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During a break up there are all sorts of words said and lines dropped. When a once-good relationship is ending, it’s not uncommon for one of the two people involved to drop the “let’s be friends” line. Though it sounds good at the time, being friends after breaking up usually isn’t a wise idea and here are 14 reasons why.

Source: WENN

Back in December, we reported on the rumored split between Ashanti and Nelly. Not even one month later, candid boo-loving shots of Nelly and video vixen/model Lashontae Heckard started to surface. Nelly even began showing up to events with Tae on his arm. After years of both Nelly and Ashanti ridiculously denying their involvement with each other, it seems that we may finally get some insight into their relationship. In a recent interview with Sway In the Morning, Ashanti discussed her upcoming album and even hinted that some of the tracks would be about Nelly. Check out some of what she had to say.

On whether or not songs about her experiences with Nelly will appear on the album:

“Who said we had a relationship? [breaks into a fit of laughter] The name of the album is Braveheart. I’ve been recording for a couple of months now. There’s a lot of heartfelt records on there. I think everybody can relate. I’ve been writing my records since I came out and it’s been from real life experiences [laughs] and that’s how people relate.”

 On dating a celebrity again:

“I think what’s important is to find someone who you have things in common with. So whether you have a 9 to 5 or you’re in the industry or I don’t know, you’re into computers or you’re into doing nails, whatever it is, find someone that you’re kind of compatible with so that you guys kind of understand whatever facet of life you’re on.”

On wanting children:

“Let me tell you something, I’m going to have an army. I love kids. I think I wanna have like six. We’ll see what happens. I know I gotta get started. I got a couple more things to do first and then I’ll really starting thinking about it.”

While Ashanti didn’t come straight out and say that her new album will feature tracks about her “secret” relationship with Nelly, we hear her loud and clear. A couple of songs based on those real-life experiences sprinkled into her latest project could do a lot for her record sales, as inquiring minds would love to finally hear her discuss that relationship.

Turn the page to see footage of Ashanti dancing around questions about Nelly.

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From YourTango

Are you still feeling bitter about a breakup you went through ages ago? Don’t let bitterness keep you from finding love! Here are five steps to help you move on with your life:

1. Own your feelings. After a relationship ends, it is pretty difficult not to harbor some feelings of resentment and bitterness that it did not turn out the way you hoped  Feelings of disappointment, rejection, anger, humiliation and bitterness are common.

It is essential to the process of moving past these difficult emotions to first recognize and acknowledge exactly what your particular emotional response to this experience is. How did your partner fail you? What is your resentment about?

This process can begin after you have gone through the initial reaction to the breakup. Some time must pass before you will be ready to process your feelings in an effective way. When you feel ready, spend some time exploring these feelings on your own.

2. Take care of yourself and reach out for support. This seems elementary, but sometimes, in times of crisis, people turn inward and disappear from trusted friends and family. When this happens, you will feel even more isolated, and may become convinced that not only doesn’t your former partner love you anymore, but that no one else does, either. Doubting yourself in this way is a common but unhelpful reaction to a breakup.

Read the rest at YourTango

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When you’re going through a breakup, sometimes you want to cry, sometimes you want to scream, and sometimes you want to break things or drive past your ex’s house, and there’s only one thing that makes any of those things feel a little less crazy: a complimentary song. These are our top picks for best post-breakup songs.

Source: WENN

When I wrote about this rumor yesterday I was hoping it would turn out not to be true, but as forecasted, Djimon Hounsou has put out a statement on his relationship with Kimora and the final word is that they are a done deal. The actor’s rep told PEOPLE:

“Djimon Hounsou and Kimora Lee Simmons have officially separated after 5½ years. Though never married, they have one child together, Kenzo Lee Hounsou, who is 3½ years old.”

The actor didn’t give a reason for the split — because he doesn’t owe us all that —  but it makes me wonder whether those infidelity tales he disputed this summer were actually true.

