All Articles Tagged "break-ups"
The old adage goes “It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” Well, tell that to anyone who has had their heartbroken. While some of us are able to channel the emotional setback in positive ways, many of us take a slightly different approach. So in the spirit of encouraging rising above (and not going to jail) we bring you 15 ways not to handle a break-up.
Heartbreak is a horrible thing, but these celebrities may have deserved to get dumped. Maybe they’ll have better luck in romance when they do a little better.
Not one but two love children and paternity suits? Baby mama’s giving up Knowles family secrets on Inside Edition? It’s no wonder Mr. Knowles got divorced. He needs to take a break from the dating game before the Knowles family gets any bigger.
According to Star Magazine, which is, we’ll admit, a questionable source, Detroit rapper Big Sean and his girlfriend turned fiancé actress Naya Rivera have called off their wedding.
The couple, who got engaged after six months of dating are allegedly reevaluating their upcoming nuptials because Big Sean admitted to being unfaithful.
Sources tell Star that the 26 year old Big Sean proposed back in October but didn’t start acting like a man about to walk down the aisle and commit his life to a woman. Star says “his playboy ways did not subside and he suddenly got cold feet.” The source claims, “It was too much, too case for him.”
Star reports that while the wedding is on hold for right now, the couple haven’t ended their relationship. Supposedly, her friends are trying to convince her to move on but the actress is trying to hold on to her man. The sources claim “She’s already picked out a wedding dress and doesn’t want it all to be for nothing…she’s in denial.”
Like we said, this is all heresy at this point but we’ll see how this all plays out.
Whenever a couple breaks up it’s a sad story. But do you believe this one?
When a relationship ends, it always hurts. No matter how long the relationship was, there is always a bit of a sting that comes along with it. However, the better we feel about a relationship, the more it hurts when it ends. When you break up with someone who you thought was the one, it can lead to a lot of heartache. Here are 14 ways to get over the one who got away and move on with your life.
So, it didn’t work out — you guys broke up, and it sucks. It really sucks. But you know what makes it worse? Doing things that you know you shouldn’t be doing, because they’re only prolonging your misery.
In our recent Break Up With Your Ex survey, we found out that 64 percent of respondents are still obsessed with a past relationship, but 86 percent agree they’d be better off making a clean break from their exes. And we’re here to help you do just that.
So get off your ex’s Facebook page (we’ll get to the defriending later), tune in and move on!
1. Jumping Into The Sack
Sleeping with someone new tonight will totally renew your diminished sense of self-worth and independence, right?! Wrong. Having sex tonight will absolutely not do either of those things. Chances are, you’ll wake up with a post-coital hangover and regret everything about your little revenge romp. Don’t get me wrong; hooking up with someone new is a completely integral part of the post-breakup process … in due time. If your mind is made up, go ahead and make out with someone, but keep your clothes on until you can make a more rational decision. I apply a similar strategy when it comes to online shopping. If I still want it in a week, I break out the plastic. Until then, I pump the breaks.
2. Social Media-Stalking
You knew this one was coming — so cut it out! The stalking needs to STOP. Oh, you don’t want to go ahead and press “unfriend” because then you’ll look like you “actually care?” Please. Are you a robot? Of course you care. Doing it today is better than doing it next week, when you can stalk to see if he or she has any new pictures, or status updates, or instagrams, or tweets, or vines. That’s right, we’re talking a cold-turkey social media separation here.
Read more on the breakup process at YourTango.com
The folks over at sparks & honey have completed studies of dating in the future and explored how we will date, have sex and break-up in the next decade by looking at three “macro” trends including: how technology is speeding up how we interact; that unconventional relationships are becoming more accepted; and that kink is going mainstream.
It’s no secret that the online world is changing how we do everything, especially dating. Technology has completely changed what used to be so simple. Boy used to meet girl, flirt with her, get her house number, call her and patiently wait until they connected with that girl and they would then take it from there. Dating is different. Sex is different. Break-ups are different.
Check out these trends that effect how we will date, have sex and break-up in the next ten years:
Technology Is Speeding Up How We Interact:
Technology advances continue to shape and speed up all aspects of dating, falling in and out of love, communication and sex. People volunteer their date willingly and apps generate that information, pulling from preference settings. Technology has become a distraction from our daily lives and created a new type of love triangle.
These days, technology has turned our culture into a microwave society and we’re too impatient when it comes to anything, especially dating. Well, let me speak for myself. I want things QUICK! If I text a guy and he doesn’t get back to me that day or even within that hour, I think he’s just not that into me and I don’t consider him a potential any longer. And don’t get me started online dating. Forget sites like OkCupid and Match.com, the apps that allow people to meet by simply swiping, proclaiming their interest or non-interest in someone have created instant gratification that is unrealistic in the “real world.”
How will technology continue to influence dating? Read more at HelloBeautiful.com
Over the summer, we learned that Love & Hip Hop star K.Michelle was exclusively dating 23-year-old Indiana Pacers shooting guard, Lance Stephenson. Unfortunately, their romance was short lived. By October, we were reporting on the couple’s split. Though she didn’t originally offer an explanation for their breakup, the “V.S.O.P.” singer later revealed that Lance had been unfaithful. During a recent interview with Power 105.1’s Breakfast Club hosts, K further discussed their split.
“We’re good. I just took a step back, but we’re good. We’ve been like, communicating. I think it’s the age. Let us just be friends,” she said.
The reality star went on to discuss his alleged cheating ways.
“He wants to do what a 23-year-old do, but he still don’t want me to do—you know how that goes. So I’m just like, ‘Okay, we might as well be friends,”‘ she added.
Though K admits that it was best that the they go their separate ways, she says that he was definitely one of her better boyfriends.
“You know, I’ve had some awful ones. He actually had some really nice qualities within him other than his… You know, so we’re cool. We really are good.”
Infidelity wasn’t the only issue though, the “I Just Wanna” singer also blames their hectic schedules for putting a strain on things.
“That’s another thing. I don’t think he was jealous, I just know that we never have time. Like my tour starts Monday and I haven’t seen him since like September. The season started and I haven’t had anytime, so…”
Watch her interview on the next page.
Make Your break up less messy
Break ups were never meant to drag on and on for weeks at a time, quietly ruining your friendships, future relationships, and sanity. Some break ups are amicable and easy, and others may result in the authorities being called. If you are having an epic heartbreaking break up, there is a way to make it less messy. You really can have a clean break and be ready to start again.
Despite dropping a cosgining verse on girlfriend Naya Rivera’s diss track aimed towards his exes, Big Sean maintains his love and respect for his ex-girlfriend Ashley. During a recent interview with Necole Bitchie, the 25-year-old rapper discussed parting ways with his longtime sweetheart and finding love in Naya.
On catching heat over his break-up with Ashley:
“A lot of people criticized me or whatever. I’ve known her since I was 16 years old. A lot of the people criticizing me, I wanna ask, ‘Are y’all motherf***ers still with the same person that you was with when you was 15 or 16 years old?’ Me and her grew up. We didn’t always live in the same place and things got hard.”
“She graduated school and didn’t really like LA and she wanted to move to New York. And I’m like, ‘No man, you should be with me.’ Then it was just like, ‘Well, we can make it work long distance.’ For me, it was a little too hard. I feel like that’s just one of the reasons why it didn’t work. I don’t have anything but love for her.
On how he feels about Ashley:
“No matter what, I got love for her and I’m pretty sure she has love for me. That’s always going to be there and that’s why I made sure I kept that song on this album after I did it and after we broke up. She deserves a beautiful song for her because without her, I wouldn’t be where I am period. She deserves 10 songs like that honestly.”
On his track titled, “Ashley:”
“It’s not just a tribute to her. I’m just telling the different stories we had and people will be able to relate to it in their own love lives. Everybody has their… you know, for me, it’s Ashley. “
On messing up during their relationship:
“I messed up a lot. We would just go through things that young people do. I made mistakes, she made mistakes. At least I’m man enough to admit it.”
Check out Sean’s full interview below.
When we find ourselves at the end of a relationship, it’s common for friends and family— in an attempt to soothe and console us— to suggest that we jump right back into the dating game and find someone new. They say things like, “There are other fish in the sea,” and “The world is filled with plenty of guys out there ready to treat you like a queen,” in hopes that their words will rescue you from the feelings of sorrow and loss that you might be struggling with. And while their words may be true and becoming romantically involved with another person may temporarily take your mind off of the emptiness that you’re feeling in your heart, what happens if (or when) you and your rebound guy split? Are you then going to replace the rebound guy with another man as your support system cheerfully shouts, “On to the next,” from the sidelines? And exactly when do you slow down long enough to actually deal with all of the trauma that you’re repeatedly subjecting your heart to?
As women… even more so as black women, we pride ourselves in being strong, fearless and unbreakable. We endure pressures and hardships that are sometimes hard to imagine for those who are on the outside looking in. We’re taught that life is tough and often times unfair, but you grin and bear it and most of all, you never let folks see you sweat. While this is sometimes the motivation that keeps us pushing when the going gets tough, people are rarely ever around to say, “Hey, it’s okay to admit that you’re hurting,” “It’s okay to take time to grieve” and “Taking time to yourself in order to get past this doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.”
The dating hiatus or man-cation if you will, often bears a negative connotation. Some perceive it as a period when bitter or scorned women wallow in their misery, hating their exes. Others believe it to be a post-break up period when a woman desperately hopes and prays that her ex will come back to her. But in actuality, it’s nothing more than taking a simple break from dating and relationships. It can be a time of healing, self-discovery, self-reflection, emotional rest and personal revelation— none of which are offered by hooking up with a rebound guy. This doesn’t mean you have to spend your days propped in front of a television watching Tyler Perry flicks and indulging in a tub of Häagen-Dazs. It can mean that you’re using the time that you once spent with your significant other to spoil yourself, catch up with old friends, improve on a skill, pick up a new hobby, etc. Best of all, if utilized correctly, a dating hiatus can greatly assist you from bringing old baggage into your next relationship.
I remember when I first reported on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta star MiMi Faust’s new relationship. We didn’t learn about her relationship via some cute little subliminal message on Twitter or some barely visible photograph on Instagram with a vague message attached. She wasn’t spotted cozying up to him in the dim lit corner of some Atlanta night club. They weren’t seen strolling down a popular shopping strip hand-in-hand. Instead, the world learned that MiMi Faust and Stevie J were no longer an item and that she’d found someone new during an über messy interview with popular Atlanta radio station, V-103. The occasion for the interview, you ask? Of all things, she was there to deny allegations made by her daughter’s father and ex-man, Stevie J, that he was granted full custody of their daughter Eva due to her alleged negligent and substance-abusing ways. About 58 seconds into the interview, MiMi alleges that Stevie is only upset because she’s moved on to someone new [enters Nikko].
What was more alarming than the fact that MiMi already had her new guy smack-dab in the middle of her baby daddy drama, was that her break-up with Stevie appeared to be so fresh that most weren’t even aware that the two had split. It seemed like a recipe for relationship disaster, and if you were able to catch the last few episodes from this season of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, you know that it was. In what seemed like no time, the relationship fell apart with MiMi looking like a lunatic and Nikko referring to her as “damaged goods” in a club full of onlookers.
This of course, is an exaggerated example, but the underlying message is the same. Jumping from relationship to relationship rarely allows time for healing, reflection, emotional rest or anything else other than a new body to keep you warm at night. Slapping a bandage over a physical wound that requires disinfecting, medical attention and treatment won’t make it heal fast. Shouldn’t the same go for emotional wounds as well? A dating hiatus isn’t a prison sentence. It’s not a sign of weakness. It doesn’t mean you’re in denial. It means that you love yourself enough to make sure that you’re emotionally healthy before you expose your heart to another person. It means that you need a minute to yourself. It means a ton of things, but being weak is not one of them. Honestly, which would you consider to be more strong: the woman brave enough to face her emotions and tackle them head on or the woman who decides not to deal with them by drowning her sorrows on the affections of another?
Follow Jazmine on Twitter @jazminedenise.