All Articles Tagged "cheating"
If you want to let the world know that your husband is a stinkin’ cheater, social media just won’t cut it. Why not take it back and take out an ad in the newspaper?
That’s what one woman did in Toledo Bend, Texas. According to the Daily Mail, a scorned wife took out an ad in the classifieds to congratulate her husband and his other woman on the upcoming arrival of their child:
I would like to say congratulations to Shara Cormier and Patrick Brown. They are expecting a baby. Hope you both are really in love and I hope it works out. Always, Patrick’s wife, Timeshia Brown.
According to the Daily Mail, relatives and even co-workers of Cormier were reached out to, but declined to comment on Mrs. Brown’s decision to put Cormier on blast. This super messy story was shared on Reddit after someone saw it in the newspaper and posted about it on Facebook. From the looks of the ad, Timeshia is leaving behind her husband, and just wanted to give him one very interesting parting gift. It could be worse…?
What do you think about the ad? Share your thoughts below.
I’ve been with the father of my twins for four years and I know he is cheating on me. I have the password to unlock his phone and I’ve seen text messages from other women from dating sites. I even got into his Facebook account and saw that he was messaging other women. Then, I checked his
Voicemail and I heard a message from another woman. One day, we got into a fight and he told me that he’d only been with me for the last four years because of our twins. I honestly don’t think he loves me at all; he doesn’t even know I found out all of this stuff.
I even set up a fake profile and he responded to and said he was single. When he used to talk about me to other people at a class he would call me his “baby mother,” not “girlfriend.” Over Facebook, he asked a woman in the class if he can gown down on her. Now, again, he doesn’t know I know all of this. I broke up with him and told him he was free to sleep with whomever, but now he keeps trying to sleep with me! He also denies cheating altogether. What do I do with this liar?
Read Dr. Sherry’s response at Essence.com
Mary Mary has been through a lot in the past year. And as they’re prepping for their third season of their hit eponymous WE TV series, they spoke to JET Magazine about some of the toughest challenges they’ve ever had to face.
Erica explained how fans will get to see how they reacted to all of it. ““You see our faith shine, but it was not easy at all– and it won’t look easy watching it,” said Erica about the series. “A lot of people will see themselves. There was so much damage and yet still so much work to be done. I learned that every wound doesn’t have to leave a scar that remains for the rest of your life.”
While they were smiling and spreading the gospel through song for their fans, behind closed doors, Tina was dealing with Teddy’s infidelity, Erica ruptured her vocal chords just as she’s breaking out into her own solo career, their relationship with manager Mitchell is on the rocks and the entire Campbell family is coping with the death of their father.
Referencing her personal relationship with Teddy, Tina said, “I still believe in God and love. I will not live in the horrible space of ‘I’m going to fix him’ or ‘I hate men and marriage.’ You do that for a moment and realize it doesn’t undo anything.”
Erica spoke about how she supported her sister during this trying time saying, “I’ve always been her protector. We are ride or die for each other. When she hurts. I hurt.”
Tina’s strategy in getting through all of this is learning to let go of the reigns a little bit. “I’ve tried to have all the answers and my life became filled with chaos and anxiety. So now I don’t go overboard thinking I must had things right all the time.”
The ladies, who are working solo now, each have different projects. Tina is working on a book of devotionals and Erica’s solo album is set to be released on March 25.
Mary Mary’s issue of Jet will hit newsstands, Monday, February 17th.
“Mary Mary” returns to WE TV on February 27th.
Earlier this week, we asked ya’ll if it seemed like there was trouble in paradise for T.I. and Tiny based on the way he tried to scold her, like a child, for posting pictures of her behind on Instagram. And let’s not forget the rumors from Grammy weekend about this big blow up the two had and a possible love child. Just all around mess.
And the plot thickens ladies and gentlemen. Tiny posted a picture on Instagram and someone wrote this message as a response.
“My homegirl f*cking Tip…this sh*t hilarious…”eats popcorn.”
Well… Tiny has quite a bit of hood in her. So, she didn’t let this ride…at all.
Then, seeing that foolishness was being acknowledged, another chick stepped in with her two cents.
You take a break at work when you need a latte. You take a break while working out to catch your breath and take a swig of Powerade. You might even need a break from your kids when you feel like it’s either a criminal record and jail time or closing your door for 10 minutes so you can locate your maternal instincts. But relationship breaks I don’t understand. Taking a break from your boyfriend is like inviting miscommunication and infidelity into your relationship.
