All Articles Tagged "child support"

A Father’s Worst Nightmare: Child Support!

August 18th, 2015 - By Kweli Wright
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When writing this article not only did I have to think about my own personal experiences with taking my first children‘s father to family court, but I also had to reference the number of horror stories I’ve heard from my friends. For starters, I never ever, ever wanted to end up in family court. I would have much rather settled the situation out of court, but unfortunately for me, that wasn’t the case. So off to the court house I went looking for some very much needed financial support that I wasn’t getting.

What most men don’t understand is that most women (and I do mean women, not girls) do not want to waste their time taking off from work to go to court to have a judge tell you what to do. You should already be doing what you’re supposed to be doing. The fact that a woman is taking you to court should be the last straw…..in my opinion anyways. I also understand that some men have issues finding stable employment (at least that was the case with my first childrens father). I’m cool with all of that! To me, as long as you’re spending quality time with your children and letting them know you want to be a part of their lives is good for me until you can get back on your feet. However, don’t abuse this excuse either. You should have a plan and be able to express your goals and plans to your child’s mother and let her know you are actively seeking employment.

All in all, it should come down to the fact that if you are not going to marry the mother of your children, you should at least have a good relationship with her should you breakup. I know this takes time, but you MUST put your children first and your hurt feelings (if any) to the side. In a perfect world this would be easy to attain, but unfortunately, this takes hard work and effort on both parties to get.

My situation was one where I tried to have a dialogue with my children’s father and told him I needed some financial assistance and he laughed at me. At the time, he was giving me $50 a week and thought that was enough. Please keep in mind he was making well enough money to have given me more, but he wanted to be a hard ass just for spite! I swear to you I didn’t want to take him to court, but he left me with no other options. When our court date came, the judge ordered him to pay $175 a week plus half of my childrens daycare and medical expenses. Although I made out like a bandit back then, he was not happy about the judge’s decision. So instead of appealing the courts decision, he decided not to pay me one red cent for the next four years! He eventually accumulated arrears in the amount of $65,000 and lost his drivers license privileges. I had him locked up three times because at one point I was struggling so much I got into debt running up all of my credit cards.

My children’s father finally got his act together, but it took him years to do that and to this day he hasn’t gotten over me taking him to court. He did finally pay off ALL of his arrears and for that I am grateful, but dang I had to go through hell and high water just to get some money to take care of his kids. I mean why put me through that when I was taking good care of our kids? I’ll never understand that. Now this is just my side of the “child support” process. There are some really good men out there who get taken to court forchild support just for spite from their childrens mother and to me this is the worst kind of woman! This is the type of woman who lives to make her child’s fathers life miserable. She loves nothing more than to see him vulnerable at the judge’s mercy…..and in all honesty most men are at court due to the judge’s mercy. Some of these judge’s pass out child support orders I couldn’t even imagine!

A good friend of mine not only had to pay off the mortgage on his house him and his girlfriend lived in, but he had to continue to pay for her car as well as 75% of the daycare and medical expenses for his children…..that wasn’t including his monthly child supportorder which was well over $1500 a month! These two weren’t even married and she got all of that. Thankfully for her, my friend was no slouch and did everything he was supposed to do. However, despite her great child support order, she gave this man the run around just to see his children. When he went to pick up his kids, she wouldn’t answer the door. She’d say things like she wasn’t home, or claim it wasn’t his weekend. She made his life pure hell just to see his kids. But God is good and my friend eventually took her to court and got legal 50% custody of his children.But its sad when you have to hear stories like this.

My point in writing this article is that if we all collectively communicated what was going on with a clear understanding of what we are saying to each other, things would be so much simpler in life and we wouldn’t have to go through things like going to court. I mean, in all actuality, who really wants to be sitting up in court? I know I sure didn’t!

Chris Brown Hints That Royalty’s Mother Is Using Her As A “Meal Ticket”

August 8th, 2015 - By Ashley Monaé
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Chris Brown

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As the reported custody battle between Chris Brown and the mother of his child Nia Guman-Amey continues, the R&B singer spoke out on the drama that has ensued.

Notorious for venting on social media, Brown took his baby mama drama to Twitter, of course. While he didn’t mention Amey specifically, he did discuss women using their children as “meal tickets” and even leverage against fathers. This comes after Amey recently requested $15,000 a month for the child support of their daughter Royalty after the two agreed on $10,000 a month.

 

According to an exclusive source from Hollywood Life, Amey is disgusted with Brown’s poor parenting. “He will drop millions on cars, rims, tires, Jordan sneakers—all that fabulous crap–but won’t make sure Royalty’s living in the lap of luxury,” says the source.

Is Breezy in the wrong for taking his family drama to Twitter?

 

You Owe Me: Carmen Bryan, Nas And Child Support

July 16th, 2015 - By Rich
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Carmen Bryan, the mother of Nas’ daughter, is reportedly homeless.  After their daughter, Destiny Jones turned eighteen, she allegedly hasn’t had a stable living condition.

According to sister site Bossip:

Nas’s first baby’s mother Carmen Bryan is homeless. Carmen has been homeless since last summer when Nas stop sending her monthly support checks. He continued to send her support checks after their child was eighteen and she believed that he would send them forever since she was the mother of his child. After she decided to put lies out about him on social media he cut her off. She has never spent a dime out of her own pocket to support her daughter because except writing a tell all book, she has not had a J-O-B since giving birth.

She’s been here in Queens all year squatting from house to house telling old stories from the late 90’s. When she wears out her welcome she gets buddy passes to mooch off of people in LA and Atlanta.

Well damn…I hope this isn’t true.

However, this brings one to ponder about the ever-ongoing debate about child support.  The consensus from many men is that the money is called child support, meaning that it’s purpose is to purchase needs and a few wants pertaining to their son or daughter.  Once the child is eighteen, dad (and I say dad because more often than not the father is paying child support) has fulfilled his financial obligation.  Of course, it isn’t this simple.

Many times it seems as if there is a misconception in which part of-or all of the money-is used as additional income as if it is some kind of alimony.  There are people who take advantage of the system.  It’s easy money.  I personally know a few mothers who live with their parents that collect exorbitant child support checks, live beyond comfortable lives, and could care less just to stick it to their baby’s father/ex-husbands.  It sucks; but it’s reality.

While many of us have tried at some point, most black fathers aren’t rappers who have made millions.  We are living check-to-check.  Sometimes that child support payment holds the whole family down in between paychecks.  While I don’t receive child support in the traditional sense, my daughter’s survivor’s benefits from her mother passing away come through in the clutch for everything from “Damn, I left my wallet at home,” to buying a monthly train passes when starting a new job.  For the most part, I would “replace” the money.  I say that in an attempt to be transparent and suggest sometimes things happen and we all have to survive.

What about the mother?  Sometimes that too can be complicated.  I think that’s contingent on the relationship between both parents.  Many feel it is within their moral compass to take care of and assist outside of the child.  And why not?  That’s the person who carried their offspring and probably have primary custody.

In the speculative case of Carmen Bryan, one can’t help but wonder what happened.  We know Destiny’s monthly deposits were more than enough to take care of her.  We are pretty sure that he has done more for his daughter than write a song and have a fixed amount deducted from is account every month.  I’m sure Carmen wasn’t completely irresponsible with the money.  She could have been saving the money.  Maybe she had a hard time getting gainful employment because of who fathered her daughter?  There’s a possibility that she had been living off of the residual checks from her 2007 tell-all book, From Nas to Jay-Z, from Seduction to Scandal–a Hip-Hop Helen of Troy Tells All.  We know that she and Nas haven’t always seen eye-to-eye and she’s been vocal about that from time to time.

I’m pretty sure Carmen Bryan is doing just fine and these are just rumors.  As soon as these reports surfaced, Bryan posted a picture of herself in Instagram holding a stack of $100 bills.

…then again we know people do nothing but lie on social media.

Chris Brown Checks Daughter’s Grandma Over Child Support Dispute

July 9th, 2015 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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A photo posted by 1 (@chrisbrownofficial) on

Earlier this month, we told you that Chris Brown‘s co-parenting relationship with his daughter’s mother, Nia Guzman, became a bit strained due to issues concerning child support. Unfortunately, this dispute has spilled over into social media and Guzman’s mother has gotten involved.

Guzman’s mom left a comment beneath an Instagram photo stating that her granddaughter is in need of a security guard. She wrote:

She needs security even when she’s with Nia, she needs to go to private school and she needs to live in a gated community for his own daughter’s safety.

