All Articles Tagged "Changes"

Leaving The Nest – 9 Signs It’s Time To Move Out of Your Parents’ House!

December 2nd, 2012 - By Brooke Dean
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If you’re lucky enough to be one of those “kids” who has a great relationship with his/her parents, lives at home and is stacking money to save for that dream home, then you definitely have the life! However, for most of us, being an adult and living at home doesn’t always make for an ideal living situation. Sure, there are situations were living at home with mom and dad is beneficial, even necessary. But if you’re over 25 years old and still sleeping in a twin size bed wondering what you’re doing with your life, here are some signs it’s time to raise up out of your parents’ house and find your own spot.


  1. You’re There For THEM

Some people stay at home longer than they want to because their parents expect them to stay there – either to keep them company or until they get married. Maybe this is something parents expect more from their daughters than their sons, but if you find that you’re there to help your parents deal with the “empty nest syndrome” rather than living on your own, it’s time to sit them down and have a talk. Explain to your parents that just because you’re moving out, it doesn’t mean you’ll never come around to check on them or that you’re going to become a heathen turning your studio apartment into a den of sin (even if that is what you’re planning on doing with it). While it’s admirable that your parents want you to stay home until you get married, moving from your parents’ house to your husband’s house might not be what you had in mind. Your parents are grown and while they may miss you, they’ll get over it if you move out. They should want you to be independent, not rely on them for the rest of your life.


2. You Come Home Late – Often

If you’re moving back home after college graduation, it’s probably safe to say that you still like to party and hang out like you did back on campus. This means you’re used to coming home when you feel like it because there were no parents at home giving you a curfew. But now when you come home, you trip the alarm and wake up everyone in the house – and that’s if your parents aren’t already up waiting for you. Some of you may have folks that respect the fact that you’re no longer a child and have no problem with you coming home at all hours of the night. But if your parents think you’re being disrespectful by stumbling in at 3am every night, then you have to respect their house and find a place of your own so that you’re not disturbing anyone else.


3. You’re the Babysitter

If you have a younger sibling who requires a babysitter, consider yourself that babysitter. Your parents will expect you to watch him or her – for free – and without complaint, which could dampen your plans on a Friday night. If you live at home, you’re the live-in nanny. But if you lived say, 30 minutes away, you might be able to weasel out of watching your younger sister because you can’t get there in time because of…traffic. Or it could be because you’re not home or because you’re grown, pay your own rent and are out doing what YOU want to do.


4. The House is Crowded

Even if your parents don’t make you watch your younger siblings, there’s still a chance there’s always a house full with other family members. You can’t even invite your friends over because there’s no place for them to sit – so you’re all packed in the basement or the backyard because your house is too small to fit all these people. If you had your own place, you could spread out a little bit and relax. Even if you lived in a studio, it would be YOUR space – and no one has to be there but you.


5. No Room For Your Stuff

Not only is it difficult to find space for you and your friends to hang out, you may not also have room for your personal things, especially if you’re sharing a room with someone. After 4 years of college, I managed to accumulate things and none of it fit into my mom’s house when I moved back home. Adults tend to buy things – electronics, clothes, shoes…stuff, and it may not fit into your room or parents’ basement. They also may not want you to clutter their home with your things and use it for storage so you’re limited to buying what fits in the confines of the four walls of your bedroom. If you find yourself longing for a new bedroom set, or a huge flat screen TV, then you should find your own apartment to put it in.


6. No Privacy

If you suffer from any of the issues already mentioned, it is safe to say you probably have no room for privacy either. If you start dating someone, bringing them back to your “room” for some action probably isn’t so hot – not with mom and dad roaming around the house freely. So sex is pretty much out of the question unless you get busy at a hotel or the back seat of your car. You can’t even have a conversation on the phone without your younger brother ear hustling and you basically feel trapped because there’s nowhere to go to have a little “me” time. If this is you and you have a decent job, then you should have moved out yesterday.


