All Articles Tagged "break-up"
From Single Black Male
Not too long ago I’m on the bus with one of my friends. We caught up on a bunch of things: we spoke about work, Grand Theft Auto (goes without saying) and women. This somehow leads us to what I consider a great debate.
I love to have my thoughts challenged, so in turn this post is written to challenge all our thoughts. The debate my friend and I were having dealt with whether or not you could sleep with people while single. As simple as that may sound, there is a twist. You see there’s an idea that we all have where someone may break up with you… but they didn’t really break up with you. I’m sure we’re all familiar with “breaks” in relationships. I’m personally not big on them; although, in some cases I guess they’re necessary.
Here is my very simple and straight forward opinion.
If you are in a relationship and you all legitimately break up, I deem you single. Whether or not you get back with someone in the future is irrelevant. If you want to explore some options during your single period, as far as I’m concerned, it’s right by the book. In truth, there’s really no book, but you know what I mean. My friends usually say I’d get them in trouble with my views. I just operate with the idea of facts. The facts in this scenario are I’m not cheating, and I was good to you while I was with you. Those are unequivocal facts. Whether or not you tell someone after the fact is on you.
My friend felt different and just to clarify, it is a guy. His take on this might be refreshing to some. He really thinks if you think you’ll eventually get back with someone, then it’s wrong to deal with someone else. He asked “what if a girl did her on a break with you?” I by no means said you won’t be upset if the roles were reversed. I also didn’t say that someone wouldn’t like the fact that you may have been with someone on a “break.” But really, what could you say? You would have to tell me what rule was exactly violated.
The essence of what my friend was harping on was emotions that are involved in these situations. If you ask me, emotions can be quite independent from what you do.
Read more at SingleBlackMale.org
There are a few—and I mean a very few—instances in which a broken relationship can be fixed and things can start anew. But you don’t just get to blindly walk into it, expecting the comfort of the familiar, and the butterflies of being reunited, to carry you through the problems that once destroyed you. There is work to be done. Here are some guidelines for getting started.
Hollywood relationships come and go. Although they thought they’d be together forever and even got engaged, these celeb couples never made it down the aisle.
Britney Spears and Jason Trawick
Britney Spears had a very public meltdown back in 2009. There to help the star through her recovery was her father James, who was named her conservator by the court. Also on hand was former agent Jason Trawick. The two started dating and he was even named co-conservator in 2012 after the couple became engaged. Although her career was on the rebound, the same thing could not be said about her love life. Spears announced the couple’s split at the beginning of this year. “Jason and I have decided to call off our engagement,” Spears said in a statement released by her publicist on Jan. 11, 2013. “I’ll always adore him and we will remain great friends.”
Breaking up is hard enough without being put out of house and home. And if you did live with your man, odds are you thought you’d marry one day or at least be together for a long time: so this is no mild heartbreak. Every step of the move out during the breakup is delicate, and a misstep will make things much harder. So follow these guidelines.
Watching the drama between “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” star Mimi Faust and her “boyfriend,” rapper Nikko, is like watching a dog walk on its hind legs. It’s weird and confusing but you can’t help but to watch… and laugh.
The two began dating a few episodes ago, although Mimi continues to have sit-downs with her ex, Stevie J, to “work things out.” And after Stevie handed her keys to a BMW right in front of Nikkio’s face, it’s no wonder the status of their relationship appears to be up in the air.
From the looks of a clip from next week’s episode, the couple might have called it quits but we can’t be sure. In a recent interview with The Jasmine Brand, Faust talked Nikko and opportunism and spoke of their relationship on the past tense which could be a good clue to their status. She said:
“I don’t think Nikko was using me. If you ask me, everyone is an opportunist. Everyone in this world is an opportunist and if you’re not, then something may be wrong.”
“I don’t think he (Nikko) was using me. He was trying to get what he was trying do at the forefront and I don’t blame him. I would of done the same thing if I was him. Joseline was doing it to Stevie J. Everyone was doing it, so it is what it is.”
I mean… it does make sense. He’s a rapper trying to get his name out there. She’s a highly controversial star of one of the most watched reality television shows. That’s a straight avenue to the demographic he’s trying to reach in his music.
However, despite her comments on their relationship, Mimi and Nikko recently visited Kandi Burress’s Kandi Koated Nights show together, which makes us ask, are they mending their relationship? Are they on speaking terms? Are they keeping up appearances for the media? It’s all too back-and-forth to call but that seems to Mimi’s M.O. from all the drama she tolerates with baby daddy, Stevie J.
Though there is some conflict about whether she and Nikko are still an item, does it even really matter? I think they have served their entertainment purposes and onlookers are ready to see something else.
What do you think?