Brown, clearly frustrated with the platform she chose to discuss these issues, responded with stern words about the child support dispute:

Obviously you aren’t looking out for my daughter by putting personal issues up on Instagram. I’m not gonna be disrespectful and rude about this becuz I know and they know I provide and take care of my daughter equally. I work and have a job and so will the mother. I actually stepped up to the plate to be a father and haven’t complained once. And deep down you know y’all on some bs. Not here to bash anyone nor be confrontational. I filed for joint custody. “EQUAL” custody. No kid needs $4k a week. Especially when I have her 2weeks out of the month. So this is the last time I’m ever saying my peace on this issue. Let the courts handle everything else so we can handle the matter as civil adults. Telling all your business is childish and is not setting a good loving environment for ROYALTY. I have no ill intentions and I love my daughter. #godbless.

As previously reported, Brown filed court documents to establish paternity of Royalty in an effort to establish reasonable child support and custodial agreements with the courts.

We have to say, we’re pretty impressed with how he’s handling this.

#ChrisBrown vs Nia's Mother! #ClapBackSeason!! C.c. @balleralert

A photo posted by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom) on

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

Sherri Shepherd And Lamar Sally Reach Temporary Child Support Agreement

July 1st, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
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Lamar Sally's prenup amendments reportedly included guidelines for sex, fitness and submission.

Source: WENN

It’s been a long, dirty, nasty, messy road, but according to TMZ, Sherri Shepherd and her ex husband Lamar Sally have finally reached a divorce settlement.

The whole thing took so long because Lamar and Sherri were trying to reach an agreement on child support for the baby Lamar and Sherri chose to have through a surrogate.

While Sherri presumably won’t be involved in the rearing of the baby, the comedienne and media maven will pay $4,100 per month in child support. The amount will increase to $4,600 when the child turns 13.

Sherri has maintained that Sally defrauded her into getting a surrogate to carry the baby so he could profit off of her, despite their divorce.

That fraud claim still hasn’t been settled though.

So, this could be far from over.

If the court finds that Sally did indeed defraud Shepherd, the child support obligations will disappear.

Additionally, the couple had embryos in storage and Sherri wants them destroyed, while Lamar is still undecided. According to the settlement currently on the table, if Sally decides to bring the embryos to term, Sherri will not have to pay child support.

It’ll be interesting to see whether or not Sherri will be able to prove Lamar Sally defrauded her or not. Either way, we’ll be sure to keep you posted.

Seriously?! Dad Threw 4-Year Old Daughter Off Cliff To Avoid Child Support

May 16th, 2015 - By Courtney Whitaker
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FILE - This July 27, 2009 file photo shows Cameron Brown in Los Angeles Superior Court during his second trial on murder charges in the death of his 4-year-old daughter, Lauren Sarene Key, in November, 2000. The first two trials ended in mistrial. during his third trial on murder charges in the death of his 4-year-old daughter, Lauren Sarene Key, in November, 2000. The first two trials ended in mistrial. In his third trial, on Wednesday, May 13, 2015, jurors found Brown guilty of first degree murder. (Brad Graverson/The Daily Breeze via AP, File) MAGS OUT, NO SALES

FILE – This July 27, 2009 file photo shows Cameron Brown in Los Angeles Superior Court during his second trial on murder charges in the death of his 4-year-old daughter, Lauren Sarene Key, in November, 2000. The first two trials ended in mistrial. during his third trial on murder charges in the death of his 4-year-old daughter, Lauren Sarene Key, in November, 2000. The first two trials ended in mistrial. In his third trial, on Wednesday, May 13, 2015, jurors found Brown guilty of first degree murder. (Brad Graverson/The Daily Breeze via AP, File) MAGS OUT, NO SALES

After nearly 15 years, a mother has finally received justice.

Sarah Key-Marer received the news that her 4-year-old daughter had fallen off a sea cliff to her death 15 year years ago. Ever since then, Sarah has been waiting to find out if her daughter’s father was responsible or not.

According to the AP, two previous juries remained deadlocked in the case. However, Wednesday a new set of jurors found Cameron Brown guilty of first-degree murder. Brown, pushed 4-year-old Lauren off the cliff back in November 2000. Cameron pushed her because he did not want to pay child support and had been in a nasty dispute with her mother. Brown claimed Lauren tripped and fell off the cliff as she ran toward the edge.

However, after six weeks and several visits to the scene of the crime, jurors found him guilty.

“The expert witnesses made it pretty clear, and when we did the site visit, it was clear to us, as well, that it didn’t seem likely that a 4-year-old girl would be up there of her own volition,” said foreman Greg Apodaca.

Cameron who is now 53, will face a mandatory term of life in prison without parole.

Should Men Go To Jail When They Fail To Pay Child Support?

