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If you were to survey ten people on their feelings about condoms, you’d get all types of responses. Some use them because of their  proven effectivity in the assistance of preventing unwanted pregnancies and the transmission of STIs and STDs. Others express that they simply can’t be bothered with them. Whichever end of the spectrum you fall on, I think it’s safe to assume that the common consensus is that condoms make sex less enjoyable. Bill Gates, however, is seeking to change that. The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is on the lookout for the ‘Next Generation of Condom’ and are willing to shell out an initial grant of $100,000 to the person or persons with the best proposals, says a press release issued by the organization earlier this month. In addition to the initial grant,  the foundation is offering up to $1million in funding. Students, scientists and entrepreneurs alike are welcome to submit their ideas via an online, two-page application.

“To overcome persistent health and development problems, we need new, game-changing ideas. Inspiration can come from anywhere and we are hopeful that this new round of Grand Challenges Explorations will uncover innovative approaches to improve lives around the world,” expressed the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation’s Director of Global Health Discovery & Translational Science, Chis Wilson.

Proposals will be accepted until May 7, 2013 and can be submitted at www.grandchallenges.org. According to the release, after the close date, the foundation and an independent team of reviewers will select the most innovative proposals and grants will be awarded. As previously stated, each proposal selected will receive a $100,000 grant and the opportunity to received up to $1million in additional funding.

Sounds like a great idea with an admirable cause!

Seriously though? Are people just having sex wherever they can nowadays? Because there’s no reason a used condom should be in the play area at a McDonald’s, let alone in the restaurant at all. But it was in early February, when Anishi Spencer took her sons, three-year-old Jonathan and two-year-old Jacquel Hines, to the fast food chain in the Gage Park neighborhood and found the dirty “barrier device” on the ground near the play area, according to the Chicago Sun-Times.

The youngest child, Jacquel, later came to his mother, coughing up a piece of the condom that he had tried to eat, and fearing what else he might have taken in his system, Spencer took her sons to the hospital for treatment. Though the children didn’t end up sick or have any serious side effects from messing with the condom, Spencer was beyond disgusted and was irate with the neighborhood McDonald’s for allegedly even having a condom in their restaurant. Therefore, she has filed a lawsuit against McDonald’s Corp. and McDonald’s of Illinois, accusing them of not doing a good job of cleaning up “hazardous debris from an area used by children.” She also says they should have done a better job surveillance-wise to make sure sexual activity wasn’t taking place in or around the establishment…seeing as it’s an eatery and not a brothel. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, the lawsuit is claiming negligence on the part of the restaurant chain and Spencer wants $50,000 to help pay for the children’s medical treatment and clearly for some other stuff…

All in all, if the story is true, that’s the one of the most disgusting things I think I’ve ever heard. But I can believe that a condom could pop up somewhere in an establishment like McDonald’s. Just walking to the train in NYC every day they’re damn near everywhere if you go down the wrong street. However, I also wonder why she wouldn’t be watching this whole, child finds condom on floor, child picks up condom on floor, child puts condom in mouth scenario? I know parents can’t see and do everything all the time, but still, those are some very young kids so eyes need to be on them as much as possible, and if they were, maybe something as gross as this wouldn’t have happened. But once again, condom and McDonald’s shouldn’t even be in the same sentence…Whatever happened, I think we can agree that this story’s gross level is on a maximum high.

Do you think Ms. Spencer will actually win?

therusspassmorningshow.com

Looking to charge up your sex life? You might want to visit New York, Miami or Atlanta.

So here’s the thing: condom brand Trojan surveyed 2,000 U.S. adults about their sexual habits and these cities topped the list in quite a few of the categories. The survey shows that Miami is at the top of the leaderboard with the average number times sex is had per year at 177 while the rest of the country “only” averages out at 151 times per year (New York is second at 156 times per year). I guess more than just the temperature makes it “muy caliente” down there.

Not to be outdone, New Yorkers seem to be more vocal about their sexual desires. At 27 percent, New Yorkers are at the top when it comes to expressing their fantasies to their lovers and 78 percent are open to trying a vibrator with a partner during sex.  If you’ve ever walked through the West Village and took stock of all the “toy stores” that are there, this won’t surprise you that much.

