All Articles Tagged "black women dating"
It was your typical evening filled with networking, free wine and yummy cupcakes. The event’s purpose was to prepare millennial women to become their generation’s next leaders. But they already know how to do that. What they really wanted to know was the question of the hour: “Can I have it all?”
We all know that question is played out like an 8-track but it was interesting to observe how the panel of women leaders reacted, when it was asked. The panelist consisted of three black women and two white. Before responding to the question, the black women sheepishly looked at one another. They offered stories of the typical shoulda-woulda-couldas and encouraged young women to find their mate now. As older women, they reminisced on too many nights going to events solo, only to find themselves going back to an empty hotel room to drink champagne and kiss the news goodnight. Interestingly enough, the two white panelists grinned enthusiastically to answer. As their wedding bands danced on their hands, they eagerly described their journeys of becoming wives and mothers. Their body language and tone made it seem as though dating, marriage and motherhood came so easy, like they ordered them from Amazon. Why do black women make it seem like we have to get on a Struggle Bus to achieve what our white counterparts seem to effortlessly ease into?
One of the most powerful women in business, Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook was heavily criticized for her book Lean In. Critics believed the “Lean In” world Sandberg writes of is only applicable to white women. When it comes to love, Sandberg suggests any career driven woman should look at marriage differently:
“Sandberg states: Many women talk about the importance of “supportive” partners who share the household duties and childcare responsibilities; I truly believe that the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is. I don’t know of a single woman in a leadership position whose life partner is not fully supportive of her career. No exceptions”
Black women are often told their education and career drive serve as road blocks to love and that it is best to not shine their light too much or their partners will become jealous. Also, culturally, many black women are told to focus on their academics rather than creating personal relationships with the gender of their interest.
Joy Chen of Wall Street Journal China believes women should not even marry before thirty. Before you say “Girl, bye,” Chen offers practical advice for a woman to have the marriage that would balance her career. She suggests women should take a head-hunting approach to dating:
“Falling in and out of love with different people is important to helping you better understand what you don’t want in a relationship as well as what you do want. This is your only chance in life to have a range of romantic and sexual experiences, so get out there and have some fun.”
Sandberg and Chen both offer women the opportunity to get to the root of what they want. A woman will stop asking if she can have it all once she tries it all. The art of life is to explore how you feel with what or whom you engage in. Whether it be your career or relationship, only you define what it means to have it all.
It’s Not A Black Women’s Problem: Matchmaker Paul Brunson Explains Why Dating Is A Challenge For Everyone
Love is patient and kind and … complicated, according to Paul Brunson, businessman turned “Modern Day Matchmaker” and now author, who aims to explain in his new book, “It’s Complicated,” why it doesn’t have to be.
For starters, one simple truth lies at the core of Brunson’s beliefs on why our conversations about dating aren’t evolving: “Establishing and maintaining a relationship is the most critical skill we can have,” Brunson told The Huffington Post. “All of the elements that lead you to having a successful romantic relationship are the same elements needed to have a successful platonic relationship,” he added.
In the African-American community, however, that truth is often convoluted by matters of race and the disproportionate number of single black women to men.
Here, Brunson explains why it’s important to check the race talk at the door, along with the biggest hangups he’s encountered in his matchmaking practice.
Read the rest at BlackVoices
More on Madame Noire!
- Where Are They Now? The Real Hollywood Exes (And Mistresses) Of Music’s Biggest Players
- True Life: I Had To Learn The Hard Way
- Self-Pity? No Thanks: Why I Love The Chocolate Skin I’m In
- Well That’s…Interesting: Mimi Is Writing A Book On Warning Signs Of Dating Men In The Industry
- Ask A Very Smart Brotha: Why Falling In Love Is A Choice (And Why I Hate Romantic Comedies)
- Fall Into Your Feelings: How Autumn Will Affect Your Love Life
- Well, You Don’t Say: 9 Celebrities, Ballers, Authors And Vixens You Might Not Have Known Were Virgin Islanders
Interracial dating may be deemed as a touchy subject by many people, but in this installment of Madame On The Street, we discovered it’s no big deal for many New Yorkers. Check out what they had to say about their dating choices.
More on Madame Noire!
- 7 Ways He Wants You To Be Better Than His Last Girlfriend
- The Simmons Family (Including Ex-Wife Valerie Vaughn) Pose For Ebony’s Mother’s Day Issue
- “Ask A Black Man” Episode 2: The Dating Episode
- Sheree’s $750K Salary Demand Likely Got Her Cut
- Stripper Vanity Wonder Writes Book On Undercover Butt Shots Culture
- Columnist Fired For Article On What White Parents Should Tell Kids About Blacks
- Am I Raising a Spoiled Brat?
- Beyonce, Jay-Z & Blue Ivy Head to St. Barts
Ama Yawson, co-founder of http://www.loveessence.com/ a dating site for black women and all men, penned a letter of encouragement to single black women looking for love.
Dear Triumphant Scientifically Attractive Marriageable Single Black Woman,
Sweet kisses? Tender caresses? Inspiring words? Early morning love-making sessions with the person who has promised to love and support you through poverty and wealth, sickness and health as long as you both shall live?
Yes, yes, and more yes. That is exactly what you deserve if your heart so desires.
So to the extent that the negative media surrounding black women’s beauty and relationship prospects, or what Ariana Proehl refers to as the “Tragic Scientifically Unattractive Unmarriageable Single Black Woman Narrative,” has led you to consider giving up on love for one millisecond, I pray that you will reconsider.
Yes, I understand that during the past two years the media has been throwing spears in your direction. Pop singer John Mayer proclaimed that his white supremacist penis won’t allow him to date or mate with a black woman. Our own black brother NFL player, Albert Haynesworth exclaimed that he can’t remember the last time he dated a black woman. Quack scientist Satoshi Kanazawa published an article with “scientific evidence” that black women were less attractive than other women. Countless academics continue to pontificate on the African-American marriage decline while citing black male incarceration rates and high-school drop-out rates to explain the dearth of eligible black men to marry you. It is enough to make you vomit, lose hope and decide to solely focus on other things such as community or political activism.
But I have a question for you.
When have you ever allowed the stereotypes, negative statistics or euro-centric notions of beauty heralded by the mass media to define you or circumscribe your aspirations?
Read the rest of Yawson’s inspiring letter at Black Voices.com.
- More than Foxy Brown: Queens of Blaxploitation Films
- What’s Your Secret? 40-Something Women Who Look 30-Something
- NFL Player Loses Wife and Mother of Two to Suspected Brain Aneurysm
- Madonna, Chelsea Handler and White Woman Privilege
- Does Beyoncé’s Loreal Campaign Offend You?
- Ray J Discusses Relationships with ‘KK’ and Whitney in New Tell-All Book
- Who Deserves The Blame For Whitney Houston’s Demise?
- 10 Common Natural Hair Habits You Should Stop…Now
Interracial dating has been one of the biggest conversations within the black community. Black men have made it no secret their liking to white women. Regina King recently raised the argument that we as black women still have not become completely comfortable dating outside our race. I recently did a survey on a group of black women regarding their reasons for not dating men who are not of color. Through my findings it seems as though black women aren’t actually opposef to dating outside of their race. Part of the dilemma lies in women of color thinking that men outside of their race won’t be attracted to them. Below are the 5 top reasons black women are apprehensive about going there with a white guy.
Dating during the “me years” can be difficult. In your early 20s, you’ve got one foot in adulthood, but you are just barely removed from teenage silliness. As you get a little older, you may find yourself trapped between your relative youth and the increased pressure to “settle down.” Meanwhile, the men in your world are growing and changing in ways that might not always match up with what you need or want. Check our list of some of the common romantic missteps young women make; laugh, cry, reminisce…and try to avoid them if it isn’t too late!
When we were young and we thought about our ideal man, he was perfect. He was smart and fine, charming and confident, sweet and sensitive with a little bit of an edge to him. As we got older we realized a little too fast that all these characteristics don’t always coexist. And if they do you there’s always the other part of the puzzle. He has to want you back. (Kudos to the lucky, lucky sister who’s managed to snag this dream man.) Anyway when you were little, or even today you might pass on somebody you pegged as being “too nice.” Maybe you couldn’t articulate exactly what it was that you couldn’t stand about him; but here are the real reasons why you let that one get away.
Time and time again, we read articles telling us how to look for love—where to go, what to wear, what to say—when, in actuality, there is nothing to look for.
The “good” black men aren’t nestled in the bushes or gathering at a top secret hideout. They are sitting at the booth next to you and your girls; they are helping escort elderly women to their cars at church; they are sprinkled everywhere. Broaden that scope to all available men and there are plenty of options right under your nose. All you have to do to recognize them is be open.
Not all break-ups in your various relationship types have to be nasty. Here are a few tips on how to end a relationship nicely…
Read the rest of this entry »
Here are a few reasons why you’re selecting men who won’t keep a relationship with you:
Read the rest of this entry »