All Articles Tagged "breasts"
I hesitate to write about the Smith children, simply because they are indeed children. Yet, unfortunately in the media, they are bashed and dragged and even condemned in ways no one- man, woman, boy or girl- should experience.
And that’s unfortunate.
But today, I’m going to write about Willow Smith because I really am on the fence about a recent picture she posted on Instagram.
It’s not an actual posted picture, rather it’s an image she’s currently using as her profile. In it, Willow is wearing a long-sleeved very colorful shirt that just so happens to feature a pair of naked breasts on the front.
So, the question is, is this too much for a 14-year-old girl to be wearing.
A large part of me thinks no.
Breasts are not bad, or solely sexual. I know that’s what society has taught us. Breasts are only there to be sexy and to be used during sex. And of course they can be but then again, so can any other body part. People get off on a lot of things. Plus breasts actually do other things– you know, like fill out shapeless clothing and nourish children. So I think Willow wearing this shirt raises some questions about our society’s hypersexualization of breasts.
In an ideal world, people would be able to distinguish the image or appearance of breasts for sexual satisfaction and when breasts are just breasts. But that’s not the way it is around here, here being America. It’s the reason why all of the kids in your fourth grade class crowded around that one desk to point, gawk and giggle at the picture of a mother breastfeeding her child in the National Geographic. And it’s the reason why mothers who take pictures like this, are morally berated on the internet. Because we haven’t been able to tell when breasts are sexual and when they’re just doing what breasts do.
But there is also a part of me that understands this is the world in which we live. And since breasts are so undeniably sexualized in this country, is it really appropriate for a 14-year-old girl to invite this type of gaze, from people she does not know and cannot see, onto her body? There are some very sick people out here and that’s a scary thought. Even though these aren’t Willow’s breasts, they’re strategically placed right around where hers are–or would be. I don’t know. Whether she views it as sexually suggestive or not, a vast majority of people will. And while it’s a shame we have to live our lives, attempting to predict the thoughts of others, as women we often do that to prevent certain types of attention or even certain types of violation.
I’m not a mother yet but I wouldn’t want my daughter wearing a shirt like that to school or anywhere else. Because I know what type of attention it might attract. And frankly, it’s dangerous.
Then again, this is Willow Smith. She’s not a normal 14-year-old. She’s not in conventional school. And I don’t know her life, but I’d assume that she doesn’t go a whole lot of places without a bodyguard. So she can express herself in this way without fear that she’ll be physically harmed because of it. She might just stumble across a few more hurtful comments about her parents’ irresponsibility or worse, comments about her own morality as a young woman. Hopefully, Willow posted the picture and went about living her life and isn’t as worried about this as we all are.
What do you think about the shirt and posting the picture of herself in the shirt on Instagram?
It’s hard out there for a big-chested girl.
Bring me some fabric tape and a safety pin.
“Who owns the breast: child or husband?”
This is the tongue-in- cheek yet provocative question raised recently in Street Talk Naija, a Man on The Street sort of Nigerian web series, which you can watch on YouTube. Speaking with both women and men, the responses were pretty evenly split: half of the folks saying that since the primary purpose of the breast was for feeding, it therefore belongs to the children, while the other half argue that since the woman belongs to her husband, he “owns” everything about her, including her breasts.
Of course, while watching this, I had already summarized this to be a trick question. I mean, we all know that the woman owns the breast. After all, it is attached to her body so – husband or not – it is hard to claim ownership of something that is not in your physical possession. Likewise, just because breasts are also mammary glands doesn’t mean that women are not using the breast right if it’s for purposes outside of being a food source for a baby. Some women do get sexual pleasure from their breasts, and in fact, recent studies have found that ni**le stimulation activates the same brain areas as vaginal and clitoral stimulation. How and in what way her breasts are being used is solely up to her. The funny thing is that as obvious of a point as this was to me, not too many people in the video actually echoed a similar sentiment.
Yet before we attribute this to the backwards thinking of some indigenous Africans (because I know how some folks think), we in Western societies too find ways to enforce, albeit subtly, this belief that the use of a woman’s body is not of her own fruition. And it is a major reason why some folks responded with flat out ridicule when Angelina Jolie announced that she had both breasts removed in hopes of preemptively striking against a hereditary and aggressively deadly form of breast cancer. Nevermind her very real health concerns, keeping a pair of perky breasts was deemed by some as much more important. The negative reaction to her announcement should serve as a reminder that the female form, particularly the breasts, are still very much treated as public domain, created for the sole purpose of sexual arousal – regardless if she sees it that way or not.
