All Articles Tagged "child custody"

Lay Down the Law: Dos and Don’ts of Child Custody Cases

September 14th, 2015 - By Kweli Wright
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It’s one of the more complicated issues in life. Child custody cases are loathed by many, and for good reason. As you and your ex battle it out over issues ranging from visitation to the place the child more regularly calls home, accusations, emotions and feelings are ignited making the situation even more stressful than it already is.

It’s often an out-of-body experience when you find yourself heading to court to butt heads with someone you may have once cared about or loved, but many people find themselves in that exact position. And if you’re a first-timer to the family law system, it can be a daunting, intimidating time for you as you navigate the law, rules, regulations and expectations demanded of you as your and your ex work to come to an agreement about your child.

Fortunately there are various steps you can take to make this process a bit less of a mental angst. No, it won’t be easy but if you have a little patience and follow these steps, you’ll make the journey a bit smoother and fluid for you, your ex and most importantly, your child. Here we lay down the law with five dos and don’ts of child custody cases:


Take your time when deciding on a lawyer – If you can afford a lawyer, that’s great, as they will serve as a great guide and counsel for you during this often-lengthy process. Don’t hire just any one, though. Take time to talk to friends who can refer one and interview several before making your final decision. Very often, lawyers offer free initial consultations, during which, you can gauge whether they are best fit to be your advocate throughout the child custody process.

Exude a compromising spirit – Once your case is opened, you’ll have to make a number of decisions with your ex. Don’t have a ‘my way or the highway’ attitude when making these decisions. Instead, exude compromising spirit by listening to your ex’s side and then coming to a mid-point well both parties are relatively happy.

Know your rights – Don’t solely rely on your lawyer or legal counsel for knowledge of the family law process. Read books and articles on the topic so that you can be knowledgeable of your rights. Knowledge is power and you are your own greatest advocate, so it’s best to come to the table with wisdom and confidence.

Abide by temporary orders – Before a final judgment is made regarding custody, the judge may impose temporary orders for visitation, holiday visits, etc. If this occurs, fully abide by it’s stipulations as ignoring them or disobeying them could lead to you being held in contempt of court, which won’t help your side of the case at all.

Document everything – Does you ex show up late for visits? Do they skip out on parenting time? Document everything, including small details, so that you have proof to provide the judge once you make these allegations. Custody cases are a facts-only process.


Interfere with your child’s visitation time with the other parent – Your child comes first, so it’s important to do what’s best for them. That said, having both parents (so long as alcohol, substance, or physical abuse isn’t an issue) in his or her life is certainly best. Despite your feelings toward your ex, allowing your child to spend as much time as possible with his or her other parent is vital for him or her in the long run.

Be closed-minded – Guess what: You don’t know everything. In fact, when you’re a first-timer in family law, you know relatively nothing about the road ahead. So be open to the advice of your lawyer, family and friends!

Let it overburden you – There are going to be many long days ahead as you filter through documents, attend court cases, mediations, classes, and whatever else your case might entail. As a result, it’s easy to become mentally overwhelmed, but before you do, take a few breaths and remind yourself that this too shall pass. Keep your eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel.

Make decisions without consulting with your lawyer or a legal professional – Want to travel out of town for an extended amount of time? Considering moving to a different state? Switching jobs? Unfortunately, you’re not so free to do such without first consulting your lawyer and letting them advise you on any potential ramifications.

Talk negatively about your ex with your child – You might think your ex is the worst person on the planet, but to your kid they are one of the coolest people alive. Don’t take that from your child. Keep all personal opinions to yourself, or share them with friends and family. Your child’s ears are off limits to negative chatter!

Have any more tips about child custody cases? Share them below!

Chris Brown Wins Joint Custody Of Daughter, Will Only Pay $2,500 In Child Support

September 11th, 2015 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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A photo posted by @chrisbrownofficial on

Although some predicted that Chris Brown would have a long and nasty custodial battle ahead of him, it looks like his family court troubles have come to an end—at least for now.