April 20th, 2015 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Pay Child Support

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Over the years there have been reports of celebrities and average citizens alike serving jail time for not paying child support. We might not have much sympathy for celebrities who fail to make payments. But what about men who are working poor? Should those people, mostly men, many Black men, be incarcerated for this infraction?

In their report, The New York Times says “the threat of jail [is] considered an effective incentive for people who are able but unwilling to pay.”

But critics of this policy believe this incentive traps “poor men in a cycle of debt, unemployment and imprisonment.” The cycle is believed to begin with the court order that requires the child support payee to pay an amount they cannot afford. Steep child support payments may never be paid or are paid occasionally but not in the full. As time passes, these payments become an incomprehensible amount of debt.

If the payment is not paid at all or in full, authorities withhold 65 percent of the payee’s paycheck, seize bank accounts and tax refunds, suspend driver and professional licenses and lastly impose jail time.

“Parents who are truly destitute go to jail over and over again for child support debt simply because they’re poor. We see many cases in which the person is released, they’re given three months to pay a large amount of money, and then if they can’t do that they’re tossed right back in the county jail,” says Sarah Geraghty, an attorney with the Southern Center for Human Rights. The group recently filed a lawsuit in Georgia for parents who are incarcerated for failing to pay child support but have no legal representation.

The New York Times says there is no national count of parents who are incarcerated for failing to pay their child support and enforcement to pay varies from state to state. Though, a survey claims in 2009, one in eight inmates in South Carolina was imprisoned for not paying their child support. In 2010, 3,500 parents were been imprisoned in Georgia for this reason, and 1,800 parents were given ankle monitors or jailed in two New Jersey counties during 2013.

It should also be noted, in some states if the parent who receives child support is on public assistance, the parent who pays child support must pay it back. By paying both child support and welfare reimbursement, most child support payees are not able to live above a practical income level. Therefore, those parents lag behind their bills, rent/mortgage or living expenses adding to their dire financial circumstances.

Many believe people should not conceive children they cannot afford, especially when child support plays a dramatic role in co-parenting. But that rule of thumb does not apply to those who have created children during their marriage. It is believed that Walter Scott, who was shot in the back while fleeing former Police Officer Mike Slager, did so because he didn’t want to have to go back to jail over unpaid child support. He has children conceived both with in and out of wedlock.

To read the full New York Times article, click here. Any thoughts on how we should re-regulate this issue?

Walter Scott’s Children Matter, Too

April 14th, 2015 - By Charing Ball
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AP

AP

Quick question: When do Black lives begin to matter?

Do they only matter when they are shot dead like wild and rabid animals in the street?

Or do black lives matter starting at birth?

What I mean is that 50-year-old Walter Scott died owing thousands of dollars in child support – between $7,000 and $18,000, depending on who you ask – for his four children. As reported by the Huffington Post:

“He was kind,” Scott’s brother Anthony, remembered. “He loved his children, he was a great father.”

But Scott, who was killed on Saturday by police officer Michael Slager in North Charleston, South Carolina, had also long struggled to pay child support. In 2008, he went to jail for a full six months after falling behind by $6,800 in child support payments, according to The Associated Press. Scott spent one night in jail in both 2011 and 2012, again because he owed thousands in child support. At the time of Scott’s death, there was a warrant out for his arrest due to failure to make child support payments. (Scott also had a history of convictions and arrests for other offenses, according to The Post And Courier, a Charleston paper.)

The knowledge of the arrest warrant for failed payments is likely what spurred Scott to run from Slager on Saturday during a traffic stop over a broken taillight.

“He said that’s what he would do, he would run, because he’s not going to jail for child support,” Scott’s other brother, Rodney, told MSNBC.”

The article then goes on to ruminate about the heavy-handedness of the child support system. A system, which as the article states, is responsible for 13.2 percent of financially truant parents being put behind bars in all of South Carolina, and 15 percent in Charleston County, where Scott owed money.

Michael Gartland, who writes for The New York Post, spoke about his chance encounter with Scott back in 2003. Gartland interviewed him when Scott was a client of Father to Father, a program that seeks to help men struggling with child support payments.

As Gartland writes:

When I first met Scott in Charleston, it was to talk about Father to Father, a program he enrolled in after being locked up for failing to make child-support payments.

Scott didn’t stand to get a reduction in those payments by agreeing to talk to me. Outing himself as a deadbeat wasn’t going to help his public image, either.

The most he could hope for was that other dads struggling to make payments would learn about the program, which aimed to help them.