Such as the case of Holly Van Voast, a Bronx photographer and performance artist, who filed a federal lawsuit against the city of New York for being repeatedly detained, arrested, and on one occasion, institutionalized, for daring to bare her breasts in public. The easy answer is to say, “Well of course what she did was lewd.” However, the same city, which saw Van Voast topless as obscene and sometimes mentally ill, had a completely different standard for men of all body shapes (including breast-size), who are free to walk around topless without repercussions, including the N*ked Cowboy, a pasty-skinned guy who walks around Time Square, strumming his guitar in just a pair of tighty-whities and cowboy boots.
It is also this double standard when it comes to displays of the female breasts, which has inspired Go Topless Day. According to Policy Mic, such a day looks to bring awareness to the need for gender equality in public decency laws, by protesting across the country in – you guessed it – no tops at all. And according to the New York Times, the Van Voast lawsuit, which was filed on the grounds that the public decency laws are bias, might have been the inspiration behind a recent shift in policy in the NYPD, which is now instructing its 34,000 police officers to stop arresting topless women for indecent exposure.
Despite the shift in NYC laws, women who opt to bare their chests still face an uphill battle in having their bare breasts not viewed as criminal or as a spectacle as demonstrated by video of last year’s Go Topless Day in New York City. In it, men followed around a bunch of topless protesting woman, drooling, ogling and taking pictures. Even as these women hope to convey a much bigger message of ending the need to make natural body functions and form dirty or illegal, the reality is that you can’t change the mindset of some, who still insist on putting their own definition on it – at least not right away. Up until the mid-1900s, men could be arrested for going out in public topless. Today, we have Rick Ross and nobody blinks an eye. Perhaps if more women are willing to bare it all in protest of these ridiculous laws, and more importantly, this mindset, it might change how we as a society view breasts. Basically, as a source of many things, from the giver of life and nourishment, to a part of our sexuality, to being the source of nothing at all.
You probably heard the news yesterday that the Grammy organization has handed down a dress code for it’s upcoming award show that’s more detailed than that of most catholic schools. And I’m sure you thought, “huh, aren’t we talking about grown people here?”
Oh, how soon we forget. T&A is about as visible during award season as it is inside of a Gentleman’s club, and after years of people (sometimes the same ones) pushing the envelope way, way, way too far, CBS and the powers that be said they’ve had enough and are banning all sorts of attire — or lack thereof — this year. Still confused why they’re being so strict? Check out some of the most risque fashions ever to grace the Grammy red carpet.
Dear Boob Sweat,
You really are a tricky, little wench aren’t you? For years, I’ve had some good laughs at the women who dared not leave the house with a little powder in their cleavage. I thanked God that I would never be one of them. You weren’t going to catch me out here with an ashy cleavage partly because it looked crazy (read:hood) and also because I really don’t have a cleavage to speak of. Being less endowed in the boob department, the only way I would ever have cleavage would be by pushing my breasts together with my triceps. And who can hold that position for long periods of time? I call the area where my cleavage should be, “the Barren Land.” There’s nothing there but my sternum. So imagine my surprise last week when I found that water, aka perspiration, had come to the barren land. It was you boob sweat! (Cue villain noise here.)
Being that this was our first introduction, I would imagine that you would have made a better first impression. But, (and this is where the story gets gross, clutch your pearls if you must) after I slid my finger down my shirt to wipe you away, I noticed there was a very faint, musty smell that lingered in the air. At first, I couldn’t believe it. Certainly that smell couldn’t have been coming from me. I’d just taken a shower! But a second swipe confirmed my fears. How could this be? How could I have boob sweat when my breasts barely speak to each other? I hit the sink to dab away the sweat and the odor. But as I dabbed, I thought, what does this boob sweat mean for my life? Was I going to become one of the powder ladies I’d made fun of? Would I be able to wear barren-land baring shirts in the summer?
I didn’t come up with a solution until later in the week. I was standing in the bathroom mirror, fresh out the shower. I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out my deodorant/antiperspirant. I applied my customary (and excessive) six swipes to each pit. Just as I was about to recap, I looked down at my antiperspirant and had a brilliant idea, Put some deodorant on the barren land. I literally smiled at my genius. This is just what I needed, the perfect solution. I’d keep you away, boob sweat and since it goes on clear, I’d completely avoid the powder marks. I wore a low cut shirt just to test the theory. And sure enough, when I got to work, there was no sweat and no must. Score!