Long before Dwyane Wade and Ludacris were creating love-children outside of their long-term relationships, Ross from Friends was the reigning king of “We were on a break!” If his relationship with Rachel serves as any kind of warning to women, it should be that men don’t interpret breaks the same way we do. To most men, a break equals a break up with perks. It’s a fall back from the relationship itself, which indicates that there will be no more regular sex, daily phone calls and other things that serve as proof that you’re committed to someone. Most men aren’t going to freely admit, “I’m lonely and insecure. I got used to having someone next to me every night and you just up and cut that off. In the meantime I’ll substitute you with someone else.” It’s not necessarily that they’re able to move on quickly, they’re just great at making it appear that way. Naturally, it’s easier for men to compartmentalize their emotions; to them you’re either together or you aren’t. When you start playing the “it’s complicated” game, it gets easily misconstrued and that’s when feelings gets hurt. It takes a lot of maturity to successfully navigate a break and make the most of it to improve a relationship. It’s a level of maturity that most people don’t possess.
You have to be clear about exactly what the break means and what you hope to accomplish with it. Do you get to see other people? Do you get to sex other people? What exactly can occur in this pseudo-single lifestyle? This is where breaks get pointless to me. It’s one thing to need a couple of days to cool off, but if you think you’re trying to prove a point by putting a man’s pen*s on punishment for a month, you’re probably playing yourself.
Long before Ross was creating catch phrases, I had a best friend in high school who damn near invented “the break”. After sleeping with a guy who then turned clingy, she promptly told him they should fall back and go back to being friends for a while and then work their way up. I remember thinking of how pointless (good game, but pointless) that was then and I still feel the same way now. What the hell is the point of taking a break and not just going your separate ways? I’ve been in a relationship for more than 7 years now and I can testify that sometimes turning off your cell phone, retreating to your own place and bashing your man with your best friends (or in a good journal) does a relationship good. There’s nothing wrong with taking a few days to calm yourself down so you can focus on why you fell for your partner in the first place. But taking weeks or months to push re-occurring problems in your relationship to the back burner does nothing but make them eventually boil over. If you and your partner can’t have a clear conversation about conflicts in the relationship, taking a break does nothing but put a Band-Aid on it.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. There are too many women that believe being in a relationship means being up under your partner 24/7. When you start to dance on one another’s nerves (which inevitably happens) and folks start taking each other for granted, you then feel like a “break” is needed. In all actuality, all you ever needed was a healthy balance of alone time invested into your separate lives.
Still, there will be couples who think that breaks are beneficial. Fine, but then there is this whole recklessness of carelessly creating kids and bringing them into situations that grown people couldn’t even get together. It’s immature, cowardly and unfair to everyone involved. I mean, how much can you possibly care for someone if you didn’t have sense enough to use a condom correctly? I don’t know all the details of these celebrities’ indiscretions, but it appears to be messy. Relationships can be as messy as you want them to be without you pro-creating and adding more issues to the pile.
At their best, breaks allow a couple to realize how special what they have really is, but more often than not, couples use them to avoid problems that they should be working on or to soften the blow of the inevitable. Choose your breaks wisely, because too many of them or even just one taken at the wrong time and without clear communication of what is expected just might make the whole thing fall apart.
Toya Sharee is a community health educator and parenting education coordinator who has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.
I am always fascinated by the dynamics around relationships especially romantic ones. I have had my share of scandals and downright craziness and through it all I tried to make the best decisions and remain true to myself regardless of the consequences. But looking back I am not sure if it really was the best idea to come clean about EVERYTHING, I wonder if maybe it pays to keep certain facts to yourself because in the long run, you have to ask yourself are you trying to make yourself feel better or are you being completely honest in order to benefit your partner?
I have a friend who was stuck in a relationship that was going nowhere. She and her boyfriend had been together for 5 years and it was becoming clear to her and the rest of us that they were not heading down the aisle anytime soon, despite the numerous times they had discussed the prospect. She became restless and indulged in a series of affairs. She knew that her boyfriend loved her more than she loved him and most likely was being faithful and respectful of their relationship. She took advantage of that and in the end; she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame. She turned to her friends for advice, she desperately wanted to come clean and confess her sins but she wasn’t sure if her already fragile relationship could survive the betrayal. The consensus was that she seemed to be unfulfilled and her affairs were demonstrative of that fact, so perhaps coming clean would be her way out. She listened to what we had to say, but we all knew that she had already made up her mind even before she sought our counsel. She did divulge all her wrongdoings and her boyfriend was understandably devastated. He had really loved her and despite their challenges, he would have tried to make things work if she had been willing but she was ready to get on with her life without him.
