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With the growth of relationship experts and advice, it’s quite rare that you will find that the tips doled out are catering to the do’s-and-don’ts of men. Women are told what to expect, how to behave, what to say and when to say it in order to keep a man, but men are told very little if anything at all. And ladies, we know, relationships are work and call for the full participation of both parties. It is not only up to women to be the keepers of knowledge of what makes love and relationships work, while the men get to run around doing what ever tickles their fancy.

So, to help balance all of this information, I present to you seven things men should refrain from doing to keep the attention of the women they want in the “courting” phase. These are matters that women tend to discuss amongst themselves, but I think it best that we allow the men a chance to learn of these nasty habits in order to prevent any possible love mishaps.

Father’s Day is Sunday and if you’re in search for a last minute Father’s Day gift,we have some splendiferous (no, that’s not a real word) options for you, and they’re all in the beauty category. Who says dad doesn’t need to take care of himself and try some pampering? Without much frill, here are four awesome gifts that will show the great man in your life some appreciation.

Shea Moisture Shave Collection for Men

1. Shave Kits

This may seem passé, but shaving for men isn’t as simple as it looks, even if they do it every day. This is especially true for men of color who deal with coarser, curlier hair textures that are prone to ingrown hairs and razor bumps (and those little bumps are not cute). Gifting dad a quality shaving kit will go a long way with keeping his skin smooth and moisturized. You can keep it all natural with Shea Moisture’s Men’s Shave Collection, which is easy to find at any Target or Walmart. Or go luxurious with the Art of Shaving’s Professional Shave Bundle, available at Macy’s and Sephora.

Source: polyvore

2. Skincare

Yes, skincare is different from the shaving kits. In between shaves dad still needs to take care of his face, even the low-maintenance Dial soap man. Carol’s Daughter Acai Hydrating Face Butter is a quality addition to a gift bundle for dad. It’s a great moisturizer (I’m a big fan) that doesn’t leave the face shiny. Dad can simply apply it to any dry patches on his face and keep his face manly and moisturized without the shine.

Source: cumidanciki.com

3. Body Care

Never underestimate the care your father puts into his personal hygiene. We may think our father’s are simple men, but if you place something in their life they may use it and add it to their daily regimen. Men tend to be hard on their feet and every man doesn’t feel comfortable going to get that regular pedicure. So slide dad some foot powder or lotion, such as the soothing Carol’s Daughter Peppermint Foot Lotion. Sending that his way with a fresh pack of socks (and even some nail clippers) is a cute gift that will help the simple man take a step into better foot care. Kiehl’s Cross Terrain collection is another fab option that includes a dry foot cream along with a face cream and body wash, available at Nordstrom.

Source: netikka.net

4. Hair Care

Dad’s hair line and hair health is just as important as our hair. Long before natural hair was the trend, our fathers were the natural trendsetters. So if you are super stuck for a gift just look at your own inventory of hair products, especially if you and your father have a similar simple hair texture. Dad still needs to keep his hair and scalp moisturized so customize a gift bundle including your favorite moisturizing product along with personal sentimental items (a book he use to read to you, music he likes, etc.,). The best gifts are ones that require some thought, and we’re sure he’ll appreciate it.

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Before I go any further, I want to say that hair has been a very hard topic for me to grasp. Ever since I was a kid, I just wanted to take my hair and put it in a ponytail ALL of the time. Easier said than done.
But as we get older, we learn more about ourselves and how hair is in general. It’s funny sometimes. I often see moms with their biracial children, hair frizzy and in bows, beads that are clearly weighing down their possibly thinning hair, and gelled down curls. If they catch me looking at their child’s locks, they give the look, one seeking confirmation that says, “Hey, this doesn’t look bad does it?” No matter what I really think, the truth is, I can’t tell others what to do with their hair or what looks right, because guess what? I don’t even know what to do with my own hair. But if you read the comments on stories about biracial hair or listen to people every day on the streets, folks would think I had it so easy. Many people believe that because a person is “mixed,” they don’t have issues with their hair or that there aren’t different types within that spectrum. WRONG.

