All Articles Tagged "bad habits"
Just like couples in a relationship, it’s all too easy for friends to get lazy when the honeymoon phase is over. When you’ve finally realized you got a true friend forever who shares your love of In Living Color re-runs and Swedish Fish water ice, you may find yourself falling into behaviors and routines that slowly start to damage your bond. Check out 9 best friend bad habits you should avoid so you’re not left riding solo:
As small business owners, the name of the game is staying on top of yours as there is tons of competition out there looking for the same opportunities as you are. This can include the basics like having a good plan set in place (see “9 Tips to Creating a Marketing Plan“) to making sure you have the ideal work environment and employees. While all of this is great, there are still ways to sabotage potential success that just might cost you dearly. Here are 10 bad habits that can hurt your business. Hopefully you don’t have any of these… or can correct them before it’s too late.
These bad habits, whether you do them consciously or not, could be slowly ruining your relationship. Are you guilty of any?
Everyone has one trait that people notice the most. Mine has always been my cheerful disposition and ability to make people happy. I’ll admit that I’m a pretty chill and passive person. I don’t take things too seriously (besides my work) and when people make mistakes, I’m willing to forgive and move on. When people skip me in line, I don’t make a big deal, and when someone cancels plans I don’t cry in corners. Let’s just say I let a lot of things happen to me that I shouldn’t. I knew this was a problem, but I’ve always believed you shouldn’t change who you are for anyone–ever. But once I noticed my pushover ways, I realized that there were signs from the very beginning that I was letting myself be mistreated.
Bad Habits Start Young
I’m an old soul. I was raised by my grandmother until I was 12 and then moved in with my aunt. My grandmother taught me manners, understanding and how to care for others. This was something that sunk in like a catchy pop song. I love caring for people and being the private person I am, I hold my friends and relationships at a high level. What my grandmother forgot to teach me was how to realize when people are taking advantage of kindness.
With my family I was always the one to clean up after meals (because no one else wanted to), I was pushed by my friends to talk to the guys for drinks, I had to play the peacemaker in petty fights, and so on and so forth. I was naive enough to once see these predicaments as brave bold moments, but it’s also evident that it went like this to my friends: “Ask Desire, she’s not going to say no.” I couldn’t be mad at that. When you allow people to treat you a particular way, it’s not going to stop because you want it to.
Over -Working It
When it comes to my professional life, I’ve always believed that it can be controlled. When you produce good work, you’ll get great results. In college, I started out as a sports writer for my paper. It was far from what I wanted, but again, I was the only one willing to take stories no one wanted to. From there I made my way to Copy Editor, Managing Editor and my senior year I became editor-in-chief. After college, I interned with one of the biggest music magazines in the industry. I wanted to be great, so great that I committed to stories I couldn’t do because I had to work at my part-time job. My urge to be great resulted in me sneaking in the stock room transcribing interviews and writing posts. I had no balance and it was because I allowed myself to put up with so much that I almost lost my mind in the process.
Lovers and Friends
Friends are the ones that know you best right? I found myself getting the rough end of the stick when I painted perfect images of my friends. With me moving to New York from Georgia, I’ve made “friends” all over. I called anyone who was nice to me my friend when they didn’t deserve the title; so much so that friends have gotten me caught up in their relationships, made me late on my own bills so they can have money, and just plain alone. I lost my way in the midst of trying to please others. I even sought approval from men and let them take advantage of me in exchange for moments of pleasure. It’s not easy to accept when you’re wrong, but I was over being a pushover. I was tired of the pain, tired of the struggle and stress for no reason, and in the end, the only thing you can do is change.
Finally Finding Balance
Change doesn’t happen overnight. I’ve been taking baby steps, distancing myself from people who don’t deserve my time, voicing how I feel and becoming more assertive in all aspects of my life. If you don’t stand up for yourself, who will? You’re surrounded by what you create. If you allow people to constantly walk over you, your growth is just as distant as world peace. Sticking up for myself has been the most liberating feeling ever. I know that my grandmother could never teach me this because it was something I had to experience. Growth is amazing, and I’m glad that my pushover days are behind me.
Why Are You Waiting For The New Year To Act Right? 10 Ratchet Behaviors We Should Leave Behind in 2012…Starting Now
A part of me is so happy to see 2012 leave, as long as it’s taking the “ChriannaRueche” love triangle, Joseline Hernandez, the Romney family and the Twilight series franchise with it. But seriously, something about 2012 made me completely disgusted with how African-American women are portrayed and more importantly what we prioritize. This was the year of the booty shot fails, the stripper/sideline chick/baby mama, and the ratchet. Sadly, it makes me wonder when we stopped wanting more for ourselves. It’s like I looked up and one of the best things we had going for us was the cast and crew behind Scandal. Is that all we’ve got? So not just for 2013, but starting right now, I propose our resolution be to stop engaging in the following ratchet behaviors:
1. Knowing more about Basketball Wives than Obamacare.
If you can recite the names of all the characters on Basketball Wives, but can’t tell me any of the changes the Affordable Care Act made to U.S. health insurance, I’m going to need you to turn to CNN for at least five minutes a day. When you become of age to vote, it’s definitely time to know how the economy, politics and world issues directly affect you. You don’t have to break down the details of the fiscal cliff, but your knowledge of current events and economy should go beyond what you can write off come tax season.
Ever wonder why a budding romance seems to be going so well for a spell, only for it to come crashing down in flames after a few short weeks or months? Sometimes it’s simply not meant to be, but most times it could be our own behavior sabotaging our love lives over and over again. We know we may be doing something wrong, but we don’t want to take a close look at ourselves and own up to it. It’s time to do some soul searching and break the routine of bad emotional habits that could be ruining your chances at a healthy relationship.
1. Allowing Everyone in Your Business
Some people don’t know how to keep their friends and family out of their relationships. If you and your man have a fight, your girls don’t need to know ALL of the details. Sure, you may need to vent, but your besties will still hold a grudge against your man long after you’ve forgiven him…and they won’t let you live it down. Pretty soon they’re giving him the side eye and spreading your business all around town – and he’ll resent you for not keeping your private lives between the both of you. Loose lips can get you dropped – quick, fast and in a hurry. Keep your business to yourself.
New York City smokers already pay the highest cigarette taxes in the nation, but a new state law will push those taxes even higher this summer, according to CNN.
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