Shutterstock

Online dating has become the way of the world when it comes to finding love in a non-conventional way and with the increase of dating websites, it’s no surprise that so many people participate in this new romance trend nowadays. Though online dating has become the new norm, it really isn’t for everyone. Here are 14 signs that the online route just isn’t quite right for you.

Source: Hudsonequipment.ca

It’s 2:00 in the afternoon and since I woke up this morning I’ve managed to text two people, e-mail six, read over thirty tweets and Facebook statuses, visit four blogs but actually interact with not a single living, breathing being but my Pitbull Boxer mix.

If you’re like me your iPhone may as well be an extension of one of your limbs. (Well actually I’m still Team Blackberry, but you get my drift.) There’s very little many of us do without consulting our cell phone first.  They keep us company and from looking like a complete social outcast when we are in an unfamiliar situation; you can only be so awkward when you are too busy being updated by @Uberfacts, right? (I don’t know about you but I feel a little bit cooler since learning that you are more likely to be killed by a vending machine than you are to hit the Mega Millions jackpot.)  Because of cell phones instead of actually doing paperwork at my job, I can first text my bestie and repeatedly tell her how much I am not looking forward to all of the paperwork I have to do.  And let’s not forget the greatest gift that Apple technology has offered mankind: I can share every thought that goes through my head with millions of strangers as well as post pictures of the incredibly “savory” meal I am about to eat while thinking it, only to realize the next day what I thought sounded so profound was actually kind of dumb and I actually meant nauseating when I take a look at the savory meal I posted.

I’m being sarcastic obviously, but the truth is technology has “conveniently” given us more time and opportunities to ruin perfectly good relationships, as if we weren’t doing a great enough job before the world was blessed with Apple products.  We’re far past butt dials and accidentally texting the person you’re talking smack about.  People are single handedly ruining their relationships (and careers) thanks to screen grabs, sub-tweeting and “leaked” pics.  I confess there are times when I can’t imagine what I did before the people closest to me were a mere ten digits away at any given time.  What did people do when they caught flat tires in the middle of the interstate late at night before cell phone towers?  And beyond safety, I appreciate that social networking sites give me the perfect amount of connection I want to have to people in high school that weren’t in my circle, but I still care enough about to congratulate them on their first born.  But I’d be lying if I didn’t say social in-the-flesh interaction hasn’t taken a severe hit from the digital world.  At their worst, cell phones have made the otherwise shy into complete hermits who confuse stalking with flirting.

If any of the following apply to you, your cell phone could be ruining your relationship, one text at a time:

Credit: Shutterstock

From Single Black Male

Yes.

Last week, a number of people were debating if they would ever delete Twitter for their significant other. Some people, including yours truly, didn’t think it was that big of an issue. Others vowed passionately that they would never delete their Twitter for anyone, for any reason. Their main point of contention was that anyone that would ask you to delete your Twitter/Facebook or any other social media site of choice is insecure, not worthy of companionship, and therefore, their request should not be entertained. Apparently, there is no justifiable reason for an adult to ask another adult to delete his or her Twitter/Facebook. I find this line of thinking interesting for a variety of reasons, but I’ll only cover three today.

Read more at SingleBlackMale.org.

Source: MTV

Six months ago, most of us had no idea what it meant to be “Catfished;” but in light of the hit MTV show and the recent scandal with Notre Dame’s Manti Te’o, it’s become a household term. Though it would seem that by now, people would be aware of when they’re being duped, all of these recent occurrences prove otherwise. So in the instance that you find yourself in an online relationship or long distance relationship and you’ve never seen this individual in person, here are some signs that you might be the latest victim in a Catfish scandal.

AP Photo/Henny Ray Abrams

If you have seen the MTV show Catfish, I’m sure you’ve seen a whole new level of ratchet that is blowing everybody’s mind and has them tuning in every Monday. I’m a bit skeptical about whether or not the show is real, because too many people come out the boonies on that show looking like “Who Shot John” claiming they pretended to be handsome men and gorgeous women online to seek revenge or get attention. And how do you talk to someone for years and never FaceTime, Skype or anything!? A lot of the time, the stories are a little fishy to me…but I still find myself sucked in.