Djimon, 48, and Kimora, who’s either 37 or 42 depending on the source (SMH), got together in 2007 while things were apparently on the rocks between her and Russell. Kimora didn’t file for divorce from her ex-husband until March of 2008 and their divorce was finalized the following January. In May of 2009, little Kenzo was born.

Disregarding the current messiness, I have to say I don’t expect news to get much juicier than it currently is when it comes to these two. From the outside looking in, Kimora and Russell have handled their breakup and co-parenting relationship quite well, with the father of Kimora’s two daughters even blending into Kimora’s new family with Djimon. I would expect she and the actor will be able to do the same raising their little boy apart. Best of luck!

Source: WENN

On almost a weekly basis we’ve been talking in the office about how we never see Kimora Lee Simmons and her husband Djimon Honsou out anymore. Lately you only see one or the other with their kids, which has only fueled rumors the two are headed for splitsville, and the Hollyscoop is claiming to have confirmation that divorce is right around the corner, but supposedly Kimora doesn’t know it.

“They’ve been done for months,” a source told Hollyscoop, “[Djimon's] planning on going public with the news this week.”

As of now, it’s unsure what the marital status of these two is. They were married in West Africa in summer of 2008 because Kimora’s divorce from Russell Simmons wasn’t finalized yet and they reportedly never got a marriage license in the U.S.

But an overseas marriage is still recognized as legit even if you don’t reside in the country where you actually got hitched.

The news from Hollyscoop’s anonymous source should obviously be taken with a grain of salt. Just this summer there were rumors these two were headed for divorce because Djmon had cheated on Kimora. The hubby of the Baby Fat creator took to his wife’s ex-husband’s website, Global Grind, to personally address the news, saying:

“It has come to my attention vicious lies and stories are being spread about myself and my family. I do not know, nor have I ever met this person. To that extent any and all claims are totally fabricated and for the press to be spreading these lies is irresponsible on their part. I am a man of integrity and would never betray my wife or my family.”

Sounds like we can expect another statement from Djimon this week, but whether he’ll be shutting down rumors or confirming them is a tossup. What do you think?

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A relationship is a connection, an association or involvement between people who can have a negative or positive effect on people. While in a relationship, people expect to have good times, great times, bad and difficult times; but how often do we expect a relationship to end? Relationships generally end in one of five ways; a mutual decision to part ways on good terms, the decision of one person which can be because of something good or bad; the relationship can simply fade away; both parties can decide to have a platonic relationship, or sadly it can end in death. However, when a relationship has ended between two people, is it really over?

I ask this question because many times when a relationship is said to be over by one or both parties involved, there is still some sort of attachment to the other person, or some sort of physical interaction. For instance, two people can decide to end their monogamous relationship, but continue to have sex with each other. Or, a woman can leave a relationship with a man physically, but she is still attached to him emotionally or financially. Why does this occur? Why is it so difficult to let go of someone when a relationship has ended? The answer is simple.

It’s difficult to let someone go, or completely faze them out of your system because you were once connected to this person in some shape, form or fashion for a season or a series in your life and that person has helped you become the person you are. Whether the relationship was good or bad, the person you were involved with taught you a valuable lesson, and you will always remember what they did, what they did not do, how they made you feel emotionally, how good the intimacy was between the two of you, how they provided for you financially, so on and so forth. And no matter why or how the relationship ended, this person has become an indirect part of who you are, and you have become an indirect part of them.

Other reasons relationships aren’t really over is because of the memories that were created. It is difficult to get over someone because of feelings that have developed, and people don’t want to let go of the relationship. Relationships are generally built and based on feelings of physical attraction, mental stimulation, sexual stimulation, etc. It is difficult to break the ties of those feelings that have been developed. This happens more often than not because people don’t want to start over in love, they are still vulnerable to the connection they they developed and simply want to hold on to the relationship no matter what.

I recall a relationship I was involved in several years ago with a young man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. He had everything I wanted in a man at that time in my life, and I just knew we would have an amazing life together. Unfortunately, things did not go as I thought they would, and my mate and I parted ways relationship wise, but we still remained friends.