I’m a happy biracial butterfly: African American and Puerto Rican. Although I have four older sisters, my younger brother and I are the only mixed kids in my family. Growing up, I was constantly frustrated with my hair. It would take my sisters about an hour or so to finish their hair, but it literally took forever for me, and whatever style I chose would only last for a minimal amount of time. However, they used to tell me that I had nothing to complain about, and they had these delusions of versatility about how it was easy for me because my hair could be worn wet or blown out. (Fortunately my grandmother never really let that happen-if they had cornrows or box braids so did I–a funny but weird sight.)  Easy wouldn’t have been my word of choice.

It wasn’t until I was in high school and college that I noticed the many types of hair textures that make up biracial strands. I met girls who were in the same ballpark as me. Either they couldn’t control their hair, or damaged it from experimenting too much. I knew that it wasn’t just me who had a problem with the politics of hair either. There’s the hair that never curls, curls that can’t be controlled, and hair that is either too dry or too oily. The combinations are endless and I can go on forever about it…but I won’t. In that time I learned from my friends and other women what I was doing wrong and how I could keep my hair nourished and healthy.

A lot of that nourishment and good heath starts with the products we use for our hair. Sometimes “mixed” products are too weak for the hair and you could just be harming it rather than helping it. Some of the best products are the ones you may be ignoring, like Aussie’s Deeeep Conditioner or Miss Jessie’s products (that is one investment I wouldn’t mind making because it really works!). It took a while after dabbling with different products, but with time comes growth.

I’m not ashamed, or feel bad about my hair anymore. I used a little gift that works for ALL types of hair in the end–patience! You’re going to run into a couple of dead ends, but those mistakes just show you how to improve. Yet and still, while I do appreciate my hair more these days, I don’t have this over-the-top sense of pride that my sisters thought I would have. You know, the mindset that because my hair is wavy it’s better than anyone else’s hair. In fact, I hate the term “good hair” with a passion, especially since no one’s hair is “bad.” In this day and age, if you still believe in good and bad hair, form your own opinions and don’t take definitions like “good hair” for face value because if it’s healthy and beautiful to you, then baby, it’s indeed good.

All in all, I share my story of struggling with my strands to say the following to those like me:

1.) Hair isn’t your identity: Many people who aren’t mixed are often targeted for saying things like my sisters did, but sometimes you are to blame too. Just because you’re mixed or you believe that your hair is “good” doesn’t mean it is. Step down from the high hair pedestal that society has given you and look around. You’ll see that everyone has awesome hair.

2.) Embrace your curls: If you’re a mom out there reading this, just know that you don’t have to kill the curls (flatten or press them to death) so your children don’t look different from other people. Different can be good, but just remember to mix it up!

3.) Don’t give up on your hair: At one point I did, and I realized I caused more damage (physically and emotionally) to myself and my locks by ignoring them. There are tons of tutorials online, and you can also request samples for products before you make a serious investment. While it’s a struggle, with patience and effort, your hair will surely be your crowning glory.

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By Jouelzy

Virgin Brazilian, Malaysian, Peruvian, Cambodian. Exotic hair is all the rage. But the price tag doesn’t quite work for a lot of folks. Don’t be ashamed if you’re still purchasing your hair from the local beauty supply store and can’t get the silky looks of the stars.  No need to compensate by buying the most expensive hair in the store either. There are ways to achieve a great look without breaking the bank. Even synthetic weaves can look fabulous and cost you less than $50. Here are some tips on maintaining a weave that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. Whether it’s synthetic or human hair, it’s going to look real and real good on you.

1.  Cut the hair to shape your face.
Don’t just sew or glue in two packs of weave from the store and rock it, because it is going to look stiff and fake. You have to alter it to fit your features and the look you’re going for. The easiest trick to creating a more realistic look is by simply layering the hair and shaping it to your face. Rather then doing a blunt cut, shear the hair at an angle with a razor. Razor combs will do the trick and provide soft angles, even if you’re a novice at cutting your hair.

2. Be aware that your hair has a short(er) lifespan
Know that with a budget weave the longevity is short. Preferably, only keep in the weave for a month. With a little extra care you can stretch it out to about two months. You want to limit the product you put in it and wrap your hair with a silk scarf every night. The key word is ‘care,’ and that will largely determine the longevity of your weave. The less ‘care’ you put into maintaining it, the less time you can make that hair last.

3. Put down the product
Once again, the less products you put in your hair, the better. Product buildup is a sure-fire way to kill a weave. The most you want to do is condition the hair and oil your scalp. And you ONLY oil your scalp NOT the hair. When you’re wearing a synthetic weave, no product allowed. Put down the Let’s Jam! and ampro gel, and stick to light hair products.

4. Keep it short and sweet
Sorry to those who are dying to have hair down to their butts. At longer lengths, folks will already be searching extra hard for your tracks, but full, shoulder-length hair has a more realistic appeal, especially if you are using synthetic hair. The rule of thumb is bra-strap length, and remember to layer the hair.

5. Say no to flat top
All-in-one packs are very tempting, but they’re also too thin. We’re not even talking big hair, just make sure you have enough hair to make it look full and have body. The worst is when your weave is too flat on the top and you can see straight though the hair. You can do the all-in-one packs, just grab two. You should still be within budget.

6. To blend or to sew, that is the question…
Understand that you are purchasing hair that is of a lesser quality. That’s not particularly a bad thing. But attempting to blend your hair with synthetic hair can go all types of wrong. You may be able to get away with certain brands of human hair, but check the luster of the hair and meter if you want to really go through the daily pains of blending your hair. Full weave is usually the way to go. Just add an invisible part for a bit more dimension, and enjoy a fly style that fits within your price range.

Jouelzy offers tutorials on all aspects of Black hair care via her YouTube channel, focusing on women with tight budgets. You can also find her daily hair tips and inspirations on Facebook.

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Source: dfwhappenings.com

As the title says, my name is Victoria, and like many women (though they won’t admit it), I’m a natural hair product junkie. Or better yet, I was.

Just over a month ago, I made the decision to start locking my hair after a year of messing with, picking at, nurturing and loving my afro. With that change, I was instructed by my hairstylist, who is a big fan of all-natural, straightforward and basic products, to get rid of the creams, the greases, the curly puddings and more that were taking up all the space in both my large medicine cabinet, and the cupboard under my sink. When she told me to do that, I wasn’t really sure if I would. “NOT MY HAIR PRODUCTS!!!!!” I thought. They took me through my transition, they’ve kept my hair from looking a hot mess, and they’ve helped it grow. No, not my precious, precious products…

Then I realized how crazy my devotion to some KeraCare, Motions, Miss Jessies, and Kinky-Curl products was, especially since I had almost 20 products collecting dust in my bathroom.  After some thought, I decided that yes, she was right. Those expensive products with their ambiguous ingredients had to go.

So last Friday, I walked into work, bag in tow, with hundreds of dollars worth of hair products. Like a black female Santa Claus, I gifted my co-workers an array of products I couldn’t use anymore now that my hair is transitioning into a new journey. As the Miss Jessies Curl de la Creme ($18) was taken, the stretch silkening cream ($22), the KeraCare daily milk ($20) and more were grabbed from my Barney bag (scratch that, it was a fragile Target bag instead), all I could think was the following: “It’s a damn shame that I spent so much money on products in general…”

Oh, the struggles of going natural. Trying to figure out what would work for my natural texture without drying my hair out or breaking it off cost me a pretty penny. And as one of those women who used to make a trip to the beauty supply store as a weekly activity, I was buying new curling creams and moisturizers as if they were perishable foods. Hot mess, right? But I’m not the only one. I know a lot of women with natural hair who can agree that in the beginning, your hair can never be too moisturized, too shiny, too bountiful, or too big, so one or two products is NEVER enough. You go through a wealth of products to see if you can get the results, and in the end, you low-key become a product junkie.

Even a trip to Wal-Mart for feminine products can turn into an opportunity to raid the sparse hair section for oils (OOOOOOOH tea tree oil!). Yes, I found that when you’re natural, buying hair products, taking hair recommendations from any and everybody, and bargaining with yourself about why paying $20 for a shampoo is an investment is all part of the addiction to hair products (and in reality, women of all hair types find themselves spending mad money on a bunch of products). And yes, I was one of those addicts, ready to snap when a friend or family member was trying to use my $18 tub of Carol’s Daughter mimosa hair honey.

But now that I’m on a new natural hair journey, I decided to get over the money I spent on hair products in the past, and get my Goodwill on by giving up the products that were taking up space in my bathroom and in my life (Okay, I’m being MAD dramatic). After having all those products in my bathroom, I’m now done to virgin olive oil, a tea tree oil hair spray, a Jane Carter locking spray, and some Jamaican black castor oil. I think that deserves an applause. Indeed, this product dependency is a struggle many women go through, and it can definitely put a dent in your pocket. But I recommend doing some research before you just walk in the beauty supply and experiment with an aisles-worth of products–that will save you some time, and of course, some money. Budget and be realistic about how many products you really need. Eventually, you’re going to find the few products that your hair can’t do without, and the rest you’ll be more than willing to hand off to another woman getting to know her own strands. Or better yet, won’t end up wasting all those dollars in general. But until then…good luck sistas.

Source: http://www.cineplex.com

You and your man may enjoy a lap dance from time to time or get a kick out of tossing dollars (ones I hope) to Rick Ross’ latest mixtape but, let’s be honest, you hope to God never to see your daughter on one of those stages.

Strippers may be objects of infatuation in our hip hop-driven millennial culture, but the dark cloud of filth and (assumed) promiscuity still looms over the “profession.” As a parent, undoubtedly, one of your goals is to raise a daughter of whom you can be proud—which means you also want to keep her off of the pole.

Keeping your daughter off the pole in today’s society requires more than it did 10, 20 years ago. So, here are few tips to help you get a head start as a parent myself:

Build self-security rather than self-esteem.

Although all of us were created equally in humanity, each of us has been blessed with various talents and attributes in different ways. Some women are more physically attractive than others and garner more male attention as a result. Others are more gifted intellectually. And, the women who we like to deem the really lucky girls appear to have both. It is critical to empower our daughters to be comfortable in the skin in which God created them—nothing more, nothing less. She was given a unique set of DNA to be herself. Unlike self-esteem, self-security does not focus on empty compliments and vanity. Rather, it about inner beauty and self-assurance that translates into confidence and magnetism instead of cries for peer validation. The amount of substantial compliments given should greatly outweigh the superficial. Highlight her knack for organization. Build up her ability to solve problems quickly. Those traits matter in the long run. After all, what does the pretty girl who places all value in what people think of her outward appearance have left over in the case of a physically-altering accident?

Even the most liberal limb of me has to admit that there are some great perks associated with being a woman, and even more when you’re a woman with a man.  If I haven’t offended you yet, allow me to explain.  While I still encourage independence, self- sufficiency and to be treated as equals, double-standards don’t bother me nearly as much when I am on the side of the freeway looking at my car do the “shoulder-lean” as the air slowly deflates from my tire.   I surely don’t mind being a damsel in distress when I see a spider that has basically seized my entryway with his web basically making me a prisoner in my own home.
Like the show tune says, “I enjoy being a girl.”

At the same time, when the going gets rough and you find yourself without a guy to get going, sometimes you have to “man-up” and take care of business.  It’s these times when you have to toss your fragile femininity on the shelf and get down and dirty.  After mastering the following situations, you may even be able to teach these pretty boys a thing or two: