All Articles Tagged "black relationship advice"

How My Boyfriend Became More Loving

October 2nd, 2013 - By Raven Carter
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Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock


From YourTango

While observing flirting practice during one of my classes at the Boston Center for Aduclt Education, I noticed one of my students shrink into herself, fold her arms over her chest, and start to shake.  Since flirting requires an open, friendly and welcoming attitude, I wondered about her behavior. “I guess that’s what practice is for,” I thought to myself.

But I couldn’t help wondering what unconscious belief was causing this behavior.  She seemed to be acting as if she believed, “Men are dangerous.”

Over the years I had become adept at identifying the unconscious beliefs that interfered with people getting the results they wanted, but until that day, I never asked myself what unconscious belief I had that actually worked for me in my relationships with men.  I realized that I believed that “Men are loving.”  It started with my father who dearly loves all his children and the members of his extended family, and still tells me he loves me every day.  Not surprisingly, over the years I have always attracted men who were loving, helpful, and there to take care of me when I needed them.

For example, in my early 20’s I visited Eilat, Israel.  Two Yemenite men walked out of the cardboard house slums in the sand dunes, surrounded me and … bought me lunch with all the change they had in their pockets. In my mid 20’s I broke my elbow, and a man I had met just a week earlier moved in with me for the week, grocery shopped and cooked for me, kept me company in the evenings, and drove me to my parents’ house when they got back from vacation. In my 30’s I met a man in a park who kept house with me for 6 months while I started my postdoctoral training and recovered from burnout.  Most significantly, there have always been innumerable teachers and mentors (women as well as men) and my wonderful husband who supported and still support my growth and success at every stage of my life.

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7 Ways You May Be Emasculating Your Man

February 23rd, 2012 - By jaebi
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Gone are the days when men wore pants and women didn’t. Thanks to women’s suffrage and common sense, women wear what theywant, earn competitive wages and have more to look forward to than being someone’s housewife. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

It’s a liberating time to be a woman, compared to eras past. When it comes to being politically correct, men and women are equals but all that liberation shouldn’t go to a gal’s head. While culture has widened what’s acceptable for a woman, it hasn’t allowed as much wiggle room for men.

While you, and society are upgrading what it means to be a woman, guys are still expected to be MEN. Every woman wants her guy to be a man but many modern ladies struggle to allow him that space. Worse yet, in an effort to be his equal, you may act to rob him of his manhood altogether.

It’s a move every single man fears, and every committed man hates: emasculation. Rather than assume you know that you’re doing (because if you do, he’s in big trouble) view these next slides as the top ways to show a man that being a man don’t mean squat:

Not what you want to do.


"Emasculate his job"



Belittle what he does for a living.

Today, like 1000 years ago, who a man is has been directly tied to what he does for a living i.e. a baker, blacksmith, shepard or financial analyst. If you don’t respect what he does for a living, you need to end it. But if you decide to stick around, know that belittling his profession is like laughing at the size of his penis. His feelings will be hurt and he is going to resent you.

How to Meet A Man While Out With Your Guy Friends

November 15th, 2011 - By Julia Austin
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"Friends at bar"

You love your guy friends. They give you an insight into the mind of man. They fill in as your “date” to plus one events. They are protective of you like an older brother. But, if you’re out with them, let’s face it—people assume you are a couple. Which can be a real problem when you’re trying to flirt with someone new. Here’s how to let your guy friend be helpful—rather than hurtful—in your search.

Girl Just Admit It: 14 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

October 13th, 2011 - By Alexis Garrett Stodghill
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He's just not that into you

No matter what age you are or level of dating experience, reading men’s interest in you can be a struggle. Many men prefer to remain a mystery, opting for privacy in all areas of their lives until they are ready to make a major commitment. God bless the fella who will tell you his intentions up front. But for most men, catching on to their subtle (and not-so-subtle) cues can be an easier way to get their message and avoid unnecessary heartbreak. If you are wondering if your guy is on the fence, but are unsure of whether you should jet, here are 14 telltale signs that he is just not that into you. If anyone you are seeing exhibits a significant number of these traits, it is time to tell him to move along.

Should You Give Him Your Number?

October 10th, 2011 - By SisterToldja
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To give him the digits or not to give him the digits? That is a question made significantly more serious today than, say, 15 years ago. Now that we all have cell phones, allowing someone to have your number now gives them access to reach you at anytime, anywhere. And considering the folks out there who will gladly abuse this privilege, you should think twice before allowing just anyone to get your number. Here are a few common scenarios in which the exchange of info may give you pause, along with our advice on how to proceed.

Let Him Down Easy: How To Deal When You Aren’t Interested

August 30th, 2011 - By SisterToldja
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Rejection sucks, but people tend to emphasize the pain felt by the one getting dissed, not the person doing the dissing. Unless you’re a cold-hearted chick or rejecting the local drug dealer or some other such a*shole, you probably don’t feel particularly good about the task at hand. The best way to protect both parties is to take a gentle, yet firm approach.

Relationship Debate: ‘I Want to Keep Dating Him, But a Girl I Know Dated Him!’

March 11th, 2011 - By China Okasi
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Dear China,

I have been seeing this guy and he is great. However, I am reluctant to take things further because someone I know used to date him as well. The girl and I are not close friends, just associates. Is this inappropriate? It’s just so hard to find a good man that I clique with, but I don’t want to hurt her either.


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10 Relationship Rules You Should Break NOW!

March 11th, 2011 - By Toya Sharee
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Have you ever questioned the code of conduct by which you abide within your relationship?  Many of us consult outdated standards and practices to guide us through relationships, unaware of the fact that many of the rules don’t even apply or are actually sabotaging the relationship more than saving it.

One thing I’ve learned in my years as an educator is that people are more likely to obey the rules if they are involved in creating them.  The best people to set the standard for what it is acceptable in a relationship are the people actually within that relationship.  Is it time to retire these traditional love rules?

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Tips for Stopping a Breakup, If There’s Still a Chance

March 8th, 2011 - By China Okasi
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It sucks when it seems like you’re headed towards a breakup–but it doesn’t have to suck, and it doesn’t have to be a breakup if you take the right measures to ensure that it’s not! Breathe, zoom out of the situation, try not to overreact (even to your overreactions), and figure out if the person you’re loving, is worth you sticking out your relationship. If so, here are some tips that could help you stop the possible break up…

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Lingerie Styles That’ll Heat Up the Bedroom

March 8th, 2011 - By China Okasi
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It’s Hot time again, as we sort through our collection of lingerie styles that will steam up your bedroom. It doesn’t matter what size, shape or insecurities have kept you from adorning yourself with some fabulous lingerie, you should be tempted by at least one of these lingerie styles…

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