According to TMZ, a Houston judge awarded the singer joint custody of his 1-year-old daughter, Royalty, Friday—and allowed him to take the tot home with him from the courthouse.

As you may recall, not only did Royalty’s mom want to deny the singer custodial rights, she also only wanted to allow him supervised visitation. Reportedly, Guzman believes that Brown’s lifestyle will put their child in harm’s way. A judge, however, saw things differently, so the parents will share 50/50 custody.

Brown also came out victorious in child support proceedings. He was ordered to continue paying $2,500 in child support, which is what he wanted all along; however, Guzman argued in the past that she should be entitled to $15,000 per month.

Lastly, Guzman has been instructed by the judge to refrain from speaking of the case and Brown on social media.

Sherri Shepherd Jokes About Her Surrogacy Scandal On The View

May 29th, 2015 - By Kweli Wright
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The former View co-host made an unforgettable return to the show after bidding farewell last summer.

Sherri Shepherd got a huge welcome from the crowd, but jaws dropped when hot topics turns to babies. The 48-year-old offers to hand over her kids to co-host Raven Symone. “I wanted a baby so bad, I’ve wanted a baby since I was 15,” says Symone.

“Girl, I have one or two you can have of mine,” Sherri quips. “I will give them to you.”

The crowd roared in laughter.

Sherri has a 10-year-old son from a previous relationship, and was legally declared the mother of another child, a 9-month-old baby, she and ex-husband Lamar Salley had via surrogate. The outcome means She is financially responsible for the child with Lamar and she took shots at him during her appearance too.

“I actually fell like, if I had listened to my best friends I wouldn’t be having a million attorneys in my life right now,” she said. “Especially Whoopi Goldberg ’cause she came to my room everyday and said, ‘OK, here’s the red flags,’ and she said, ‘I got your back’. So I love all my best friends.”

Tamika Fuller’s Friend Speaks About Custody War With Ludacris

May 8th, 2015 - By Rich
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Chris “Ludacris” Bridges has sole custody of their child, but Tamika Fuller is not finished yet. The story of the pair has been well told in the media, but that is only one part of the story. Even though a judge denied her a new trial,  Tamika continues to press forward, taking on a GoFund Me account to help her sustain for fight for her daughter Cai Bella. Tamika hasn’t said a lot, but she has admitted that the ordeal has taken its toll on her. “My experience in the Atlanta court system fighting for custody of my daughter has almost destroyed me, but I won’t let that happen,” she said on her GoFundMe page. MommyNoire has an exclusive interview with a friend of Tamika and an associate of Luda named Yvette J. Yvette has been talking to us behind the scenes, but only now has she decided to speak up about the situation, particularly around Tamika’s state of being.

MommyNoire: First, what is Tamika’s state of mind?

Tamika is heartbroken. For the first two weeks after her child was taken away she needed physical help getting out of bed in the morning. She didn’t eat for three days straight. Me and her sister would come over and brush her hair, help her get ready. She was just lifeless.

Imagine going from sleeping with your baby for 15 months to not having her in your bed and knowing you would only see her eight or nine days out of the month for the next 16 or so years.

She experienced a deep depression from the separation and it doesn’t help that Chris won’t let her Facetime or talk with Cai during the week. She’s getting a little better but she only gets to see Cai one day a week and then on alternate weekends. Everytime Cai comes home all she wants to do is hug and cuddle as if she’s been deprived that all week. And every time Tamika drops her off at Chris’ gate she throws a fit. She drops her off at the gate because he doesn’t even want her to come to the house. I think it would be different if she felt Chris was devoted to Cai and she was getting everything she needed over there but that’s not the case.

There were lots of mixed feedback considering Tamika and Ludacris went to war in the media as well as the court systems. On top of that, we don’t often see men, even wealthy powerful ones, get full custody. Is there something we aren’t seeing or was Tamika just overpowered as she strongly suggested in her open letter?

Well first, if Tamika had her choice there would never have been a war in the court system or media. She never wanted to go to court, she was taken there by him. As far as the media there were so many untruths circulating about her that Chris’ camp had released from her being an unfit mother, to receiving 7,000 a month, to being a gold digger, etc. she really just wanted to clear up everything, so I don’t blame her for writing that essay or showing check stubs that Chris only made two payments of $1750, instead of the idea that she was making six figures a year off him. Who wants thousands of people in the world thinking you’re something you’re not? Unless you’ve gone through that you don’t know how frustrating it is. It’s easy to tell her to just go sit down and just let all these hurtful rumors continue to circulate and spread like wildfire, but it’s not happening to you.

As far as Chris winning custody, it was definitely about money and power.

First if you Google Ludacris and Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed, you’ll find at least 30 photos of them together, nobody should have that many pics with the mayor. He hired John Mayoue who was Usher’s lawyer. Everyone in Atlanta knows this lawyer has a 100 percent win record because he donates heavily to the judge’s campaigns and hangs out with them so they always side with him regardless of who has the best case, that’s why he has like a 100k retainer. Ludacris knew going into that trial he was going to win, you could just tell from his smug facial expressions. He seemed to enjoy every minute of tearing Tamika apart. There was so much dirt Tamika knew about Chris and she didn’t bring ANY of it up in court.

He is not remotely more fit to be a parent, the first judge knew it but had to recuse themselves because of conflict of interest with John Mayoue – surprise, surprise. With only three judges presiding over thousands of custody case files he has them all on lock, and at least some are more honorable than others by removing themselves from his cases. Chris slandered Tamika in court – subpoenaed her employment records, asked her for and brought up information going back to the 90s (and these cases are only supposed to focus on what is going on now and are only supposed to be concerned with the last three years of each parents life. That’s how far he had to go to find something.) They harassed her boss, her family, used the fact that she received food stamps briefly even though she qualified for at that time, I mean he went in for the kill, but again nothing that warranted having her child taken away. Where I’m from, judges don’t take primary custody away from mothers unless they’re like locking them in the basement, beating them with electrical cords and depriving them of food. It takes something really serious to tear a child away from their mother.

How was Tamika wronged in your opinion?

Having a court take away your daughter under the sole reasoning that you cut back to working part time after your maternity leave is unprecedented. And the other reasoning being something happened 20 years ago as a teenage mom, the idea that it would even play into this case. Imagine what Chris was doing 20 years ago – he was messing with gay porn stars (allegedly).

Who judges a 40-year-old woman by what she did when she was 18?

And there’s a million kids across the country whose grandparents help raise them, it’s not like she dropped her child off in the alley. Additionally, this case wasn’t about her eldest daughter it was about Cai, period. The judge just demeaned her. You can see on the video that was uploaded to YouTube when the judge said, “well you’re going to have to get a full time job Tamika and I don’t know what that will look like.” What the hell? Tamika has been working full time and overtime for the past two decades, but the judge couldn’t even visualize her having one?

I don’t fault her for not being able to go through with terminating the pregnancy just to please him. And remember this is a man that told Forbes he makes $12 million a year that’s $1 million a month. He is saying he can’t give Tamika $2000 a month? He would rather drag her through the mud and take the baby that he did not want. That’s like his phone bill, dude. I heard he pays $7000 a month to groom his dogs and $5000 to cut his grass.

Does this really say something about the court system and how it pits parents against each other?

Well, obviously custody cases pit parents against each other, they’re both fighting for the child and have to get dirty. The only difference is Tamika was fighting because she genuinely wanted her child.

Ludacris was playing a game. He never wanted that child, ever, from the time he begged her for an abortion to never even calling to ask how Cai was doing until the court trial began.

He just wanted to win and you can see from the messages leaked this has nothing to do with what’s best for Cai, it’s all about control. I mean how many times did he say in those messages: “I have primary custody I make decisions, you don’t.” That was totally about power, nothing else. He gets a kick out of just saying that, like: haha, you had that baby when I didn’t want you to and I took her from you and now if you want her to go to daycare you pay for it. Which is ridiculous because he first ridicules Tamika for not making enough then he rubs it in her face by way of daycare. This man gives hundreds of thousands to charities. Why is his own daughter’s daycare expense an issue for him?

