All Articles Tagged "communication in a relationship"
Texting is the most utilized form of communication between couples, friends and friends with benefits today. It’s efficient. It can be flirty with all those emoticons. It allows for communication at any time, like in a meeting or on the toilet, but it also allows you to avoid real conversation. So, it can be hard to read how a guy feels about you, beyond those little letters on the screen.
I’m not saying that every woman wants to be in a relationship. And I’m certainly not saying that, if you do want one you should take tips from just any woman in a relationship. But, if you do find yourself wishing to have someone special in your life, and want one to finally stick, pay close attention to the details of your friend’s relationship that you really admire.
It’s the burning question that you ask yourself every time you’re a bridesmaid (yet again), or you go through another breakup, or a man tells you he’s not looking for anything serious but you secretly know he’s just not looking for you. And when you start to answer it, you probably start to analyze yourself, and your exes. You try to understand what is wrong with you, and what was wrong with them. But you’re missing the point, which is this: it’s not about who you are as an individual, or who he is as an individual. It’s about what happens when the two of you come together. A guy might seem great on paper, but for some reason, it didn’t work. And that’s because what’s more important than character traits, is dynamics. Like these:
I’ve heard from too many women infuriating, irritating and unacceptable (in my opinion) stories about things their boyfriends do. And they wrap these stories up with, “It’s just one of his quirks.” QUIRKS? A quirk is cute. Typically, a person realizes they have a quirk, and they try to work around it. But, some attributes are simply flaws—they make your relationship harder, they make one person have to work more than the other, they cause pain and they cause real fights. Know the difference between a quirk and a flaw because, a quirk can be accepted. A flaw is what it sounds like—it flaws your relationship—and it should be worked on, not accepted.
Something both men and women have in common when it comes to love is that, they don’t want to know the truth. We’re willing to turn our brains off before we’re finished thinking something through because we don’t want to come to an unpleasant conclusion. It’s a major shame because face it: the events of life usually force you to come to those conclusions anyways. If you would have forced yourself to face them on your own, you could avoid a lot of struggle.
It’s that moment. You feel like if you open your mouth the only words that will come out, no matter how hard you try, will be the line you’ve got prepared—maybe it’s passive aggressive, accusatory, begins with a deep sob or a shake of the head. But you’re about to tell him: you’re mad. Even though we get overwhelmed by our emotions sometimes, if we can, we should pause before picking our next fight just to make sure it’s worth it. Or, if it’s even fair. It’s hard to be logical at that moment just before explosion, so if you have some questions ready for yourself, you might have a chance at avoiding a blowup.
Once you start to veer off the path of love—and I mean doing things because you genuinely and selflessly want the best for the other person—things can get confusing. You don’t trust your partner. Your partner doesn’t trust you. Suddenly, taking care of the relationship and taking care of yourself are two things that don’t coincide. That’s when your relationship is more about competition—about being the one who doesn’t get hurt, embarrassed, or screwed over—than about loving someone.
“That’s just how men are.” A sentence that pretty much every woman who fears asking for what she wants, or who doesn’t even know what she deserves, says to excuse her boyfriend’s inexcusable acts. But it’s never just how “men” are—it’s how that woman’s man is. Don’t ever believe that all men are like this, and that your only option is to deal with it.
There are just some things that men should never say or do to a woman. Unfortunately, many of the them don’t know it and they later find themselves in the dog house with no sign of getting out anytime soon. To save face, we’ve outlined a few of those things so everyone stays happy and reminded…
There is so much BS we put up with from men in college, in our twenties, and for some (unfortunately) forever. But, as the years go on, if you’re really learning from your mistakes and growing up, there are certain ways in which your relationships should be improving. Check it.