Sometimes, after you break things off with your ex, you never see them again… not in the back aisles of bodegas, nor at the concerts of mutually-enjoyed musicians. Depending on how your relationship ended, you’re lucky enough not to see their mug again. Then, there are other exes, those who are always around. They are visible, they make frequent appearances, they know your schedule, they ‘like’ everything on your Facebook wall and Instagram, and/or they still talk to all of your friends. Despite the fact that you two are no longer an item, your ex has failed to get the memo that you both need to move on.
Once, I had an ex who called me every day for the next six months after our short relationship ended, even when he’d moved on to another relationship. I had another ex who would tattle to a mutual friend anytime he saw me hanging out with other guys, claiming that I was being “out of control.” Some exes don’t know how to mind their own business, and some of them need to find business of their own. We’ve all had to deal with a person like this at least once.
Some people are unable to step away from their fallen relationships. Geared by certain motivations, they decide to hang around for a number of reasons, including: personal history, lingering attraction, persisting emotion, fear, or not feeling a sense of closure. And, sometimes, people hang around just so they can stay in your system, and remain relevant. While they don’t necessarily want to be with you, they can’t resist an urge to check on you, access you, and/or make sure that your happiness doesn’t exceed theirs. Their actions not being based on wanting you back, missing you, or caring deeply for you, they often behave this way because it’s simply a matter of them not wanting anyone else to be with you. They suddenly see your value once others are appraising you, and that somehow provokes some insane sense of entitlement in them that compels the person to infringe on your time, make off-hand comments, or to be all-around haters.
Even if your ex has your best intentions in mind, (i.e. calling to check on how you’re doing, being emotionally available) it’s important to gain some sort of distance post breakup, otherwise it produces confusion, and the situation becomes murky. Very solid lines that were been drawn when you two broke up can suddenly become blurred, and the thought of “Why did we break up in the first place?” surfaces. It’s easy to stumble back into a relationship, especially when your ex is a concerned and helpful person. This isn’t to say that you and your ex can’t ever be friends or that you and your ex can’t give it a second go, but it’s important to gain that initial distance for a few reasons.
Number one: if you’re not careful, you might end up bedding him simply because feelings were amidst, and you were feeling sentimental and vulnerable. Number two: you don’t want to use your ex, which can be the can be the case with kind overly-attached exes. As flattering as it is that your ex will still travel several miles out of his way to pick up your dry cleaning, you don’t want to take advantage of that kindness, especially if those kind things are are only being done in order to lure you back into a relationship. Number three: if you decide that the two of you should get back together, remembering why you broke up is really important, and a few nice gestures won’t cure ongoing issues. Make sure you take the proper amount of time to digest your break-up before making the decision to get back with that person.
No longer being with your ex grants you the permission to do whatever you need/want to do, despite the fact that a nosy ex can be a naysayer. Try to vocalize your position to your ex if you’re feeling overwhelmed by them, and try to inform them that while their opinions were once held with the greatest esteem, it’s time for them to take a step way back. Like way back and out of the picture.
We Do More Arguing Than Talking: How To Deal And What It Means When You And Your Man Can’t Seem To Stop Fighting
Every couple does it …and I’m not talking about sex, I’m referring to arguing, bickering, quarreling or whatever you’d like to call it. All normal couples fight–be it about jealousy, differences, anxieties, money, sex, work, forgetfulness, children or housework, everyone’s doing it.
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of disagreement. In fact, it can put things into perspective, it can reveal truth, and it can provide understanding about exactly where you and your partner stand in your relationship. However, it’s when you aren’t able to stop fighting that you should be concerned. When arguments become ongoing, trouble seems to brew just as things seem to finally settle, or light bickering becomes biting remarks, then you need to consider what’s happening beneath the surface of all that back-and-forth.
Depending solely on your situation and the level of growing animosity between the two of you, this fighting can mean a number of things –though probably not anything good. While the reasons why couples fight have already been indicated, the underlying explanation for why couples perpetually fight hasn’t been. The roots of these fights can be as basic as one person always made to feel wrong, made to feel inadequate, not feeling valued or appreciated, not properly healing from a previous relationship, the relationship not being made a priority, or issues with commitment. But because of insecurities and a shared inability to be honest, couples tend to argue about everything except the actual issue. When you and your significant other find that you’re in the same argument over and over again, there’s a strong possibility that either someone feels that they aren’t being heard or something important isn’t being said.
So, if you’re afraid that you’re in a crumbling relationship that’s ruled by anxiety and confrontation, there are a few things you can do to assess the situation, and the first thing you can do is sit down and sort out the facts. Divide fact from fiction, worries from realities, and write down the last few arguments that you’ve had, what sparked those conversations, what ended those arguments …if those arguments ended, what escalated the arguments, how disputes are usually resolved, what the patterns are, and if there is something that you want to convey to your significant other that you’re not able to say. You can easily ask your significant other to do the same, hoping that if they are as committed to the relationship as you are, they won’t take issue with putting aside time to understand the complications in your relationship. The aim is to be as honest as possible when examining the rifts in your relationship, and eventually have a candid discussion about the conclusions that you’ve come to. Remember, when you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings, try not to sound accusatory, and be sure that you’re both being heard. If you two are able to get through a frank and honest conversation, and prevail at a better place than you were before, then you should be comforted by the durability of your relationship.
