Credit: AP Image

From The Grio

The families, and especially the children, of the commander-in-chief are almost always considered off-limits by the media and the political opposition, and yet, some conservatives can’t seem to help themselves when it comes to Malia Obama.

In the wake of President Obama’s statement that he would support the selling of Plan B, a birth control product, to girls as young as 15, Fox News host Andrea Tantaros speculated about the sex life of the president’s 14-year-old daughter.

“Are they gonna put her on birth control? Because he’s very concerned with contraceptives and pharmaceuticals that are going in the mouths of everybody else’s 15-year-old daughter,” she said, according to Media Matters.

Tantaros also lashed out at the Obama administration: “They consider 15-year-olds to be women. They want to tell grown women what to do. They know how grown women feel. They have no idea how women feel. They should stop talking about it, because they have no clue.”

Read more at TheGrio.com.

Credit: Shutterstock

From Hello Beautiful

According to a new study, your birth control will not only control whether or not you get pregnant, but it will also control who you’re attracted to. In this study, it was proven that women who take birth control were less partial to masculine facial features when they were on the pill, as compared to being off of it.

The study showed 18 straight college-aged women in the U.K. composite images of men’s and women’s faces. They were told to adjust the images until they’d zeroed in on the face they’d be most attracted to for a short-term or long-term relationship. These women were tested once on the pill and three months later, off the pill.

Women on the pill were less inclined to pick masculine features like stronger jaw lines and prominent brows ridges and they showed no negative effects towards women’s features.

Read more at HelloBeautiful.com.

Shutterstock

While perusing Instagram sometime last week, I came across a very interesting post by an old colleague that was meant to put a few people on blast. He didn’t write what I’m about to say, but rather, he reposted it on his own Instagram profile because he felt the message was one that needed to be shared with as many people as possible. It went something like this:

“B***hes be screaming #teamnokids but forgetting to mention #team 10 abortions !!!”

At the time that I read the post, it was late, and I was chugging down some chocolate milk. (What can I say? It knocks me right out.) But let me tell you, I was so close to spitting my milk out on my phone after reading his post that it’s not even funny. I don’t personally know many women who’ve acted loud and proud like this when it comes to abortions, but I do know a few women (whether they know that I know or not) who’ve terminated pregnancies, some multiple, so I was shocked to see someone put folks on blast on something as trivial as Instagram to discuss such a serious issue. But hey, I guess the individual did have a point.

After the post sat for a few minutes, people started commenting. Many were saying “preach” and “sad but true.” But there was one girl who could speak for #teamabortion, and she had no regrets or sadness about the decisions she made in the past. In fact, she seemed kind of proud when she said in front of his many followers, “Team 4. AND.,” as if to say, “AND WHAT!?” After my colleague said what was on everybody’s mind in response to her (“OMG!”), he told her that she could have kept that little tidbit of information to herself. Her response? “Just saying. Ain’t my fault so many have tried and failed to trap me lmao.” Surprisingly enough, another woman joined in on the thread and agreed with her: “Werd. Rather that than be a rachet a** baby momma.”

I read these three comments over and over again, hoping what I was looking at was a joke. And when I realized these women were dead serious, I cut off my bedroom light, snuggled up under my covers, closed my eyes, and thought to myself, “Wow, the world is definitely going to hell in a hand basket.”

When I shared this story with some friends, they couldn’t believe it to be true, but it was as real as real could get, and very sad at the same time. I would be lying if I said that I don’t judge people from time to time, because we all do, even when we try not to. And while I can’t personally hold a grudge or be upset with another individual for the choices they make with their body and their children, I was hoping we could all have enough sense and tact to know that bragging about the number of times you’ve terminated the life of a baby and that you feel you dodged a bullet is beyond disgusting. While I’m all for women having a choice in what happens with their reproductive organs, I’m disappointed that this choice is so often used as a replacement form of birth control and is now so common that you can joke about it, in public, on social media, with your name attached to your profile, and not feel any kind of way about it. Has the idea of not being “trapped” by the responsibilities of motherhood at an inconvenient time that much of a relief to some that such procedures are now a friggin’ joke or have no emotional impact on us at all? If so, that’s a doggone shame.

In high school and college, I heard about classmates having one or two abortions, and then going on like nothing ever happened. I’ll never forget when one of my cousins told me about a girl she knew who had an abortion. Hoping to be the one to take her home and help her through what she assumed would be a tumultuous time emotionally, my cousin went along with this girl as she made one of the biggest decisions in one’s young life. After the procedure was over, the baby was gone, and the drowsiness had worn off, she tried to stay with the girl and be a shoulder for her. When she asked her how she was feeling and if she wanted to talk, my cousin said that this young lady perked up like someone asked her if she was ready for ice cream, and proceeded to wave off the whole thing like it never happened. She was “free.” And to this day I know (because the friend has said so) that she sleeps around recklessly because she can, pretending she’s the black Samantha from Sex and the City when she’s really a hot mess.

I’m not trying to throw the hammer down on any woman for doing what she has to do, because I know (or at least I hope) the decision to have an abortion is tough. Plus, only you know what you would do when faced with an unwanted pregnancy at the worst possible time. But I can’t help but be disgusted at people using something that serious and sometimes traumatizing for others and joking about it to be defiant because they can’t handle the truth. While you don’t have to turn into a “rachet a** baby momma” if you don’t want to be one, at least do yourself and these unborn children you’re throwing away a favor and get on a consistent form of birth control. We’ve all made mistakes and had to make tough decisions, but it’s not cute to brag about them; Because while you’re trying to make a joke out of something as serious as an abortion, you’re making a fool out of your damn self.

Source: AP Images

From Alternet.org

By Tracy Weitz

Once again during last night’s townhall presidential debate, even as the important subject of birth control was raised multiple times, there was a complete omission of the critical issue of abortion from program.  Yes, it was raised during last week’s vice presidential debate.  Yet, while the moderator Martha Raddatz did a fantastic job with the overall debate, her framing of the abortion question—and the answers it prompted–were disappointing to anyone concerned about the future of abortion care in the U.S and the not-quite-yet-quaint constitutional notion of a separation between church and state.

Let’s begin with a critique of the question.  Reinforcing the idea that abortion is mainly a personal and religious issue, Ms. Raddatz asked how the candidate’s religious views have shaped their positions on abortion.  While potentially interesting at a forum on personal introspection or while playing Trivial Pursuit, this was a debate concerned with what either Vice President Joe Biden or Congressman Paul Ryan would do as the second most powerful officeholder in a country in which 1.2 million women have an abortion every year.  I personally don’t care whether they believe abortion is right, wrong, moral or immoral.  I care about what they intend to do as policy makers.  Interesting how only abortion, and not economic inequality, war and peace or other matters some relatively prominent Catholics (see: Pope) have talked about as important matters of faith weren’t—and almost never are—fit under the rubric of one’s personal faith.

The question that should have been asked was what policies the candidates support or oppose related to abortion.  How would they use the apparatus of the federal government to further restrict or expand access to abortion care?  Such an approach would have reminded the audience that while the decision to have an abortion is a personal one, how abortion care is financed, provided, and accessed are all public matters.

And if Ms. Raddatz wanted the question to focus on personal beliefs, she could have asked the candidates how they would treat a woman who told them she had had an abortion.  Such an approach would have reminded the candidates that what they are accountable for in their personal lives is the level of respect or judgment they display toward women who have abortions.  Abortion is not an abstract question about one’s philosophical beliefs, it is a real experience that is a part of many American women’s lives, and how the candidates intend to treat women who have abortions matters.

Then there were the responses.  Needless to say, Paul Ryan ‘s position on abortion is well expressed in the dozens of dangerously extreme laws he has supported to restrict access to any abortion, including a bill that allow hospitals to deny emergency abortion care necessary to save a woman’s life.  But he wasn’t asked to offer justifications for these Buchananesque social-policy ideas.  Instead, he was allowed to get away with the assertion that his personal religious beliefs could explain hisprior policy record on abortion.

Yet Ryan’s willingness to now support a policy platform that will allow some abortions to remain legal, in order to become the vice president, went unchallenged.  Why, Ms. Raddatz could have asked, when his future is at stake are compromises to his abortion position acceptable—but when women’s futures are at stake, are they not?  Further Ms. Raddatz could have asked whether Ryan believes that women who have abortions when it is illegal should be criminally prosecuted.  “So Congressman Ryan, how much time should women serve in lockup for having an abortion?”

Although Vice President Biden’s strongly affirmed that he cannot tell women what to do with their bodies, he offered no proactive support for women’s access to care.  He reinforced the idea that abortion exists because of Roe v. Wade and that the future of abortion resides with the next Supreme Court nominations.  But Roe v Wade is not the prevailing constitutional standard for abortion.  Rather that was set by the 1992Casey decision, which allows the government to regulate abortion as long as it doesn’t create an “undue burden” for women (a standard defined about as clearly as pornography or the Romney/Ryan “tax plan”).

It is because of Casey that women are forced to delay their abortions due to waiting periods and have to listen to scientifically unsupported information about the harms of abortion, and that clinics must adhere to physical plant requirements that do nothing to improve the safety of abortion and everything to increase the cost.  Biden stumbled in providing a simplistic answer to a complicated social issue.  Sorry Joe, support for the right to abortion is not enough; I want to know what you are going to do to improve the situation for the women who need and have abortions.   “So Vice President Biden, what are you going to do to expand access to abortion care for all women?”

It is time to ask politicians questions that will elicit differences beyond the simple milquetoast dichotomy that democrats “support a woman’s right to choose” and republicans “support life.”  Terrific, we already know that.  We need to know how they will treat women who actually have abortions and what they will do to reduce or expand access to abortion care.

As modern day women, we have the luxury of having a bit more say when it comes to reproduction. Technology and modern science is something else; but sometimes the stuff manufactured in a lab doesn’t mesh so well with the natural chemistry of our bodies. We took to our Facebook page to ask our lovely Noirettes what type of side effects they’ve experienced from their birth control.

Vanya: Yep, ended up with DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis), which is potentially deadly if the clot breaks off and travels to your lungs….

Janice: MASSIVE weight gain like 25-36 lbs in a 6 mt span had to stop

Talia: When I first started I had morning sickness for a whole month…woke me up at 4 am on the dot.

KM: My hair thinned out horribly. I thought I had alopecia until the dr. told me what was going on.

Farisha: I was taking the pill and my whole spine was sore….from my lower back to the top of my head.

Milan: Maybe I was too young but due to heavy menstrual periods the doctor put me on the depo shot when I was about 12 or 13. I had constant migraines, my head felt like a kaleidascope all day and night. I had such horrible memory loss that I couldn’t even remember my teachers names

Tania: I was on Yaz and it affected my libido. I had absolutely no interest in anything sexual at all.

Candice: Everytime I started a new pack I threw up for half the day. I would have to miss a whole day of classes once a month. Yea, I’m off the pills now.

RaShaun:  I developed a blot clot that started in my leg and traveled up to my lungs (Pulmonary embolism). I didn’t know it was happening until I went to the hospital for the pain I was feeling in my side and back. At first the pain felt like gas, but when it got worse, I could barely move or breath. I had to take blood thinners everyday for 6 months and get my blood checked every week. Now I have to take baby aspirin everyday to lower the risk of getting another blood clot. I also can never take any type of birth control (except condoms of course) ever again.

Jazzmynn: I first took the pill (don’t know which one) it made me a narcoleptic I would literally fall asleep in parties, outside, anywhere my head could rest. I then switched to the ring. I had the doctors surgically remove it because it had irritated my skin and the infected area grew around the ring. Then I took the patch and that was the lesser of the evils but the after affects of bc has left me with a hormone imbalance called PCOS and I get ingrown hair (the worst some dermatologist have ever seen) cramps, heavier cycles, less likely to carry a child to term etc.. Now I’m just abstaining I hate doping my body up.

Denise: Mine use to make me psychotic. Doctor thought it was funny until I told her I would slam her head into the door and not feel bad about it. She changed my pills real quick.

Charley: I got pregnant.. Where was the control?!?

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This is perhaps a question best left for biblical scholars and theologians but it’s one I feel there isn’t necessarily a theological basis for a right or wrong answer, but more so a personal interpretation of scripture or a demonstration of your walk with God. This question came to mind as I looked at a new report from the CDC which found that about 37 percent of births in the United States are the result of unintended pregnancies. The breakdown is that between 2006 and 2010, approximately 23 percent of married women had an unintended pregnancy, compared with 50 percent of unmarried women who were living with their baby’s father, and 67 percent of unmarried women not living with the baby’s father. Though it can be assumed married women who accidentally get pregnant fair better than women who are just living with their child’s father, who likely fair better than a woman who appears to be on her own, thinking about the enormous mental, emotional, and financial toll parenthood takes on mothers and fathers, it’s questionable how healthy it is for anyone to have an unplanned pregnancy at any time.

Birth control among married couples isn’t a common topic of discussion but my thoughts around this news took me back to a chat I had about a year ago with a male friend of mine who is married. I don’t remember our initial topic of discussion for sure but I recall the moment the conversation went left of center for me. It was when he said that Christians who were married shouldn’t be on birth control or take precautions to avoid getting pregnant. Thinking about that statement I’m pretty sure I must have been telling him I wasn’t sure that I wanted children ever and if I did I wanted them about five years into my marriage. That’s when he hit me with his two cents that I did not appreciate at the time. I asked him how he came to that conclusion and he said trying to prevent pregnancy in a marriage is like saying you don’t trust God to sustain you and provide all your needs should you get pregnant. I likened his explanation to getting in a car without a seat belt and expecting God to keep you from flying through the windshield should you get in an accident. I understood his point but I felt as a creation with a higher level of brain activity than God’s other creatures we also have an obligation to not put ourselves in situations that aren’t good for us. If you know that you don’t have the financial means to provide for a child or even the mental stability at the time, should you not avoid bringing one into the world as opposed to relying on a cliche scripture of “God will provide”?  If that’s not the case, then what’s so different from a non-married woman having a child out of wedlock—aside from the fornication aspect. Surely, it takes more than the presence of a man to provide a good home for a child.

I took this interesting point of view, which I had never heard from a non-catholic Christian before that point, to an older friend of mind who regularly studies the word and is a devout christian. She agreed with my male friend’s take, adding that the main purpose of sex is to procreate and therefore trying to prevent that from happening inside the institution of marriage, which God created, was wrong. I don’t recall whether she thought it was an outright sin, but from her view, it wasn’t a demonstration of being willing to accept whatever will God had for your life which could very well include becoming a parent if you are consistently having sex with your spouse.

You’ll have to pardon my “Jackson 5: American Dream” movie reference at this point if you’re not a hardcore fan of the film like I am but when I think of following that line of thinking, all I see is Angela Bassett as Katherine Jackson crying hanging clothes on the line tearful and embarrassed that she was pregnant with child number eight (Michael) and the family was barely surviving as it was. Then, at the slight mention of perhaps trying to avoid a ninth child, Joe (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs) crept up behind her talking about “I don’t believe in no birth controls.” At that point I always thought, I guess you don’t believe in eating either. The thing is, I’ve gained a new understanding on having faith in God, particularly since I quit a job last fall, moved back home to freelance, and literally placed my career and financial future in God’s hands, unsure of what would come next. But I didn’t do those things without at least having some sort of  base plan and asking God for some guidance and assistance along the way. I didn’t put in my resignation and somehow think I could still live in my apartment partially employed without paying rent and Sallie Mae breathing down my neck and nothing but ice cubes in the fridge, I adjusted my circumstances as far as my line of vision could take me and asked him to do the rest.

I understand God’s plan for us to be fruitful and multiply and that if he will take care of the birds of the air and the fish of the sea, then surely he will take care of us. But I still believe we have a responsibility to not unnecessarily put ourselves in situations that we’re not ready to take on. The phrase “family planning” exists for a reason and I don’t believe it’s necessarily outside the will of God to engage in it. I personally don’t view birth control in a marriage as sinful prior to wanting to conceive, I think it’s smart.

What are your thoughts? Is it okay for married Christians to use birth control?

Brande Victorian is the news and operations editor for madamenoire.com. Follow her on twitter @Be_Vic.

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

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Source: HelloBeautiful.com

Looks like Evelyn and Chad have no plans of relinquishing their reigning title as one of the tackiest couples in history of coupledom. In a not-so-surprising TMI moment the New England Patriot tweeted a picture of Evelyn’s birth control pills. There really are no words. Just disapproving grunts and slow head shakes because we’re not the least bit surprised. The only bright side of this situation is that these two won’t be reproducing anytime soon.

See how Evelyn responded to the tweet and accompanying image at HelloBeautiful.com 

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From YourTango.com

It doesn’t matter how charming he is. It doesn’t matter how Hot he is. Your health is still the number one priority.  If you are prepared when he bats his eyelashes and runs his very Hot hand up your thigh, you will stay in control of both your safety and your pleasure. Here are the top five excuses men use to attempt to wiggle out of wearing a condom and the responses you need to stay safe.

Excuse #1: Birth control is the woman’s responsibility.

Sadly this is not a new argument. Ancient Egyptian, Greek and Roman cultures all thought the same thing, and that is why you won’t see many references to condoms in their ancient literature. In fact, the only references to “male birth control” you may find in their writings refer only to “coitus interruptus”—that’s the “pull-out” method, by the way —and anal sex. Puh-lease!

Find out the other ridiculous reasons why your man may try to get out of wearing a condom at YourTango.com. 

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Source: Dailyvenusdiva.com

Last May, plus-size Model Mia Amber Davis passed away from a pulmonary embolism one day after undergoing knee surgery. Blood clots are a rare but common complication of surgery which didn’t make her cause of death seem out of the ordinary. But a year later, Mia’s widowed husband is filing a lawsuit against her OBGYN saying the contraception she was prescribed led to her death.

Michael Yard’s argument is that Mia should have never been prescribed birth control pills Balziva and Zenchent because they are “drugs that greatly increase one’s risk for a pulmonary embolism, especially when combined with [Mia's] other risk factors.” He says Mia’s weight was a significant risk factor and according to TMZ:

“Claims his wife’s doctor should have suggested condoms or other methods of birth control as an alternative … because the drugs ‘greatly increased her risk for a pulmonary embolism and ultimately caused her death.’”

He’s also filed a suit against Mia’s knee surgeon, saying that on April 18 the doctor cleared his deceased wife for knee surgery despite a number of risk factors, including obesity, hyperlipidemia, and the fact she was on Zenchent. He claims the doctor:

“Should have advised [Mia] to eliminate some of her other risk factors prior to clearing her for the surgery.”

Hopefully this is just the behavior of a grieving widow. Surely, Mia’s doctor would have discussed the risks that come with birth control in any form just as the risks of surgery are explained to patients. Nevertheless, Michael is suing for unspecified damages and believes he should be “compensated for the loss of love, companionship, and moral support he suffered as a result of his wife’s death.”

Does he have a chance of Winning?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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From BlackVoices.com

So you meet the man of your dreams, set up shop and make plans to grow old together. Then you find out that his plan does not include having children…ever.

Do you: a) run for the hills; b) give up your hopes of having a mini-me to call your own; or c) proceed with the marriage and then flush your contraception down the toilet so you can get pregnant anyway?

Last week’s episode of Cafe Mom Studios’ Coffee Shop Confessions took on the topic and, more broadly, the idea of lying to your spouse. The subject of debate? A mother who says that she stopped taking her birth control pills without her husband’s knowledge (and against his will presumably) and is now expecting their third child.

“Talk about deceitful!” says Timberly Whitfield, who co-hosts the 10-part YouTube series with Andrew Shue of “Melrose Place” and co-founder of Do Something, Alex McCord of the “Real Housewives of New York,” and actress and dancer Julie Knight.

An international survey conducted in 2009 revealed that spouses are most likely to mislead each other over their whereabouts, but most are far more scrupulous on matters related to sex, money and “the kids.”

For the complete story, visit BlackVoices.com.

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