Shutterstock

With Spring and Summer comes the wedding season — May through October — when most couples plan their weddings to take advantage of the weather and accessibility of travel. You may find yourself a bridesmaid at one wedding while preparing to go to another, planning the bridal shower for a third, and helping with the bachelorette party for a fourth. Meanwhile, your wallet is puckering and drying up like a prune.

Here are a few money-saving tips to get you through another costly year of multiple weddings.

Source: Twitter

If you didn’t realize Nene Leakes’ new spin-off show “I Dream of Nene” was going to be a reality TV wedding spectacle, let me warn you now that it is going to be more turnt up than you ever could have thought it would be — namely because of who Nene’s bridesmaids will be. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a “Real Housewives of Atlanta” meets “Basketball Wives Miami” meets “Basketball Wives LA” kind of show? Well this is it.

On Twitter, Nene just shouted out her bridesmaids and among her regular every day gal pals are some interesting characters: Marlo Hampton, Cynthia Bailey, Jennifer Williams, and Laura Govan.

I love my bridesmaids @cynthiabailey10 @iheartmarlo @lauramgovan @iamjennifer @dianagowins @thablondebomb @lexisis1 @stylesbypat @dawnienla

— NeNe Leakes (@NeNeLeakes) April 22, 2013

That’s a lot. We’ve seen more than a few shots of Nene and Laura and Nene and Jen out and about in LA over the past year or so, but who knew they were this close? Or are they? And if I’m not mistaken, Nene and Marlo just met during taping of season 4 of the show. Now she’s going to be in her bridal party? In the past, Nene has talked about putting her friends on when it comes to being on RHOA and it sounds like she’s doing the same with her own spin-off because all of these women should be counting their lucky stars for another crack at reality TV — considering they’ve all pretty much been ousted from their original shows.

I’m just wondering if fans are ready for all this energy in one place. What do you think?

Shutterstock

I know I’m not the only person who felt enormously stressed by simply being asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding. The whole opportunity to support my loved one was nice, but I saw a side of folks, including other bridesmaids and the bride, that I wasn’t too crazy about. If you are the one planning a wedding or just trying to take part in one to make somebody else happy, please don’t be the person to do the following:

Don’t Assume People Are Balling Out Of Control

You might be rolling in dough while preparing for your big day, or as the maid of honor, you might want the bridesmaids to put in big dollars for getaways, spa sessions, and unique ways to celebrate bridal showers and bachelorette parties, but always remember that times are hard. With people having to buy dresses, gifts, pay for travel expenses and more, folks need to be reasonable in what they expect from wedding parties and family, unless you just want to keep things very small. But trust, if people can’t afford certain expenses, I’m sure they’ll let you know reeeeeeeeal quick.

Source: Shutterstock

Approximately two months ago, one of my girlfriends called me with some pretty big news. Her long-time boyfriend proposed to her and she accepted. She shared that they were planning to have a wedding in the coming months and that they planned on relocating to South Carolina before the year ended. I was ecstatic. I love to hear stories of couples getting engaged, especially black ones. While I knew that I would miss her once she and her hubby-to-be left New York, I was extremely excited for her and the new phase of life that she was preparing to embark upon. What came next was even more shocking than her fresh proposal and plans to relocate. She asked if I would be her maid of honor. “Awww,” I thought to myself. So caught up in the moment with all the good news that she shared and the fact that she asked me to hold such a coveted position in her bridal party, I quickly accepted.

It wasn’t until the initial excitement of it all wore off and I stopped gloating over another reason to get all dolled up that reality smacked me in the face. Although I was extremely happy for my girlfriend, I agreed to be her maid of honor for extremely vain and selfish reasons. I realized that I had accepted the role without having the slightest idea of what would be expected of me because of it. As I searched the Internet for information as to what the role of maid of honor actually entailed, I began kicking myself for accepting without really thinking things over. I stumbled across an article featured on The Knot, which lists the MOH responsibilities in detail.  It’s not that I’m a selfish person who refuses to make sacrifices for others, it’s just that at this point in my life, between graduate school and writing, I wondered how I could fit in such a huge responsibility. With each obligation I read, I moaned and groaned in my head.