How do you feel about Ludacris?

It’s not so much how I feel about him, it’s how I feel about Cai being with him. There are so many reasons she should have stayed with Tamika. Ludacris is always out of town, his wife won’t even touch the child. It came out in court that Eudoxie (Luda’s wife) actually admitted she would resent the baby.

What is the biggest misconception about Tamika?

There’s so many thanks to Ludacris’ PR team. Let’s see, that’s she’s a gold digger, she doesn’t work, she’s an unfit mother, she abandons children, dates drug kingpins, she thought this baby was a cash cow, I mean the list goes on. He has this lawyer who spends her entire days leaking untruths to the media, she gets a kick out of it and the more conflict between the two the more she gets paid. Like she spends all day on the comment boards trying to start negativity – I remember a few times she forgot to post anonymously. He also hired Your Virtual Assistants, an online media strategy company that has an entire team that monitors the online reputation of celebs, leaves tons of commentary under posts related to the celeb, etc. The idea that they could leak anything and it becomes truth. For instance, this rumor that Tamika’s eldest daughter’s father was a drug dealer. When she was with him he was a mechanic working at Sears trying to be a barber. Years down the road after they had broken up he may have got involved with illegal activities but if you read these comments you would think Tamika was literally hiding his heroin under the mattress.

What other things are you able to tell people that they may not know?

Tamika wakes up at 6 a.m. every morning after usually only getting four hours sleep. She drives an hour to an hour and a half to her job depending on the traffic then comes home to an empty house.

Cai’s bedroom is empty, she can’t even go in there anymore.

And on top of getting her baby taken away she has all these evil commenters and gossip bloggers just crushing her. All I know is there are a thousand razors up there waiting for these people.

 Thank you for your time. Any final words?

If you want to help Tamika please consider donating to her GoFundMe she just filed her paperwork for her 501(c) to help other low income mothers and also needs money for her attorneys fees to try to appeal verdict. She’s steadily saving her money to show the judge she has enough income to support a child. The truth is she needs a new judge because there’s no way this judge tied into Mayoue will ever side in her favor. Even if you Google Judge Doris Downs you’ll see all the links about her corruption (Yvette shared the following links – here and here). Why she’s still a judge is beyond my comprehension. This same judge awarded a meth addict mother custody of her two kids in the trial immediately preceding Tamika’s, which translates to this was obviously a biased ruling….unless you think Tamika cutting back to working part time after her maternity leave is equivalent to using a schedule II controlled substance.

Tamika Fuller, Life Ain’t Fair: Ludacris Just Won

April 10th, 2015 - By Rich
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Before I read the letter, I was sympathetic towards Tamika Fuller.

As a mother, I can’t truly image having your child forcibly taken from you through the legalities of the court system. As natural nurturers, children need their mothers. They also need their fathers, but in a different way. Honestly, I didn’t believe that Ludacris would get sole custody of the child they share, but when he did, I wasn’t surprised.


The case quickly became a public fiasco and became a war. In war, money, strategy and influence seemingly (based on her assertion) trump good parenting. I was fortunate. I was prepared to go through a bloody custody battle and my ex and I decided to co-parent. As a man, I knew that the odds were stacked against me and my lawyer let me know. Others did too. The prevailing notion was that my ex would need to be a strung out drug addict with other registered ailments for me to get sole custody.

I know many of the statistics and others, not so much. One thing I do know is that the Unites States court system is war and in war, there are no rules. The only rule is “WIN.” The game is the game. To this day, people are resentful of Kelis, because she convinced a court that her ex husband, rapper Nas, should pay absorbent amounts of child support. Such is the plight of a rich man.

I really do feel for Tamika Fuller.