Scott told me at the time that after he initially got pinched, “I said, ‘Man, you got four kids depending on you, and you got people in your life that love you. You got to get it together.'”

Scott wasn’t perfect, but he was honest and didn’t hide his time in the clink.

He told me he was so overwhelmed with not being able to hold down a job and make the payments that he withdrew from his children and turned to booze to kill the pain.

While all of this is unfortunate, I noticed that I have read article after article, which has used Scott’s death to paint him as a victim twice: once by a trigger-happy police officer, and again by a broken collection system. However, where are the think pieces about his children’s lives? Where are thoughtful words about the children who needed both the money and their father to survive? Where are the Kickstarter, GoFundMe, and other crowdsourcing campaigns? Who thinks about the women left behind — the mother, the stepmothers, the aunts, grandmothers, the fiancées — who will be and pretty much have been raising the children alone? Who thinks about the ones who were given no choice but to be financially responsible for the children? The ones who did not exercise or get to exercise the privilege of being a sometimes parent. The ones who had to be there for every dirty diaper, every snotty nose, and there not only the first, but second, third, and all other days of school. The women who did not have the luxury of escaping the hardships of responsibility through alcohol dependency.

What about the guilt these mothers feel every time they turn on the news and watch the replay of their children’s father being gunned down in the street? In the midst of making villains out of the child support system, the only structure we have to hold truant and questionable parents accountable at times when they are too consumed with their own survival, who thinks of the children?

The answer to that is nobody.

According to the Census, out of the 6.2 million women who have an order for child support, 75 percent received only one payment and only 25 percent received the amount due. That translates into one in four mothers and their children who may receive the support they need.

In a poignant piece, New York Times columnist Charles Blow speaks out against the moral arguments used to justify Scott’s senseless murder. “The judicial system could have easily dealt with any misdeed Scott is accused of — failure to pay child support, failure to present proper documentation for a car he was driving, resisting arrest, fleeing — and none of those offenses, if he were found guilty of any or all, would have carried the death sentence.”

This is true. Scott’s failure to support his children does not warrant his death. However, there is another truth here that needs to be spoken and not glossed over. Moreover, it needs to be spoken loudly and clearly so that we all understand. Scott did not struggle to financially support his children. He just didn’t. Scott was a Black man unjustly shot dead while running away from responsibility. Scott’s children are not going to go without just because Michael Slager decided to shoot a Black man in the back. The truth is that Scott forfeited his children’s lives long before that. And while we all are mourning and rallying around the tragically wasted life of Scott, let’s not forget that there are other Black lives in need that matter that we should be rallying around too.

Celebrities Who Cried Broke To Avoid Paying Child Support

April 6th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Think these stars are worth millions? When the courts came looking for these celebrities who owe child support they said that they live a lot more modestly than people think. Do you believe them?

Get Your Life: Rich Dollaz Arrested For Not Paying Child Support In 14 Years

February 23rd, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
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Rich Dollaz Arrested For Not Paying Child Support

Source: Instagram

Looks like “Love and Hip Hop New York” star, Rich Dollaz’s name might just be wishful thinking. Our sister site Bossip confirmed that the music industry executive has been arrested for owing hundreds of thousands of dollars in back child support.

Police picked Dollaz up near his North Bergen, New Jersey home last week and as of today, he’s still sitting in jail. A judge ordered that he would need to pay $82,000 in cash to get out on bail.

Richie Dollaz, whose legal name is Richard Trowers, was arrested for two different child support warrants, one for $188,000 and another $12,000.

Chaundrea Nicole, one of the mothers of Dollaz’s children said that he owes $188,000 for her 14-year-old daughter.

She told Bossip, “My caseworker called me last week and told me they had him. He’s never made one payment. He’s only seen my daughter one time. I do want them to develop a relationships, but it’s not right at all.”

Chaundrea continued, “He’s on the show, he’s got all these different cars but when my daughter asks for some tennis shoes, he won’t respond.”

Preach!

Judging by all the money Rich claims to have on the show, there is absolutely no reason he hasn’t made a single payment in 14 years. Even if he had some type of off-the-book agreement with Nicole, he should have been smart enough to get the law involved.

What’s particularly interesting is Rich’s inmate profile form. In the occupation section, he told authorities that he was unemployed.

Rich Dollaz Arrested For Not Paying Child Support

Source: Bossip

Seeing that the judge wants $82,000 in cash, Dollaz might be in that cell for a little while longer.

He’s set to appear in court again in March.