Rihanna won’t let shade from one of her 29 million Twitter followers slide so I don’t know how young Breezy thought he was going to get away with those comments about their break-up earlier this week. Oh wait, he didn’t.
On Monday, Chris Brown let it be known that his short-lived reunion with Ri Ri is now over, saying:
“I cant be focused on wife-ing someone that young. I need to be the best Chris Brown I can be.”
I think it’s safe to say Rihanna turned around and decided to be the worst Rihanna she can be when, according to the Chicago Sun Times, she gave Chris a smooth cursing out for making that statement. A source told the news outlet that when Ri Ri heard what he had to say she picked up the phone and dialed Breezy ASAP.
“She really blasted him, using language that made it sound like she never will get back with him again — no matter what people think.”
It seems Rihanna’s issue wasn’t so much the fact that he told people they were over, but more so how he relayed the message, with the source adding:
“She really thought that was a sexist, degrading thing for him to say,” referring to the “wife-ing“ comment, “Especially after all Rihanna endured after he beat her and all that.”
OK, that last comment sounds like someone “close to Rihanna” got to running their lips a bit too much, but I certainly wouldn’t doubt the rest of that story. — especially since Rihanna had this to say on Twitter.
Settling is not an option! Nothing less than 100% loyalty, honesty, and respect!! Love ain’t for kidz #butimsleeptho
— Rihanna (@rihanna) May 7, 2013
Y’all think these two are done for real?
Did Naomi Campbell Ditch Her Billionaire Boyfriend Because She’s Become Too Busy For A Relationship?
British supermodel Naomi Campbell is a busy woman these days. Her modeling competition television show The Face has been really successful, not to mention her booming modeling career. When you toss some of her other business endeavors into the mix, it’s hard to imagine how the 42-year-old beauty juggles it all. According to Page Six, the modelpreneur has been so busy that she had to call off her 5-year relationship with her Russian billionaire boo Vladimir Doronin.
“Naomi and Vlad have broken up, and he’s been out partying in New York,” a source told Page Six.
The source added that Vlad was recently spotted at the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Hotel flirting with a blonde woman. Although the pair have allegedly called it quits, another source says that since Naomi and Vlad hooked up in 2008, breaking up and making up has become the norm for the pair, implying that they’ll probably be back together in no time.
“Naomi and Vlad have a complex relationship, and sometimes break up and make up. In many ways their relationship is like a business arrangement. Naomi brings glamor to his hotels and properties, and he treats her extremely well. But they spend a lot of time apart due to work commitments.”
I suppose the real story will be told at Campbell’s upcoming 43rd birthday bash, which is reportedly taking place on May 22nd in Ibiza. Of course at this point, these are all rumors and speculations. Representatives on behalf of Naomi have declined to comment on the allegations.
Do you think it’s possible to have a successful career without allowing your love life to suffer?
Remember the first day Goo Goo, real name Thomasina Atkins, introduced Erica and Tina to Justin on an episode of “Mary Mary?” The sisters put ol’boy through the ringer immediately, but that didn’t stop Goo from making things official — for over a year. But now the couple has confirmed that they’ve called it quits.
If you’re anything like us, you might be saying “Good!” Not that we’re happy at the thought of two people breaking up, it’s just that Justin seemed like a bit of a jerk, especially when he overstepped his relationship bounds and rolled up on Mitch questioning him about Goo’s work as a stylist. Regardless of outsider opinion of him, Goo insists the split was amicable, telling AlwaysAList things just simply didn’t work out.
“Justin and I are no longer together. It’s nothing horrible or bad or anything like that. It just kind of didn’t work out. There were some things we needed to work on and they just kind of didn’t work themselves out.
“I pulled back and looked at the overall relationship and I just thought it would be best if we went our separate ways just as friends,” she said before adding that Justin is a “good guy!”
Goo was also quick to defend Justin’s image on “Mary Mary,” and said “demanding schedules” and “her inability to travel to Atlanta as much” were a big part of the reason the relationship ended.
“I feel like the show didn’t paint him in the best light,” she said. “Justin has been the most supportive man I’ve ever had in my life. Very warm, very kind, very helpful. Never threatened by anything. He didn’t have an issue with me being me, he always supported that and that was something I just wasn’t used to. If there was something that was important to me, it was important to him.”
Likewise, Justin had only good things to say about Goo after the split, saying:
“I’d like to thank Goo for being the very best woman in the world,” he said. “She is the classiest and most-caring individual I have met to date, and I will always love her!
“I’d just like to express my deepest gratitude to everyone who supported me and Goo and our relationship. It was not in vain. We are still great friends and I hope that our relationship can just be an example of how mature adults handle life and its seasons.”
We shall see. What do you think about Goo and Justin’s split?