Madame Noire | Black Women's Lifestyle Guide | Black Hair | Black Love

Have you ever dated a man who was visually appealing but once he opened his mouth you realized, so sadly, that he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box? It’s tragic. A pretty face will take you far but if that’s all you have to offer, it gets really old, really fast. It’s always nice to have some knowledge inside a pretty face. Check out the celeb men who meet the requirement.

Source: Black Enterprise.com

From BlackEnterprise.com

Although he doesn’t consider himself a relationship expert, Slim Jackson is one of several authors behind the smart, tongue-in-cheek relationship blog, SingleBlackMale.org. The site has become a popular stomping ground for men who need guidance on dealing with the fairer sex and women who want a glimpse into the psyche of the uncommitted man. With topics ranging from sex, love and dating to sports, entertainment and pop culture, Jackson, 29, who serves as the site’s executive editor, along with SBM’s team of opinionated gentlemen, have cultivated a home where the Black man’s perspective reigns supreme and honest advice is dispensed in clever, easy to digest prose.

In 2011, SBM took home two Black Weblog Awards (Best Blog Design; Best Blog Post Series); was featured onEbony magazine’s Power 100 List; and appeared on The Michael Baisden Show to discuss monogamy in relationships. As part of Black Blogger Month, the Albany, NY native tells BlackEnterise.com why connecting with readers means more to him than page views, and how running a successful relationship blog sometimes puts a damper on his dating life.

Read Slim’s interview with BlackEnterprise.com, here. 

More on Madame Noire!

• Hip to the Game: Red Flags We Overlook In Our 20′s And Look Out For In Our 30′s!
• Ashton Kutcher, “Brown Face,” And Why These Images Persist in Media
• Bet You Didn’t Know: Secrets Behind the Making of “Boyz N The Hood”
• Why Do We Feel The Need to Keep Explaining ‘Our’ Fatness?
• Did You Know They Were The Daddy? Surprising Celebrity Parents
• 20 Years Later, Where Are They Now? The Cast of “The Cosby Show”
• Who You Calling a Bit**? A How-To on Properly Addressing Women
  

nwso.net

“Who you calling a bit**?” Yeah, here we go.  Apparently, I gotta let you know I’m not a bit**, a broad or a ho*.”

This is not a feminist manifesto.  A strongblackwoman rant it is not.  It is not a compilation of musings to be dismissed as chick logic.  This is no angry/bitter woman’s monologue.  A Mz. Independent, you better r.e.s.p.e.c.t. me, nag fest this ain’t.

To my Polo wearing, cool is forever, in search of Clair Huxtable, steeped in hip-hop culture brothers (whom we love), THIS is an open letter from colored girls who’ve abandoned suicide in favor of homicide when recounting daily doses of misogyny and declaring ENOUGH.  Let us acknowledge that a bit** is a female dog, a ho* a garden tool and broad an adjective used to describe things that are wide and of great breadth and extent.  And while some are indeed wide with supple rolling hills of wonderment, neither of the aforementioned terms is an appropriate moniker for a woman.

Now, I understand the politics of respectability and I agree that by and large women can do better in respecting themselves and thus garner greater respect from men.  With that, I can already anticipate the argument that not every girl is a woman, but before we go down that road of differentiation—let me submit one thing.  Let’s be real, some of your mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, nieces, cousins and friends have or will exhibit the same kind of behavior that promptly causes you to label a woman a #yourchoicewordhere.  Is it okay then for me to use this same term when referring to your mother?  Are you planning to use similar language for your daughter whose behavior WILL be influenced by the culture you continue to architect with your mouth?  Would it not be a more honorable and affirming practice to do away with vile and violent terms and to refer to the fairer sex as women instead, albeit calling those things that are not as though they were at times.

Let us have another frank moment.  I have not seen such display of unfaltering loyalty than that displayed by the black woman on behalf of the black man.  Even in the face of so many all out media affronts that would have one believe that there are very few dateable black men available for black women, black women continue to express their preference for black men rather than date outside the race.  Black women continue to herald such preference amidst very vocal proclamations of some black men that they prefer to date women who are indeed not black.  Black women will accept a man’s baggage and will embrace and treat children their men fathered with other women as their own.  In some extreme cases, black women will accept collect phone calls, deposit money into commissary accounts, and make the trek to prison to visit black men they love.  Many of us know women like the one Lupe Fiasco references.  You know, “the down baby mama who he really had to honor ‘cause she was his biggest fan,” the one who even let him use her Honda to drive up to Dallas when he opened up for amateurs and “let him keep a debit card so he could put gas in it.”  Man!  That’s a black woman for you.

I’ll leave the painful conversation that includes the bitter truth that black men simply are not as loyal, are not as devoted, are not as committed to black women as we are to them for another day.  But, today I will ask that you do not repay our stalwart allegiance by calling us bit**es, broads and ho*s.  It is disrespectful; it is painful; it is outright unnecessary and uncalled for.  My mama named my Sheena…you should call me Sheena.  I am someone’s daughter, sister, the aunt that nieces and nephews look up to.  I am the friend who affirms those around me and gives them the liberty to be themselves, the companion who is committed to remaining the object of your desire, who makes sure that your stomach remains full, your intellect tickled and your spirit fed, the one who understands your struggle and vows that you will be respected and built up rather than torn down by the words of my mouth.  It is from my bowels, my womb that all of civilization was birthed.  I am a (black) woman.  Call me that.  And for those whom you do not think worthy of the term, call them women anyway.  Call them women until they begin to behave as such.

May I go further?  Don’t call me a female.  Yes, I understand that I am indeed female.  I have two X chromosomes, a vagina that I am quite fond of, a uterus and ovaries.  I’m not denying the obvious.  I am, however, pointing out that calling me a female is another instance where you’re neglecting to acknowledge me as a woman.  How many times have you heard a woman say “I tell you about males” or start a sentence with “males today” while simultaneously shaking her head?  Chances are, never.  You may not understand this, but referring to a woman as a female is usually seen as pejorative.  And despite whether you understand it, if I express to you that I find it disrespectful, you should probably just refrain from using it.  Men arguing for the use of female in place of woman is like white people insisting upon calling black people colored or negro instead, thin people calling overweight people fat, and those who believe they themselves are actually sane referring to mentally ill people as retarded.  While a small case can be made for the use of some words, all of the people in favor of making said case should just take several seats.

Cues U.N.I.T.Y.  Can I entice you my Polo wearing, cool is forever, in search of Clair Huxtable, steeped in hip hop culture brothers—whom I love—to simply love a black woman from infinity to infinity?  She’s not a bit**, a broad or a ho*.  And though she may be female, don’t call her that!  If you can’t call her by name, by all means call her woman.  She just might be the Clair you covet and in turn call you Brother to the Night…let you be the blues in her left thigh and become the funk in her right.  Alriiiight?

More on Madame Noire!

• WEEKEND WRAP-UP! The IRS Wants Faith Evans! Who’s Headed Back To Jail? + MORE!
• LaTanya Richardson Talks About Life With Samuel L. Jackson
• EYE POPPING! Tips On Rocking Bright & Bold Eyeshadow
  
• Childs’ Play: Reasons Why You Attract “Little Boys”
  
• Did You Know They Were The Daddy? Surprising Celebrity Parents
  
• 20 Years Later, Where Are They Now? The Cast of “The Cosby Show”
  
• More Than Just Music: Dynamic Duets Who Also Dated”
  

Source: Black Voices.com

From BlackVoices.com

The average time most doctors spend with their patients during each visit is just 20 minutes, according to 2009 estimates by the National Center for Health Statistics. And a survey last year by health care consultant group Press Ganey determined that before patients even get in to see a doctor, they’ve waited an average of 23 minutes.

But while health care professionals have offered advice on how to minimize waits and how to make the most of your one-on-one time with a doctor, few have ever addressed a hurdle that many black patients may face — racial bias.

In a study published in a March issue of the American Journal of Public Health, researchers found that two-thirds of doctors harbored “unconscious” racial biases toward patients. When those biases were present, researchers found that doctors tended to dominate conversations with African-American patients, pay less attention to their personal and psychosocial needs and make patients feel less involved in making decisions about their health.

“It’s been really extensively shown that minorities don’t receive the same quality of health care as whites in the United States,” said Lisa A. Cooper, M.D., M.P.H., a professor in the Division of General Internal Medicine at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and lead author of the study. “I’ve been interested in the extent to which that is accounted for by the fact that a lot of minorities see physicians who are different from them culturally and racially, and that there might be some problems with cultural misunderstandings or miscommunication.”

Get the rest of the story and learn what you can do to fight this mistreatment  at Black Voices.com. 

More on Madame Noire!

• True Life: I Was Dating a Man With a Secret…
• Who Gon’ Check Me, Boo? Annoying Things You Should Check Your Friends About
• It’s The Most Ratchet Time of the Year: The Ugliest Prom Dresses of All Time
• Wonder What It Was Like To Date A Young Obama? 2 Ex-Girlfriends Reveal All
• Don’t Play With Me: 6 Things You Don’t Joke About With Black Women
• When Dining Goes Bad: Family Locked In Restaurant When They Refuse To Tip
• Patience is a Virtue: An Open Letter To My Future Husband

Source: mylazythoughts.tumblr.com

When I watch a movie, if it’s good, I’m all in. Completely invested, often times too much so. Throughout the duration of the movie, I struggle with the characters. When they laugh, I laugh. When they cry, I cry. I go through it. And if the film is really good, I find myself trying to find solutions to the problems they encountered, long after the movie is over. Some stories and the characters in them just stick with you. This is particularly true when it comes to the “bad guys.” From an early age we think we know who falls into that category and we try to avoid the bad dudes at all costs. But in these memorable movies, the bad guy is thrown in your face. You have to deal with him and sometimes he’s a bit terrifying. See who I’m talking about.

We’re back with a fresh new episode of Ask A Black Man! Ladies this is our season finale, so we held out for the good stuff in the end. More eye candy, more honesty–we all thought this was our favorite episode to date due to the true honesty that was provided by our panelists. We’llw arn you now: it may not be easy to digest.

In this episode, a new panel of men discuss the topic of marriage. MN commenter favorite Devale is joining us for another episode, while LA (Laurence), George Twopointoh, Zarette and Brannue Life represent for the first time on stage. Our lovely host Kela Walker holds it down for the ladies, per the usual.

Watch this episode now, and come back at 6pm EST today to watch the extended version of The Sex Episode. We couldn’t fit all the questions, answers and commentary from the men into this episode, but you can watch the whole thing at 6pm tonight. You won’t wanna miss the rest of this discussion!

MORE ASK A BLACK MAN:

• Series Sneak Peek [Trailer]
• Episode 1: The Life of A Single Man
• Episode 1: The Life of A Single Man [Extended Cut]
• Episode 2: The Dating Episode
• Episode 2: The Dating Episode [Extended Cut]
• Episode 3: The SEX Episode
• Episode 3: The SEX Episode [Extended Cut]
• Episode 4: The Marriage Episode
• Episode 4: The Marriage Episode [Extended Cut]

MEET THE “ASK A BLACK MAN” CAST

• Host: Kela Walker
• Panama Jackson
• Lester
• Dozie
• Mo
• Skoob
• Bentley Kapten
• Birchell Glenn
• Jeff
• Demetrius Travis
• Devale Ellis
• LC 
• Stephen
• Marco G.
• L.A. 
• Zarette
• Brannue Life 
• George 2.0 

Source: thyblackman.com

Ever notice that any discussion on weight in the African-American community seems to only center on women?

I’ve noticed it. In blogs, on television and in news articles. Everyone wants black women to get fit, especially men.  Boris Kodjoe once went on an ill-advised and bone-headed Twitter tirade/rant aimed at overweight black women.  And NPR even ran a piece a couple of months ago on how half of African-American women in the U.S. are obese.  It seems that everyone is obsessed with our weight and is out to save us from the terrible health dilemma associated with being fat. You could sort of understand as all the studies and crunched numbers show black women have the highest rates of being overweight and obese compared to other groups in the United States.  Truth be told, it couldn’t hurt for us to focus more on our health and well-being. However our weight, as black women, is not the full story.

According to the latest statistics provided by the Office of Minority Health in the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, while 78 percent of African-American women can be classified as overweight or obese, the number of black men classified as either overweight or obese is 71 percent.  And while black women represent a disproportionately large number of those classified as obese (as having a Body Mass Index of 30 pounds or greater), black men as a group were more likely to be classified as overweight (as defined as having a BMI at 25 percent or greater than the standard) than black women. In other words, what we have here is a situation of the fat pot calling the fat kettle a fat a**.

So how did the conversation about weight within the community become so skewed? I think that one of the reasons why the issue of obesity in the community has transformed into a women-only issue is because of our societal impulse to believe that women, and more importantly their bodies, are for gawking. Women are more often described, judged and criticized in terms of what we look like, rather than what we think or do far more than our male counterparts. As such, our society has created numerous industries – from cosmetics, to fashion, right down to weight loss regiments and programs – which help to further reinforce the notions that a woman’s body, particularly her shape, holds more value than anything else she has to offer.

The ironic thing is that obesity rates have increased sharply in the United States over the past 30 years in general, and today, nearly one-third of children and adolescents are overweight or obese. These children are developing diseases normally associated with adults, such as type-2 diabetes, heart disease and hypertension. African-American children ages 6 to 11 are more likely to be obese or overweight than white children.  And yet we spend a majority of the time focused on women.

Likewise, black men are more likely to be overweight the older they get, have a shorter life span than black women, and according to the Center for Disease Control, are more likely to die from preventable diseases such as heart disease, stroke, cancer and diabetes. While we either chide or celebrate celebrity women such as Mo’Nique, Gabourey Sidibe and even down to Rihanna every time their weight fluctuates, we as a community are virtually silent about their male counterparts like Heavy D and Patrice O’Neal and Rick Ross, whose own weight issues have either contributed to poor health or even death. This gender specific emphasis on weight management might be effective in shaming the fairer sex into shape, but only focusing on women has done a major disservice to our men in the community, who are almost equally at-risk for obesity related illnesses.

This past weekend, I went past my grandmother’s house to visit.  Over the last 10 years she has had a heart attack, two strokes and eventually a triple bypass surgery. Now she is on oxygen.  Unfortunately, watching my grandmother deteriorate in front of my eyes has been all the inspiration I need to ensure that I am eating right and in the gym at least three times a week.  Yet my uncle, who lives and helps to take care of my grandmother and has been a vocal critic of my grandma’s inactivity for years, suffered his first heart attack a few months ago. And still, his main focus is on what my grandmother ain’t doing as opposed to what he needs to be doing for himself.

More on Madame Noire!

• Bet You Didn’t Know: Secrets Behind the Making of “Boomerang”
• Asymmetrical Hair Styles: 7 Celebs That Are A Cut Above The Rest
• Can You See Me? 6 Signs You May Be An Attention Seeker
• Will You Watch? Jim Jones and Chrissy Lampkin Snag VH1 Spinoff
• He’s Baaack: Larenz Tate Starring in New Film, ‘Gun Hill’
• Why There’s No Hope For The Real Housewives of Atlanta
• Too Soon? SNL Spoofs Trayvon Martin Coverage
• Nicki Minaj’s Family Says She Exaggerated Her Father’s Abuse

Though many try to pretend that we live in a colorblind society; for many people of color, racism is a very real issue. Considering we speak to an audience of black women everyday, we thought we’d ask them to share their racist, ridiculous and hurtful experiences with us. Here’s what they had to say.

Artemis: I was 18 in Zurich, learning to speak German. A guy walks up to me with this sneering smile and said, while touching my hair:

“du bist einen schwarzen schlampe.. ja?”

I understood up until the “schlampe” because I had had no reason to know what that meant until then… when I said I didn’t understand it, he just laughed and muttered it again, then got off the tram.

I asked my uncle (who’s white, he married my mom’s sister) what it meant, and watched him get angrier than I’d ever seen him… and told me to punch anyone who ever did it again in the face and get to his office asap.

MN: Did you ever find out what it meant?

Artemis: “You’re a black Slore? yes?” … My uncle told me … Didn’t hurt, but I was pretty pissed off… this guy was nothing like what “tv” in the islands portrayed racists to look like, he looked “normal,” not a monster that will try to rape you. Heck he didn’t even look like he could take me in a fight… meh… I got over it quickly.

Here is the extended cut of Episode 3 from Ask A Black Man, just like we promised! In this version, you can expect to see more questions asked, as well as more discussion between our panelists. This is The Sex Episode, so expect the discussion to be a little racy.

As always, please be respectful of each other and the men in the comments. Thanks in advance!

MORE ASK A BLACK MAN:

• Series Sneak Peek [Trailer]
• Episode 1: The Life of A Single Man
• Episode 1: The Life of A Single Man [Extended Cut]
• Episode 2: The Dating Episode
• Episode 2: The Dating Episode [Extended Cut]
• Episode 3: The SEX Episode
• Episode 3: The SEX Episode [Extended Cut]
• Episode 4: The Marriage Episode
• Episode 4: The Marriage Episode [Extended Cut]

MEET THE “ASK A BLACK MAN” CAST

• Host: Kela Walker
• Panama Jackson
• Lester
• Dozie
• Mo
• Skoob
• Bentley Kapten
• Birchell Glenn
• Jeff
• Demetrius Travis
• Devale Ellis
• LC 
• Stephen
• Marco G.
• L.A. 
• Zarette
• Brannue Life 
• George 2.0 

We’re back with a fresh new episode of Ask A Black Man! In this episode, a new panel of men discuss the trials and tribulations of S-E-X. Panama is joining us for another episode, while LC (Lawrence), Marco, Lester and Stephen represent for the first time on stage. Our lovely host Kela Walker holds it down for the ladies, per the usual.

Watch this episode now, and click here to see the extended version of The Sex Episode. We couldn’t fit all the questions, answers and commentary from the men into this episode, but you can watch the whole thing at 6pm tonight. You won’t wanna miss the rest of this discussion!

MORE ASK A BLACK MAN:

• Series Sneak Peek [Trailer]
• Episode 1: The Life of A Single Man
• Episode 1: The Life of A Single Man [Extended Cut]
• Episode 2: The Dating Episode
• Episode 2: The Dating Episode [Extended Cut]
• Episode 3: The SEX Episode
• Episode 3: The SEX Episode [Extended Cut]
• Episode 4: The Marriage Episode
• Episode 4: The Marriage Episode [Extended Cut]

MEET THE “ASK A BLACK MAN” CAST

• Host: Kela Walker
• Panama Jackson
• Lester
• Dozie
• Mo
• Skoob
• Bentley Kapten
• Birchell Glenn
• Jeff
• Demetrius Travis
• Devale Ellis
• LC 
• Stephen
• Marco G.
• L.A. 
• Zarette
• Brannue Life 
• George 2.0