I’m onto your game boob sweat. I know you thought you could use my mistaken smugness against me, that your sneak attack would get the best of me. I was unprepared and unarmed then. But now that I’m onto your game, I know which weapons to use against your trickery. You may have won the battle; but the war, boob sweat, is all mine.
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The line for this particular train is crowding the platform, thousands of females waiting to board with ticket and camera in hand. You know what I’m referring to, yes? The Great Thirst Trap Train. You’ve seen them: the self-shot camera pics of females everywhere from as young as 14 to only God knows how old seated not-so-comfortably on the edge of the bathroom sink, a trick used to make their rear end look even a fraction of a cheek larger. Or how about the back shot photos taken in elongated mirrors, their bodies contorted to get the exact angle at which their hips, booty and legs look most poppin’?
Throw in an outfit made of nothing but bra and panties (or now more frequently, no clothes at all) and photo captions/song lyrics like, “Body like heaven,” and you’ve got the perfect example of a tried and true thirst trap. A thirst trap is a photograph, status, tweet or the like that aims to entice men and result in compliments galore. I’ve found that it’s a sexually-motivated social networking tactic that attention-starved young ladies use to boost their self-esteem. Then, once men begin to respond sexually to your photos, they are deemed the “thirsty” ones, “pressed” or overly eager.
Let’s take a step further into this craziness, shall we? I’ve seen girls post statuses (under the guise of “Facebook After Dark”… REALLY?) about how they “like to ride it backwards.” Then, they follow the subsequent drive-by of likes and downright illicit sexual questions posed by horny young men with LOLs, <3s and smiley faces. But if the same young men begin to blow up their inbox, they are now considered “thirsty” and need to chill. And while some men take disrespect to a whole other level – which is NOT okay any way you slice it – this whole phenomenon still blows my ever-loving mind sometimes. Where do we draw a line for ourselves as women? Especially since I’ve seen all sorts of casually sexual behavior stem from these kinds of interactions.
With the growing number of x-rated photos (and videos) girls as young as 14 and 15 are tweeting, posting on Facebook and Instagraming – I’m wondering where (if anyplace) we’ll start setting boundaries for ourselves? Are we going to keep pushing the envelope for the thrill of seeing that little red Facebook notification seconds after we post a bra-busting photo?
I’ve gone weeks with less than five Facebook notifications, informing me that some guy has ‘liked’ my photo. When I was but a wee college freshman it used to bug me because I saw all the “sexier” girls getting so much attention. My self-esteem was outwardly validated then, so I would wear a shorter skirt and arch my back like an alley cat. That got old really quickly when I realized the kind of attention I was drawing. And not all attention is good attention. Forget what you’ve heard. Learning how to be comfortable in my own skin (and a full set of clothing) gave me confidence, so no matter how many Instagram/Facebook likes I may or may not get, baby I’m good. And honestly, a confident woman in a jumpsuit in her wall photo can be more attractive than a broken woman in a brassiere any day of the week.
There is room to love your body without advertising your goodies. And when you really think about it, why would you want to give away full view of your “assets” to a bunch of men who’ve done nothing to deserve even a peek, let alone the full Maxim spread (and I do mean “spread”) that so many females plaster across the Internet?
Your worth isn’t wrapped up in social networking notifications. It’s in how you view, carry and love yourself. We each set the tone for how we are ultimately viewed and treated both on and offline. So let’s button one more button and think twice about our destination before paying our fare to board The Great Thirst Trap Train.La Truly is a late-blooming Aries whose writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. Armed with the ability to purposefully poke fun at herself and a passion for young women’s empowerment, La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and change through her writing. Check out her thoughts/jokes/rants on Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly.
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Pop quiz: If you want to turn a man on to the highest level, you should…
a.) Fix you hair
b.) Buy a new outfit
c.) Wear your best push up bra
d.) None of the above.
If you chose “d,” then you’re correct. Find out the ultimate turn on for men at Your Tango.com.
Are you feeling a little insecure about your smaller boobs? You have a health and sexual advantage over your more bountiful, big breasted sisters.
Hello Beautiful put together a list of real, scientific reasons why smaller breasts are better in some aspects.
Talk about being a day late and a dollar short!
Nearly 20 years after it would have mattered, the ex-girlfriend of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas said Thomas was “obsessed” with pornography and loved big-breasted women so much he asked one particularly busty colleague her bra size.
While we excuse ourselves and go clean up the drink we just spit out, you can read more of this nasty-fication here.