I am friendly with her ex-boyfriend and it was difficult to see him agonizing over the fact that his ex-girlfriend had cheated on him multiple times. It forced me to really step back and ponder whether or not he would have been better off not knowing all the details. Maybe he would have had easier time just accepting the fact that my friend wanted an amicable break up.
When I broke up with my boyfriend a year and a half ago, I had cheated on him twice but I never told him. We had dated for about two years, and even though it wasn’t love at first sight, I grew to love and respect him. But after about a year, my feelings changed and I became susceptible to guys who were eager to give me what I was missing in my relationship. After the first affair, it was easier to jump into the next one but after that ended, I realized that it was time to stop living a lie and come clean. We both talked and acknowledged that it was time to be honest about the fact that we were not invested and ready to move on.
I felt a huge sense of relief that we were both on the same page, but most importantly I was happy that were able to break up and still be friendly without the ugliness of my affairs hanging over us. I just didn’t see the need to torture someone I cared about with needless information.
Do you think that honest is the best policy? I think that it is if you are trying to save your relationship and you truly want to make it work despite the mistakes that have been made. But if you are not willing to stick it out, what’s the point?
Watching the mess that Ms. Joyce was making of her own daughter’s life on The Real Housewives of Atlanta AND the way in which Kandi cowered instead of putting her mother in her place makes me wonder how many of us deal or have dealt with the same type of issue. Even watching poor Tahiry cut off the ever-manipulative Joe Budden (but not really) on Love and Hip Hop New York reminds me of the fact that many of us at different points in our lives have suffered way more at the hands of meddlesome, untrustworthy, harmful relationships than we’ve ever needed to. It makes me wonder how many of us would inadvertently and purposely carry these same poor relationship patterns into the new year. In the past I have felt the sting of tears in my eyes after discovering that friends really could not be happy for me, no matter what good things came my way. I’ve endured countless talks with friends about why this man or that man I was interested in was no good for me when, in reality, some of these men were great catches. I mean GREAT. I’ve also battled with letting go of romantic relationships that clearly were dragging me down and not lifting me up.
Reflecting on my default of putting up with such toxicity in relationships has made me wonder, why did I do it? What am I trying to accomplish by allowing sisters or friends or boyfriends or my mother to infuse my life with negativity? Why do I feel I must endure it?
Loyalty? Respect? How much loyalty is a significant other showing me when they cheat or treat me unfairly? How much loyalty is a friend showing me by deciding to hate every good thing that happens in my life? How much respect is a sister or mother showing me when they meddle so terribly in my personal affairs and destroy my relationships?
Shouldn’t loyalty and respect be reciprocated? Shouldn’t I have enough respect for and loyalty to myself to check the people in my life when they are behaving negatively towards me? Loyalty to someone doesn’t mean that I silently take abuse or ill-treatment. Respect doesn’t mean that I must go along with everything someone says or does.
With the new year here, I have a new resolve to feed the positive aspects of my relationships and to starve the negative. This includes loving those who pour affection and encouragement into my life and setting specific and fortified boundaries with those who drain and exhaust me. I have accepted that this does not mean I love or appreciate any one person over another. It simply means I choose to live my best life. Living my best life is only possible when I take responsibility in and for my relationships.
I’m taking self-love and self-care into the new year with me. What doesn’t elevate, needs to be stopped. What doesn’t promote growth and happiness will not be a part of my 2014. I deserve to be as stress-free as possible. I deserve to enjoy life and to be surrounded by those who genuinely enjoy it as well. I have a say in how I’ll be treated. I have a say in how my new year will progress. And I say, positivity over everything.
Let’s just get right into it, shall we? Relationship adviser Tionna Smalls recently made another appearance on the talk show “Bethenny,” and during a heated battle of the sexes debate on whether men can be monogamous, she dropped this gem:
“Men are going to cheat. If you put it in your mind that a man is not going to cheat you’re fooling yourself — especially a man with money. I’m not saying you have to accept it, but you have to respect it. That’s number one. Number two, you better hope your man is just humping another chick and not falling in love mentally with another chick.”