“Lead the bridesmaid troupe. It’s the maid/matron of honor’s (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure everyone gets their bridesmaid dresses, go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all prewedding parties.”

Ugh, I barely know what I’m doing from week to week. If it weren’t for my monthly planner I’d be lost. 

“Offer to help the bride with prewedding tasks, from addressing invites to choosing the wedding colors”

God, who has time for this? My life is already one huge deadline. How am I supposed to add anything else to this mix?

“Dance with the best man during the formal first-dance sequence.”

Crap. I can’t dance. 

“Troubleshoot emotional crises. In most cases, this will require lots of tissues, hugging, and hair-smoothing. The MOH continues to be a trusted friend, a good listener, and a smart advisor.”

*Gags*

As the list continued, I of course had an excuse as to why I couldn’t fulfill that particular responsibility. And then, just as it always does, my extremely overactive imagination got the best of me as episodes of WeTV’s Bridezilla began to play on the movie screen of my mind. “Aw, hell. What have I gotten myself into?” I thought. And eventually, my conscience kicked in and I realized how truly selfish I was being. Everything was “I” or “me,” meanwhile, one of my good friends was preparing to make one of the most important commitments of her life. The least I could do was be there for her. Okay, so I may be inconvenienced for a few months, but when my time comes, I would hope that someone would be willing to do the same for me. Being a maid of honor isn’t about having a long to do list, but about being supportive and self-sacrificing to ensure that you’ve done all humanly possible to help your pal’s big day to go as smoothly as possible. I’ve decided to grin and bear it, because all my friend needs from me now is support, not the boo boo face.

Jazmine Denise is a writer living in New York. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise

ashleysbrideguide.com

When you’re chosen to be a bridesmaid, you’re likely an important person in the bride’s life, one whom she trusts when she’s in a crunch. A wedding, for all its pretty flowers, fancy dresses, and cupid shuffling, is a stressful occasion. Your friend, the bride, is mulling over a major life decision (“Is he the one?” “Forever? For ever ever? For ever ever?”) and likely shelling out wads of cash to make a memory of her and her beloved’s big day. Weddings also can be hotbeds for festering family feuds and unburied hatchets with friends. Now factor money, time, travel, dress fittings, and dinner options into a multi-event occasion (because there isn’t just the wedding; there’s the engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, night-before functions and morning-of events), and your role becomes about more than holding her bouquet and handing her tissues when she starts to cry at the altar. The job starts the second you accept the bridesmaid assignment, and it may require that you are at once a counselor, a logistical coordinator, a make-up artist, bartender, speechwriter, public speaker, seamstress, time keeper, caterer, and a host of other positions you have to hop to at a moment’s notice.

“But she’s turned into a Brideszilla!”
I have a mild-mannered friend who morphed into a nervous wreck minutes before walking down the aisle. By 4:30 p.m. she was on the verge of tears, rambling a mix of “Make sure my veil doesn’t touch my face because I just got my makeup done” and “What time is it?” as she stood jittery posing for pictures. Mind you, the wedding invitations indicated a ceremony start time of 4:00 p.m., and the bridal party was still in a bridal suite a mile away. When she noticed that each of her bridesmaids was ready to hold her veil away from her face, but hadn’t told her what the time was, she scoffed at me. “Tell me what time it is!”

I paused, knowing that she would never scoff ordinarily and that she worried about being the bride whose wedding started late. (Because, of course, she’d be the only bride in the history of the world whose wedding did not start on time.) Given that the time had already passed, and that she, one of the stars of the show, didn’t need one more thing to fret over, I offered this: “Girl, we all left our phones over there. I think we’re good on time anyway.” I pointed to the room where we’d done our makeup and left our personal effects. We were in middle of taking pictures, so the likelihood that any of us could rush to grab our phones was low. “Besides, you’re the bride. They can’t start without you.” The bride calmed down, realizing that she was the bride, after all. What she didn’t know was that her bridesmaids had kept their eyes on the clock, with one in touch with the wedding planner who was at the church. The wedding planner was informed of what was happening and had a sense of the bridal party’s estimated time of arrival. Calming the bride’s nerves prevented a freak-out on the home front, and doing the back-end work of checking in with those at the church were a couple of the bridesmaids’ roles that day.

On the brink of a major life change, the bride’s nerves are likely frayed. Understand that her mess of emotions might lead to bouts of bossiness and snippety-snappity sensitivity. Offer a listening ear when she needs to vent, take some of the work load off by offering to stuff and stamp invitation envelopes, or simply take her out for lunch and choose not to talk about anything wedding related to relieve her mind of the stress for a little while.

If you feel like the bride’s gone off the deep end, quell the urge to snap back. The best way to avoid a tense argument is to stay calm, tell her you understand her position (“I know this is your dream wedding and I know you want everything to be just right.”), tell her that you’re happy to help (“I’m here for you and I’m glad to help you make this happen.”), then very gently let her know how her attitude/rude remark/over-the-top request made you feel (“I was a little hurt by the way you mentioned that I am gaining too much weight to be in your wedding.”). Again, remain calm and decide from there whether your role as bridesmaid will remain.

“But the dress is ugly!”
I stood in another wedding where a fellow bridesmaid flippantly mentioned how hideous our dresses were — to the bride. The bride, understandably upset, had tried to find a dress that was affordable, comfortable, and in a style that was flattering to the body types of her diverse cache of bridesmaids. The other bridesmaids were fine with what had been chosen, but as much as the bride had mulled over the decision of what her girls would wear, the offhand note that one member of the wedding party thought the dress was unsightly had the bride reeling for other options. This, ladies, is an example of when to just suck it up, and let it go. Yes, I know that you’re shelling out your own cash for a dress that you’ll never wear again and can’t return. Yes, I know you’ll be standing in front of a room of people and then be immortalized in photographs wearing a dress that you didn’t even choose yourself. But, as Echo Surina writes in “10 Rules Every Bridesmaid Should Follow”:

Accept [the bride’s] decision happily. If you love the dress, rave to the bride about her  superb fashion acumen. If you’re not so lucky, suck it up and be thankful you have to wear it only one day.

Surina notes that if the bride does ask for input, bridesmaids should keep the assessments “soft”:

Instead of saying you adore or despise a dress, without constructively explaining why, try framing your feedback in a way that’s based on objective factors: dress availability, affordability, how flattering it is to your figures, or whether the color [complements] everyone’s skin tone.

“But I Can’t Afford It!”
What if you can’t afford the dress? What if you can’t afford to travel for the wedding? Tell the bride up front and tell her immediately. Case in point: I once made the mistake of holding out on ordering a bridesmaid’s dress until six weeks before the big day. Ample timing in real life, a rush-job in the wedding world. Aside from having to field eye rolls and clenched jaws from the bridal shop employees, I caught an earful from the bride who was afraid I’d need alterations and wouldn’t have the dress in time for the big day. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d have to wait on buying the dress?” She’s right, I should have. Luckily, the dress they had in stock fit me perfectly, but what if it hadn’t? Keeping the bride in the loop on money matters minimizes that event of unpleasant surprises and gives her the option to front the cost of your dress and other items if necessary. But if she doesn’t know, she can’t help.

Can’t make it to a friend’s destination wedding? Consider throwing a small shindig for the bride and groom before they set off to get hitched. The costs may be considerably lower than jetting to Cancun for three days, but you still have the chance to properly wish your friend well. Again, the operative phrase is “up front and immediately.” If there are any known conflicts with your participation in the wedding, the more time you give the bride to make different arrangements, the better.

The bottom line:  The role of the bridesmaid is to lift the weight that can suck the magic and memory from what should be a very special time in the life of a bride. Though it might mean wearing fluffy taffeta or being in charge of the bride’s debaucherous final night of singledom, be mindful that more than anything, your friend needs your support.

More on Madame Noire!

• Did You Know They Dated!? 11 Celebrity Couples You Might Have Forgotten About
• What Makes Me A Hoe? And Other Questions About How Women Are Unfairly Labelled
• Is It Time To Call Tyrone? 14 Ways To Know Whether Your Relationship Is Worth Fixing Or Nixing
• Loose Lipped Lovers: 10 Celeb Men Who Kiss & Tell
• We Love You Essence, But We’re Going To Need You To Get Some New Cover Subjects
• There’s Just Something About R. Kelly: Can We Hate The Sin, And Not The Sinner?
• Caught Up In College: A Cuffing Season Tale

Source: ru-crazy.com

I would have considered telling the court that Usher slept with two of her bridesmaids to be the pinnacle of Tameka Raymond’s ploy to make the father of her children look like an all around jerk, but apparently there’s more to tell and she just might.

