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Normally I’d advise my girlfriends to be careful about jumping in to a new relationship right after a breakup. Rebound relationships rarely last because you’re normally vulnerable and raw, and hooking up with someone right after heartbreak can be a destructive way of dealing with the pain. In the end, there will likely be more hurt and confusion.

But for some, while getting into a rebound relationship may not be the smartest move post break-up, rebound sex is something completely different. Taking time to heal after a breakup makes sense, but does that mean that you should abstain from sex while you’re still processing what just happened with the last serious relationship? My cautious self says stay away from having casual sex until you’re completely ready to love again, but my realistic self says that people have needs and rebound sex may be just the thing to push you over the edge and move on.

Not sure if rebound sex is a good move? Consider these pros and cons before jumping back in the sack.

Carrying on a casual fling can be great for your self-esteem, your mental wellbeing, and even your physical health (sex is good for you!). But if you’re not prepared for the rules and realities of it, you might embarrass yourself, or break your own heart (when that’s exactly what’s not supposed to happen). Let us walk you through the particulars.

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While going around the Internet being nosy for news, I couldn’t help but notice that Taylor Swift of all people has found herself, or better yet, put herself, in the middle of what some might call a beef with funny ladies Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. If you remember, Fey and Poehler killed as hosts of the Golden Globes in January, and during the show, Fey made a joke at the expense of Swift by saying that the superstar country/pop singer needed to keep her paws away from Michael J. Fox’s son. The joke came soon after Swift’s split with a singer named Harry Styles from the Brit band One Direction, another quick boo-ship gone bad, and though we didn’t get to see her physical reaction via the camera at the Globes, we now know that Swift didn’t take too kindly to the light joke.

In an interview recently with Vanity Fair, Swift was asked about her thoughts on the incident and on the idea of “mean girls,” and she responded by saying the following:

“You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people. Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’”

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A date is a meeting between two individuals who may or may not have been previously acquainted, coming together for the purpose of getting to know each other. Dating is the process of continual encounters between two people for the purpose of furthering their knowledge of one another to see if they are compatible with each other for a potential relationship. These definitions make dates and the whole dating process sound pretty simple, right?  So then why is dating so complicated?

I believe dating is complicated because people don’t have similar goals in mind when going through this process, and people make more of a first date and dating than what it really is–a simple meeting or meetings to get to know someone on a different level. People have the tendency to make more of casual dating than what it really is because some get caught up in focusing on whether or not the person is ‘the one’ and what they can potentially bring to the table, rather than enjoying the person for who they are and enjoying the dating experience as a whole.

Now I know the whole purpose of dating is to get to know someone to see if there is potential there for a relationship, but honestly, when a person is primarily focused on having a relationship, then they make the dating experience complicated for both parties. How and why does this happen? This happens because people miss the steps of effectively communicating about their hopes and expectations and are half scared to come straight out and say that they would like to soon move forward to being involved in an actual monogamous relationship. People often confuse dating and monogamous relationships because during the dating process, many fail to communicate whether or not they are dating each other exclusively, with the purpose of moving forward in monogamy, or if they are dating other people…especially when the dating experience becomes physically or emotionally intense. When two people are involved in a dating relationship and they start feeling each other, they somehow miss the step of both parties agreeing to be exclusive and end up in a semi-relationship without proper communication, and when this happens, individual expectations and goals change for one if not both people, and that’s where things start to get complicated. What people should do when dating someone familiar or new is take their time and enjoy the person for who they are and not focus so much on if they will walk down the aisle with them in holy matrimony.

One should also realize that just because they are dating someone, that does not mean that you are the only person that THAT individual may be dating, especially if the two of you have not mutually agreed to see each other exclusively. Many times when people discover that they really like someone they are dating, they want to pursue a relationship with them, but the other person involved may not want the same thing, thus leading to hurt feelings and bruised emotions-especially if and when things become physical. That’s why when you’re involved in the process of dating, don’t just limit yourself to one person. Dating is a fun experience that should be taken serious, but somewhat lightly at the same time. It is the process of getting to know someone, but it is also a process of elimination, and if you are focusing solely on one person, you have automatically eliminated and alienated yourself from one aspect of dating. Dating is a wonderful thing when mature people have effective communication and truly take the time to get to know each other for who they are for a simple or greater purpose. Take things slow while dating, know what your intentions are with someone, know their intentions with you, be clear about the expectations, explore your options and take your time…

Have you ever confused casual dating for a monogamous relationship?

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin

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If you’re quiet, reserved, and shy, you know how hard it can be to make it successfully in the dating world. Though there is nothing wrong with being shy, it definitely makes finding a guy and keeping his interest harder than usual. Here are 14 tips for shy females who want to take the dating world by storm.

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Once something is deemed a “red flag,” it becomes part of the Bible of love; women believe it must be considered at all times.While red flags are good to be aware of, not every person and situation is the same. There are exceptions to the rules and if you’re not open to that possibility, you might shut out a lot of good guys. These red flags don’t always have to be red flags.

As you struggle through the confusing, turbulent and dizzying world of dating, you’re going to have a lot of people and situations to analyze. But, analyzing is exhausting, and it can get you hung up on someone you should have walked away from a long time ago. So know this: the answer to any situation can usually be whittled down to one of these universal truths about humans.

Texting is the most utilized form of communication between couples, friends and friends with benefits today. It’s efficient. It can be flirty with all those emoticons. It allows for communication at any time, like in a meeting or on the toilet, but it also allows you to avoid real conversation. So, it can be hard to read how a guy feels about you, beyond those little letters on the screen.

Men tend to bond over common interests. Sports, poker, a brand of beer. It’s no surprise that shared taste can extend to women, and at some point it may become clear to you that two men—two close friends—have fallen for you and you like them both. Between female friends, it’s kind of faux pas to go for the same guy. Both women tend to peacefully back off. But between men, it’s a sport. And at the very least, it’s fair game. You are, that is. And they are both allowed to go for you at full force. It’s you who has the trickier job of getting what you want, without being a cold Beyotch, and without having a broken friendship on your conscience.

Here’s how to do it…

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Women are hardwired to become more attached and to be more sensitive. So, naturally, we’re predisposed to getting burnt. Because of this, many women can begin to form a hard shell. They can start to think every single guy will burn them and so they think that being a jerk is fair game, and the only way to win this game called “The Singles Scene.” But, that mentality is all wrong. Just because everyone else lost their morals somewhere between the frat house and Vegas, doesn’t mean you should too. Your only shot at attracting a nice guy is by being nice. So get ready to be burnt, but also possibly find love, and stop with these heart-protecting tactics.