7. Rules

Depending on how old-school your folks are, living at home means following their rules. Whether this means coming in at a certain hour, not being able to stay out over-night, doing chores or anything else your parents require you to do while living under their roof, if their rules don’t sit well with you, then you may need to consider getting 2 or 3 jobs so that you can move out and save your sanity. After all, it istheir house and if you’re not paying rent, you really can’t tell them “no,” can you? Well, maybe you can, but they’d probably tell your grown behind to move out and pay your own rent and follow your own rules. Can’t say that I blame them. Get your own spot.


8. You’re a Slob

Speaking of chores, if you’re a slob, then living at home with you is probably a nightmare. While I’d hope that one would be clean and neat even while living on his own, you don’t HAVE to wash dishes in your own place if you don’t want to. When you live alone, you don’t have to do laundry for a month if you don’t feel like it, and you can leave your clothes all over the place and no one can say boo about it. Again, I’m not saying being a slob is cute, but if you’re tired of your mom nagging you to pick up your socks or to move your shoes out of her way, then get your own place and be lazy and sloppy to your heart’s content. Just make sure to clean up before company comes over.


9. You’re 30+ Years Old

Enough said. At some point, you just have to become an adult and know what it’s like to be responsible for yourself. This means paying rent or a mortgage. Again, if you live in an old-fashioned household where the expectation is to stay at home until you’re married, and you’re cool with that, then rock out. Or maybe you have the coolest parents on the planet where living at home is actually a pleasurable experience. But living on your own can also teach you to be more responsible, establish credit and can allow you to have a certain level of freedom that you can enjoy before you think about setting down with a family of your own (if that’s what you’d like). If you’re living at home to save money or because you need to take care of an ailing parent, the recession hit you hard or any other reason that has nothing to do with you simply being a leach – then so be it. But if any of the previous scenarios has you pulling your hair out, then begin your search for a new pad and sign a lease. It’s time.

Pick Three: Who Should Be Kicked Off Basketball Wives?

June 12th, 2012 - By Alissa Henry
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If you watch VH1’s  Basketball Wives reunion episodes, it may be the last time you see at least three of the ‘wives’.

If not, executive producer Shaunie O’Neal says she is out.

She told that she doesn’t want to go back and “has no problem walking away from the franchise.”

From Insider:

Asked when it’s time to say when, Shaunie replies, “I say when right before it’s time to sign on the dotted line … [at the] end of summer.” She adds, “I won’t take responsibility for what it has turned into.”

Shaunie says she is worried about getting physically hurt, and sick of the drama and of taking the blame, as she’s been widely criticized for not doing enough to stop the outrageous behavior.

“It’s always going to be drama because it’s women together,” says Shaunie, “but I think the level of where it’s going is out of control and I do believe that certain ladies realize that and are taking responsibility.”

Still, the show’s executive producer tells Kevin exclusively that changes need to be made to the cast, and that means ejecting a few from “the game.”

“Three [from Miami],” says Shaunie. “Immediately. No questions asked. Not anything personal, just not where I’m trying to go. Not on the same page. … If I would like this franchise to keep going, yeah, three would have to go.”

Not sure where Shaunie is “trying to go” with Basketball Wives but it seems this show has been there and back. Good luck trying to tone it down! Doesn’t seem fair to pin the blame for this chaotic show solely on the cast members when, clearly, producers and editors are stirring up the drama we see on screen. But, then again, I guess Shaunie would know better than anyone who is at fault.

So which three do you think it will be? Do you agree that putting women together automatically means there will be “drama” as Shaunie says?

Alissa Henry is a freelance writer in Columbus, OH. Follow her on Twitter @AlissaInPink or check out her blog: This Cannot Be My Life. 

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Switching Up Your Look While Keeping Your Hair Healthy

May 22nd, 2012 - By Jouelzy
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Healthy hair is always the way to go. However, sometimes women occasionally sacrifice the health of their hair for style. But there’s ways to achieve stylish hair dos without doing hair don’ts and comprising your healthy hair. Here’s some do’s and don’ts of achieving the following great styles and looks while maintaining healthy hair.