In Touch Weekly is reporting that Tameka plans to air more of Usher’s affairs throughout their marriage, but not just with a couple of nameless women in her bridal party, this time we’re talking celebrities she insists her ex-husband slept with during their two-year hot mess of a marriage. Now that could get seriously ugly.

I get that Tameka is trying to make sure she retains custody of their 3- and 4-year-old sons, Naviyd and Usher V, but she seems to be going about it the ugliest route possible. The drug thing is valid, but him cheating is more so related to his inability to be a good husband not necessarily a good father, plus it’s just making her out to be the bitter ex-lover as In Touch‘s source pointed out, and it makes you question the validity of her claims:

“Though she’s trying to paint Usher as a wild party boy with a huge sexual appetite, it’s backfiring and making her look bad,” says the insider. “Everyone’s testifying that she’s the one displaying erratic behavior.”

At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if Tameka asked Chilli to get on the stand as a character witness and talk about him cheating on her. SMH I am curious who these supposed celebrity mistresses are though, but I know that’s not my business.

Do you think Usher’s cheating is crucial information for a custody hearing?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

• What’s Black Enough For You?
• Grieving Over a Girlfriend: 7 Ways to Move on After a Break-up…Between Friends
• Bet You Didn’t Know: Secrets Behind the Making of “Poetic Justice”
• Am I The Problem? Finding Accountability Within
• Don’t Look Back: Are You Spending Too Much Time Obsessing Over Your Past?
• Where Are They Now? 10 Black Actresses Who Should Have Blown Up Big…
• What About Ciara? Knicks Star Amar’e Stoudemire Proposes To Mother of His Children

Source: Rollingout.com

About two weeks ago Tameka and her lawyer threw out a nasty allegation that Usher slept with two of her bridesmaids while they were married and now we have a face and a name to match one of those women.

The name is Mya Fox Davis and she definitely was in the couple’s wedding party; and from the second photo, she was extra cozy with Usher and Tameka’s son, kissing him all in the mouth and whatnot. Tameka’s lawyer outed the woman in court and said that one of the couple’s nannies left Miami because she discovered Usher in bed with her while the couple was on a family vacay. If there is any ounce of truth to that I take back the sympathy I felt for him crying on the stand the other week.

Mya sent out an interesting tweet after pictures of her went viral, saying “Loose lips, sink ships.” But Tameka read that message and fired back a one-liner that was even better:

“Really?? first U creep now U tweet. Loose lips sink ships huh??..more like Loose chicks turn tricks!”

Tameka might get a recording contract soon if she keeps rhyming like that. I kid. But so much for her being “done responding 2 this stuff.” Once the other girl’s identity hits the net, it’s going to be the wild wild west of Twitter feuds for this situation.

What do you think? Is Mya admitting she slept with Usher?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

• Things I Learned While Rocking Relaxed Hair, Natural Hair, and No Hair At All
• I’m a Little Uncomfortable With Michelle O’s Love For Beyoncé, Are You?
• Don’t Be a Ratchet Rat: 7 Manners Everyone Should Mind…Or Risk Getting Snapped On
• Haute Hats: When It’s Hot, Keep Your Cool With These 7 Stylish Looksl
• Sheila E. Says Music Healed Wounds From a Traumatic Childhood Incident
• Get Under Your Skin: How To Renew & Maintain Your Skin
• The Hair She Dared to Wear: The Coiffures of Patti Labelle

Source: Hiphopenquirer.com

When I say I really hope this story isn’t true, I mean I really hope this isn’t true. Things are getting very heated in Usher and Tameka Raymond’s custody proceedings and both sides are throwing out wild accusations about the other—although none as sensational as Tameka claiming Usher slept with, not one, but two, of her bridesmaids.