Oh but I didn’t forget you, Atlanta.  The survey says that at 72 percent, Atlanta is the most sexually adventurous city and they also have the highest sex drive (7.2 out of 10). It’s no wonder the residents confessed to having an average of 25 sexual partners in their lifetime (Atlanta is at the top of that leaderboard too). Yes, you all are keeping it “hot” indeed.

The survey doesn’t mention sexual orientation of those surveyed but it’s funny that these cities topped the list in most categories (the survey was done in a total of 10 major cities) because women claim in all these cities that they’re not really getting any because there’s a shortage of men.  I’m not just talking about black women either; peek your head into the conversations of our white sisters (if you’re not already cool with them) and you’ll see that they’re having the same issues many of us seem to be having.  But hey, a woman’s got needs just like any other man would so we’re “getting it in” even with the issues some of us seem to be having with our deeper relationships.

Check out the survey here. Do you consider yourself sexually “free?”  Would you like to try a little something different to spice up your life?

MadameNoire.com

It seems as though every day there’s a new survey about teen pregnancy, whether it’s a CDC report of states with the highest and lowest teen pregnancy rates, or teens speaking on what and who most influences their sexual choices. “The Target Speaks” study finally gives a voice to this misunderstood demographic.  The survey conducted by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy provide findings drawn from two surveys: one given to young unmarried adults between the ages of 18-29 and one of the adult population of 18 and older.

What I find when I talk to today’s youth is that more and more the challenges of sexual health are more about values and conflicting ideas of what healthy relationships are than they are about birth control and reproduction. I said it once and I’ll say it again:  Most teens (not all, but most) are educated enough to lead a class about birth control, but they have no concept of self-love, respect, communication and what sex really means to them.  We can give out all of the condoms in the world, but the truth is, many teens and adults alike continue to confuse love with sex and use sex as a means to build confidence, find love and acceptance. Interestingly enough, “The Target Speaks” survey reveals just how disconnected we are with today’s youth and our own values and how those values impact the influence we have over their decisions.

PlasticSurgeryGuide.com

For example, about two-thirds of unmarried young adults 18-29 (67 percent) incorrectly believe that teens have the highest number of unplanned pregnancies. However, most unplanned pregnancies occur to women in their 20’s.  The media is flagrant with infotainment like “16 and Pregnant,” “Teen Mom” and Lifetime’s “The Pregnancy Pact,” which may be responsible for misleading the public into believing that teen pregnancy occurs more frequently than it actually does.  Although the United States is an industrialized nation with one of the highest teen pregnancy rates, it is actually on the decline.  According to the Guttmacher Institute, in 2008 teen pregnancy reached its lowest level in 40 years.

As for adults, the survey also reveals that although most Americans pride themselves on having sexual morality and values, our actions fail to fall in line with those beliefs.  One in five young unmarried adults report that even if a condom is handy, they still will not use one unless their partner insists.  Additionally, many of us aren’t practicing what we preach because our sermons are faulty. Four in ten young adults agreed with the statement, “It doesn’t matter whether you use contraception or not; when it is your time to get pregnant, it will happen.” A whopping 72 percent revealed they knew little or nothing about IUDs and 36 percent of young adults incorrectly believe that a woman should “take a break” from the pill every couple of years.

Meanwhile, as we are repeating to teens the importance of postponing parenthood until adult years, 67 percent of adults between the ages of 18-29 responded that, “Getting pregnant and having children is one of the most important things people ever do.”  We spend so much time sending misleading messages of what not to do, that we fail to highlight the accomplishments we expect from of our youth such as completing school or getting a job.  In this economy, it’s getting increasingly harder to find examples of how education and hard work pay off; you have to remember that for many teens the examples they witness daily is that the quickest way to independence, financial stability and housing is to have a baby.  While many of their peers struggle to gain financial stability when choosing a more traditional path, those with children are living on their own and leading “adult” lives even if it is through government assistance. ”Your children are more likely to delay sex, pregnancy and parenthood if they feel they have meaningful goals for the future and a way to reach them,”  stated the National Campaign in an article published in Essence magazine titled “8 Tips For Talking With Your Teens About Sex, Love and Relationships.”