I also feel for a friend of mine, who is a dad that has been fighting for his kids for years. We recently caught up again and I realized his struggle was not over. (FYI: before this letter, I planned to bring his plight to light and I will shortly) He told me that, despite his objections, he was only permitted to see his kids once last year – for an hour. I saw the images on Facebook and welled with happiness, only to find out it was a farce. I’ve seen first hand the underhanded, cruel and torturous ways his ex-wife has treated him. We’ve traded some stories, but mine were light by comparison.

This is America and the system in its many incarnations, rips families to shreds. Tamika Fuller and Ludacris laid down together and made a child when he was on “a break” from his main squeeze, true love and new wife, Eudoxie. There was a lot of talk about co-parenting and not-playing-the media game. What if things worked in reverse? There would be no need for an open letter.

In closing, I pray that these two find a healthy balance because it is their child that will ultimately suffer. Do, I feel sorry for Tamika Fuller? Nobody felt anything for me. Nobody felt anything for my homeboy. And, quite frankly, there are scores of women with situations with men that dwarf hers. It seems like she’s now using stats and words like “patriarchy” because they serve her now. She simply lost. That is life. That is the system – winners and losers. We don’t want it like that, but that’s the way it is.

War ain’t fair especially when your soldiers are money-grubbing lawyers and biased judges.

Mine, His, Ours: Is Parental Gatekeeping Child Abuse?

April 6th, 2015 - By Rich
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Parental gatekeeping isn’t a term that you hear too often, but we see examples of it every day.

Let’s say a couple gets divorced. They have three children together. The mother has primary physical custody or placement, but the two have worked out a visitation schedule that gives the father ample time with the kids. Everything is going well for a while, but one day, the parents have a disagreement. To get back at her ex, the mother decides to keep him from seeing the kids; either by telling him flat out, issuing an ultimatum, or  creating an excuse for her to have them for a longer period of time.

When they finally work things out, or when the mother decides to let go of the issue — whichever comes first — she finally lets the father see his kids. But weeks later, there’s another disagreement, and in retaliation, the mom takes even more time away from dad.

See where we’re going here?
Sound familiar?

That, my friends, is parental gatekeeping.

Restrictive gatekeeping is supposed to be used for a child’s protection. For example, if dad is drinking heavily or there are concerns about some kind of neglect or abuse, mom (or whomever the custodial parent is) has the right to restrict contact and/or communication with the kids to keep them from harm. When there’s no suspected endangerment to the children, though, the power is being misused. And according to some, this misuse of parental gatekeeping is considered child abuse.

Consider this…

The first time the kids are kept away from their father, it’s not a huge deal. When they see each other again, they pick up right where they left off and all is right with the world again. But as the number of times they’re kept apart increases, the more the children get used to him not being around, and in some cases, think that it’s because he doesn’t want to see them. They’re hurt. Resentful. And sooner or later, the relationship between the father and the children becomes strained…possibly to a point where it’s irreparable.

It’s not physical abuse, but it’s definitely psychologically damaging; and in many states that’s equivalent to serious physical harm, and the parent could end up losing custody altogether.

In some states, like the state of California, that kind of unreasonable gatekeeping is punishable; especially if it includes a false accusation of substance abuse, neglect or abuse against the non-custodial parent, but it’s not looked at as a form of child abuse. It could, however, result in a change in the custody agreement. California Family Code 3028 allows for compensation when a parent has been “thwarted by the other parent when attempting to exercise custody or visitation rights contemplated by a custody or visitation order, including, but not limited to, an order for joint physical custody, or by a written or oral agreement between the parents.”

Meaning: The mother could end up having to pay the father a minimum of $100 plus his legal fees; share physical custody; or worse, custody could be awarded to the the father if the judge decides that he’s the parent who’s more likely to allow the child “frequent and continuing contact with the noncustodial parent.”

Is this the better option?

Where do you stand on the issue? Should unreasonable parental gatekeeping be considered a form of serious child abuse in every state? Tell us what you think!