As we transitioned from our dating relationship to being friends I thought to myself, I can handle this, and I’d rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all, and as time went by it became easier for me to be his friend, but in the same breath it was difficult for me to do so  because we had a great relationship and I wanted to continue with him as my mate. As the years went by, I realized that this relationship wasn’t over for me because I didn’t want to let him go for my own selfish reasons. I wanted him to be mine and mine alone because of the connection we had, the way he made me feel and because I thought we would have this story book life that would end happily ever after. It was hard for me to relinquish the feelings I had for him in regard to being his mate, but as it turns out, we were better off being friends, and we are still friends to this day.

Do I think about our relationship when we see each other? Yes I do. Does my heart sink in slightly at the thought of us not being together? Periodically. Have I completely moved on from wanting to be in a relationship with him? Yes I have. Is he completely out of my system? No, he’s not and that is because he is a part of who I am, I am a part of him and I learned a number of valuable lessons from him that I will always keep with me. So needless to say, when certain aspects of relationships end, it begins a new relationship with the person be it physical or not. Am I saying hold on to someone? No I’m not, but I am saying embrace the memories created, learn lessons from each relationship and apply the knowledge learned because the person came into your life for a season, but they remain in your heart and on your mind for a reason.

When a relationship has ended, is it really over for you? What things have kept you from moving forward?

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin

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So you’ve just gone through a breakup and you want to be sure you keep your cool. You don’t want to do anything that makes you look (and feel) desperate or like you’re falling apart. Some acts are obvious to stay away from. Others are a bit subtler until suddenly you feel like you’re spiraling out of control right after doing them. Avoid that “Oh my god…I’m a crazy ex!” moment and don’t do these things.

From YourTango.com

Breaking up with someone has never been easy, but in this age of status updates, checking in and documenting your every move online, it’s only getting harder. Not only do you have to find a way to remove your ex from your real life, but you’ve got to hit delete on their digital presence as well.

It might be tempting to furiously update your Facebook status with an overly emotional, angry over-share, letting the world know that the breakup in question wasn’t your fault. However, this won’t do you any favors in the long run. Social media can either be a huge support during this hard time or your worst enemy.

Here is how to handle your online presence while going through a bad breakup:

1. Talk, don’t type! When you’re in the midst of a break-up, your emotions are on overdrive and you might be tempted to say things you’ll regret. This is the perfect time to call a trusted friend and meet for coffee, instead of writing an angry blog post or firing off emotional tweets.

Sure, you might be able to go back and delete them, but we all know the Internet never really forgets. You never know who is reading what you’re saying online, so it’s best to be mindful and manage your online persona accordingly. Talk it out with a friend, don’t type it out alone.

Check out the other two tips to avoid a Facebook meltdown on YourTango.com.

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Source: Sister2Sistermagazine.com

On top of rumors that money troubles were breaking up Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou’s relationship, Kolo Boof—the Sudanese-Egyptian author and poet who claims she was Osama Bin Laden’s mistress—came out with allegations that she slept with Djimon to get back at Kimora and that’s the real reason the two are splitting.

Russell Simmons told us Kimora’s approach to silly rumors—ignore them and let them die—but when Kolo accused Djimon of being unfaithful, he had enough. In a statement on his wife’s ex-husband’s site, GlobalGrind.com, he shut down the rumors altogether, saying

“It has come to my attention vicious lies and stories are being spread about myself and my family. I do not know, nor have I ever met this person. To that extent any and all claims are totally fabricated and for the press to be spreading these lies is irresponsible on their part. I am a man of integrity and would never betray my wife or my family.”

The NY Daily News seems to be the only outlet giving Kola’s story unnecessary attention. In January and February she was going hard on Twitter, making comments about how she had sex with Djimon more than Kimora, and with an autobiography on the shelves it’s no wonder she’s looking for ways to be relevant. Luckily Djimon nipped that in the bud quickly, as he should have. It’s good to know not only are the couple’s finances intact, their relationship is too.

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