But that kind of online dating deception could really be happening in everyday life, because a storm of controversy has just surrounded Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o. The most decorated college football player of all time, Te’o had spent most of his senior year on the field making major moves, but also talking about his girlfriend, Stanford student Lennay Kekua. I’m sure you’re wondering why anyone would care about a college athlete’s love life, but this love story of his was one of the most complex and saddest stories ever told. According to Forbes, in September of last year, his girlfriend was believed to have died from leukemia, and Te’o even told reporters that before she succumbed to leukemia, Kekua told him that she had been in a damn near fatal car accident, the leukemia being found as she was treated for her accident injuries. What awful things to go through at one time, huh? And to make things worse, his grandmother had actually passed away hours before Kekua was believed to have died.

Well, the sadness surrounding his personal life spilled over into his athletic endeavors, as media was reporting the story of Te’o and his girlfriend and pushing it like hotcakes. Kekua had even allegedly told him NOT to come to her funeral if it was the same day as one of his precious games, because she’d rather he go out there and play for her. “Babe, if anything happens to me, you promise that you’ll stay there and you’ll play and you’ll honor me through the way you play.” This was an alleged direct quote from the young woman, which was given to CBS News. Coincidentally, his team was in the process of playing to get to the BCS National Championship Game. With the national media serving all these stories about this young man’s strength and perseverance through so much, he became beloved nationally by a great deal of college football fans, and went on to be a runner-up for the Heisman trophy, an award many were hoping he would win.

But just yesterday, it came to light that Lennay Kekua, her heartbreaking car accident, her sad death due to leukemia and her life in general, was fake. Fake as hell at that. Turns out, girlfriend, who was “the love of his life,” never existed. A family friend of the player, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, had concocted the woman and a profile to communicate with Te’o. The images people were seeing were actually those of a friend of Tuiasosopo who claimed she didn’t know Te’o, and was horrified that her photo was being passed off has her.

It was allegedly a prank that blew out of control because of Te’o's rising notoriety. And while the player and officials at the school are now saying that he was Catfished and bamboozled, some are wondering if he may have been in on the whole thing. Whether he was in on it from the beginning we don’t know yet, but according to Forbes, it seems that he “found out” about the scam by late December, and still decided to keep this information on the hush. According to Forbes, Te’o didn’t want the negative attention on him or his team before their big appearance in the BCS National Championship game on January 7. But the site, Deadspin, did some snooping and exposed the hoax of their relationship to the world last night. Now, Notre Dame officials and even Te’o are on the defensive, but they stand by the story that Te’o didn’t know that the girl didn’t exist, even though media reports from last year have his father on record saying that they had even met the girl before. Te’o put out a statement today saying, “To realize that I was the victim of what was apparently someone’s sick joke and constant lies was, and is, painful and humiliating.”

If he was duped by a jealous family friend trying to pull a prank, is that not just one of the most hateful things a person can do? But honestly, I just have the feeling that Te’o knew more than he wants us to believe. And is it not interesting to anyone else that a nationally known collegiate football star was carrying on an online relationship? Seriously? Was I the only one who went to school with popular athletes who stereotyped it up by messing around with all the thirsty freshman girls? But hey, whatever works. No matter what the truth is, this is some soap opera mess that we can’t believe. I’m sure Nev Schulman is somewhere wishing he could have blew the lid off of this one for MTV…Thoughts?

Source: shutterstock

From Essence

Over half of all singles in the United States have used an online dating site before. Their use accounts for one out of every five relationships and one out of every six marriages. Given this compelling data, you would think most people would be singing praises of online dating websites, but this isn’t the case. I hear daily complaints, jokes, and even lawsuits about the crappiness of the “online dating experience.” I find most disgruntled users don’t have a plan. They simply get online and hope. But hope is not a strategy. If you want to make online dating work for you, you need a plan. Here are 10 tips to help:

Think Beyond “Dating Sites”

Check out the rest of the tips on Essence.com.