All Articles Tagged "Career"
As a woman in my early twenties, I work part-time for an education non-profit, freelance as a writer, and I work around the clock to build my own brand as an entrepreneur. It leaves very little room for social activities, except on the weekends. So when it comes to dating and relationships, I often find myself exhausted by the idea of it all. I spent six years in a relationship building with someone and unintentionally neglecting myself, and now as a single woman, I find myself torn between focusing on my career and looking for love.
“How are you going to be able to date with everything you have going on?”
“You don’t seem like you need a man.”
“Is that why you’re single?”
“When will you ever have time for me?”
“You don’t seem like you’re ready for a relationship.”
These are some of the questions and concerns some men have when it comes to women who are branded as being “too independent.” It’s almost like being branded with the scarlet letter. But Black women have always been independent. We’ve been the maids working double shifts to earn extra wages so that we can come home and take care of our family, and we’ve been one-half of a power couple where both parties share equal responsibility both in work and in the household. We’ve done it all, but most of the time, we’ve done it all without much help.
So with that in mind, I can’t help but give a slow eye roll when in 2015 we as women are still being fed that we can’t have it all. The career, love, and the family. Men have rarely had to give up their independence or been forced to choose between family and career, but it seems to be the binary constantly thrown at women. So why are women who are independent stigmatized as not being datable?
After surveying several men, I can’t say that I was surprised by some of the responses I received. Some said that independent women are not datable because of their unwillingness to be submissive. Most of the men I talked to felt that independent women won’t allow them to play their role as men because they are too self-reliant and don’t seem to have a need for men. To be dependent is to be vulnerable, and to them, independent women aren’t interested in that. Men are raised to be the protectors of their family and when a woman gives off the energy and attitude that she doesn’t need them it creates an imbalance in gender roles and dynamics. But on the flipside, there were some men who said they would love to have a woman who is self-sufficient and independent. Some even went as far as to say that they want a woman to take care of them so they wouldn’t even mind if she made more money…
As single men and women, naturally we should want and be able to take care of ourselves. We should be financially, emotionally, and physically healthy before trying to build with anyone. So why is it that women are criticized when they have their stuff together on their own and want a man to have it all together too?
After surveying different women at different stages in their careers, most women with a solid, five-figure salary and career told me they wanted men who had equal or more than them. They all claimed they wanted an interdependent relationship where they shared an equal partnership with their men. So when men say they want a woman to work as many hours as them and still be a homemaker after hours, these ladies weren’t for it. Why can’t he come home and cook too?
For some women, they believe the notion of being too independent to date is an idea created by men to retain whatever bit of machoism they can in a society where women are starting to dominate in most industries. “Date someone who’s manlier” was the suggestion that one woman gave.
Women who are strong, successful and independent should and tend to naturally aspire to be with men who share similar qualities, but on a much higher level. Is she too independent for love? No. She just hasn’t found a man worth compromising for yet, or who will compromise for her. When a woman truly finds herself in love, and the right man, she will have no problem being submissive.
“‘It is finished.’ With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit,” – John 19:30
Like many Christians across the world, I celebrate Holy Week, which leads believers to Good Friday and Easter or Resurrection Sunday. It’s a pivotal time in our faith when our savior (Jesus Christ) paid the ultimate sacrifice so that others might live both here on Earth and eternally. While I do my best to keep these sentiments in my heart throughout the year, there’s something powerful about these next few days that speak to my heart. As cheesy as it sounds, it makes me want to be a better person.
It’s so easy to set a goal to be nicer and more loving to your family and friends. For the most part, it shouldn’t be that hard. Yet I think about my professional life and career circle. Are elements of my faith reflected in what I do? Please don’t misunderstand, I by no means am trying to promote smacking folks over the head with a Bible and tossing holy water around the workplace. I’m simply talking about the basics of being a kindhearted individual.
Are you someone who doesn’t hold the transgressions of others against them because you too have fallen short at some point? Forgiveness is a very tough concept to grasp as many of us (I’ll raise my hand) have been guilty of holding on to grudges that only damage ourselves in the long run. While I’m not perfect, my faith does challenge me to let go of past hurts both in and out of the boardroom. After all, how can I become a better version of myself when I’m still holding someone to something they did months or even years ago? Does that sound like a great way to be productive? I don’t think so.
Thinking about the events leading up to Good Friday and Easter really have me at a standstill. Do I focus on the needs of others in my everyday life the same way Jesus thought of those whom he never met? Can I lay down the drama and wipe the slate clean as everyone–including myself–deserves a second chance at getting it right? Granted, I’m not Jesus, but the Word does say, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”
Whether you’re a “die hard” Jesus fan, someone who enjoys the CEO life (Christian and Easter only), or willing to entertain ideas of love and peace, I think it’s good to take time to reflect over your life. Good Friday and Easter inspire me to be a nicer and more giving person.