Ludacris Gets Primary Custody Of ‘Break Baby’

January 29th, 2015 - By Kweli Wright
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Ludacris just got a big win in family court and it’s got people talking. On Monday, a judge just gave the newly-married rapper and actor primary physical custody of his one-year-old daughter, Cai.

Rumblings have been high recently about Chris “Ludacris” Bridges going after custody of the daughter he had after a brief fling Tamika Fuller–a woman he dated in high school–after his recent engagement and wedding (on the same day) to longtime girlfriend, Eudoxie Mbouguiyengue.

“After review of all the evidence, the testimony of the witnesses, the report of the guardian ad litem, and the claims made throughout this entire case, I am gratified that the judge found me to be the most fit and proper parent to have primary physical custody of our beautiful daughter,” Bridges, 37, said in a statement to PEOPLE.

During the ongoing litigation, Fuller asked for an increase in Bridges’ child support payments (she was receiving $7,000 a month and asking for $15,000) and made claims about Bridges initially being against the pregnancy, allegedly offering her $10,000 to abort the baby. Bridges fought back, saying Fuller’s comments were damaging his reputation and underlining the reasons why he would provide a better environment for Cai.

Bridges is also father to daughter Karma, 13, from a previous relationship.

What do you think about taking a one-year-old child from her mother? Do you think Fuller was an obviously bad parent? 

Dwight Howard Claims 7-Year-Old Son Witnessed Royce Reed Engaging In Sexual Acts With “Numerous Companions”; She Responds

November 20th, 2014 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
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Things are getting uglier by the day between Houston Rockets center Dwight Howard and the mother of his son, Royce Reed. After it came out that Howard was under criminal investigation by Cobb County (Georgia) police for child abuse for whooping his son with a belt, Howard’s lawyers have since been trying to drag Reed’s name and credibility through the mud. Now both parties are fighting for full custody of 7-year-old Braylon. Howard is now accusing Reed of being a bad mother, not only because she took their son to a Hooters for his birthday, but because he claims that their son has witnessed Reed engaging in sexual acts with multiple men on different occasions. Yikes.

According to TMZ, in court documents, Howard claims that Reed has exposed their son to “sexual situations.” A rep for Howard also says that “Dwight isn’t going to engage in back and forth about his son in the media. He only wishes that his mother would do the same and protect the boy instead of exposing him.”

But a source close to Reed is calling bull on Howard’s claims. They say that Reed hasn’t had men running in and out of her home, and has never exposed Braylon to sex. As for that trip to Hooters, they say that there was a party for Braylon at a bounce house earlier in the day, and that Reed and her son stopped at Hooters only to grab some food.  Reed is also defending herself on Instagram, saying the following:

People are so funny. So because I took Braylon to Hooters, I’m a bad mom? Disregard the fact the 1st time he ever went to Hooters was with his father over 2yrs ago. If it was Winghouse would that have been better? Or maybe a game so he can see the dancers (like I used to be) in shorts & half tops & take photos with them. Is that better? Lol Get ur mind out the gutters. Plenty of ppl take their kids to Hooters. To insinuate they are only about sex is again an assumption. It wasn’t bikini night & no they weren’t hanging & parading all over him with their boobs out like a strip club. If u think I’m going to let his attorneys bully me & try to turn this story around like I engage in sex acts around my ONE child THATS COMICAL. I guess allllll of us that take our kids to Hooters, Winghouse, etc are terrible parents. Damn can we just get some wings & crab legs? We like their food. It’s good. Especially the lemon pepper boneless chicken… Just throwing that out there…

Dear Dwight’s Attorneys, Stop trying to turn the world against me by leaking all this stuff to the media. You can’t hide that well. Also, you can only bully and lie on me so much in the media before I respond. I am asking you to refrain from leaking false allegations you have no proof of & never will because they’re all lies. As far as “exposing him” you have 5.5million followers on Twitter & abt 900k on IG in comparison to my 160k. Last I checked your main pic had Bray in it & as I scroll through your post I see PLENTY of photos & videos of him as well so try again (don’t try to delete now, we already have screen captures). Oh & who are alllll these men??? I need names because last I checked I was using batteries and I only have 1 child not 4…or 5… By different ppl. I have an army too and mine aren’t paid they’re genuine. We go by truth WITH PROOF! So…. With that being said, I’d REALLY like to get back to my regularly scheduled Instagram post & handle this in the court…. Thank you I asked nicely…

These accusations are quite messy. What do you think about the public bickering between these two?