Color me Blonde
Coloring your hair can be a great way to switch up your look and add some spice. But it can also be one of the most damaging style choices, especially if you’re trying to go much lighter than your natural hair color. Whether relaxed or natural, using permanent color to dye your hair can be a treacherous deed, so why not try an alternative natural dye? Henna is a great option, as you can condition your hair while coloring. LUSH Cosmetics offers a great line of premixed natural henna blocks that are easy to mix down and are infused with cocoa butter and other natural moisturizing oils. If you want to go black, brown, blue-black or red, henna is an easy option. For lighter colors, you might have to do several henna treatments to gradually lighten your hair.

Braids and weaves are instant style changers and can also help to protect your hair and even help it grow, but you have to be very careful with how you install your styles. Protect your edges! Try to keep minimal tension on your edges. If you are getting a weave, be careful with the braid pattern and how tight the braids are. Remember that hair is being sewn on top of the braids, which is going to further tighten and pull your hair. Too much tension can result in severe hair loss and partial baldness. Central Centrifugal Cicatricial Alopecia (CCCA) is a real disease that leads to baldness and scarring and can be caused by poorly installed weaves/braids (cc: Naomi Campbell). If you are going to a hair salon where they blow dry your hair before braiding, either ask to have your hair blow dried on low heat or do it yourself before arriving at the salon. This is especially true for naturals with a kinkier and more fragile hair type. Before heading to the braid shop, stretch your hair and then gently blow-dry your hair damp with a heat protectant to minimize breakage.

Going Straight
Want to turn your curly coils or wavy hair to straight? Rather than going straight for the blow dryer and flat iron, try a method that doesn’t require direct heat such as roller setting your hair. There’s all these fancy flat irons that promise to protect your hair with new technology, but ceramic, nano tourmaline, whatever, is still direct heat, and if done too frequently or at too high of a temperature, it can damage your hair. If you’re relaxed, roller setting is great because it’s easy to achieve and leaves you with full body hair. Siting under a hair dryer set at mid-temperature is a healthy option for your hair as opposed to reaching for a flat iron. If you have a kinkier natural hair texture, shrinkage is real and many combat that by regularly blow-drying their hair out (blow out). Unfortunately, that causes excessive breakage and halts hair growth. Trying no heat methods of stretching your hair, such as braiding or simply washing your hair in braids can work wonders and be good alternatives to constantly blow-drying your hair.

Jouelzy offers tutorials on all aspects of Black hair care via her YouTube channel, focusing on women with tight budgets. You can also find her daily hair tips and inspirations on Facebook.

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8 Signs That You’ve Outgrown Your Friends

June 8th, 2011 - By Victoria Uwumarogie
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As nice as it is to have friends, and lots of them, the older you get, the more likely the number of girlfriends you have will decrease substantially. As one of my good friends pointed out, the older you get, the less willing you are to hold onto so-called friendships that breed drama or offer you nothing. But a lot of the time, you still go out of your way to salvage messy relationships for a variety of reasons: you’ve known the individual for a long time, they’ve got issues, they have good intentions, and so on and so forth, when in reality, you need to move forward for sanity’s sake. Some people naturally grow apart, and other friendships just straight up fall apart, either way, you need to know when to let go. Here are some signs to let you know when it might be time to let that friendship you’re single-handedly carrying like baggage run its course. And if any of this sounds like things you do, you might want to check yourself.

Why Today’s Leaders Must Surf, Not Sail

June 15th, 2010 - By TheEditor
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(Black Enterprise) — Change happens. And once upon a time, all that was expected of business leaders was to “manage” it: prevent it or minimize its impact, make the proper adjustments, and establish a new status quo as soon as possible—until it happens again. And until very recently, this was enough. In fact, the ability to effectively manage change was the mark of a visionary entrepreneur or executive.

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Yelp Makes Changes in Response to Small Business Owners

April 7th, 2010 - By TheEditor
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( — Small business owners have been loud and vocal in their criticism of Yelp and its reader reviews. On Tuesday, Yelp will make two significant changes to its pages to address those  complaints.

On Yelp, where users rank and review local businesses, readers will now be able to click on a link to see reviews that Yelp filtered out, and advertisers on Yelp will no longer be able to post their favorite review at the top of the page.

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Changes to your retirement plan are coming

February 2nd, 2010 - By TheEditor
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