How do we expect our youth to make healthy sexual choices when we aren’t even sure of our own sexuality?  Just the other day I discussed with a group of young ladies the differences between love and sex.  One of the ladies felt comfortable enough to reveal how she met the father of her child and stated the following: “It was at party.  He grabbed my hand and the next thing I knew we were having sex.”  My co-worker later questioned how I was able to keep my jaw from dropping to the floor and continue to talk to the girls about choices and the expectations of sex without going into “pedestal preaching” mode.  The simple answer: I am comfortable with my own values and sexuality.  When you are comfortable with your own choices and code of conduct you can therefore respect the choices of others and encourage them to challenge their thoughts and actions.

Before we judge what we view as reckless and irresponsible behavior, we must first reflect on our own faults as adults and pay close attention to the examples we are setting and the subliminal messages we send all the times we are NOT having the sex talk, or living recklessly ourselves.  We can’t expect our youth to take an honest look at their attitudes and values if we aren’t even willing to do so ourselves.  To learn about more about the survey’s findings, visit:  “The Target Speaks.”

Toya Sharee is a community health educator and parenting education coordinator who has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee.

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ibitimes.com

People, get “your” cousin. I’ve had enough.

Desmond Hatchett is from Knoxville, Tennessee and he is taking their population through the roof. Well, this of course, with the help of the 11 mothers of his 30 children, according to Yahoo via WREG-TV. Oh yes, this is true. 11 Women. 30 children. Desmond is 33 years old. He’s had four kids in same year TWICE.  Are we clear on that? There are two sets of children (eight children total) who are the same age! The kids range from toddler age to 14 years old.

Back in 2009, when Desmond only had 21 children (blank stare), the courts wanted to know why he wasn’t paying child support for most of them.  The simplest answer is that he just doesn’t make enough money. He “promised” to stop having kids then but three years later, there are 9 more children.  This man is running around here making babies with every chick that will allow it and he only makes minimum wage. The court takes half his check and divides it between the mothers. These women end up with under $2 per child a month.

So what’s going to happen? Nothing. It isn’t against the law for him to have this many children and quite frankly, the women he sleeps with haven’t seen him on the news.  I’m sure if this story is revisited in five years, we can probably add another 10 children to the list.  I’d like to completely blame Desmond but what is going on with these women!?!

There is no “d” that good or man that fine that would allow me to ignore red flags of this nature. I mean, I just…there’s nothing left to say. Are condoms banned from Knoxville?

Have any of you met a man like this who expected you to treat him like it was all good? Have you treated a man in this situation like it was all good?

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From YourTango.com

It doesn’t matter how charming he is. It doesn’t matter how Hot he is. Your health is still the number one priority.  If you are prepared when he bats his eyelashes and runs his very Hot hand up your thigh, you will stay in control of both your safety and your pleasure. Here are the top five excuses men use to attempt to wiggle out of wearing a condom and the responses you need to stay safe.

Excuse #1: Birth control is the woman’s responsibility.

Sadly this is not a new argument. Ancient Egyptian, Greek and Roman cultures all thought the same thing, and that is why you won’t see many references to condoms in their ancient literature. In fact, the only references to “male birth control” you may find in their writings refer only to “coitus interruptus”—that’s the “pull-out” method, by the way —and anal sex. Puh-lease!

Find out the other ridiculous reasons why your man may try to get out of wearing a condom at YourTango.com. 

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From BlackVoices.com

So you meet the man of your dreams, set up shop and make plans to grow old together. Then you find out that his plan does not include having children…ever.

Do you: a) run for the hills; b) give up your hopes of having a mini-me to call your own; or c) proceed with the marriage and then flush your contraception down the toilet so you can get pregnant anyway?

Last week’s episode of Cafe Mom Studios’ Coffee Shop Confessions took on the topic and, more broadly, the idea of lying to your spouse. The subject of debate? A mother who says that she stopped taking her birth control pills without her husband’s knowledge (and against his will presumably) and is now expecting their third child.

“Talk about deceitful!” says Timberly Whitfield, who co-hosts the 10-part YouTube series with Andrew Shue of “Melrose Place” and co-founder of Do Something, Alex McCord of the “Real Housewives of New York,” and actress and dancer Julie Knight.

An international survey conducted in 2009 revealed that spouses are most likely to mislead each other over their whereabouts, but most are far more scrupulous on matters related to sex, money and “the kids.”

For the complete story, visit BlackVoices.com.

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There’s pretty much no reason for anyone to accidentally get pregnant these days, particularly on Pennsylvania University’s campus, unless students are just being totally reckless.

In case anyone on the campus passed up the condom aisle at Walgreens or decided to take a risk and go raw one night, they can now obtain Plan B, also known as the morning after pill, from a vending machine located in the campus health center.

According to NewsOne, Roger Serr, Vice President for Student Affairs, says the machine was installed after a request from the student association and a follow-up survey found that 85 percent of students supported it.

Plan B, which is already available without a prescription to girls 17 and older, isn’t covered or subsidized by the school. Students are charged $25 for the pill, which is the school’s cost to the pharmaceutical company, and less than what pharmacies off-campus charge. In addition to the emergency contraceptive, students can also purchase condoms, decongestant, and pregnancy tests from the machine.

I guess if access to preventive methods is a big issue in the Shippensburg, PA, area then the campus has that covered.

What do you think about this method? Is it progressive or too casual of a way to deal with something so serious?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Say goodbye to condom-less Adult Videos, if that’s your sort of thing, because as of yesterday, The Los Angeles City Council approved a new mandate requiring all actors in pornographic films to wear condoms during any filming that takes place within city limits.

Rather than wasting the time and money it would have taken to put the mandate on the city’s ballot in June, council members decided they should just save the money and approve the measure which was expected to be passed by voters anyway. So, that’s exactly what the council did in a 9-to-1 vote Tuesday.

“This is a no-brainer of an issue,” Councilman Paul Koretz says. “It’s not going to cost us very much to enforce — we won’t spend any more money enforcing this than we do any other law. And in this case, if you don’t follow the law, it will be on film.”

Good point. The new mandate will allow the LAPD to perform spot checks on any set once a film permit is issued and a group of officials from the Police Department, the state’s workplace safety agency, and the city attorney’s office will make recommendations on how to implement the policy, which will become effective in 90 days. Filmmakers will also incur a fee on all pornographic films going forward to cover the costs of enforcement.

As these things typically go, not everyone is happy with the decision. The one Councilman who voted no, Mitchell Englander, says the city shouldn’t waste its resources enforcing a mandate that could push the Adult Videos business out of LA and cost the county even more money, but Michael Weinstein, president of the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, says that’s not going to happen.

“They cannot just pick up their stakes and move to another state. They’d hardly be welcomed in West Virginia or Utah or Mississippi, or even a place like Nevada, where legal prostitution is highly regulated and condoms are required. And we will follow them wherever they go.”

Are you happy this mandate passed? Will it affect our “viewership” at all?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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No wonder STD rates in the United States are out of control—people are starting out the gate raw.

Results of Durex’s annual Sexual Wellbeing global survey found that 6 out of 10 Americans didn’t use protection when they lost their virginity. That fact alone is bad, but when you compare it to other countries like Mexico and Colombia who had lower rates of unprotected sex at 49% and 47%, this looks really bad. Of the 60% who didn’t practice safe sex their first time, only half (49%) were confident their sexual partner was free of STIs.

One out of five of all those in a relationship admit they are unsure of their partner’s experience—I’m not sure if that also means they are unsure of their partner’s status, but I hope not. Only about 24% of the women who had admitted to having unprotected sex said it was a mistake and they regretted it. I think the rest just got lucky (twice).

Sounds like Durex may need to up their advertising. The data from the 29,000 respondents (taken across 36 different countries) doesn’t bid to too well for their market penetration—or America’s sexual health.

What do you think about these stats? Are you surprised by how many people don’t use protection their first time?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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