I can already guestimate one of the first questions you have, which is who is this chick, so let me go ahead and lay out her resume. Tionna was the relationship coach tasked with helping TLC member Chilli find love on the VH1 reality show, “What Chilli Wants.” She also starred on MTV’s “Girl, Get Your Mind Right!” and is currently the host of a new online radio show titled, “Tionna Talks.”
Now why should you care? That I can’t answer for you, other than to ask whether you believe Tionna’s conviction? Men and cheating tend to go hand-in-hand in a lot of women’s minds, and you can tell by the passion with which Tionna states her case in the video below that she clearly is a strong believer in the doctrine of the male philanderer. But while all men have the capacity to cheat — and likely have at least once or twice in the past — I’m not completely certain a woman is fooling herself is she believes the man who made a commitment to her won’t cheat on her. But if that is the case, Tionna is right that us ladies don’t have to accept it, but we also don’t have to respect it either. There’s a simple thing all men who are incapable of being monogamous can do to make everyone’s lives easier and that is stay single. That’s about the only choice that’s respectable when it comes to this topic. But that’s just my personal belief.
Check out Tionna in the video clip below and tell us what you think. Are all men going to cheat eventually?
It’s hard to think about and even fathom that a guy you like, who you have been spending time would, could, and is juggling several different women at once. No one wants to believe that they’re the other woman or one of many women, but sometimes we fall into a player’s trap. Here are 14 signs that you’re not the only woman, and if this is truly the case, don’t think twice about walking away from this man.
No one else will tell them, so I’ll tell them that they are cowards. Cut and dry. Plain and simple. But I think they’re already hip to that, right? It’s the reason they lash out when their significant other comes to them with the “What are we (doing)?” conversations. It’s the reason they are in a relationship but act single as often as they can. It’s the reason they feel it’s fine to keep in constant, inappropriate contact with their ex(es). They are cowards with egos and no vision.
Could they stick around and continue to make their partner’s life miserable by not fully committing and stringing them along while they sit back and take it? Absolutely! But why though?
We skate from one ‘relationship’ to the next, never really doing the work it takes to love someone else because we are afraid and selfish and in short supply of vision/purpose. That’s the long and short of it. The saddest part is that most of us who string others along emotionally within relationships see no reason why to stop.
“She/He is still here, aren’t they? If they really wanted to leave, they could have BEEN left me.
We blame them for loving us fervently, and when they do, some of us also treat these significant others like they’re the most annoying people in the world. Sick, right? We’re unsure of exactly what we want but we’re too afraid of committing to the one who genuinely wants us, so we make statements like the one above to absolve ourselves of any guilt. Instead of separating from that person and working on ourselves, we project the blame onto them for sticking around. “Shame on you for loving me. Leave me, then.”
We fail to realize that we further strip ourselves of our power to change when we behave this way. I should know.
My ex tried his hardest to keep in close, inappropriate contact with me for a while. He has a girlfriend who is thinking about marriage, and he knows this, but marriage is the furthest thing from his mind. So what would he rather do? Call and share with ME every major change that has happened in his life. For a while there, he would text me at all hours of the night. He called ME to complain about his girlfriend. We all have an ex like that, yes? And, as quiet as we keep it, we’re that ex sometimes.
For a while, I’ll admit that I allowed it. It was only phone calls and text messages. I liked the attention. I was glad that it seemed that he realized what he missed out on with me. But then it got so unreservedly annoying and troubling. I thought it through – something I had refused to do before. His girlfriend, this poor woman, was doing all of the things I used to do when I was with him. Staying, trying to convince him of how much she loves him. She’s sitting by the phone waiting for him to call her and here he was calling me. She has no idea that she is the furthest thing from his mind while she’s totally committed to him. Will all that finally in mind, I cut contact. There was no way I would continue to be an accomplice to such blatant disrespect. He is holding her chance for reciprocity hostage by selling her a dream that more than likely he will never deliver. It’s unfair, but of course, it’s not uncommon.
So often our fear of being alone and working on ourselves is allowed to grow so much bigger than our desire to do right by those who care for us the most. It takes strength and uprightness to make that kind of choice as opposed to holding our relationships and those we claim to care about in limbo. The question always is: Are we strong enough individuals to make that choice?
La Truly is a writer, college professor and natural hair and holistic lifestyle enthusiast. She mixes her interest in social and cultural issues with her life experiences to encourage thought, discussion and positive change among young women. Follow her on Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly.