t believe a resolution can ever be found, you may need to simply embrace the conflict. Conflict inevitably shows up in life and at some point or another, you’ll have to deal with it.
Girl, I’m Tired: Why You Can’t Let Your Friend’s Problems Become Your Own
MadameNoire.com
I’m tired. No. I’m exhausted, really. Between the tears and late night phone calls, I have somehow absorbed my friend’s issue as my own and it’s now taking a toll on me. I feel her anxiety as if it were mine; the uncertainty of what’s to come; and the overbearing sensation that this dark period will never be over. I dread when the phone rings and I realize it’s her. I choose not to pick it up just so I won’t have to delve back into that abyss with her. And yet, I also want to pick up the phone and just say straightforwardly, “Girl, listen, I’m tired!”
I think at some point in our lives, we have all experienced this issue with our close girlfriends. We try hard to live by that code of sisterhood: honesty, loyalty, and unwavering support. But in that unwavering support, we can take on too much and find ourselves overwhelmed and burdened with our friends’ issues. How do we maintain that fine balance? How do we construct boundaries that allow us to maintain healthy relationships with our girlfriends as we maintain ones with ourselves? I believe that there are three major steps that a good girlfriend must take and maintain to achieve these goals.
The first thing you should always keep in mind is that, your friend’s issue is not your issue. I know, I know. You’ve been besties since kindergarten. In the third grade, you guys became blood sisters. She was your roommate in college for all four years. I understand how our ties can make us feel more bonded and permanently entwined to one another, but at the end of the day she is still her own individual person. Know that there is only so much you can do to help her out when life comes calling with those painful knocks. You can be her shoulder to cry on, be her rock to lean on (for a while), but at the end of the day, this is her experience and her lesson that she needs to learn – not yours.
You should also remember that sometimes it’s best to not offer advice and just listen, while other times it’s very necessary (even if you’re pretending). One of the first things we do when a friend is in crisis is offer advice – whether they have asked for it or not. And there is nothing wrong with offering advice, but it can lead you down a slippery slope. Before you suggest ideas to your friend, listen to her account completely. Don’t cut off or dismiss her story. Not getting the full dish of what is going on can lead you to offer solutions that she may have tried before or might find insensitive, unrealistic, or feel that the suggestions don’t pertain to the obstacles at hand. Also, you have to be prepared for the case in which your friend does not consider your advice at all. People tend to learn from their own trials and errors, therefore your words of wisdom may go through one ear and come out the other. I’ve learned that it is best to cease with the well-meaning counsel if it has been offered more than once and been ignored. Remember, your girlfriend doesn’t have to take your advice and you definitely are not required to provide it.
Lastly, you need to be aware of how much you can take and communicate that to your friend. Let her know that every time you talk to her you don’t want to hear a story that starts with, “GIRL, let me tell you what happened!” If you find that her 3 a.m. phone calls filled with panic are wearing you down, let her know. There is a fine line in being a rock of support in times of need and being a spine. It is your job to be there to comfort, not to hold her up completely. At the end of the day, you can’t be a good friend to anyone if you are not a good friend to yourself. Remember to not over-extend yourself to her to the point where you are experiencing the same symptoms she is or find yourself face to face with her drama. If you find yourself balancing off the tip of a cliff with her, it is definitely okay to let her know the following: “Hey, I can’t do this with you. I’ve come too far. I love you, but this is not my fight. I can support you when you need it, but I can’t sacrifice my wellness to do so.” Of course, these words will most likely not be the words your friend wants to hear, but at the end of the day honesty is one of the principles that keeps sisterhood afloat.
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Back Up Off of Me: 6 Times You Should Take Time Apart
madamenoire.com
I’m not talking about a multi-month break, (that usually is indicative of seriously deep issues) but sometimes a few days of no contact, and minimal communication is just the remedy you and your partner need to feel in sync again. Unfortunately, we often fear that needing a few days apart is a sign of trouble, so we don’t take that time apart. And then fights escalate, or tensions grow to a place where you’re wondering, “How did we get here?” Don’t be stubborn. Walk away for a few days when these things are happening…
It’s So Hard to Say…I’m Sorry
RaisingHomemakers.com
I hate when I have a taste for something, only to discover that someone else had the same idea and left none to spare. This particular Saturday it was a box of Frosted Mini Wheats that my boyfriend decided would make great dinner all week long. My teased tongue was soon lashing all kinds of insults, many which had nothing to do with breakfast cereal and soon he was digging up every flaw he could find about me to throw in his defense. I lie to you not; we were cursing each other out over cereal. It may start with a slick comment, sharp sarcasm or blatant disrespect and before you know it you’re in the midst of a knockdown drag out verbal beat down that leaves both you and your partner furious and full of pride and in opposite corners of the ring licking your wounds and coddling your bruised egos. Sooner or later that pride can make your relationship feel like a prison while you both play the waiting game to see who will make amends first, because of course that means that person was wrong, the one who is weaker or both.
Sorry isn’t for “suckas” and of course an apology doesn’t make you a loser in the game of love, nor does it mean you are entirely at fault, but it is a first step towards making things right. In fact, I’m willing to bet that the best relationships involve a whole lot of practice apologizing. Unfortunately when the art of apology is abused, it can become like band-aid on a broken bone: a mockery of a huge problem. The following tips may make that pride a little sweeter to swallow and help you rectify the situation the right way:
Getting Back To Happy: How To Recover From A Huge Argument
madamenoire.com
Almost every couple argues, especially if you’ve been in a long-term relationship. And while a tiff here and there is normal, what happens after you’ve had a huge blow up – the first (or the 50th) biggest argument of your relationship? While feelings of hurt, anger, resentment and anxiety are to be expected, how do you move past it to a point where you’re no longer nursing the upset that follows? If you want to make things right and move past the pain, try these things to bring your relationship back to happy.
Resolving Beef With a Business Partner
(Businessweek) — We all know that divorce is typically an expensive and stressful process. However, what most people don’t realize is that the same financial and emotional pains are felt when business owners are in a dispute. When differences seemingly can’t be resolved, business owners need not always hire lawyers to litigate. Business owners should be wary of litigation, as there may be such immediate consequences as:
1. Ceding control of the business. The business is placed in the hands of lawyers and judges who likely have limited knowledge of the business and how it should be run.
