All Articles Tagged "Belly"
I wish Lamar Odom a speedy recovery. Sincerely.
Still, I have questions. I specifically have a question about love. Or, should I say, how we choose to love.
I have loved some dudes. Some of it was healthy love. Most of it was not. I have loved some dudes who treated me badly. I have loved some dudes who lied and cheated. I have loved some dudes who did not respect me in the least.
But even I, in my most unhealthy of love moments, do not think I could run back and stick by the side of a man who was found unconscious from drugs inside of a brothel.
Don’t get me wrong: I am not heartless. I would definitely see him in the hospital. I would also send him flowers, cookies and pray for him. Heck, I might even help with medical decisions and contribute a few dollars to the cause.
But the divorce, which had been over two years in the making, would go on as scheduled.
And it has nothing to do with whether or not I love him anymore. But as some of us who have labored too long in unhealthy relationships already know, you need to consider your own well-being, and more importantly, your own happiness.
So, this is me hypothetically trying to get out of that situation. And I am trying to go to therapy to figure out my co-dependency issues and what was I hoping to gain for myself by attempting to fix an already troubled man. I am also trying to set and live by the boundaries I created.
I am sure that is what I would do. I am almost certain of it. Well…it is what I envisioned I would do at least.
It’s hard to know for sure, especially when society itself seems to hold special reverence for being a ride-or-die chick. Or should I say some ride-or-die chicks. Some ride-or-die chicks are just dismissed as stupid. And others get to be Khloe Kardashian.
And let’s not get it twisted: For all her wealth, fame and, ahem, prestige, Khloe Kardashian is the epitome of a ride-or-die chick.
Let’s think about this for a minute.
Odom’s recent overdose is just the latest in a long line of troubles, including numerous reports of partying with strippers, infidelity, drug binges and failed rehab attempts. The situation had gotten so bad that Kardashian decided to pull the plug on a reality television show that had been centered around their marriage. She said she did it so that she could “support” her husband as he worked on getting his basketball career back on track.
During the couple’s hiatus from television, they would break up and make up several times throughout the course of their relationship. Although all signs pointed to a divorce, Kardashian told People magazine back in 2012: “I’m a modern girl, but you should put your husband first,” she says. “I like to think divorce is not an option.”
But shortly after a video surfaced, which showed the former Dallas Maverick rapping about using drugs and having several mistresses, Kardashian decided to file for divorce.
As far as the world was concerned, Kardashian had finally sobered up. And it certainly appeared like she had moved on. Not only had she lost weight, changed her hair color and added some extra “accessories,” but she had been linked to a number of eligible bachelors, including French Montana and James Harden.
That was until a couple of weeks ago, when once again, her “husband” found himself in trouble. The same kind of trouble that he had been getting into repeatedly during their marriage. Instead of taking his latest relapse as a sign that she had made the right decision by getting out of that hole and moving on with her life, Kardashian decided to dig deeper. She not only rushed to join him by his bedside, but she also decided to, once again, work on her marriage.
Let’s say this together: Ride or die.
Perhaps it is true that love conquers all and that sometimes we have to weather the storm. That is what we learn about relationships from the fairy tales, romance novels, and our religious teachings. But the reality is that most women (and men) usually don’t always fare too well in these type of ride-or-die circumstances. In many instances, a woman can easily find themselves broke, heartbroken, mentally ill, disease-infested, in jail or even dead.
A great read on the consequences of being a ride-or-die chick is the essay entitled “What Happened to Kiesha?” which first ran on the website Ride or Die Project, a site dedicated to demystifying the trials and tribulations of women who stay in toxic relationships.
As the title suggests, in the essay, writer Amanda Parris breaks down the tragic life of the Kiesha character from the 1998 Hip-Hop film Belly. Although she is a fictional character, Kiesha has become sort of a symbol of not only steadfast loyalty, but also a type of beauty, which was missing from the “light-made-basically-white, surgically enhanced, highly photo-shopped images of beauty paraded with little disruption in today’s Hip Hop scene.”
But as Parris notes, this admiration we have for Kiesha never really translates into actual concern for her well-being. In spite of all of her beauty and faithfulness, Kiesha spends a good portion of the film monitoring the whereabouts of her philandering and ephebophile boyfriend, Tommy. She also physically fights and is brutalized by a home intruder who is after her boyfriend. And finally, she defends herself against the FBI after Tommy locks her up in jail for refusing to snitch on her boyfriend who has now flown the coup.