Has your faith challenged you to take are hard look at yourself and correct areas that are in desperate need of improvement? It takes a mature person to admit their shortcomings and more importantly, put action behind their intentions. At least for me, I believe who I am as a career woman is largely influenced by my faith. It’s a part of me, directs my sails to dream big and helps govern my actions towards others.
Taking care of your mental health should always be a top priority. And a horrible work situation has the potential to put you in an emotional rut that’s difficult to overcome, especially if you’re predisposed to mental illness. Here are signs that work is affecting your psychological well-being negatively and it’s time to think about whether your job is worth your sanity.
You were ecstatic when you got an offer for your dream job. You couldn’t wait to share the good news with everyone you know. But now that you’re working, things aren’t going as planned. You’ve grown to dislike the job that you couldn’t wait to have and you’re disappointed. It’s a crushing blow when something you wanted so bad doesn’t feel right. Here are tips to cope.
Co-workers may mean well, but that doesn’t mean that you should take career advice from the office buzz. There’s a lot of misinformation out there. If you want to take the right way to the top, here’s the terrible career advice you should ignore.
The Money Will Come Later…Right? The Struggle Of Choosing A Career You Love Over One That Makes Big Bucks
I’ve always known that I wanted to be a journalist since I was a kid. What my pigtail wearing, notebook-carrying younger self didn’t know was how low starting salaries were in the field. Being a paid, professional writer is the career I’ve always wanted, but I didn’t pursue it for a while because of financial worries. For a while I chose a more lucrative career in corporate America and neglected my writing aspirations, but I was miserable. I soon realized that no amount of money could compensate for a job that I hated.
All of us would like to enjoy a slice of success when it comes our line of work. Otherwise why the heck are we getting up each day to do the work? Don’t let the days pass you by as they are opportunities to move yourself one step closer to your goals. Here are some ways you can create your own career path.
Alani “LaLa” Anthony may be married to one of the most popular players in the NBA, but “basketball wife” doesn’t even begin to describe who she is or what she does. The mother and media personality recently opened up to JET magazine about maintaining her independence and what drives her hustle.
“I have an independent, hustler’s spirit,” the “Love Playbook” author tells JET. “That drives me to this day. I never want to ask anyone for anything. And that simple thing has kept me motivated because there is something about having your 26 own.”
While it may seem like she has it all together on the outside, the “LaLa’s Full Court Life” star admits that being a devoted wife, mommy and mogul isn’t always easy. However, keeping these tips at the forefront of her mind helps her to keep things in perspective.
“1. Never Stop Doing You – “The difference with me is that when I first got to know my husband I was already hosting MTV’s Total Request Live, so I came with a full career,” she says.
2. Accept That Having It All Will Require Blood, Sweat and Stilettos – When asked about balancing a family, career and friendships, Anthony responded saying, “It’s tough. I always say that people who think it isn’t aren’t being honest.”
3. Sex May Sell, But Love Keeps You Off the Market – “If you don’t try to spice it up and keep it sexy, anyone can get bored but the key is really taking time with each other,” advises Anthony.”
Read LaLa’s full interview in the latest issue of JET, which is schedule to hit stands Monday, Apr. 21.
Dear Lovely Dream Chaser,
Congratulations on your ferocity! If it were up to the world, you would be too paralyzed with fear to push into the unknown and too reliant on the comforts of routine to compromise your professional stability. But here you are—launching a business, pursuing a promotion, carving an entirely new position where there’s never been one before—fully immersed in the vision that takes up too much space in your heart to be ignored.
Mornings find you excited about advancements, however small, that entice you forward. Nights aren’t really nights at all, but a blur of working hours strung together with intense focus on the goal. You’re getting better every day and in the process, you’re getting closer. It’s happening as we speak.
When a woman is a go-getter in her professional life, she’s a go-getter all the way. Rare is she who can straddle the line of kinda sorta being passionate about her career. She either is or she isn’t. And when she is, she has where she wants to go clearly mapped out in her mind while she works an alternate plan in the meantime or she’s actively doing the thing, inching, stepping, maybe even rocketing toward the end game, but making some kind of movement ahead.
As exhilarating as chasing the dream is, it doesn’t come without potentially damaging sacrifices to your holistic health. Much attention is being paid to the benefits of physical care and that is inarguably essential. But your mind and your spirit, the core of who you are, also need to be preserved, even bolstered, as a gauntlet of unforeseen issues and problems challenge your internal peace. There’s no way you can weather the highs and lows of certain uncertainty and enjoy increasing levels of achievement when you’re offering your mental and spiritual health as a living sacrifice to the very objectives you need them intact to carry out.
Read more about ambition and energy at Essence.com
There’s nothing wrong with a career-oriented man: he’s less likely to financially depend on you and he has a passion for something, which is always attractive. But, some men never fully appreciate how a romantic relationship not only doesn’t detract from their career but can enhance it. Those men leave their partners feeling under-prioritized. Here are 7 signs your guy puts his career before you too much.