5-Year-Old To Testify In Chris Bosh Child Custody Trial?

July 3rd, 2014 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers
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5-Year-Old To Testify In Chris Bosh Child Custody Trial

Source: WENN, IG

Well, apparently the custodial war over Chris Bosh’s 5-year-old daughter, Trinity, is still on. According to The Jasmine Brand, Chris’ ex, Allison Mathis, recently filed documents expressing that she wants little Trinity to take the stand at their ongoing child custody trial and testify on her behalf.

5-Year-Old To Testify In Chris Bosh Child Custody Trial

Source: WENN (Trinity, Chris and his current wife, Adrienne)

As you may recall, Chris and Allison have been back and forth to court battling over custodial rights and child support since Allison was six months pregnant with the kindergartner. In the past, Chris has accused Allison of doing everything in her power to alienate him from Trinity. At the same time, Allison has accused Chris of failing to be a good provider.

In my opinion, it’s a terrible idea to drag a 5-year-old into a courtroom to testify because her parents are unable to sort their issues out. It will be interesting to see whether or not a judge will grant Allison’s request. The ex-lovers have been at it for years now and Trinity is at an age where she is probably beginning to understand what’s going on between her parents. Hopefully, the two can reach some sort of amicable agreement soon for their daughter’s sake.

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise

10 Questions To Ask Before Initiating A Child Custody Case

June 18th, 2014 - By Rich
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No matter when your relationship comes to an end, be it during the first several days of your child’s life, or years on down the line, choosing to battle your ex out over custodial and child support issues in front of a judge, lawyers and a courtroom filled with others who are in your shoes is a tough decision.

Child custody cases are stressful and serious business.

But there are ways to filter through all of the pros and cons floating through your head throughout your decision-making process. There are points of consideration to deliberate over before taking the leap of hiring a lawyer. But before we go through those points, it’s always important to remember one thing: always do what’s best for your child. Whatever decisions you make will directly and greatly affect them, so in all things and in all decision, keep them first. That said, here is a list of 10 questions to ask before initiating a custody case:

1. Did you the relationship between you and your ex end on good terms?
2. Are you and your ex of the same religious background?
3. Do you and your ex agree upon how much he or she should contribute financially to your child?
4. Is your family from the city or state you currently reside in?
5. Do you and your ex agree upon the amount of time he/she gets to spend with your child?
6. Are you and/or your ex in another relationship?
7. Are you ok with your ex taking your child out of town without you?
8. Can you and your ex agree on holiday visitation for both parents?
9. Do you plan on permanently residing in the city and state you currently reside in?
10. Do you and your ex agree on how much time your child spends with his or her grandparents?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, then it’s possible you and your ex can find a resolution without the angst, time suck and cost of the legal process. Figuring out the best method of communication for you and your ex is a great starting point in deciding the needs of your child and making decisions regarding his or her future. Oftentimes, a open communication and a good parenting plan can go a long way for parents who are able to effectually communicate.

If you answered no to the majority of these questions, then hiring a lawyer to handle your legal matters might be a good idea. Raising a child is hard, doing it while battling his or her mother of father is even harder. Every parent has a vision of how is or her child should be raised. And while every parental unit will have conflict over what’s best for their child, because of flared emotions, feelings of betrayal, and a lack of trust that often results from a breakup, it is particularly hard for estranged couples to agree on anything, particularly topics pertaining to their child. Hiring lawyers to advise and guide you through important decisions regarding your child might be the best option as they, along with the help of a judge, are used to dealing with various emotional levels and situations and can often be a great sounding board to help filter through these emotions and get to the facts and heart of the matter.