All Articles Tagged "breaking up"
Way back in Girl Scouts, I learned the song, “Make new friends, but keep the old; One is silver and the other gold.” These lyrics, made relevant again when Diane Keaton recited them for her long-time pal Woody Allen at this year’s Golden Globes, seemed to cover it all. Welcome new people into your life, but don’t let the old ones slip away—simple enough.
True, as kids we were probably more focused on selling Thin Mints and Samoas than questioning the intricacies of platonic love, but what my scout leader failed to even hint at was the possibility that these bonds could evolve into something, well, not so golden.
That’s where I find myself today: reevaluating an old friendship that’s soured over the years. I met my friend—we’ll call her Sarah—when I was in my early 20s and new to NYC. Back then we ran all over town, stretching our meager post-grad salaries at street fairs and happy hours, and generally having a great time. But now that we’re both in our 30s, the air between us has become strained. Feelings are easily hurt and we’re less willing to be vulnerable around each other.
Sometimes I come home from hanging out with Sarah and feel exhausted. I’m hyper aware of small jabs (or at least what I perceive as jabs), and I feel the need to constantly shield myself. I’m not sure exactly how we got here. There’s no dramatic story to tell about her stealing my boyfriend or me tossing a cocktail in her face after a drunken argument. I suppose it was a series of small disappointments that have added up over the past 10 years (I know, totally boring).
So here I am wondering, do I end things with Sarah? Is it possible to break up with a friend?
For all the advice we hear about breakups of the romantic variety, friendship usually gets the shaft. Maybe it’s assumed that we’ll all be great Girl Scouts and just stick to the song. When we do shine a spotlight on adult friendship, it usually doesn’t play out in a meaningful way. Rather than inspiring stories, words of wisdom or stories of the nuanced phenomenon of breaking it off with a friend, we get all-out spectacle. Just look at the Real Housewives of…any city, really. Bickering besties fuel nearly all the drama on those shows, whether it’s NeNe vs. Kim, Bethenny vs. Jill, or Teresa vs. everyone. Are we to only explore female friendships that end in a fury of weave pulling and insult slinging?
This may explain my male coworker’s reaction when I asked his advice about my potential friendbreakup. “Drama!!” he replied. I tried to explain that it wasn’t about drama; It was about being genuine in my relationships and surrounding myself with only people I truly enjoy. “Look,” he said, “I have three good friends and they’ve been my friends since I was 10 years old. Once you’re my friend, you’re my friend for life.”
Read more about letting friends go at YourTango.com
Everybody has that one relationship they forever regret ending—the one that, after doing a lot more dating, they realize was actually pretty great. If you ask anyone why they ended those relationships, you can probably expect to hear one of these reasons. Here are 7 common things women feel should mark the end of a relationship that usually shouldn’t.
Me & this guy met right in the middle of our respective divorces. What was supposed to be a two week rebound for me turned into 4 months–we came to genuinely care for one another. I broke if off gently, saying we should give one another some time to heal. I go to therapy, he goes straight to the next girl (and therapy). However, we “hang out” regularly, and of this his gf is aware. I doubt she knows it’s every weekend. She definitely doesn’t know I sleep over (just sleep for now).
Months pass and for some reason, the chemistry’s still there. The old me woulda cut this off as soon as I heard about the new chick, but since I’d gotten so close to the family, I felt that would be wrong of me. Besides, his parents, brothers, and friends love me and I came to love them too-they were super supportive through my divorce since my parents couldn’t be.
More months pass and he’s still seeing the same girl, but the chemistry between us remains. I try to avoid him as much as I can. Now it’s been a year since he and I stopped dating each other. I’m still not dating by choice. he’s still dating homegirl, still calling me twice a week, and we’re hanging out almost every weekend. I’ve since moved outta state but like an idiot started sleeping with him right before I left. He still calls me twice a week without fail. I’ve been lying to get outta taking his calls for a couple weeks now.
I’ve finally accepted he has no plans to do any self-reflection any time soon, and I want out of whatever kind of relationship this is (side chick? Ex? whatever) and I thought putting a couple states between us would do it. Talking to him just causes me a lot of anxiety, but I still talk to his parents regularly. How do I gently convince this guy to leave me in peace, hopefully without alienating the fam? Or has this ship simply sailed?
- Bad with Breaking It Off
Some women are more than willing to forgive their man for cheating. Some say, and believe, that infidelity can be overcome if the right amount of time, effort, and emotions are put into forgiving. However, even if you are able to forgive your man for cheating on him, you’re never able to forget the experience and emotions that you were put through. Once infidelity has made its way into your relationship, things are rarely ever the same; hence are 14 legit reasons to dump a cheater, even if you think you can forgive him.
Note: These reasons are more pertinent to relationships, rather than marriages.
Breaking up is never an enjoyable part of the dating game, but sometimes it’s more than necessary. The key though, when you find yourself on the wrong side of a breakup, is making you sure a) don’t have a complete breakdown, b) don’t end up in jail, c) don’t end up in the same situation again. Here are 15 mistakes people make after breaking up, so be sure to avoid them if you really want to be able to move on from this.
Relationships are never perfect and, in some instances, there are times when you, or your man, may begin to pull away from one another. Men can be really hard to understand because many of them refuse to be openly emotional and communicative, which really makes keeping a stable and happy relationship that much harder. If you’re finding that your man seems to be slipping through your hands like water or you’ve committed a major offense in the relationship, don’t give up hope just yet. Here are 14 ways to keep your man from walking.
After you’ve already dedicated time getting to know someone, getting attached to someone and getting involved in their life, it’s depressing to think that was all just a waste of time. But you know what the real waste of time is? Spending your life with someone you’re not 110% into. And here are signs that you’re on that path.
The art of dumping is not an easy one to master, but it’s a necessary one. Letting someone down the wrong way can at best leave you with a guy sending you angry texts for months, and at worst leave you with a bad reputation. So here’s how to do it with diplomacy.
Breaking up is hard enough without being put out of house and home. And if you did live with your man, odds are you thought you’d marry one day or at least be together for a long time: so this is no mild heartbreak. Every step of the move out during the breakup is delicate, and a misstep will make things much harder. So follow these guidelines.
One day out of the blue your guy breaks up with you. You’re of course stunned, sad, and questioning everything. The breakup hits you harder than any others before because it was a complete shock. You two were doing fine, or so you thought, and you had plans for the near future. Breakups are hard, but they’re even harder when you are completely blindsided by it. Though you’ll feel plenty of emotions, don’t let yourself get too down in the dumps. Here are some tips and ways to deal with a blindsided breakup.