This bomb was apparently dropped during court proceedings last week and was a response to testimony from several nannies who worked for the couple and said that Tameka was negligent, she didn’t have schedules or instructions related to the children, she was sporadic with the pay, and that none of them would work for her ever again. In response to the claims, Tameka’s attorney said that her client was under a great deal of stress at the time and was depressed because Usher had revealed to her that he slept with two of her bridesmaids.

That accusation was the last straw for Usher who reportedly stormed out of the courtroom during recess and was heard mumbling: “Now I am sleeping with her bridesmaids?”

I obviously can’t say whether that’s true or not but all I know is that if someone I was married to for a hot minute really slept with two members of my bridal party, there’s no way I would still be walking around with his last name after the divorce was final. I’m thinking Tameka might just be pulling out all the stops to get the cash and the kids—and that house that Usher owns and can kick her out of with just 60 days notice. Also, Usher hasn’t really said anything crazy about his ex-wife, the nannies are ruining her motherly image bad enough for him, which again makes her accusations seem just a tad bit on the shady side. Poor Ursh–unless of course this story is true, then he deserves whatever he gets.

What do you think? Is Tameka just making stuff up at this point?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

• Bet You Didn’t Know: Secrets Behind the Making of “The Color Purple”
• Lord Help Me, I’ve Got The Old Chick in The Club, Ready For a Family Itch
• An Open Letter to People With Jobs…Who Don’t Want to Work
• Wondering What The Most Popular Baby Names Were of 2011?
• Made For T.V. Moms: Our Favorite Reality Show Mothers
• Where Are They Now? The Cast of “New York Undercover”
• Evening Eye Candy: Model Broderick Hunter

From YourTango.com 

Would you love to look spectacular for a wedding this season? Here are 10 easy and simple tips to incorporate into your daily life that will make positive changes to your health and well-being not only for the event but for the rest of your life.

1. Drink more water. Water is absolutely vital for every process in the body and especially for your skin. If there is one thing that is critically important to your body’s overall function and well-being, it is the sufficient consumption of water. Water is the most potent fat burner, period. When we are talking about fat burning we are really referring to lipolysis. This is one of the distinct metabolic events that take place in a fat cell and water is needed for this to occur. According to a study in the Journal of Obesity, people who drank water with their meals lost almost 5 pounds more weight than people who drank less. Add a squeeze of fresh lemon for taste and the added benefit of antioxidants.

2. Eat more soluble fiber. Most women lack fiber in their diets — the average woman according to studies eats less than 15 grams of fiber a day. You can fix that by adding in a vital fruit that will have profound effects on your body and skin. An easy way to fix this is by eating lots of crunchy, sweet apples. Apples are an easily accessible superfruit!

3. Eat a healthy balanced diet. A healthy diet will help you look and feel your best for any wedding or special event. Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins. The link between diet and acne is not completely clear, but some research suggests that a diet rich in vitamin C and low in unhealthy fats and processed or highly refined carbohydrates will promote younger, healthier looking skin. Get the rest of these helpful tips at YourTango.com.

More on Madame Noire!

• WEEKEND WRAP-UP! The IRS Wants Faith Evans! Who’s Headed Back To Jail? + MORE!
• LaTanya Richardson Talks About Life With Samuel L. Jackson
• EYE POPPING! Tips On Rocking Bright & Bold Eyeshadow
• Childs’ Play: Reasons Why You Attract “Little Boys”
• Did You Know They Were The Daddy? Surprising Celebrity Parents
• 20 Years Later, Where Are They Now? The Cast of “The Cosby Show”
• More Than Just Music: Dynamic Duets Who Also Dated”

nikkiandthecity

By Taylor Lea Thomas

So there you are. You’re as happy as a clam. You’ve met the love of your life, he popped the question (and picked a good ring too… all by himself!) and you’re beyond giddy. You find convenient reasons to raise your left hand for everyone to get a glimpse of your sparkling ring, you go through the day smiling for no reason, and everyone’s wishing you congratulations. You’re on cloud nine, however, you have the feeling your inner circle isn’t as happy as they should be as your bridesmaids or about your wedding plans in general. What’s that about? Here are a few signs to look out for from your bridesmaids and “friends,” and how to deal with their sudden mood swing about your nuptials:

Read the rest of this entry »