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Before the entire day is spent configuring, packing, and taping up boxes; before the $300 is spent on movers; before giving up the apartment you love and searched for for months, and the selling of half your belongings that won’t fit in the new place, you should know—and we mean know—that cohabitation is more of a good idea than a bad one. And here’s how.

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Science has shown us that the chemicals that produce the feeling of infatuation die off after two to three years in a relationship. After that, only true compatibility will keep a couple happy. But just happy, not ecstatic. And it feels good to be ecstatic, and you and your partner deserve to have that forever! So, how do you recreate what your chemicals are failing to create for you? By keeping the spark alive like this.

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Don’t worry: your love isn’t disintegrating, he doesn’t find you any less attractive, and you’re not in a rut. There are just some behaviors couples can’t keep up forever. But these changes here will come and go throughout any good relationship.

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You can be in a one-sided relationship and not even know it because A) You want to see what you want to see and B) The guy you’re seeing puts in just enough effort to give you the hope he’ll commit, eventually. But here’s a truth about men: they’re either all in immediately, or they never really are. Here’s how to know if you’re the only one taking your relationship seriously.

No relationship is perfect. There is a certain amount of arguing and sacrificing in every one. But, how much is too much? When has a relationship crossed over from functional to a little bumpy, to just plain toxic?

Here’s how you can tell..

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With women progressively becoming considered equals to men over the years, what it means to be a woman has become complicated. It’s great that we can act like “a man” in many ways, or rather that many actions that used to be deemed “masculine” have become fair game, like being the aggressor in sex, and just being an aggressor in life. But, some women are so dead set on being equal, that they accidentally go a little too far and become—for lack of a better word—bossy. And that’s not an appealing quality in any gender. If you fulfill your gender role in these simple ways, you’ll be surprised how equal you still feel, and closer to your partner:

Everything can be going great—the two of you are on cloud 9, you’re totally smitten, you never hesitate to send a cute text, you never question one another’s feelings and then…the relationship killer sets in: insecurity. Which always leads to paranoia. There is no knowing if or when it will come, but if you think it has, look out for these signs:

What’s one of my favorite things about being single? Not having to deal with the emotional roller coaster that is a relationship. Constantly worrying about someone else’s well being, not to mention having your happiness so closely tied to someone else’s treatment of you, is exhausting. Just one road trip with your man—the arguing about directions, the wondering why he has been silent the past hour, the hoping he actually wants to visit your friends he agreed to visit—can make you need a Prozac. Essentially, relationships can give us anxiety. And men in particular can give us anxiety in these areas:

On many dating sites, one of the pre-written questions asks something along the lines of “how did your last relationship end?” and the answers vary from “as peaceful as could be” to “peaceful, but with each of us feeling very hurt” to “full of drama and angry emails.” Ever wonder what was behind those answers? Probably one of these:

“Does he even care?!” That’s a question that runs through the minds of many women. Every time a man falls short of our expectations in some way, we wonder if he feels any remorse, or any desire to do better next time. I’ve learned from my male friends, and even from men that I used to date, that guys do genuinely wish they were better at these things: