All Articles Tagged "building a relationship"
by Sabrina Jackson
In today’s era, we are all about embracing lives as strong, independent and financially savvy women who don’t need a man to take care of us. And because there are more and more women out there who have dominated the best schools and pursued lucrative careers to gain bank accounts that would crush those of their male counterparts, many of said successful women date men who fall shorter than them on the income spectrum. Unfortunately, however, these relationships often meet their demise over differing lifestyles and insecurities involving a threatened male-ego that couldn’t handle the successes achieved by a woman. So if you happen to be a lady who makes more than her guy, be sure to avoid such a fate in your relationship and check out the following tips for making it as successful as your earnings:
It’s all about respect. When it comes to dating a guy who doesn’t rake in as much dough as you do, turn up the Aretha Franklin and make sure that you are giving each other some R-E-S-P-E-C-T! If you have decided that a man’s financial standing has nothing to do with your feelings for him, then don’t give him a hard time for his choice in his career, his education level or the amount of bread that he brings home. A relationship without mutual respect is not a relationship—so it is equally important that the respect you give is returned to you regarding the same choices you’ve made in your life.
Consider lifestyles. Sure, when you are with a man who isn’t quite as successful as you, then most likely there are a few differences in your lifestyles that could play a determining factor in whether or not the relationship will work. What is he doing when you’re slaving away to make a hard-earned living? Does he lack motivation? Can he barely support himself so he relies solely on you? Is he at the bars or out shopping with your money? These kinds of behaviors can make high-income women feel used and can lead to questions like, “Is he really interested in me, or is he just interested in my black American Express card?” Sometimes, lifestyles just aren’t a fit and if you aren’t willing to foot the bill for him to enjoy the same luxuries as you, then it might be time to let the relationship go.
Have you ever rushed into things with a guy? Sure you have. Everyone has. You like the idea of having a man in your life. You’re giddy. You don’t see any problem with seeing him almost every day right off the bat and sharing everything with him. And then, suddenly, you’re in a full-blown relationship! And you didn’t mean to be, just yet. Here’s how to take things slow, without losing his interest:
by Quierra Davis-Martin
For many years women have wondered if there was a right or wrong way to date. Every woman has had the horror story of going on a fabulous date with a guy they were immensely attracted to only to not hear back from him for a second date. We wonder, what went wrong? Was it something I said or did that turned my date off? The dating scene can be hard and brutal if you’re not aware of what’s appropriate to say and do when first meeting a guy.
The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by Elle Fein and Sherrie Schneider is a controversial self-help book originally published in 1995, which guided women on how to date, how to be a “creature unlike any other” and provided advice on what to do and not do during courtship. The Rules include:
1. Don’t open up too fast/ be honest but mysterious.
2. Don’t meet him half way or go on a Dutch date.
3. Love only those who love you.
4. Don’t talk to a man first and don’t call him first. If he doesn’t call he’s not that interested.
5. Don’t go overboard and other rules for “giving” to men and paying for things.
6. Don’t see him more than once or twice a week.
7. Don’t rush into sex and other rules for intimacy.
8. Don’t be a groupie and other rules for dating high profile celebrity men.
9. Don’t live with a man (or leave your things at his apartment).
10. Let him take the lead.
Sometimes we women make things much harder on ourselves. Why can’t we just take the basic lessons of relationships and life and accept them for what they are? Even though it’s clear someone is not interested in us, why do we continue to make excuses for that person? It’s a wonder, really. Maybe if we just accepted things that men and therapists have told us, we’d have no drama. And with no drama, what would we commiserate with our girlfriends about? Ahhh…I’m onto something here. But before we go into some deep sociological interpretations, let’s review just some of the truths about dating that many women still refuse to accept.
Doesn’t it seem like all your friends just missed the whole “He Just Not That Into You” craze that sprung out from Sex and The City and went on to mark a heightened time of awareness about dating patterns? Why are women still wandering if a guy has some interest in ‘em when he hasn’t called in a week? Ladies, if he hasn’t asked you out, taken you out on a date, or asked you to be his girlfriend after months of dating, HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.