As Parris notes about this twisted admiration we have for Kiesha:
Absent are the images of her fighting for her life, in the moment left to pay for the decisions made by her lover. What happened to Keisha? What happens to a woman who is repeatedly betrayed, abandoned, incarcerated and assaulted? What happens to a woman who puts her lover at the center of her world when that lover leaves? What happens to a woman who does not have homegirls or support systems that can build her up when the world tries to break her down? What happens to a woman who loves someone that is targeted by the state and in turn becomes the state’s target? What happens to a woman who has learned how to fight for someone else but has no one to fight for her?
You can almost say the same thing about Kardashian.
The most interesting aspect of her toxic relationship to Odom is how well-received it has been by the mainstream. Unlike the lottery winner who was vilified and dragged throughout social media for spending her money bailing her drug-dealing boyfriend out of prison, Kardashian is painted almost angelically for going back and helping Odom on his road to recovery. Of course, some have speculated that her sudden benevolence is all for the sake of money and possibly ratings.
While that might be true, nowhere in any of this criticism is there any concern about the actual prudence of being devoted to a man who is troubled, and as a result of his troubles, does her harm.
And this is not to say that I think we should go around belittling women who opt to ride hard for their relationships. And while I truly believe Kardashian is setting herself up for a world of hurt, the truth is she is much more protected (emotionally, financially and spiritually) than the average Kiesha would be in similar circumstances. But I do think the Kardashian’s public relations machine and the media are both masking some pretty regressive values and ideas around this idea that love conquers all.
And I also feel like we should be conscious of the narrative that continue to tell women that the only way to be a good woman in a relationship, as well as in life, is to be a dedicated dumping ground for a man’s wayward seeds, sins and lack of self-esteem.
After all, what could she have seen in Odom in this latest incident, which led her to believe him to be a better man? And no, almost dying doesn’t count.
I wish both Odom and Kardashian well. But I do believe that his demons are deeper than his drug addiction. And truthfully, so are hers.
I’m something of a Netflix-head, and I noticed recently that the movie Belly was added to “Instant” watch. Score! Trust me, I know that it isn’t a modern-day classic or anything like that, but the 1998 film, which many would classify as one long and beautifully shot but poorly written movie, definitely was entertaining. I just so happened to watch it last night while nursing a cold and I wondered what the actors had been up to since doing the film. So in case you were wondering, here is an update on the cast of Belly.
Nas as Sincere
Nas didn’t give the best performance as Sincere (I mean, he delivered most lines as monotonous as possible), but who was expecting Denzel-caliber work? After Belly, Nas decided to stick to rapping for the most part, but continued to try his hand here and there at acting. He was in Sacred is the Flesh, “Hawaii Five-0” and most recently was cast as Street Poet Isaiah in Black Nativity. He has been able to fuse both his music and film together with the upcoming documentary on his life, Nas: Time Is Illmatic.
Movie sex scenes can be memorable for more than just being hot. Sometimes they can stay on your mind because they were so over the top and at times disturbing that you couldn’t wait for it to be over. Some of the movies on this list are like that, and others were just so awkward that they weren’t really even believable. Here are a few scenes from a few popular movies that we could have done without. And just so you know, the links to the clips are included in case you haven’t seen them.
Talk about THE most. I understood the importance of the sex scene between Billy Bob Thornton and Halle Berry. It was a vulnerable moment for her character post the accidental death of her son, and the moment where Thornton’s character realized he wanted something more from her. However, after more than four minutes of a variety of sex positions between the actors, the scene just went on way too long and became a bit hard to watch. They definitely went over the top with this one.
Amber Rose let it be known this week that she’s making a baby not Ramen Noodles in response to comments that it seems like she’s been pregnant for forever now, but it looks like her little dog Frankie thinks there’s something tasty inside the soon-to-be Mrs. Khalifa’s belly.
Although Wiz’s lady looks like she’s going to pop any day now, it’s not slowing Amber down one bit. Earlier, she tweeted this pic of her doing yoga in “one of the positions that got me here in the first place,” Aand later she posted this image of her dog Franky “giving his little bruva kisses.” I’m no dog expert, but lil Franky looks hungry to me. Still, I can’t deny that this is a super cute pic. Caption it for us and tell us what’s going through Franky’s mind.
When it’s time to spend some time at home with friends and fam, these are the movies you play over and over again until you know half the words. We have 15 of our favorite hood classics here. If we missed your favorite, let us know in the comments section.